


for all i know of you now

by cherylbombshells



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, F/F, and nobody talks about shit, other canon ships and friendships appear, the best friends to lovers to strangers to enemies to friends to lovers au nobody asked for, toni gets a backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2020-08-20 07:22:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 109,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20224030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherylbombshells/pseuds/cherylbombshells
Summary: Toni and Cheryl were best friends (and so much more) growing up, until everything changed during the summer before high school. Now, in junior year, Toni and her Southside friends get transferred to Riverdale High, and she finally has a chance to get an answer to the question that's been haunting her since Cheryl abruptly cut all ties with her two years ago.





	1. Everything Up Til Yesterday Was A Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Title is from the early 2000's Keane classic "We Might As Well Be Strangers", which was the working title of this.  
ii) Chapter count may change. No promises on update speed, but based on experience, not overly timely.  
iii) This is an AU, but it's set in the canon universe, so a blanket warning for any canon typical triggers.  
iv) I'll put all notes about the timeline at the end of this prologue, after you have some context.  
v) Shout out to Ikea and Haydeé for beta-ing and listening to me ramble.

_6._

Annie is six when her father dies.

He was a better man than he was a husband or father, but she loved him all the same; he was a Serpent above all, and what he lived for was what he died for.

She doesn’t have the capacity to fully understand what being dead means yet, but her mother is crying and when her uncle tells her she’s never going to see her dad again, Annie cries too.

They move not long after that, from their trailer on the Southside to a house on the North, that’s bigger than the box they left, but smaller than everything else around it.

Annie doesn’t really understand that either, but there’s a park just down the street now, one that actual kids use instead of teenagers she’s told to stay away from, so she doesn’t really complain.

“Did Grandpa and Uncle Jake die, too?” she asks her mother blunty, when she doesn’t see them for a few days.

The question is light, her age and innocence allowing her mom to smile at it, despite everything. “No, bug,” she promises her daughter, placing her bowl of cereal on the table in front of her and bending down so that she can look into her eyes. “They’re not dead. You’ll still get to see them, just not as much as before.”

“How come?” Annie wonders, voice small and a pout forming on her lips.

Everything is changing too fast and she’s losing too much, and while she’s too young to understand it, she’s old enough to know she doesn’t like it.

Her mother’s smile falters a little as she brushes the bangs out of Annie’s face. “It’s just better this way,” she says simply, thumb brushing over the little girl’s forehead before she leans forward to press a kiss against it. “You’ll be safer here.”

Annie doesn’t ever remember feeling unsafe in her old home on the Southside, but she always had her dad then, and now he’s gone and her mother is always sad, and so she just nods and accepts this change like all the others.

_7._

Annie starts Sweetwater Elementary that September, a couple weeks after her seventh birthday.

She meets Cheryl on the first day.

Like their house, the classroom is bigger than she’s used to, but there’s less kids in it, which makes it easy for her to spot the little girl with the bright red hair, sitting all on her own in the corner.

Annie’s never been a shy kid, but this girl looks like she needs friends more than she does, so instead of going to one of the groups of students huddled together and catching each other up on their summer before the first bell rings, she walks over to the girl with the hair a color she’s never seen before.

The girl doesn’t pay her much mind at first, not until Annie introduces herself with her full name and then follows it up by telling her that everyone just calls her _Annie_.

“Your name’s Annie?” the girl asks, voice small and eyes curious. “Like the orphan Annie? From the movie?”

Annie has no idea what she’s talking about, but she wants her to keep talking, so she takes a shot and shrugs. “I guess so.”

She obviously said the right thing, because it makes the other girl smile really big. “I like that movie,” she shares easily, relaxing and turning a little in her seat to face her. “She has red hair like me.”

“I like your hair,” Annie tells her as she opens her backpack to get out the awesome new school supplies her and her mom had picked up over the weekend.

The other girl watches her for a moment before she speaks again. “My name’s Cheryl,” she finally introduces herself. “Do you wanna be my friend?”

Annie smiles, nods, and offers Cheryl her pinkie; the start of a very long - and complicated - story.

_8._

It doesn’t take long for Annie to figure out that Cheryl’s mother isn’t anything like her own, but the first time she ever sleeps over at Thornhill, Penelope Blossom becomes the first person she’s ever truly hated in all of her eight years of life.

She’s never _liked_ her, even though she’s never formally met her and Cheryl doesn’t really talk about her much; Annie just notices the way she only kisses Cheryl’s brother Jason goodbye on the rare occasions she drops them off for school, and how she always makes her daughter sit in the backseat.

But it isn’t until she spends some actual time around the woman that she decides she _hates_ her.

It doesn’t take Annie more than the car ride to Thornhill for her to realize why she’s never been invited over and why she and Cheryl always play at her house when they hang out instead.

It’s because Penelope Blossom is _mean_.

She has a Cruella de Vil vibe about her, and only speaks to Jason the entire ride home. Cheryl acts totally different around her as well, like she’s scared of doing or saying the wrong thing, and it puts Annie on edge too, like she’s scared _for_ her best friend, even though she doesn’t know what either of them needs to be scared of.

It gets worse when they get to Thornhill, when Penelope doesn’t let them play outside like Jason gets to, and instead sends them to the den to do their homework as soon as they get in the door.

The whole manor, though absolutely ginormous, is creepy and feels a lot more like a haunted house than a home. Annie can’t believe Cheryl actually lives here - she can’t believe _anyone_ lives here - and as the redheaded girl leads her friend through the house, each room is more eerie than the next.

But still, the hugeness of the house can’t be ignored, and it makes Annie wonder what Cheryl must think of _her _house, that seems like a shoebox compared to this - and what she would think of her old trailer, which is even smaller.

Annie doesn’t meet Clifford Blossom until dinner, which is something fancy and gross that she can’t pronounce and is served at a table far too large for kids to be sitting at. There’s more than twice as many people there than there usually is during dinner at her own house, yet it’s far more silent.

“For goodness sake, Cheryl, sit up straight,” Penelope snips as she sends her daughter a glare over her wine glass, and Annie glances nervously over at her friend just in time to see her wiggling around in her giant chair before looking at her mother for approval; the older woman rolls her eyes and shifts them over to Annie. “So what is it your parents do that they couldn’t house you themselves this evening?”

Annie gulps, feeling four sets of eyes on her, and tries to sound polite and proper as she answers, “My mom works on the paper-”

“The Register?” Penelope asks in a way that makes her feel like she’s quizzing her.

Annie nods. “But she’s not working tonight,” she explains, gripping her fork tightly in her hand. “My grandpa hurt himself, so she went to go stay with him in the hospital, ‘cause my uncle is busy.”

“I see,” the woman replies without a hint of sympathy or care. “And where does this grandfather of yours live? Shall we be expecting you to stay for more than one night?”

“On the other side of town,” Annie answers hesitantly, already knowing how Penelope is going to react. She might not be old enough to fully understand why they do it, but she notices the looks people get when she mentions where she’s from and she knows they’re not positive. “On the Southside.”

And just as expected, Penelope’s lips curl up in disgust, but her husband commands her attention before she can say anything, and she doesn’t speak to either Annie or Cheryl for the rest of dinner, until she sends them away without offering the dessert Jason gets to eat alone.

When bedtime rolls around, Penelope insists Annie sleep in a spare room instead of Cheryl’s, and she doesn’t sleep much at all; wonders how she can be so much like her parents while her best friend can be so completely different.

Annie asks Cheryl about how her mother acted at school the next day, once Penelope has driven off without so much as a goodbye to her daughter and Jason has run off to greet his friends.

“What do you mean?” the red haired girl asks.

“Is she always that mean?” she wonders.

Cheryl’s steps slow down until they stop, and when she looks over at her, Annie feels like she’s the taller one. “That was a good night,” she admits softly, her big brown eyes darting down as soon as she confesses.

Annie’s stomach hurts as worry and care for Cheryl, and anger and hatred for Penelope, fill her tiny body up, but her heart hurts worse.

She tries to think of what her mother would say to make this better, but all she can think to do is hug her best friend tight before taking her hand and leading her safely towards the entrance of the school.

_9._

By nine years old, Annie wants to start going by Toni.

Her grandfather comes to spend Thanksgiving with them on the Northside like he does every year and he shares all kinds of stories about her father with her, just like he does every year.

She was so young when he died and it’s been a few years now, she doesn’t really remember him that well - she knows what he looks like more because of pictures than her own memory, and she remembers the way he made her feel better than she remembers any time spent with him - so she’s always eager to learn.

(Her mother doesn’t like to talk about him much.)

“Anthony was a good man,” her grandfather finishes almost every story with. “He would have made an honorable Serpent King one day,” he adds wistfully.

Annie’s face, still full of wonder from hearing about the time her father saved his brother and some friends from a fire, scrunches up. “What’s a Serpent King?”

She’s heard the word _Serpent_ before, and recently realized it’s what’s on the back of the jackets her grandfather and uncle always wear - the same one she’s seen on her father in pictures - but she doesn’t know what it really means and nobody will ever tell her.

“_Thomas_,” her mother cuts in sternly from where she’s been listening from the doorway of her room.

Annie watches them talk silently, the way adults do, and even though she has no idea what they’re saying, she knows that tone of voice well enough to know that her grandfather’s done something he wasn’t supposed to do.

“I know, Karla,” he sighs, nodding at his daughter-in-law and waiting until she’s walked away before turning back to Annie and giving her a smile. “Did you know you were named after your father?”

Annie shakes her head.

When she asks her mother about it later that night, the smile she gets seems a lot sadder than the one her grandfather had earlier.

“Your dad was convinced you were gonna be a boy,” her mother starts, closing the book she was reading and patting the couch so Annie will come sit beside her; a song she recognizes as one of her father’s favorites plays in the background. “And he somehow convinced me to agree to call you Anthony Jr. He wanted to call you Tony, because that nickname never stuck for him like he wanted it to; everyone called him Ant instead, because he was short like you.”

Annie wrinkles her nose, just like her dad used to. “I hate when people call me short.”

When her mother laughs, it sounds kind of like a sob, but instead of crying she just hugs her daughter close. “I know you do, bug. He did, too.” She sighs and presses a kiss to Annie’s head. “When you surprised us, I had already gotten used to the name, so we kept it and named you Antoinette. But seeing your little face, Toni still somehow felt too big for such a little girl, so we started calling you Annie instead and it just kind of stuck.”

The thing is, Annie’s never disliked her name - not the one her mother yells at her when she’s not listening or the one that made Cheryl want to be her friend - but now, suddenly, it feels all wrong for her.

“I’m bigger now, though,” she points out as she looks up at her mother with eyes the same color as her father’s.

But the lips that tremble just a little bit as they curve up are the same shape as hers, too. “Yeah,” her mother agrees, brushing her knuckles against her cheek gently. “You are.”

Cheryl almost cries when Annie asks her to start calling her _Toni_, but considering she half expected her to _actually_ cry, she counts it as a win.

It takes a little bit of time, but eventually she comes around to the name, especially after Annie explains the choice and she realizes just how important it is to her best friend.

“I’d do anything for you, _Toni_,” Cheryl promises her with a smile that’s missing two teeth and an outstretched pinky that fits perfectly around her own.

_10._

Even though her mother is a professional photographer, Toni doesn’t get her first camera until she’s ten, and even then, only because it’s an early birthday present from Cheryl.

“So you can be as good as your mom one day,” her best friend tells her after she’s ripped the wrapping from the box to reveal her surprise, because she knows Toni doesn’t think she ever could be and Cheryl thinks Toni can do anything.

It’s nothing big or professional like the camera her mom always has hanging around her neck, just a cute pink Polaroid camera, and it’s only early because Cheryl is going to be away at some fancy camp for rich kids for the summer.

Penelope only told her a couple nights ago - _told _her, didn’t ask, because of course she didn’t - and Cheryl is only telling Toni now, the day before she leaves.

It’s by far the longest they’ll have ever been apart since they met; Cheryl’s even going to miss her birthday at the end of summer, because she’s not coming back until Labor Day weekend.

It _sucks._

“I know,” the redhead sighs when Toni voices her thoughts, pout firmly in place as she looks down at her new camera - which, on any other day, would make her smile.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whines, even though she knows Cheryl has no choice in the matter.

“I don’t wanna go either,” the other girl promises, sounding just as sad. “You’re gonna make new friends while I’m gone and forget all about me.”

Toni snorts at the very idea. “Yeah, right,” she laughs, trying her best to keep the smile on her face as she looks at the other girl. It feels heavy to hold up, but if it’ll make it easier for Cheryl, of course she’ll try. “I don’t like anyone else here but you,” she declares, and she means it completely.

It’s probably not an entirely fair statement to make, considering Toni hasn’t exactly spent all that much time with many of the other kids in their grade to really get to know them that well, but none of them wanted to be Cheryl’s friend, and that’s all she needs to know to tell her that none of them are worth getting to know.

“Me neither,” Cheryl admits with a little giggle, like it feels good to finally say it; she’s always been far too nice about the way the other kids treat her, in Toni’s opinion. “But I don’t want you to be lonely while I’m gone, so just try to find someone that sucks the least and be friends with them until I get back. Just don’t find another best friend.”

“I promise,” Toni swears, moving her camera onto the couch and holding up her pinky. “But you have to promise not to find a new best friend at camp, too.”

“Pinky promise,” Cheryl vows with a firm nod and a hooked little finger. She gives the connected digits a shake and they both kiss their thumbs before they let go.

Toni’s heart hurts as the red haired girl struggles to keep her smile from falling, so she thinks quickly and picks the camera up again. “Let’s take a picture,” she suggests, already shuffling closer to her friend. “You can take it with you to camp.”

“Good idea,” she agrees, leaning in so their faces are pressed together, a smile stretched across her lips. Toni plasters on a matching grin and stretches her arm out as far as it will go so she can snap the picture. “I’m gonna write to you when I get there,” Cheryl says when she pulls away. “I think they have computers there, but it’ll be cooler to send a postcard, like in a movie.”

“Okay,” Toni replies, carefully pulling the Polaroid out of the camera. “I’ll write you back.”

“And send pictures?” Cheryl asks hopefully, eyes sad but bright. “I wanna see what you’re doing, so it’ll be like I’m here with you. And it’ll be good practice for when you’re a famous photographer.”

Toni nods, making her second promise of the day, and when the image on the Polaroid slowly starts to come into focus, she already feels herself missing the girl sitting right beside her.

Cheryl sends her another present a month later, while she’s still at camp.

The pink threaded friendship bracelet comes in an envelope addressed to Toni in Cheryl’s big loopy writing, with a letter explaining that she made it for Toni, her one and only best friend forever.

There’s also a picture of Cheryl, squinty eyed and sunburnt, proudly holding up her arm to show the matching red bracelet she’s wearing on her own wrist.

_11._

Junior High is a lot different from elementary school, but by Halloween, Toni thinks she’s gotten the hang of it.

It’s the first year Cheryl’s been truly separated from Jason, who’s only in one of her classes, so the adjustment has been even harder on her, but what she loses in a twin brother, she gains in new friends.

Toni spent most of her lonely summer hanging out with Betty Cooper, the daughter of her mother’s boss, and Betty’s friends Archie, Kevin and Jughead - his _nick_nam_e_, not his real one, she checked - and even though it just made her miss Cheryl more most days, it made starting a new school a little less scary.

Her best friend was a little jealous when she got back, but once she actually met her new friends that she’d seen pictures of all summer, she relaxed a bit.

As expected, Cheryl doesn’t like Jughead, but she isn’t mean about it; she’s more friendly with Betty and Kevin, but mostly because they actually make an effort to include her.

Archie is her favorite, though, just as Toni knew he would be - he’s a redhead, after all.

Which totally doesn’t make Toni jealous or anything, because it’s not like she spends any less time with her best friend or really has to share much of her attention with the ginger haired boy now, but it does make her feel… _something_.

And if that_ something_ inspires her to want to dress up as Annie (the orphan, not Topaz) and dye her hair red for Halloween, well, that still doesn’t mean she’s _jealous_.

(Because she’s _not_.)

“Are you sure you don’t just want to use the wig I bought?” her mother asks the night before Halloween, as she stands behind Toni in the bathroom, a box of red hair dye she was ordered to buy in her hand.

Toni makes a big show of sighing in exasperation. “It has to be _my_ hair that’s red,” she insists for the fourth time, glaring at her mother in the mirror.

She _totally_ doesn’t get it, but what else is new?

Not that Toni can really blame her this time, since it’s not like her feelings have been all that easy to figure out herself lately.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” her mom relents with a soft smile, clearly finding the whole thing amusing, even though this is hardly a laughing matter.

Cheryl thinks otherwise though, because she can’t hold back her laugh when she sees Toni and her newly colored hair the next day at school.

Though in her defense, there’d been a bit of an issue with the dye, and instead of turning her hair red like it was supposed to, Toni’s hair turns out more pink than anything.

Which isn’t _that_ bad, really, because Toni likes the color pink and the red dress she’s wearing still makes her costume obvious, but her hair was supposed to be red like Cheryl and Jason, and _Archie_, and it’s not, and so she just feels kind of dumb for even trying.

But when Cheryl’s laughter calms and the smile that settles on her face seems fond, Toni suddenly feels a little less stupid.

“Hey, _Annie_,” she teases her lightly, looking good in her own Kim Possible costume that Toni had suggested she wear last week. She reaches out to brush her fingers through the bright pink strands. “What happened?”

Toni rolls her eyes and grumbles, “It was supposed to be red, but my mom messed it up.”

Cheryl’s grin doesn’t falter as she twirls her fingers in Toni’s newly pink hair. “Well, I like this better,” she declares in the same assuring tone of voice that Toni has used on her countless times in the past - a lot of times because some kid had made fun of her hair. “You know pink is my favorite color on you.”

Toni absolutely beams at her best friend’s words, an unfamiliar feeling fluttering in her belly that only gets stronger when Archie comes into the room dressed as Chuckie (the rugrat, not the killer doll) and Cheryl doesn't so much as give him a second glance.

_12_.

The first party Toni goes to - the first _real_ party, like with both boys and girls - is Chuck Clayton’s twelfth birthday party, that his parents let him throw at his house.

Neither she nor Cheryl are all that close to him, but Jason is and he scores them both invites, along with Archie, Betty and Kevin - even Jughead gets invited too, but he, predictably, doesn’t go.

(He’s a weirdo.)

Despite all the hype and excitement, it’s not all that different from all the other birthday parties she’s gone to, at least at first. Once Chuck’s parents go upstairs and leave the kids alone in the basement after cake and presents, though, things get a little more interesting.

An overexcited Reggie Mantle gets a game of Truth or Dare going, but once every other dare just ends up being to kiss someone else in the room, it dissolves into a full blown game of Spin the Bottle instead.

Cheryl opts not to play without an explanation, and watches the game unfold from outside of the circle, sitting with Kevin and a few other kids on the couch while Chuck gets the honor of the first spin.

By the time it’s Archie’s turn and his spin lands on Toni, he’s already kissed Betty (whose cheeks are still bright pink) and Tina, but she hasn’t kissed anyone yet.

Ever.

Which means that when Archie crawls across the large circle and awkwardly presses his lips against hers for exactly five mississippis, it’s Toni’s very first kiss.

It’s not special or romantic, and it doesn’t make Toni’s heart flutter at all, but it’s alright. Toni’s never really had any expectations for her first kiss, but Archie Andrews isn’t really a bad one. They obviously have a complicated past by twelve year old standards, at least from her end, but it could’ve been worse - Dilton Doiley is at the party, after all and Midge had spent a good five minutes wiping her mouth after kissing him.

When Toni spins the bottle herself a minute later and it lands on Moose Mason, that one plays out pretty much exactly the same, but nobody really talks about their second kiss, so.

Cheryl sleeps over that night, and they take hours to fall asleep as they lay in bed giggling about everything that happened at the party, from Ethel admitting that she has a crush on Jughead during Truth or Dare to Reggie throwing up from eating too much cake.

“What was it like?” the red haired girl asks curiously, once the topic of Spin the Bottle comes up and they finish agreeing that Betty is so obviously in love with Archie. “Kissing?”

Toni shrugs. “It didn’t really feel like anything,” she answers, flopping down onto her bed and waiting until Cheryl follows her lead and lies down beside her. “It was really quick.” Her best friend nods, and even though she looks like she wants to ask more, she doesn’t. So Toni asks a question of her own. “How come you didn’t wanna play?”

This time it’s Cheryl’s turn to shrug, but hers is more out of embarrassment than nonchalance. The coloring of her cheeks rivals Betty’s and her eyes look anywhere but at the girl lying across from her as she admits, “I didn’t want my first kiss to be part of a game. I want it to be with someone special, someone I actually like, someone _I_ choose, like in the movies.” Her eyes finally find matching brown ones before they roll. “I know it’s cheesy and lame, but-”

“It’s not,” Toni interrupts her gently, reassuringly. She reaches across her tiny bed to smooth out the furrow of her brow before poking her on the nose to coax a smile out of her. “It’s not lame at all.”

Cheryl kisses Toni two days later.

They spend all day making a fort out of pillows and couch cushions in Toni’s living room, because Cheryl casually mentions the time she tried to make one for her and Jason when she was younger, and her mother had scolded her and sent her to her room without dinner.

Toni makes sure it’s the best fort she’s ever made, so it looks more like a castle by the time it’s done, and the look of pure wonder on Cheryl’s face when they crawl inside it with her mother’s laptop to watch something on Netflix makes the whole afternoon worth it.

“Thank you for doing this for me, Toni,” Cheryl says softly, once they’ve picked an old romcom to watch and the studio intros are playing on mute. “You’re the best.”

Toni doesn’t realize how close they’re sitting until she turns her head to look at her best friend, and Cheryl’s looking at her with something close to awe in her eyes, like it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for her.

“Of course, Cher,” she says back, soft and sweet. “I’d do anything for-”

Cheryl closes the tiny gap between them and kisses her before she can finish her promise.

It’s soft and gentle and oddly comforting, like something finally clicking into place; it’s everything her own first kiss wasn’t, and everything she’s glad Cheryl’s is.

It’s special and romantic, just the way Cheryl wanted it and when they pull apart, it’s Toni that’s in awe, and her heart doesn’t stop fluttering for the rest of the night.

(Third time’s a charm.)

_13._

Most kids look forward to the end of the school year and the beginning of summer, but for Toni, it’s become a time she dreads for years now.

It’s always been hard to say goodbye to Cheryl before she’s forced to leave for camp - it gets harder every year instead of getting easier, and this year is by far the hardest.

Because _this_ year, Toni isn’t just losing her best friend for two months; she’s losing her _girl_friend.

Well, okay, they haven’t exactly made that label official yet, but that’s what Toni sees her as now, so that’s what it feels like. Because best friends don’t hold hands as often as they do, or cuddle or kiss, or quickly pull away from lingering hugs or looks when evil mothers walk into the room.

Cheryl has felt like her girlfriend all year, and it sure as hell feels like she’s losing her girlfriend now.

“The time will fly by and I’ll be back before you know it,” Cheryl promises her on their last night together.

They’re at Toni’s house, in her room, but she’s not staying over tonight. Cheryl has to leave first thing in the morning, so they have to say their goodbyes now because Penelope is coming to pick her up at any minute.

“You always say that,” Toni mumbles, pout firmly in place as she stares up at the stars on her ceiling, her head resting comfortably in her kinda-girlfriend’s lap.

“And I’m always right,” Cheryl laughs softly, fingers gently running through Toni’s dark hair. “We’ll send postcards and letters and pictures like always. And I’m allowed to bring my cell phone this year, so I’ll be able to call you on the weekends, at least.”

Toni’s heart aches as she imagines living the next couple months like that, getting only scraps of Cheryl when she’s used to having all of her, all the time.

It was always hard, but now it seems impossible.

“That’s not the same,” she whines, pushing herself up so that she’s sitting across from the other girl, their knees touching as their eyes lock. “It’s not enough.”

Cheryl’s trying to put on a brave face, to keep it together for Toni, she can tell, but she knows the other girl well enough to spot the cracks, like how she’s blinking to keep the tears from pooling in her eyes and the way her bottom lip is wombling just a little.

“I know,” Cheryl admits gently, swallowing her sob as she reaches out to tuck a few loose strands of hair back behind Toni’s ear.

Toni catches her hand in hers before she can pull it back and she holds it tightly in her lap. “I love you,” she blurts out before she can keep the words in, not that she really wanted to.

It’s not the first time she’s told Cheryl that, but it’s the first time she’s meant it the way she does right now. Toni knows she’s young, but she also knows enough about love to know when she feels it.

She’s loved Cheryl since she was seven years old, and even though it’s different now than it was then - and it’ll be different later than it is now - it’s still love.

Puppy love, maybe - _probably_ \- but love, all the same.

“I love you, too,” Cheryl echoes back, her words a little shaky as she leans forward to kiss Toni.

It’s soft and innocent, a promise made with their lips instead of their pinkies, and they’re interrupted before it can become anything else.

The ring of the doorbell echoes ominously throughout the house; the signal of Penelope’s arrival and the sound of goodbye.

_14._

For the first time in as long as she can remember, Toni celebrates her birthday on the Southside.

Sometime around the beginning of summer, almost two weeks after Cheryl left for camp, Toni’s mother lost her job. Or, at least, that’s when Toni found out her mother lost her job, anyways; she wouldn’t doubt if it was sooner than that - she had been acting weird for a while by then.

All she knows is that it was sudden and, according to her mother, in a moment of weakness and frustrated tears, _complete bullshit_. Apparently Alice Cooper had been very apologetic when she fired her out of the blue with some lame excuse of cutting costs, and so was everyone else on the Northside when they all turned her and her extensive resume away while job hunting.

Toni doesn’t know the rest of the details of everything that went down after that, just that it all ended up with them living with her Uncle Jake in his trailer on the Southside of Riverdale by the end of summer.

“It’s only temporary,” her mother had promised the first night, the two of them sharing the old pull out couch in Jake’s living room. “I’ll find a job soon and we’ll be back home before you know it. You just gotta hang in there and be strong for me, okay?”

She had nodded, because a miserable teenager was the last thing her mother needed to add to her list of worries, but it felt like a lie; because it wasn’t about being strong, it was just that Toni had her own list of worries to, well, worry about.

And at the very top of that list, above moving across town into a shoebox and starting a brand new school where she didn’t know anybody and would be away from her best friend (maybe girlfriend), was the fact that she hadn’t heard from said best friend (maybe girlfriend) all summer long.

No postcards, no pictures, no texts, no phone calls, nothing.

For months.

Not even today, on her birthday.

The unemployment and move has almost been a blessing, the way it’s distracted Toni from worrying about Cheryl 24/7 all summer, but no amount of sad melting ice cream cake or nervousness about starting high school can keep her from thinking about the fact that this is the first year since they’ve met that Cheryl hasn’t wished her a happy birthday.

“Make a wish, bug,” her mother gently encourages her, her voice and eyes as sad as the cake she places in front of her.

Toni closes her eyes, wishes for so many things, and blows.

When Labor Day weekend rolls around a couple weeks later, it takes every ounce of self control Toni possesses not to camp out at the gates of Thornhill for Cheryl to get home.

Instead, she sits in her uncle’s trailer and waits for a call that never comes.

And she cries.

Toni cries because she’s worried something’s happened to Cheryl and nobody’s thought to tell her, and she cries because she’s worried nothing has happened to Cheryl and she’s doing this to her of her own free will.

Both options are almost too much to bear, so come Monday, Toni finally asks her mother to drive her to the Northside to get some answers.

Jason answers the door looking a little bigger than he did when he left for football camp over two months ago, and he greets Toni with a hug before offering to go get his sister for her.

Penelope is hovering in the foyer, saying nothing but watching her in the doorway, and Toni’s not sure if it’s just because it’s been so long, but that woman and this house feels even more evil than usual.

Despite everything, Toni’s heart still skips a beat when she sees a flash of long red hair, and then the butterflies in her stomach go crazy as she watches her best friend (maybe girlfriend) descend the staircase.

She feels relief and love and frustration all at once, but more than anything, she can feel that something’s _off_ and those butterflies turn to lead in her stomach, dropping it to her feet.

Cheryl looks different, but not the way Jason does; she doesn’t look better or older or fuller. She just looks… different. Toni can’t place how or why yet, not even when she hugs the other girl and doesn’t feel her hug her back, but when they pull apart and she looks into her eyes, she sees it.

“Hey, Cher,” she whispers, trying to act normal even though she knows nothing is. “I missed you.”

“Yeah, me too,” Cheryl replies non-committedly, not meeting her eyes, and for the first time since they met, Toni doesn’t believe her.

She wants to ask her why she didn’t call or write, she wants to cry and demand answers for why she ignored her for months, but looking at Cheryl now - at the cold indifference in her eyes - she’s too scared to ask because she’s pretty sure that, somehow, the answers she’d get would hurt more than the ones she’s already come up with herself.

“You missed a lot this summer,” Toni forces out, still trying, desperately, to make things normal. “Things kind of got really crazy.”

The redhead swallows thickly, nods. “I heard.”

“Is that…” Toni starts, but then catches the rest of the words as she second guesses herself, searching the redhead’s face until she decides that she _has_ to know. “Is that why you didn’t call or write?”

Cheryl’s eyes finally stop roaming long enough to meet hers, and there’s a flash of something in them that Toni almost misses, but it’s gone before she can even try to put a name to it, and then something shifts.

Her body, her face, her eyes; they harden and sharpen, and change.

Cheryl changes - _finishes_ changing, in whatever way she started over the summer - right before Toni’s eyes.

She stands up straight, squares her shoulders, and looks right at Toni as she delivers her blow. “I was hoping you’d take the hint without me having to spell it out for you.”

The words hit Toni hard, with enough force they almost have her stumbling backwards, but at the same time, they almost roll off her back because she can’t bring herself to believe them.

“You don’t mean that,” she tries to say, to convince Cheryl or herself, she’s not sure. “You can’t. I don’t understand, this doesn’t make any sense. _What hint_?”

She’s grasping at Cheryl’s hands like they’re straws, desperate to make sense of what’s happening and ignore the way she’s not wearing the red bracelet she never takes off, but her best friend (probably not her girlfriend) is pulling her hands away and while Toni swears she spots a crack in her armor when she looks away as she steps back, Penelope is intervening before she can even try to do anything with it.

“That Blossoms do not associate themselves with Southside scum such as yourself,” the older woman cuts in coldly, striding over to grab Toni by her elbow and drag her towards the door.

“Wait, wait, please, _stop_,” she begs through sudden tears, her words directed at Cheryl more than Penelope, pleading with her not to let her mother do this. “Please, Cheryl, come on, just _talk_ to me. Tell me what’s going on!”

But Cheryl doesn’t do anything; she doesn’t even look at Toni as she’s pushed out onto the porch like she’s worth nothing.

“Don’t come back here again,” Penelope orders her simply, hateful venom dripping from her lips, and then the door is slammed in Toni’s face.

She stands there frozen, tears streaming down her face as she stares at the solid oak door separating her from Cheryl; who’s standing on the other side of it, just out of reach, but feels a million miles away.

_15._

For all the bad shit Toni heard about the Southside growing up, living there hasn’t been so bad.

Sure, the streets aren’t that safe and the education system leaves a lot to be desired, but the people are alright. Actually, they’re more than _alright_.

The people on the Southside are pretty great, actually.

Well, some of them are.

_Toni’s_ people are, anyways; the Serpents.

It didn’t take her long to fall in with them, living in their homebase and all - with an uncle that’s gone more often than not and a huge dick the times he’s actually around - and they protected her like she was one of their own, because she _was_.

Turns out, she comes from a long line of Serpents, which she knew before, of course, but only to an extent. She knew of the matching jackets her father, uncle and grandfather wore - saw the name and the logo stitched in the back - but she had no idea how deep it ran; that the Serpents were already in her veins.

Her mother hated it and still does, tried to forbid her from hanging out with them from the first time she heard her daughter utter the gang’s name, but Toni didn’t listen and once her mother had to move to Centerville - the closest decent paying photography job she could find - it got even easier to tune her warnings out.

She gets it - fifteen is young, and her mother blames the Serpents for her husband’s death and is terrified of losing her daughter the same way she lost him, but Toni’s not afraid.

Not of dying, anyways.

Doing a striptease in a dive bar full of old men, though? Yeah, she’s a little afraid of that.

“You ready?” Sweet Pea asks her, face full of bruises and a brand new Serpent jacket hanging off his broad shoulders.

“F.P. said you don’t have to do it tonight if you’re not,” Fangs tacts on, dressed up in his regular plaid because he hasn’t finished his own initiation yet.

Toni looks fondly at the boys who have had her back since her first day at Southside High, who are going through this hell with her, and shakes her head.

“No, I-I’m ready,” she assures them, trying to keep the waver out of her voice.

Toni looks down at the phone she’s currently got a death grip on, the all too familiar text thread practically mocking her; the last two dozen texts all blue, and all marked as read.

She feels like such a sucker for still trying - still hoping; still finding some weird sense of comfort in texting a girl that lives on the Northside, that broke her heart and probably never looked back. She doesn’t do it all the time, just when she has something to say and doesn’t think anyone else in the whole world would understand it. Toni never gets an answer back, but the fact that Cheryl hasn’t changed her number or blocked Toni’s yet is enough.

_About to do something really scary_, she reads over her last text. _But it’s for something pretty great. I think you’d be proud of me for doing it. _

Three bubbles suddenly pop for a second, and Toni’s heart stops, but they disappear as quickly as they came and don’t come back, no matter how hard Toni stares at her phone.

“You got this?” Sweet Pea demands, his stern tone enough to snap Toni out of her daze and pull her eyes up.

Toni takes a moment to register his question, looking between her two friends before glancing back down again and seeing that read receipt underneath her message.

She nods, renewed resolve and a weird sense of adrenaline rushing through her. “I got this.”

Toni Topaz is officially a Southside Serpent by night’s end, with a jacket like her father’s and a nickname like his, too.

She starts dying her hair pink the next day.

_16._

After over two years of living on the Southside, Toni can’t quite believe she ever lived anywhere else.

The Southside feels like home to her now, in a way only a person has ever felt before, so when the rug gets pulled out from under her again, it still gives her whiplash, even though she should be used to it by now.

Toni’s in first period - paying more attention to the snake she’s doodling on her forearm, just above the pink threaded bracelet that still adorns her wrist, than to the teacher’s monotone voice droning on - when she hears the news.

“_Attention, students_,” the principal’s voice crackles through the shitty speaker hanging over the door of the overcrowded classroom. “_Due to unforeseen circumstances, effective tomorrow, Southside High will be shut down indefinitely_.”

The sudden eruption of voices in the small classroom drowns out the rest of the announcement, and Toni can only watch from her desk as everyone goes crazy.

It’s impossible to pretend that Southside High isn’t a complete shithole.

There’s rival gangs, drugs down every hallway, next to no extracurriculars, low funding, and classrooms filled to the brim of students that either don’t want to learn or aren’t afforded the proper resources to.

It’s a rundown high school straight out of a cliche movie, just begging for Michelle Pfeiffer or Hillary Swank or some other Nice White Lady to come in and whip it into shape.

And yet still, a part of Toni thinks she might miss it, just a little bit.

The school day goes on, because apparently the decision was so last minute that they haven’t finished sorting out everyone’s transfer information yet, but classes are a lost cause.

Some go, but the Serpents don’t, electing instead to hang out in the quad and waste their last day as Southside High students smoking and loitering, just as they spent most days before it.

“I heard it was a gas leak,” Sweet Pea theorizes as he, ironically, flicks his lighter on and off.

“I heard toxic fumes,” Fangs speculates from beside him, fingers pulling at random blades of grass and tossing them aside. “From the meth lab in the basement.”

Toni sits across from them, back against a tree and a book in her hand. “That’s a myth.”

“The toxic fumes?”

“The meth lab,” she clarifies, catching Jughead approaching from behind the other two boys when she finally looks up from her book.

He started going there a few months ago, and while it was weird at first, like a ghost from her past life had suddenly shown up in her present, Toni got over it quickly and showed him the ropes - welcomed him to Southside High and the Serpents - and they’re better friends now than they ever were before.

She makes room for him on the ground beside her, moving her bag from one side of her to the other just as he reaches them. “Thanks,” he’s sure to tell her as he sits down. “What are we talking about?”

“Same thing as everyone else,” Toni fills him in, eyes drifting back to her lap in disinterest as Sweet Pea starts questioning the new arrival.

“What’s your theory, Jones?” he grills the beanie wearing boy who hasn’t even fully settled in yet. “I’m sure you have a whole conspiracy cooked up already.”

Toni fights a smirk at the truth of his accusation, and she doesn’t have to look up to know Jughead is likely glaring at Sweet Pea.

She waits for yet another rant about Hiram Lodge to start, but instead he just mumbles, “I hear it was toxic fumes,” to save face. Fangs makes some kind of triumphant sound, while Sweet Pea scoffs, disappointed. “I’m more interested in where we’re all going now.”

“Wait, I actually know this one!” the tallest boy is quick to gloat, bouncing back from his failed attempt at ribbing. “I was in the office after I punched a Ghoulie-”

Toni snorts out a laugh as she turns the page. “What else is new?”

“-And I overheard them talking about the transfers,” Sweet Pea ignores her. “They were still figuring the numbers out and shit, but they’d already decided to separate the gangs. The Ghoulies are getting bussed to Seaside High-”

“Sucks for them,” Fangs can’t help but interject.

“-And we’re all going to Riverdale High,” he finishes with a grin, and his light words land with a thud.

Toni’s head snaps up like a whip, just in time to see Fangs and Sweet Pea’s celebratory high five, and once again, she doesn’t have to look at Jughead to know he looks as stunned as her, and is probably thinking the same thing, too.

_Well, fuck_.

And just like that, Toni’s world gets turned upside down one more time.

(Or maybe this time, because she can’t help being hopeful, even after everything, it’s more like it’s finally turning right side up again.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While S1 and S2 of the show takes place in the same school year, I separated them for this. So even though this is set in S2, when they were sophomores, they’re actually juniors here. Anyways, if you liked it, please let me know in the comments. You can also find me on Twitter (@mylittlefaith) or on Tumblr (@cherbombshells).


	2. Some Things We Don't Talk About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Thank you to everyone that left a comment or kudos for the first chapter, that means a lot.  
ii) This chapter was originally part of a much longer one, but I decided to split it up.  
iii) Which also means that I might end up writing shorter chapters than originally planned and making this more parts, but idk.  
iv) I talk a little more about this chapter in the ending notes.  
v) Thanks again to my friends for listening to me ramble and rereading this almost as many times as I have.

The first thing Toni does when she gets home from her final day at Southside High is call her mother.

She has her phone out before the trailer door even shuts behind her, and she heads straight for the kitchen as she listens to it ring.

When she doesn’t get an answer by the time she’s got a drink in her hand and a leftover slice of cold pizza between her teeth, Toni hangs up and decides to send her a text instead as she heads for her room.

She tosses her school bag in the corner and sits down on her bed, which is just a covered mattress on the door - it’s really not as sad as it sounds, it’s just that the room is really small and a bed frame just made it even smaller - before she starts typing.

_Big news for you when you get home_, Toni tells her mother, fingers swiftly flying over the keyboard of her phone as she tries to write before the pizza breaks in her mouth.

She doesn’t expect the immediate reply she gets; _You better not be pregnant, Antoinette_.

Toni snorts and rolls her eyes as she takes another bite, deciding to leave her mother on read for that crack, and clicks back out to her contacts.

Her fingers seem to have a mind of their own as they slide across her phone screen, tapping and clicking and scrolling, until Toni finds herself staring down at her familiar text thread with Cheryl, the one that hasn’t been used in something like ten months, but still looks exactly the same as the last time she looked at it.

_I’m sorry_, is the last message, marked as read and wrapped in a blue bubble.

It’s in reply to the two grey text bubbles that came before it, finally, after more than a year of silence: _I can’t do this, _the first one reads, and the second,_ Please just stop. _

Toni can’t bring herself to read any further up and remember what it was that finally earned her a reply.

She sighs, heavy and uneasy, and falls back onto her bed with a huff, suddenly not all that hungry anymore.

Her shift at the Whyte Wyrm means that Toni’s working when her mother gets home, but she’s grateful for the mindless distraction.

She’s worked as a bartender there since she stripped on its stage two years ago for a jacket and a family, so everything comes so easily by now - the orders, the drinks, the banter, the pervy assholes - that it’s pretty much the perfect way to turn her brain off of five hours.

So of course _this_ would be the Friday night that Jughead decides to take up drinking and share his woes with the bartender under the guise of keeping her company.

“We haven’t really spoken since before Christmas,” he explains, and he’s still nursing his first beer, so the slight slur in his words is coming from his whining and not his drinking. “We’re not fighting, things are just… weird. Which might be worse than fighting, at least if we were, I'd know where we stand.”

Toni bites back a groan as she wordlessly slides Byrdie her regular order, not really interested in hearing about the continued saga of the Bughead break up for the hundredth time. Jughead moved to the Southside, he joined the Serpents and hid it from Betty; she wasn’t happy when she found out and he pushed her away. It’s hardly the thrilling drama Jughead’s dramatics make it out to be.

“Lingering _weirdness_,” she replies with a roll of her eyes, stacking empty glasses behind the bar before she stops to look pointedly at her friend. “Sounds _awful_. I can’t imagine.”

Jughead takes a second to gauge her tone and another to understand it, but then his eyes light up in recognition. “Fuck, I’m an idiot,” he cringes, shoulders slumping as he rips his beanie off his head. “I’m here complaining about Betty when you have to face the Wicked Witch of the North on Monday.”

Toni softens at the self awareness and has to laugh at his continued dramatics. “She’s not some kind of villain, Jug.”

“Maybe not the version of her you knew,” the boy scoffs, twisting and pulling his worn out beanie in his hands. “But she's changed, _trust me_.”

It’s not something he hasn’t told her before, but Toni still can’t quite bring herself to believe it, even with the glimpse she saw herself that fateful day years ago - the kid is dramatic, after all. Cheryl always has been misunderstood, and she'd bet a week's worth of tips that he's never taken a second to even try to get to know the_ real_ her.

“I know, I know, she’s Regina George-”

“Regina George is a saint compared to her,” Jughead cuts in, taking his film references too seriously. “She’s more Kathryn Merteuil than simple high school mean girl.”

“Sounds like my kinda chick,” Sweet Pea throws in as he sidles up to the bar, as if he’s ever seen Cruel Intentions in his life. “She hot?”

“You’re not her type,” Toni answers before Jughead can. _She doesn’t date Southsiders_, she adds silently, and a little bitterly, in her head. _And definitely not Serpents_.

Sweet Pea shrugs and taps the bottom of his empty beer bottle against the wood, nodding his thanks to Toni when she reaches for it. “Who are we talking about, anyways?”

“Just this girl I used to know,” she answers vaguely as she hands him a new bottle, shooting the other boy a look to keep his mouth shut.

Jughead nods, getting the message loud and clear, and drops the subject entirely.

Toni’s mother is already asleep by the time she gets home from her shift.

She’d set up the pullout couch for her before she’d left - with the pillow and blankets her mom uses when she comes to stay every other weekend - so she’s not surprised to find her curled up and sleeping on it when she walks through the door.

The older woman is a sight for sore eyes and just being in the same room as her fills Toni with a sense of calm and comfort that only two people have ever given her.

“Welcome home, Ma,” she whispers, carefully leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of her mother’s head before she retreats to her room.

Even though she’s mentally and physically exhausted, Toni can’t sleep.

Which isn’t surprising at all, considering the news of the day, but she’d been hopeful.

Try as she might, she can’t stop her thoughts from drifting to Cheryl - which isn’t new, but most nights those thoughts don’t keep her up.

Most nights, Toni falls asleep thinking of Cheryl - of the girl from years past and from just months too, and of the girl lying in her own bed across town; one that surely has a frame with four posters on it and silk sheets that cost more than her trailer - and she dreams.

Usually, she dreams of their childhood and their kisses, of what went wrong and all that’s gone wrong since; of sudden rejections and dead brothers; she dreams of _what ifs_ and _could’ve beens;_ of the future and the present.

But tonight, the dreams never come, because those _what ifs_ and _could’ve beens_ are more like _what wills_, and how the fuck is Toni supposed to sleep knowing that?

For two years, Cheryl’s only existed in her memories, her phone, and the rumors around town - and more recently, the stories Jughead’s told her - and it’s been a struggle for Toni to reconcile them all into a picture of one person.

Toni thinks of Cheryl and she still thinks of that girl that told her _I love you too_ and sealed it with a kiss before she disappeared for the summer and never came back. It's like she's been preserved in time, in Toni's mind and heart, and she can't see her as anything else, because God knows the girl that returned from camp wasn't _her_.

The Cheryl she knew isn’t anything like the one others seem to know now, and even after everything - all that time and all that heartache - Toni just can’t shake the feeling that she still knows Cheryl better than anyone else ever could.

Maybe that makes her a sap, or a sucker, or just plain delusional, but she is who she is.

And who she is, even now, is Cheryl Blossom’s best friend.

(Maybe, hopefully, someday - girlfriend.)

Toni’s showered and making breakfast before her mother even wakes up - the perks of insomnia.

“Look at you,” her mom whistles as she shuffles into the kitchen, covering a yawn as her eyes find the coffee pot. She pours herself a cup and presses a kiss to her daughter’s cheek before she sits down at the table. “Where’s your uncle?”

“No idea,” Toni answers without looking away from the stove. “Wherever he goes when he’s not here.”

Her mother sighs, probably feeling sorry for her, but honestly, Toni prefers it this way. She’d rather be here alone, taking care of herself, than getting locked out and couch surfing, or worse - not being locked out and putting up with Jake’s drinking and all around shitty personality.

“I really wish you’d come live with me,” the older woman says, just like always. And just like always, Toni shakes her head.

When they first moved back to the Southside, Toni’s mother spent months trying to find a job that paid more than minimum wage and didn’t crush her soul, and when she finally found one, it was in Centerville. Toni didn’t want to go with her, because she’d moved around enough and already found some new friends after losing her best one, and for that same reason, her mother let her stay.

She’s lived with her uncle Jake for over two years now, and only sees her mother every other weekend when she comes back to Riverdale to visit. It’s hard, but it would be harder to live with her mother and never see her friends.

Riverdale is her home, North or South, it doesn’t matter; Toni can’t imagine living anywhere else.

“_Ma_,” she sighs, too tired to have this same conversation again.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” her mother relents easily, thankfully dropping the subject before Toni has to say any more. “Tell me, tell me your big news. New girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

Toni laughs, a feeling she thinks she remembers as normalcy settling in.

“Better,” she bites back a grin, glancing back at her mother after she flips a pancake expertly. “New school.”

Toni’s mother is predictably elated by the transfer news.

When they moved back to the Southside, her mother’s second biggest concern - after Toni’s safety - had been her education; she had experienced the quality of Southside High schooling first hand, and like any good mother, she wanted better for her daughter.

She, like most of her classmates, didn’t go to college, and though she was lucky, once upon a time, to get a good job from a woman who knew her struggle well, that luck had eventually run out and she didn’t want Toni to have to rely on anyone else the way she had.

Toni knows all of this because it’s been drilled into her head for as long as she can remember, but it’s been worse these past couple of years, for reasons she understands, but maybe doesn’t agree with.

Her mother wants her to go to some nice college - that she’s working so hard now to pay for - and get some nice job, so she can have a nice stable marriage, with a nice big house, in a nice safe neighborhood, and she probably wants the nice white picket fence to match.

Toni’s not sure she wants all of that for herself, but some of it…

Some of it sounds nice, for lack of a better word. It would at least be nice to have the option.

So when her mother makes her promise not to blow this chance the universe has given her, Toni promises her she won’t.

And, when she slips on her Serpent jacket before they head out to go shopping for better school supplies for her first day at Riverdale High, the look on her mother’s face reminds Toni that she’s already disappointed the woman enough.

She’s already followed one too many of her father’s footsteps, she doesn’t need to follow her mother’s, too.

Not in the wrong directions, anyways; in most ways, Toni wouldn’t mind being like her mother at all.

It takes until Sunday, just a couple of hours before another goodbye, for the obvious question to be asked.

“How are you feeling about seeing Cheryl again?”

The fact that she’s been expecting this question all weekend is the only reason Toni doesn’t drop the wrench in her hand when her mother finally asks it.

It’s not that the answer is complicated - her feelings are, but admitting that isn’t - it’s just that actually hearing the redhead’s name out loud is still like a kick to the gut, or maybe the heart.

“I don’t know,” she finds the words to answer, giving a couple more hard twists of the wrench before she’s satisfied and pushing herself to her feet, taking a break from fixing her bike. “Okay, I guess. I don’t know what to expect.”

Her mother nods from the trailer’s steps, tossing her a bottle of water. “It’s been a long time,” she agrees, crossing her arms across her bent knees as she watches her daughter down a few gulps. “I know things didn’t end well between the two of you, but a lot has happened since. For both of you, but especially for her.”

She means Jason, and the Serpents, and Jason and the Serpents.

“I know, Ma,” Toni sighs, wiping at her mouth and twisting the cap of the bottle anxiously. “I don’t… You know I was never mad at her.” Sad, confused, heartbroken, maybe - definitely - but not _mad_, not ever, not really. At least not after. “I just, I’ve always just wanted answers.”

It never made sense to Toni, that someone could change that much over one summer - that _Cheryl_ could; that Cheryl could ever do that to _her_.

There was something Toni was missing - has been missing this whole time - and until she finds that piece and puts the whole puzzle together, she can’t bring herself to be mad at Cheryl. Because being mad at Cheryl feels like not trusting her, and not trusting her feels too much like giving up on her, in who she used to be - in _them_ and what they had - and Toni just can’t do that.

“You know it would be okay if you _were_, right?” her mother asks softly, patting the space on the step beside her, just like she used to do when Toni was little. “I wish I could give you some answers, but only Cheryl can do that. And you know better than anyone how patient you gotta be with her.”

It’s weird to actually talk about it all so openly after keeping it inside for so long, but Toni knows she’s right and she’s thankful she inherited her mom’s understanding nature.

Her mother doesn’t know everything, of course - there are some things that only Toni and Cheryl know - but she knows more than anyone else; certainly more than Jughead.

Sometimes even, like right now, with that look in her eyes, Toni wonders if her mother knows even more than she does.

*

Monday morning comes after another night of restless sleep, but Toni's still up and ready to go early, because the Serpents had all agreed to meet outside Riverdale High before school starts, to show a united front against their expected opposition.

Except when they get there, their opposition is already waiting for them outside the front doors, in the form of the football team and the cheerleading squad.

It’s not like Toni expected them to be welcomed with open arms, but this seems like a bit much.

Sweet Pea, of course, is ready to fight the second he’s off his bike, but Jughead is quick to grab his shoulder and have Fangs talk him down while he steps up to take the lead and attempt to control the situation.

“What’s this about, Reggie?” he questions, standing out in front of the entire group and directing his attention to who appears to be leading the charge.

Toni almost does a double take at the name - not because Reggie looks all that different, but because she hasn’t spared a second of thought on the boy since the day she graduated junior high - and bites back a scoff at the sight of him; of course he’d grow up to be captain of the douchebags. The thought makes her look for red hair in the crowd, long or even short, but she can't see either.

“What do you think it’s about, Jones?” Reggie sneers, pulling his fists out of the pockets of his letterman jacket and taking a step forward. “We don’t want your kind infesting our school and decreasing the property value. So just go back to your trailer park where you belong.”

His words easily rile up Sweet Pea, world’s worst poker player, but Jughead keeps his face straight. “It’s not _your_ school anymore,” he replies coolly, taking his own step closer. “But if it makes you feel any better, you can have it all to yourself again when we all graduate and you’re still here, repeating eleventh grade trig for the fourth time.”

Reggie grabs two fistfuls of Jughead’s leather jacket before anyone can stop him, but he doesn’t get much further than that before at least a dozen Serpents are stepping forward, ready to fight.

“That’s enough!” a deep, commanding voice breaks through all the testosterone. Reggie takes another moment to stare Jughead down before finally releasing his hold and tossing him into the Serpents crowded behind him by the time the man behind the voice appears through the parted students. “_Everyone_, inside! New students, to the gym for orientation! The rest of you, get to class!”

Reggie and the rest of the Bulldogs reluctantly retreat like scolded puppies, and most of the other students that had gathered to watch the show start to leave too, thinning the crowd enough for Toni to see her.

Cheryl’s standing there, just twenty feet away from her, with her arms crossed over her chest and a look of indifference on her face. She’s standing with a few other girls, decked out in a cheerleading uniform and looking so beautiful Toni has to remind herself how to breathe.

She doesn’t know why it’s such a surprise to see her, considering Toni was up all night again in anticipation, but it’s a shock to her system, the way the sight of her still makes her heart skip a beat.

It doesn’t look like Cheryl sees her at first, but then suddenly, like she senses her, the redhead’s eyes find her through all the students walking towards the school, and the world tilts on its axis.

They stare at each other for heavy, painful beats, and just as Toni starts to feel the world around her fading into just one person, she’s jolted back to reality before she can completely leave it, by a strong hand tugging on her arm.

“Tiny, come on,” Fangs insists, dragging her along as he follows the rest of the Serpents towards the entrance.

Toni’s body moves on autopilot, not fighting him, but she looks back to keep staring at Cheryl until the girl disappears right before her eyes once again.

It must be obvious that Toni’s out of it, because Fangs doesn’t release his hold on her until they’re in the gym and sitting with the other Serpents at the top of the bleachers.

Someone - the principal? Guidance counselor? Random teacher? Toni honestly has no clue - is talking, but all she can focus on is Cheryl.

Because she saw her; after more than two torturous years, Toni finally saw Cheryl.

Not in a picture accompanying an insensitive newspaper article about what happened to her brother, and not on her phone screen, as she scrolls through the other girl’s Instagram on those nights she loses the battle with her will power.

Cheryl was really just standing in front of her, in the flesh. It’s a moment Toni’s thought about for years - imagining all the different ways it might happen - and while it wasn’t the serendipitous encounter she always envisioned it to be, she still doesn’t feel like she was at all prepared for it.

Which she knew already, of course, despite how much she thought and overthought about it all weekend, but the way her heart still feels like it’s beating out of her chest and she can’t focus on anything but the look on the other girl’s face when she saw her, really makes it obvious.

Toni has so many questions, new ones to add to the already long list:

_Did Cheryl know she was coming?_ She knows Toni’s a Serpent now, that much she’s sure of, so if she knew they were enrolled there - and Reggie’s welcome party would suggest the student body did - then she had to assume so.

_Is Cheryl happy to see her? _Her face had been hard to read in the courtyard, but considering their last, very brief interaction through painful text bubbles, Toni thinks it’s also probably safe to assume she isn’t.

_Does Cheryl feel the same way Reggie does?_ She hadn’t said anything during the confrontation, but she’d been there, standing behind him with the rest of the jocks and cheerleaders. And, thinking back to those brief, painful texts again, it’s not like Toni can really fault her for having an issue with the Serpents...

Toni’s driving herself crazy already, with all of this wondering. She thought she could handle it - play it cool and bide her time until the right moment came and Cheryl was finally ready to give her the answers she longed for - but it’s barely been an hour, and already, she knows she can't.

She can handle not knowing why all of this happened - Toni’s had a lot of practice with that - but she can’t handle seeing her, being this close to her, and not knowing where they stand.

(Maybe Jughead isn't so dramatic, after all.)

She needs to talk to Cheryl before the day is done, to get it over with and get some answers, even if they’re not the ones she’s been longing for most.

Toni doesn’t have to wait long, because when she walks into her second period class and spots an agonizingly familiar head of red hair sitting in the front row, she’s hit with a wave of déjà vu so hard it almost knocks her on her ass.

Cheryl doesn’t seem to notice her this time, too caught up in her animated conversation with the girl sitting beside her, and Toni feels like an idiot for expecting her to somehow just sense her presence again as soon as she entered the classroom.

She takes a seat in the back between Sweet Pea and Jughead and pays about as much attention to the lesson as she did the orientation earlier; zoning the man at the front of the class out until he sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher and unconsciously fingering the pink bracelet around her wrist as she burns a hole into the back of Cheryl’s head.

“You’re staring,” Jughead hisses as he nudges her foot with his, jolting her out of her trance.

“Who is she?” Toni asks without looking at the boy beside her. “The girl beside Cheryl?”

She recognizes her from Cheryl’s Instagram, but the redhead has an annoying habit of trying to keep the focus on herself by not tagging any other person in a picture with her, and even in her weakest moments, Toni hasn’t been pathetic enough to actively try to stalk Cheryl’s new friends to find out who they are.

Jughead takes a moment to answer before he sighs and enables her. “Josie McCoy.”

“The Mayor’s daughter?” she immediately connects the dots, finally tearing her eyes away from Cheryl just in time to see her friend nod.

But before Toni can lament on how _not jealous_ she is, she hears Cheryl asking to be excused to use the restroom. She watches as the girl stands from her desk and saunters towards the door, a mature sway in her steps that has Toni hypnotized until she’s out of view.

Without thinking about it too much, Toni’s raising her hand and asking to be excused too, and while it takes more convincing than Cheryl needed, the teacher finally allows Toni to have the extra hall pass when she cites _lady problems_.

(Men, so easy.)

Cheryl’s alone in the washroom when she finds her, applying a layer of red to her lips.

Toni realizes immediately that she should have thought this through better - or, like, at all - because she has no idea what to say now that she's here.

What does someone say to their estranged best friend (maybe ex-girlfriend) that broke their heart and all but ignored them for more than two years without an explanation? To the girl she still loves despite all of that, that might hate her now, if she didn't already, because of who she calls family?

She’s imagined this moment enough times that she should have some idea of what to say, but she’s got nothing; frozen still as the gravity of this long awaited moment starts crushing her, until-

“Can I help you?” Cheryl asks, voice blasé and eyes just briefly finding her in the mirror before they return to her mouth, like she doesn’t even know who Toni is.

It hurts, but the crack is enough to jolt her out of her stupor.

“So you’re really a cheerleader, huh?” is the first thing that comes to Toni’s mind. Well, not the_ first_ thing, but she’s got enough control of her facilities now to read the room. “Never took you for the type.”

If Cheryl wants to keep it casual, Toni can do that, maybe, if she could just ignore that twisting feeling in her gut, and the one that’s squeezing her heart.

But her efforts are for nothing when Cheryl smacks her lips, pops the lid back on her lipstick and finally turns around to face her. Toni’s breath catches as the redhead drags her eyes over her lazily, giving her a once over and looking entirely unimpressed.

“And you’re a gang member,” she drawls, obvious distaste in her tone as she eyes the jacket sitting comfortably on the shorter girl’s shoulders. Toni’s never felt ashamed of wearing it until this moment. “A Serpent, no less.” Distaste sounds closer to hate now. “I guess we’re both full of surprises.”

Had anyone else talked or looked at her like that, she might have had them on the floor by now, but it’s Cheryl and Toni still loves her, and just wants her back.

And just like that, anything else she came here to say or ask suddenly pales in comparison to her need to finish their last exchange - the one _she_ needs to answer for; the one she tried to all those months ago.

Because this isn’t just about the Serpents, not really; it’s about Jason.

“Cher- _Cheryl_,” Toni starts, stuttering and trying not to sound too familiar. She steps closer and reaches out for the other girl’s hands like she did the last time. “I wasn’t lying that day when I said I had nothing to do with Jay Jay’s-”

“Stop, _stop_,” Cheryl quickly cuts her off, roughly pushing her hands away and breaking her facade just a little. “Get your hands off of me, and don’t you dare speak his name.”

Toni should stop, she knows she should, because she’s an absolute idiot for even trying to discuss the Jason issue when that’s not what she came here to do, but she can’t stop, not about this; not until she gets Cheryl to listen_._ Because they’ll never get anywhere until they get passed _this_.

“You _know_ me. You can’t really think I’d ever-”

“_I said stop!_” Cheryl all but shouts at her, finally letting her mask fully slip for just a moment as her voice borders on hysterics before she reins it in quickly, like it never happened. Toni flinches away from her and realizes trying again will only make it worse. “I_ don’t_ know you, and you_ certainly_ don’t know me, not anymore.”

Her voice is calm again, almost threatening, but her eyes give a little more away; they’re hard, but a little wild, with a hint of vulnerability.

Toni tries to stand her ground, even though it feels like her legs might give way underneath her at any moment, and she fights the sting starting behind her eyes - she's always hated this kind of confrontation.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, forcing herself not to look away from Cheryl, because it’s the least she can do.

But Cheryl just shakes her head.

“Listen here, _Serpent_,” she practically snarls, and while her lip curls around the word in disgust, her eyes still don’t quite match her tone. “Reggie Mantle may be a misogynistic buffoon, but on this, we agree; I have no desire to see you or your ilk slithering around the hallways of _my_ school. So stay far away from me. I’m only going to tell you once. Are we clear?”

Because Toni just wants this to end, she nods.

Cheryl’s mouth twists up into a smile that looks all wrong on her pretty face before she makes her leave, walking right into Toni’s shoulder as she goes, like she’s not even there.

And in that moment, she wishes she wasn’t.

Toni’s head is too scrambled to go back to class after that, so she shoots Jughead a text about watching her stuff before she goes outside to clear her head, or scream her lungs out - she hasn’t decided which yet.

“So stupid,” she scolds herself as she pushes through the heavy exit doors like they weigh nothing, but she doesn’t breathe any easier once she’s in the fresh air. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

What was she thinking, cornering Cheryl like that, and with no game plan? Bringing up Jason first thing, or even at all?

How could she have been so naive to think it’d be that easy? That the past two years was all just some kind of misunderstanding that could be sorted out if she could just _see_ Cheryl again and talk to her? Like the last year of Cheryl’s life didn’t happen at all?

_Stupid. _

Toni doesn’t know Cheryl - not _this_ Cheryl - not anymore.

Jughead was right, because that girl… That girl was almost unrecognizable. She’s not even the girl that came back from camp, the one that shattered her heart the first time.

And after everything that’s happened - the stuff Toni knows of, and all the stuff she knows she doesn’t know - why should she be? _How_ could she be?

But_ God_, does Toni wish she was.

She calms down a little later, after walking the length of the parking lot a few times and bumming a smoke off some guy sitting on the hood of his car.

(Toni’s not usually a smoker - of cigarettes, anyways - but sometimes an occasion calls for it, sue her.)

When she hears the bell ring, she realizes she skipped the rest of second period, which isn’t a great first impression to make on her first day at a school full of people that already think she’s nothing but trouble, but _fuck it_. She just couldn’t go back, not when her emotions are still all over the place, and certainly not if she was going to have to be in a room with Cheryl again.

And just as Toni’s hoping Jughead doesn’t mind carrying her stuff around for another period, her phone is vibrating in her pocket, and her friend’s name is flashing on the screen.

“Are you going to next period?” Jughead asks before Toni can even offer him a dejected greeting.

“Can you just bring my shit to lunch with you?” That, she’ll go to.

“Yeah, of course,” he answers easily. “But are you okay?”

Toni laughs, more self deprecating than bitter, and closes her eyes, thinking of the way Cheryl looked at her. “_No_.”

Jughead sighs on the other end and it sounds like he’s moving. “Did you talk to Cheryl?” he asks once the noise of the other students has faded a little, and the silence he’s met with is all the answer he needs. “Let me guess, she was her usual charming, psychopathic self?”

“Don’t, okay?” Toni immediately bristles, though she’s not sure exactly why she doesn’t want to hear his regular anti-Cheryl agenda right now. “Just _don’t_, Jug.”

“You don’t need to defend her, you know that, right?” he points out, sounding a little incredulous, but mostly concerned; worried that she might genuinely not know that. “You’re not her best friend anymore.”

Toni’s eyes shut tighter at the harsh truth she’s tried so hard to deny for years, and she sighs, heavy and tired, the sun hot on her face. “It’s not that easy.”

Even after everything that’s happened - after what _just_ happened - it’s not easy, none of it is, least of all her feelings.

“I know it’s not,” Jughead sighs again, still sounding surprisingly patient. “I know it’s not easy, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated, either,” he advises her gently. “I don’t know everything and you don’t either, but what I _do_ know is that it’s not your fault. I just don’t know why _you_ don’t know that yet. You didn’t do anything to make her end your friendship, _you’re_ not the one that changed.” A second bell rings before he can continue. “Look, I gotta go, but you’re allowed to be angry at her, okay? At the whole fucking situation. I know that much, too.”

The call disconnects before anything more can be said, but Toni’s already heard enough.

_It’s not your fault_, she keeps replaying in her head, over and over, until she believes it.

It’s not her fault, she reiterates - at least not all of it; not how they ended up here, anyways.

Yes, maybe this queasy feeling in her gut right now, the one squeezing her heart, is her own fault, because she didn't listen to her mother or Jughead - was pushy instead of patient and so damn naive to think she still knew Cheryl inside and out - Toni will cop to that much, but the rest of it?

She’s not the one that ghosted her best friend (maybe girlfriend) all summer and ripped her heart out without an explanation and certainly without an apology, that was Cheryl; she sure as hell didn't give the redhead a reason to do that, either.

So why has Toni spent two years being stuck in the past? Mooning over, and longing after, a version of a girl that doesn’t exist anymore? Forgiving her for something she hasn’t even apologized for or even explained yet, like she owes it to her?

_Because you know that wasn’t really her_, Toni’s gut says, or maybe her heart, and she does know that - _still_ \- even right now; but the feeling is a little weaker than it usually is.

Because maybe that wasn’t really who Cheryl was that afternoon years ago - maybe that was just an act - but maybe that’s who she is now. Or maybe she’s just perfected the role since.

It’s a lot of maybes, she knows, but those _maybes_ are what’s kept her from really dealing with what happened and how she feels about it; about Cheryl and what she did to her; about moving on.

_It’s not that easy_, she thinks and has thought for years, because with all those _maybes_ and unanswered questions, Toni always felt like it wasn’t fair to condemn her without seeing the whole picture first.

Because maybe it wasn’t Cheryl’s fault, either.

But one thing she does know for sure now - no _maybe_ about it - is that Jughead was right, and so was Cheryl, for that matter; Toni doesn’t know Cheryl anymore, she hasn’t got a clue.

(She wonders if Cheryl even knows.)

And _maybe_ now that she’s realized that, that the idealized, frozen in time, version of her best friend (maybe - _ugh_, that word again - girlfriend) that she's been clinging to, through memories, threaded bracelets, pink hair and text messages, is gone - now that it’s smacked her right in the face and forced her to listen to her head instead of her heart - she should finally make peace with it all and move on; accept that Cheryl, for whatever reason, just does not want to be her best friend (and certainly not her girlfriend) anymore.

But she knows she won’t move on, not ever, not _really _\- no matter how much angry internal ranting she finally allows herself to do - because the one thing she’d never do for Cheryl is give up on her.

Toni’s long overdue and emotional bout anger has dissipated by the time the lunch bell rings, but as brief as it was, it makes her feel a little bit lighter as she makes her way back towards the school.

She’s spent two years pushing that down - avoiding her anger and frustration at Cheryl and everything that’s happened - and it’s kept her from even beginning to make peace with it; it feels good to have finally let herself feel it, even if just a little bit.

Being angry at Cheryl, or at least at what she did, doesn’t mean she’s giving up on her or even moving on, it just means she’s looking beyond just the redhead, at least for now; she’s looking after herself and her feelings, instead.

It’s okay to be mad at Cheryl and the entire situation, even without all the pieces and answers - it doesn’t have to be eternal hatred or complete absolution - because that will never be all she feels for the other girl, no matter how much Cheryl tries to make it be.

They can come back from this, from all of this, if Cheryl ever wants them to; Toni doesn’t have to swallow her feelings to keep that door open - her feelings, all of them, are exactly what will keep it from ever closing entirely. She just needed to realize that Cheryl’s the only one that can push it open again.

And that’s enough for Toni.

Maybe not to move on, because she’d never, but to at least move forward.

“Topaz!” Sweet Pea calls out to her from across the cafeteria as soon as she enters, and Toni makes a beeline over to the table that the Serpents have commandeered to themselves.

She slips in beside Jughead and thanks him for bringing her stuff like she’d asked, and then just sits and lets herself get lost listening to her friends discuss their mornings.

It feels weird to be this relaxed and to be able to focus on something else again, but it’s like now that she’s gotten that first run in over with and gotten at least one answer, she can loosen up a little; because now she’s not wondering anymore; at least now she knows where she stands, even if it hurts.

“How’d you piss off the head mean girl already, Tiny?” Fangs asks with a laugh, but sounding impressed. “She looks like she’s trying to explode your head with her eyes.”

Toni doesn’t turn around to see for herself; the urge is still there, like an instinct, but it’s not as hard to fight as she thought it would be.

“Yeah, what was that about in class?” Sweet Pea wonders around a big bite of his burger. “Is that who you were talking about last night? The chick you know?”

“Used to,” Toni corrects with a shrug, ignoring the curious look she can feel Jughead giving from beside her. “We were BFFs. Without the second F, obviously.”

Fangs finally stops looking across the cafeteria long enough to raise an eyebrow at her. “You knew Cheryl Blossom?”

“_Blossom_?” the taller of the two knuckleheads asks, leaning over his friend to get another - completely unsubtle - look at the girl in question. “That’s the girl whose father killed her brother and then himself?”

“I heard it was really her,” Fangs interjects before anyone has a chance to confirm. “There’s this theory it was her and the mom is covering for her, like some real JonBenet Ramsey shit.”

Toni rolls her eyes while Jughead pauses mid-bite and looks grim while he answers, “Clifford Blossom did it,” he assures the other boy. “_Trust me_.” Fangs seems disappointed in this assurance, but drops the subject of Cheryl entirely in favor of starting a fight with Sweet Pea by stealing fries from his lunch tray. “You okay?” Jughead asks her, voice low and just for her once everyone else is distracted.

“Yeah,” Toni replies with a small smile, not sure if it’s entirely true, but confident enough that it’s not a lie. “I’m okay.”

Or, at least she’s trying to be.

As good of a job as Toni does not letting Cheryl occupy her every waking thought for the second half of the day, it turns out that’s a lot easier to do when she’s not around.

Because her new found progress hits a snag when the redhead strolls into her last period class with Josie by her side, and Toni’s chest still does that annoying thing where it aches, just a little.

Oh well, nobody ever said it would be easy, as Coldplay, or maybe the Friends theme song, once said.

It isn’t until class actually starts that Toni realizes that every key player in the little drama she’s been constructing in her head is here: herself and Cheryl, of course, but Josie, Jughead, Betty, Sweet Pea, Fangs and even Reggie fucking Mantle, too.

So, really, she doesn’t know why she’s so surprised when the predictable plot twist comes and the teacher informs the class of a paired project she’s assigning to promote unity between the South and North sides.

“Your partners will be assigned,” she explains, because of course they will be. “One of our new students with one of our old ones.” This just gets better and better, Toni thinks, and judging by the displeased chatter she hears around the room, this is one thing both sides can agree on.

“Come on, Mrs. Haggly-”

“Don’t even try it, Mr. Mantle,” the teacher cuts him off, barely even sparing him a glance. “When I assign you a partner, I expect you to sit with them for the remainder of class to start discussing your assignment, which is due next Monday; tomorrow is the only other class I will be giving you to work on it, so I suggest you work out times to meet with your partner outside of class this afternoon.”

_Of course, of course, of course._

“Gee, I wonder how this is gonna go,” Jughead mutters from beside her, no doubt thinking of blonde hair while she’s thinking of red.

“Now, for your partners,” the woman begins, looking down at the two lists in her hands. “Cheryl Blossom,” is the first name she calls, right at the top of the class list, and Toni waits for the inevitable. “And Forsythe Pendleton Jones III.”

Oh. _Well_.

Toni releases the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding and looks over at Jughead to see he looks as surprised as she feels, but also like he might have preferred his original assumption.

She offers him a sympathetic smile as he starts gathering his things to move towards Cheryl’s desk at the front of the class. “It’s just Jughead,” he informs the teacher solemnly as he does.

Toni is too busy watching Cheryl glare at Jughead to hear the next two partnerships announced, and when she hears her own name called and instinctively informs the teacher of her preferred nickname, she doesn’t realize who her partner is until she sees Betty Cooper standing up from her desk and making her way over to hers.

_Huh_, Toni thinks, considering, and she doesn’t miss the coincidence.

Well, it could be worse.

Like poor Fangs, who gets stuck with Reggie. Sweet Pea seems to luck out with Josie, who Toni doesn’t know at all - and if she’s anything like this new version of Cheryl is, well, maybe lucky isn’t the right word - but she’s not Reggie, so she thinks it’s safe to assume that he definitely made out better than Fangs.

“So,” Betty starts hesitantly, once all the pairs have been called and are making their own plans. “Is my place okay?”

“That’s cool,” Toni agrees easily, guessing that Betty doesn’t want to come to Sunnyside and risk running into Jughead. “Tomorrow after school?”

Betty doesn’t have any arguments.

By the time school lets out, Toni would swear she was there for a week instead of a day.

She feels like an entirely different person as she walks into her trailer than who she was when she left it this morning, but maybe she’s just been hanging around Jughead too long.

It’s in a good way, though, at least, so whatever.

Her uncle still isn’t home, so Toni turns her music way up and takes a nice long shower to unwind, and then calls her mother while she waits for her leftovers to heat up.

“I’m sorry it didn’t go how you wanted, bug,” her mother offers her sadly, and it’s obvious to Toni that it didn’t go the way she had wanted either.

“No, it’s okay,” she assures her, or maybe herself, because she’s still having her moments. “It is what it is. The ball’s in her court now, I guess.”

It always was, really, Toni realizes now; she’d just been trying to force Cheryl’s play.

Her mother hums on the other line, and then maybe sighs, but Toni’s not sure why. “Just remember to be patient with her,” she reiterates, and Toni feels it more today than she did yesterday.

“I know, Ma,” she promises, because she knows now that’s all she can do.

What will be will be, and what won’t might haunt her forever, but Toni’s learning to live with it.

She goes to bed early, physically and emotionally exhausted from the long day, and even though she dreams of Cheryl as usual, it’s more like she’s featured in them than the star of them this time.

Toni's not sure what difference that makes, but she finally sleeps through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really had trouble with some of Toni's internal dialogue and struggling because it's intentionally messy and all over the place and kind of contradictory, because that's where her head is at, so trying to convey that while still trying to make _some_ sense of it for readers was hard. Hopefully you kind of understand what she's feeling and why, but that's definitely not the end of it. Anyways, I hope you liked it, I'd _really_ like to hear what you think in the comments. You can also hit me up on Twitter (mylittlefaith) or Tumblr (cherbombshells).


	3. Two Steps Forward and Don't Look Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter, knowing what you're liking and thinking really helps!  
ii) This was originally the second half of last chapter, but I think it works better on its own.  
iii) Next chapter has been started, but will probably not be up as timely as this chapter, or even last, was.  
iv) A rule of thumb here: don't assume anything from S2 has happened if it hasn't been referenced yet (more on that after).  
v) Thanks to my friends for reading this over and letting me bounce things off them as usual.

Toni wakes up refreshed and does it all again the next day, but it’s a lot less eventful.

She sees Cheryl in both of her classes and at lunch - even a few times in the hallway - and while the longing isn’t gone, it’s dulled, at least, and it doesn’t fuck Toni up.

Jughead doesn’t seem to be doing as well as her though, because when the final bell rings and he asks her if she’s coming to the Wyrm with him and the other two goons, he gets all awkward when she says she can’t.

“I’m going to Betty’s place,” Toni reminds him, even though she’s not sure she actually ever told him. They’re partners though, and Jughead knows that, so it can’t be that much of a shock. “To work on our assignment…”

“Your history assignment, right,” he realizes, straddling his bike and squinting in the sun, looking across the parking lot at the blonde in question, who’s slowly making her way towards them. “I better go then.”

Toni laughs, and only feels a little bad for it. “Yeah, or else you might actually have to talk to her.”

Jughead shoots her a glare and the finger as he slips his helmet on and kicks the stand up under his foot, but he doesn’t say anything in retort before he’s driving off after Sweet Pea and Fangs, back home to the Southside.

She shakes her head as she watches him retreat, both understanding his avoidance but not getting it at the same time; he and Betty aren’t her and Cheryl though, so what does she know? It’s not like her own desperate need to talk to Cheryl had gone as planned, after all; even if it had been for the best in the end, anyways.

“Hey, Toni,” Betty greets her as she approaches, a hesitance in her voice that wasn’t there when they spoke in class today, but was the day before. “Are you still coming over?”

Toni nods and offers her a friendly smile, blindly reaching behind herself for the extra helmet clipped onto the back of her bike. “You want a ride?”

Betty visibly relaxes at the question - and the lack of ones about Jughead, probably - and holds her hands out, easily catching the helmet when Toni tosses it to her.

“Do you need directions?” she wonders as she slips onto the seat behind Toni.

Toni shakes her head and starts her bike, revving the engine so the students milling around in front of her will get out of the way.

“I remember the way.”

The Cooper house doesn’t seem to have changed much since the last time Toni had been there - which, she thinks, was probably Betty’s eighth grade Halloween party.

(She and Cheryl had worn Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy costumes, respectively - which yeah, in retrospect, wasn’t very subtle - and spent most of the night pressed close together on the couch, when they weren’t sneaking up to Polly’s empty room for the most G-rated “making out” imaginable.

Not that Toni’s thinking about any of that.)

Betty offers Toni a drink and a snack before they get started discussing their assignment, first narrowing down that topics they'd discussed in class to one they’re both interested in doing, and then dividing up who wants to do which parts.

Then, of course, the topic of discussion takes a predictable turn.

“So, have you talked to Cheryl yet?” Betty asks with all the tact of an elephant as she boots up her laptop, and it feels like Toni lost a standoff she didn’t even know she was in.

“Yeah, I caught her in the washroom yesterday,” Toni reluctantly reveals, and the look on her face tells the rest of that story.

Betty winces in sympathy. “Yeah, she’s… changed, huh?” It’s a rhetorical question, but Toni still makes a noise of agreement. “Believe it or not, she’s actually better now than she was before Jason died.” The thought of that makes Toni shiver a little. “I don’t know how much you know, but she went through _a lot_ last year - more than just the obvious - and it brought her back down to earth a little bit. She still has her moments, but _Cousin Betty_ is definitely better than being called a cow.”

After two years of only hearing speculations and rumors about Cheryl, and then Jughead’s opinion on her, it’s refreshing and a bit reassuring for Toni to get a softer, more sympathetic take on the redhead; it’s one that feels closer to the girl she grew up loving. It gives her a little bit of hope, that maybe the version of Cheryl she met in the washroom isn't who she is now, either; that maybe the real version exists somewhere in between the two.

But then the rest of Betty’s words catch up to her. “Wait, since when are you guys cousins?”

“We actually just found that out last year,” the other girl shares hesitantly, and it’s obvious there’s a long story there.

And when Toni takes a second to connect all the branches of that tree, she has a pretty good guess. “But weren’t Polly and Jason a thing?” This time, it’s Betty’s face that tells a story. “Oh, wow.”

Toni manages to bite back her own laughter until Betty’s bubbles up and then they both break, cracking up at something that’s more sad than funny, but that’s life in Riverdale.

By the time Alice comes home an hour later, they’re actually working.

“Elizabeth! Why is there a motorcycle in my driveway?!” she calls out as soon as she’s got the door open. “I thought you broke up with that boy?”

“_Mom_,” Betty warns her, forcing the word out through the side of her mouth, her eyes moving from her mother to the other girl sitting at the kitchen table with her.

Alice’s purposeful steps come to a halt as she finally looks up from her phone to see that Betty isn’t alone. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we had company.” She offers Toni a generic smile that looks a little fake, until her face falls in recognition. “Antoinette Topaz, is that you?”

“Hi, Mrs. Cooper,” Toni offers with an awkward wave, trying to keep her face neutral as she looks up at the older woman who, really, pushed the first domino all those years ago.

She’s never really been who Toni’s placed much of the blame on - mostly because she hasn’t given her much thought - but now, being in front of her after all this time, she can’t help feeling a little bit of bitterness.

Alice’s mind clearly goes to the same place, judging by the way she nervously handles the phone in her hand. “Well, this is a surprise,” she eventually says, even faker than before. “Betty never mentioned you were coming by today.”

“I’m sorry,” Betty says lowly, to Toni, picking up on the obvious passive aggression. She turns to her mother. “I told you I was having someone over to work on a project. _Remember_, Mom?”

“Yes, but you didn’t tell me who it was,” Alice replies in exasperation, and even though Toni feels some type of way about the woman, she can’t help but smirk at the back and forth between mother and daughter, finding it achingly familiar. “Toni, how are you?”

Thrown by the attention being back on her, she quickly decides to take the high road instead of giving the snide answer she’s dying to give. “Can’t complain.”

Alice nods and then there’s a pause, and Toni waits, looking right at her, almost daring her to ask the next expected and polite question, that a respected, well mannered woman like Alice Cooper should feel obligated to ask.

“And your mother?” she eventually gives in, trying to sound casual, but coming off anything but. “How is she?”

Toni can’t bring herself to do it again. “Living in Centerville right now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she had to move there for work,” she continues pointedly, enjoying seeing the older woman squirm. “She’s a photojournalist over there; it was the only place she could get a photog gig.”

A look passes over Alice’s face, one that looks like guilt, yeah, but something else, too. Toni can’t place it, and a glance at Betty tells her that she notices something is off as well. Alice opens her mouth, grip on her phone tightening, like she’s bracing herself for what she’s going to say, but then-

“Well, I’m glad to hear she landed on her feet.” Nothing really happens. “You girls keep working, I’ll be upstairs.”

With that, she's gone almost as fast as she arrived, leaving the two teens alone again.

“I’m sorry about her,” Betty sighs, like she’s used to having to apologize for her mother.

“Don’t worry about it,” Toni waves her off, because she’ll do enough of that for the both of them.

Toni leaves before dinner and after making a plan to meet up with Betty again sometime later in the week.

All things considered, it went okay; only a brief mention of Cheryl, no talk of Jughead, and Alice never made a reappearance.

Betty isn’t someone she’s just seeing again for the first time in years like most other Northsiders, but things still could’ve been weird, given the _Jughead_ of it all, but it had been fine.

It didn’t feel like it used to, of course, because it isn’t, but for the first time, it feels like maybe it could feel something like it one day.

Later, when Toni’s alone in her trailer and texting her mother while she’s getting ready for her shift at the Wyrm, she finally takes the time to think about her brief conversation with Alice.

She doesn’t tell her mother about it, because it’s a sore subject from a dark time, but she wants to. Toni wants to tell her because she needs to talk about that _look _Alice got and she can’t talk to Jughead about it and Sweet Pea and Fangs have no stake in any of this, and the last thing she needs is something new to over-analyze.

_Alice was just going to apologize_, she eventually tries to convince herself, after her mind’s run wild in a few different directions.

She was going to apologize, because Toni had given her the opening, but she didn’t want to dig up old shit and make it awkward by speaking about it directly - she was just smart enough not to make the same mistake Toni had yesterday.

It makes sense, and it’s human; relatable in a way that’s shitty, but realistic, and doesn’t make Toni feel like she’s falling back into old habits, or like she’s Jughead, coming up with wild conspiracy theories when there’s simple ones right in front of her.

So, she goes with that and forgets all about Alice Cooper and her weird looks by the time she pours her first drink.

The boys drop by later, a little over half way through her shift, and spend a good hour discussing their own history assignments. Or, at least their partners.

(Well, Jughead doesn’t talk about his, probably thinking he’s doing it for her, when really it’s because he thinks if he doesn’t mention Cheryl, then she won’t mention Betty, and he would be right.)

Fangs, predictably, hates his life; Reggie is every bit the asshole he showed himself to be their first minute at Riverdale High, and of course he’s an idiot, too.

Sweet Pea, in a more surprising turn of events, seems pleased with his partnership so far. Toni might even say he’s smitten, the way he gushes about Josie.

She shares a look with the other two boys as the tallest one regales them all with the story of how Josie came up with their _absolutely sick_ project idea, and finds they’re both equally as amused as she is.

“Someone has a crush,” Toni teases him when he’s done, tossing the washcloth she’s been wiping the bar down with over her shoulder and leveling him with a grin.

Sweet Pea looks thrown by the accusation at first - like he hadn’t even realized it himself until that moment - and then he quickly starts sputtering his denials. “What, no, what? No! I-I don’t!”

Fangs laughs and slaps him on the back. “Uh huh, so when’s the wedding? I call best man.”

“She’s just cool,” Sweet Pea insists indignantly, pushing Fangs away from him and grabbing his beer. “Y'know, for a Northsider.”

The three of them share another look; none of them believe him, but none of them push him, either. Sweet Pea’s funny when he’s grumpy, but they’re all good enough friends to know when to leave things alone.

Toni just smiles at him, soft instead of teasing, glad that at least one of her boys seems happy. Even if it’s because of a girl that somehow - irrationally, she knows - feels like competition.

When Toni finally meets Josie, though, she finds it hard to resent her.

Their lockers are apparently beside each other, which she discovers when she finally gets sick of carrying around all her books all day and decides to actually use hers.

(Most people didn’t really use theirs at Southside High - shitty locks and even shittier people, and all that.)

She’s having trouble getting the door to open when Josie approaches, easily opening her own and then watching Toni struggle for a few moments longer before she finally takes pity on her.

“Here, let me,” Josie laughs, gently nudging the shorter girl aside and taking over. “There’s a trick to it. You gotta push _here_,” she explains, pressing where it’s needed. “And then pull up hard as you’re opening it and…” The door pops open. “Voila.”

Toni whistles in approval, waiting until Josie has moved back to her own locker before she starts pulling her books out of her bag. “Thanks for the tip.”

“Yeah, no sweat,” the other girl assures her. “They’ve been messed up since Reggie Mantle and Chuck Clayton body slammed Dilton Doiley into them back in September.”

“Boys,” Toni scoffs as she stacks her books, just now noticing the obvious dents in the steel door.

“_Assholes_,” Josie corrects with a scoff of her own, and it’s then that Toni decides she likes her. “I’m Josie McCoy, by the way. Of the Pussycats.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I’m Toni Topaz,” she replies with a matching smile, shaking the hand offered to her. “Of the Serpents.”

Josie’s smile doesn’t slip or falter at all at the introduction. “I can see that,” she teases, releasing her hand to pinch the sleeve of the leather jacket she’s wearing. “And I’ve seen you hanging around Sweet Pea a lot.”

Toni tries to gauge her tone at the mention of her friend, but Josie isn’t as easy to read as Sweet Pea had been last night. She considers pushing it a little by name dropping him again, to get some info for him - even though she knows he’d just huff and puff in denial - but decides to let it drop instead.

She’s gone back to loading up her locker when a familiar voice calls the other girl’s name and before she knows it, they’re suddenly joined by a third party.

“Are you ready to skedaddle?” Cheryl asks Josie once she’s at her side, and judging by the lack of insults immediately raining down on her, Toni can only assume the redhead hasn’t noticed her yet. “T.G.I. Thursdays waits for no woman, no matter how fabulous.”

It’s strange to hear Cheryl speak with no hostility, and even nicely too, and as Josie answers, Toni considers her options: she can stay hidden and hope to avoid another confrontation with her ex-best friend (maybe ex-girlfriend) or she can reveal herself and face it head on, see which version of Cheryl she gets when things aren't personal.

She decides to go for the latter without overthinking it, because now that the girl is just a foot away from her, she can’t pretend that keeping her distance since their showdown hasn’t been hard, and something inside of her just can’t pass up the opportunity to talk to Cheryl again, even if it’s just to trade insults. Plus, she has a buffer this time, at least, or maybe a witness, so.

“Guess my invite got lost in the mail,” Toni interjects as she shuts her locker door to reveal herself, and she offers the newest arrival a grin so innocent it hurts her teeth.

The easy smile on Cheryl’s face immediately falls at the sight of the Serpent, and Toni can literally see her guard come up as her head bitch facade shifts into place.

It would almost be comical, if it wasn’t so sad.

“Josie, what are you doing with a _Serpent_?” Cheryl immediately demands of her friend, ignoring Toni even though she’s talking about her.

“I have no say in who gets assigned the locker next to mine, Cheryl,” Josie sighs while rolling her eyes, but there’s an obvious fondness there, exasperated as it may be. “Girl, will you relax? She’s cool and I was just helping her get her locker open.”

Cheryl looks like her head is about to explode as she looks at Josie petulantly, but the way she doesn’t reem her friend out and instead directs her ire towards the Southsider, tells Toni that Josie is probably the only person in school that could get away with talking to Cheryl like that.

“And what exactly did she need your assistance with?” she wonders rhetorically, leveling Toni was a glare. “Did they not allow you to have doors on your lockers at Southside High? An effort to make the weekly Jingle Jangle raids easier for our bumbling and incompetent officers in unflattering headwear?”

The words are mean, obviously, but in a kind of generic way; there’s no real bite to them like there was the last time they spoke - they don’t feel personal, and not just because Josie is present. Honestly, they almost make Toni laugh.

But she settles for a smirk. “Oh, you know, us Southsiders are just so_ dumb_, we don’t even know how to open locker doors,” she plays along, lips pulling up further when Josie’s do. “I was trying to push when I was supposed to pull. Thank God Josie showed up to walk me through the complicated process.”

Cheryl makes a big show of rolling her eyes. “_Cute_,” she says with sarcasm and a tight smile before she flips her hair and turns back to her friend. “Come on, Josie,” she continues pointedly, looping her arm through the other girl’s and tugging her away. “Let’s go to lunch before we catch something.”

“Bye, Toni,” Josie offers with a laugh and a friendly wave, not letting Cheryl’s overbearing attitude affect the way she treats her, even as she lets herself be dragged away.

Toni watches them disappear down the hallway, charmed by Josie, amused by Cheryl, and strangely optimistic about the entire encounter.

Something’s changed, and not just with her - with Cheryl, too.

It’s not the kind of relationship Toni had been hoping to have with the redhead when they got thrown back together, but if this is what Cheryl is willing to give, it’s better than not having one with her at all.

It’s something; it’s a start.

*

By the time her first week at Riverdale High winds down, her dynamic with Cheryl isn’t the only one that’s shifted.

Sweet Pea stops denying his crush on Josie, Reggie and his fellow dogs actually manage to go a whole day without trying to start a fight with one of the Serpents, and most notably, Jughead and Betty finally get over themselves.

Toni doesn’t know all the details - at least not yet - she just notices the little smiles and interactions they share throughout the day, and finds them talking outside the girls locker room on her way out to the parking lot after the final bell.

She could leave them be, but that doesn’t sound like any fun at all.

“Well, well, well,” Toni taunts as she approaches them, smile widening when they both immediately jump at her voice and turn to look at her; Betty blushing while Jughead glares. “Do my eyes deceive me or are you two finally talking to each other? Your mouths are moving, words seem to be coming out...”

“Hi, Toni,” Betty mumbles, cheeks pink like she just got caught doing something much more R-rated than they were. The modesty doesn’t match the stories Jughead has told her, but somehow, it doesn’t feel feigned either.

Toni nods in greeting before looking expectantly at Jughead, as if she’s waiting for him to explain everything right then and there, but before he can even open his mouth to tell her to get lost, Cheryl’s suddenly beating him to the punch.

“Okay, you greasers, leave little Sandy alone,” she chastises them as she approaches, Josie and a couple girls Toni doesn’t know flanking her. “Go sing all about it out on the bleachers and let me have all my Vixens for practice.”

The speed in which Jughead’s annoyance shifts from her to Cheryl is hilarious, but Toni barely spares him a glance as her own attention shifts, too.

“I always saw myself as more of a Rizzo,” Toni shares after a moment of faux contemplation, unable to resist playing along with Cheryl again.

They’ve had a couple more run-ins since the one at her locker the other day, and each one has been more fun than the last.

The taller girl scoffs. “Please,” she drawls, giving her a quick once over. “You’re a Cha-Cha at best.”

“There are worse things,” she quips back, pleased with herself when Cheryl looks momentarily impressed before she’s masking it and stalking forward, pushing her and Jughead out of the way to clear a path for her squad.

“Say goodbye, cousin,” she instructs Betty as she passes, not noticing the wave Josie sends Toni as she follows behind her.

The blonde smiles, silently apologizing for Cheryl’s behavior, and reaches out to touch Jughead’s arm. “Bye, Jug,” she says softly, squeezing gently before releasing her hold and turning to Toni. “I’ll text you later about meeting up again tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure,” she nods, gaze moving to watch Jughead watch her walk away.

He keeps staring after her, even after the door completely closes, and fights a smile when Toni nudges him. “_Don’t_.”

Toni laughs and follows after him, pestering him for details she’s not even that interested in as they go.

He doesn’t share them until later that night, when they meet up with Sweet Pea at the Whyte Wyrm.

Fangs is still on the Northside trying to make up for lost time with Reggie and Toni isn’t working, so the three of them have commandeered a table in the corner to hang out.

Jughead fills them in on the how, why and when of Betty approaching him earlier in the day, and it’s about as exciting as she figured it would be, but she’s not as rude about it as Sweet Pea is.

“Who cares about you and Ponytail?” he complains with a groan. “I wanna talk about how Josie is coming over to my place tomorrow night.”

Jughead looks mildly offended, so Toni tries not to make it too obvious that she kind of agrees with the other boy.

But as she listens to another friend gush about a girl and detail every tiny bit of progress they’ve made, Toni finds herself yearning to do the same.

She _could_ tell them, she supposes, at least some of it; they know she has a history with Cheryl - even if they, like everyone, don’t know the full scale of it - so it’s not like the whole thing is some big secret, but…

For some reason, when Sweet Pea finally finishes babbling about Josie, and she has an opening, Toni opts to share the details of the fight she witnessed between Moose and Midge in the student lounge that day, instead of the tiny thrill she got from simply exchanging bitchy banter with Cheryl earlier.

(_Embarrassment_, Toni thinks; the reason is because it’s embarrassing.

But then again, look who she’s talking to.)

Toni doesn’t tell her mother when she calls her later that night, either.

She asks, of course, because she’s more invested than anyone else that’s not Toni, but all she tells her is that things are _better_.

Which they are, Toni’s certainly not lying, and maybe that’s why she wants to leave it at that.

Maybe the embarrassment wasn’t really what kept Toni from sharing tonight, but the expectations.

Talking leads to wondering and wondering leads to expectations and expectations only lead to disappointment and pain.

Toni went into this week expecting too many things and too many answers, even though she tried to pretend she wasn't; she’s content to finish it with neither.

_What will be will be_, she reminds herself, and she doesn’t have much trouble sleeping.

But unfortunately for her, what _will be_ come Saturday, is Jake’s return.

Toni doesn’t see or hear from him, just comes home from Betty’s house to find her uncle’s bike parked in its usual spot outside their trailer.

“Great,” she mumbles to herself as soon as she sees it, parking her own bike and dismounting it. She pockets her keys and cautiously makes her way up the steps.

It’s not that she’s afraid of the guy - he’s an asshole, but not one that would actually hurt her, not physically anyways, and whatever he has to say to her isn’t anything she hasn’t heard before - but her life is just so much easier when he’s not around.

Case in point, when Toni opens the door, it gives only an inch before it locks in place.

“Come on, Jake!” she shouts through the slim opening, rattling the chain keeping her out. “Can I least get some clothes?” She’s met with silence, like always, even though she’s sure he’s just sitting on the couch and drinking a beer like the useless asshole he is. “You’re such a fucking prick!”

Toni kicks the door once for good measure before stomping back down the stairs and pulling out her phone to consider her options.

It’s not like she doesn’t have an unlimited amount of couches open to her - and the backroom of the Whyte Wyrm if she's really desperate - but she does have a limited amount of humility, and she hates having to rely on people too much or too often.

(Thanks, Ma.)

Still, she sucks it up, scrolls down to Sweet Pea’s name and tries him first.

An hour later, despite making a half dozen calls, Toni finds herself standing outside of Jughead’s trailer, just like the last time her uncle locked her out.

For some reason, crashing at Jughead’s makes her feel a little less like a burden than when she goes stays anywhere else - maybe because it feels just as much like keeping him company as it does asking for a favor. His dad’s still in prison and he’s barely just speaking to Betty again, and he’s as lonely as she is, sometimes.

Except tonight, when she knocks and Jughead answers, he’s obviously not alone. He’s acting skittish, only opening the door partially and glancing behind himself; keeping her outside.

“Of course you can stay,” he assures her, putting his body between Toni and her view of the rest of his trailer. “Just come back in like a half an hour, okay?”

“Why are you acting so weird?” Toni laughs, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting for her friend to invite her in. “You got someone in there? Because I just came from Betty’s, so unless she-”

“Tell whichever one of your little reptile chums is at your door to depart and return again only once I’ve decamped,” a voice calls from inside the trailer, so annoyed and snobby that it can only belong to one person. “I’d very much like to get this done A-SAP, so I can retire back to the questionable safety of Thistlehouse and forget this entire hellish excursion.”

_Cheryl_.

She’s just showing up everywhere lately.

Jughead cringes at the voice and shuts his eyes for a moment; opens the door and steps aside. “Or you can come in now, I guess,” he sighs, waiting until Toni cautiously steps past him before he closes the door behind her. “Just let us finish up and the couch is all yours.”

As she’s ushered inside, Toni’s eyes immediately find Cheryl on Jughead’s couch, history books spread out in front of her while she sits nice and proper on the edge, like she’s allergic to the fabric; she looks entirely out of place. Which is fair, since Jughead’s trailer is pretty much the last place Toni would ever expect to run into Cheryl Blossom.

What’s funny, though, is that the red haired girl might look even more surprised to see Toni there, somehow.

“And what do we have here?” Cheryl inquires, eyebrow arched and a glint in her eyes that Toni can see from across the room, and maybe something else passing on her face, too. “A mid-evening booty call? Should I be affronted on my dear cousin’s behalf?”

“What? Ew, no, I-” Toni immediately starts to protest, but then bites her lip before she finishes; stops to consider. No part of her wants to tell Cheryl this, but even less of her wants Cheryl to think that’s even remotely true. “Jake - my Uncle Jake - he locks me out of our trailer sometimes,” she reluctantly admits, a nervous hand gripping the back of her neck, unable to look at the other girl as she shares something so personal with her - gives her more ammunition against her. “I’m just here to crash until he gets over whatever crawled up his ass this time.”

Things are silent after - painfully and awkwardly - while Cheryl processes and Toni and Jughead wait for whatever she’ll say once she’s done.

Toni worries and regrets, shifting her weight as she’s suddenly wondering if she’s just tipped the scales on the brand new, and extremely delicate, balance they’ve recently settled into by making things personal again, but Jughead settles her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh,” is all Cheryl says at first, when she finally speaks, quietly and almost to herself. It’s the first time Toni’s seen this version of her at a loss for words, but it’s more than that; it’s more like she’s struggling with which version of herself to be in this moment, or how much of either to show. Then, a moment later, she’s clearing her throat and gathering her bearings. “Well, okay,” she says with a nod, attempting to sound friendly, maybe. “We shan't be long.”

Toni relaxes, relieved, and feels kind of bad for expecting the worst of Cheryl, but in her defense, the girl hasn’t given her much reason to expect much else, so.

Still, it’s another nice little bit of hope to add to the slowly growing pile to help her sleep tonight.

“Yeah, no rush,” Toni shrugs, playing it cool, and turning away from Cheryl like it’s easy. “You mind if I grab something to eat?”

Jughead shakes his head, and Toni can feel two sets of eyes following her as she leaves.

Toni lets them work in private for what ends up being another hour, busying herself with her phone in the kitchen while listening to Jughead and Cheryl bicker in the living room. She has no idea how they actually get any work done between trading insults, but it definitely ends up being more entertaining than her Instagram feed.

She must tune them out at some point though, because one minute Cheryl is calling Jughead an_ insufferable wannabe scholar with a hideous beanie _and the next she’s standing in front of her, fingers tangled up in the sleeves of her blood red shirt.

“The couch has been vacated,” the redhead tells her, voice dangerously close to kind; it throws Toni off.

“Oh, thanks,” she replies quickly, leaning forward so all four legs of the chair she’s been lounging in are back on the floor. When Cheryl continues to stand there, like she has more to say even though she doesn’t offer anything else, Toni searches for something to say to keep the conversation going herself. “How’d you get here, anyways? I didn’t notice your car outside.”

“As if I’d bring my expensive car to this lawless land and leave it unattended for any length of time,” Cheryl scoffs, answer quick like she can’t stop herself, and_ there she is_; Toni doesn’t take it personally. She seems to catch herself, though, because her follow up is less insulting. “I came with Josie, who’s with your tall friend.”

Well, that explains why Sweet Pea ignored her text earlier, that had totally slipped her mind. “Ah,” is all Toni says, because she can’t quite read this situation and she doesn’t know what to do with this Cheryl, at least not with Jughead in the next room.

It’s weird and nice, having a civil conversation with the girl that used to be her best friend (maybe girlfriend), but she doesn’t know how she feels about it only happening because of pity, or whatever this is.

Part of her is relieved to see Cheryl is still capable of empathy - to finally see the version of the girl that Betty had alluded to, and that she’s sure Josie gets to see all the time - but the other part of her - her pride, of course - isn’t sure it’s worth it.

“I really should be going,” Cheryl says after the silence has stretched on for too long, like it’s something she’s telling herself, and it pulls Toni from her overthinking. “I texted her we were finished and she must be waiting by now.”

Despite the slight unease, Toni’s disappointed the conversation is ending so soon. “Oh, okay.”

Cheryl nods, turning on her heels, but then stops before she’s all the way around. “Toni, I…” she begins suddenly, but cuts herself off just as fast.

She stands there, lip between her teeth, and a whole debate going on behind her eyes. It reminds Toni of that moment with Alice.

“Yeah?” Toni encourages her softly, leaning forward in her chair while giving her a slight nudge; she doesn’t want anything more to have to wonder about.

“Your hair,” Cheryl eventually blurts out, gaze finding hers hesitantly. “I don’t believe I’ve mentioned it, but it looks nice.”

It’s about the last thing Toni expected to hear, and while she doubts that’s what Cheryl had originally intended to say, it somehow doesn’t feel like a total cop out, either.

She offers the redhead a smile as she pulls a few strands between her fingers, thinking of the day she dyed it and why; threaded bracelet the same color still wrapped tight around her exposed wrist. “You always did like me in pink, didn’t you?”

Cheryl returns her smile before she can stop herself, but then she catches it and it drops, just a fraction but enough for it to turn forced before she quickly makes her exit, leaving Toni alone once again.

“I’m sorry about that,” is the first thing Jughead says to Toni when she finally joins him in the living room a few minutes later. “I wasn’t sure if I should mention it last night, I know Cheryl’s a touchy subject.”

She waves him off as she drops down onto the couch beside him. “It’s cool, I’m fine talking about her now,” she shrugs. “She was actually kinda nice, for Cheryl.” Jughead snorts in obvious disagreement, but doesn’t argue. “What was she even doing here? How the hell did you get her to come to the Southside?”

“She insisted, actually,” he answers, reaching up to pull his beanie off and run a tired hand through his hair. “She refused to be seen at school or in public with me and she said Thistlehouse was out of the question, so that left us with here.”

Toni can’t help but laugh at the clear annoyance in his voice, the one that’s always present when he’s talking about the redhead. “It’s not all bad,” she teases him. “Now you can say you spent Saturday night with _the_ Cheryl Blossom.”

Jughead looks ready to gag at the implication, but plays along. “You’re right, what an honor,” he deadpans, lolling his head to the side to give Toni a stare as dead as his delivery. “Notoriously single Cheryl ‘Bombshell’ Blossom, electing to spend her Saturday night in _my_ trailer. I’m sure that’ll score me big points with the football team.”

He’s obviously joking and Toni laughs, a little, but naturally, her mind zeros in on one thing he says, and she tries not to be too obvious when she asks, “She doesn’t date a lot?”

“At all,” Jughead corrects her, seemingly not thinking anything of the question; he might not know about their whole history, but he knows enough to not be surprised Toni might be interested in her former best friend’s dating history.

Toni’s more than a little surprised by the answer, though. “Really?”

“Archie said she kissed him once, and I think I saw her making out with Moose when she was drunk at my birthday party last year, but that’s all I’ve ever heard about,” he elaborates with a shrug, shifting up in his seat so he’s sitting up a little straighter. “I’ve got this theory that her specific species of demons don’t need to mate to breed, they just multiply, like mitosis.”

She laughs, partly because of how seriously he says it, but mostly because of what she knows that he doesn’t.

But once Toni stops laughing, she starts thinking about everything _she_ doesn’t know, either.

She’s been good and she doesn’t want to slip back into old habits, but as she lays on Jughead’s couch later that night, it’s really hard not to.

Toni’s already spent too much time and energy over the past two years wondering, going over every possible reason Cheryl would have had to do what she did to her - any other possible reason that wasn’t the one staring her in the face, anyways.

She never wanted to believe Cheryl’s feelings for her could change just because of where she lived, that just didn’t seem possible, but what else could it be?

Up until now, Toni’s main alternative theory had been about Cheryl’s sexuality - genuinely questioning it, trouble accepting it, fear of others finding out - take your pick, they all made more sense to Toni than her new address.

Toni knows she’s bisexual, now, but she didn’t always; it came after she and Cheryl were long over, when she was forced to figure out who she was beyond her best friend (maybe girlfriend), and discover who she _liked_, instead of just who she loved.

She’s always wondered if Cheryl ever did the same and how, and more importantly, with whom.

Because they never really talked about that when they were together - what they were or what being together meant for either of them; they just knew they loved each other and it felt right and that was enough. The only reason they kept it a secret was because of Penelope, who hated anything that made Cheryl happy.

But maybe that changed while she was away at camp - away from Toni and the blissful bubble they’d been hiding in together - and whatever it was and however it happened, was enough to scare Cheryl away.

Maybe someone said something to her or she met a boy or…

Toni’s thought of it all, she’s sure, and she’s always wondered who came after her, and now that she knows it’s been nobody - at least nobody that anyone knows about - she’s wondering what that means.

Just more questions to add to the never ending list.

*

Sunday comes and goes, and Monday is slow.

Fangs spends most of the day trying to get his assignment done, while Jughead texts Betty and Sweet Pea whines about Josie turning him down on Saturday night; Toni mostly just make fun of them.

“It’s not funny, Tiny,” he mumbles, throwing a french fry at her from across the cafeteria table.

Toni catches it easily and pops it into her mouth. “What did you expect, Sweets? I know she’s cool, but she’s still a Northsider.” Jughead makes a noise of protest, and she waves him off. “You and Betty broke up because you joined the Serpents, don’t even start.”

“But it’s not even that she doesn’t wanna date a Serpent,” Fangs adds from his friend’s side, barely looking up from the laptop that’s being held together by duct tape. “Just ask her, man.”

Sweet Pea sighs, his annoyance at Toni fading as he eyes her hesitantly. “What?”

“Look, I don’t know what went down with you and Big Red, so I don’t know how much of a dick move it is to ask you this,” he starts, talking more with his hands than he usually does and Toni raises an eyebrow, waiting for him to spit out. “But when I asked Josie out, she said she couldn't do that to Cheryl, like date a Serpent, because of the whole Jason Blossom thing.”

“Okay...?” Toni replies, drawing the word out as she attempts to push the image of Cheryl’s face in that washroom out of her mind and tries to figure out what this has to do with her, beyond the Cheryl aspect of it all.

Sweet Pea glances at Fangs, who nudges him and gives him an encouraging nod, before he turns back to Toni and already starts wincing before he even asks, “So I was wondering if you could maybe talk to Cheryl about it? Get her to give Josie the go ahead or something?”

Ah, yes, of course. She really should have seen this coming the second Sweet Pea started mooning over Cheryl’s best friend (she’s assuming not girlfriend, but you never know).

(And yes, it does sting to acknowledge that’s what Josie is to Cheryl, but now is not the time to pick at _that_ particular wound.)

“Sweets,” Toni sighs, her whine rivaling his, but he’s giving her puppy dog eyes and if she’s honest, she’s never seen him this into a girl before, and Cheryl had been pretty nice last they spoke and, “Fine, okay!” she relents, so quickly it’s kind of pathetic. But what else is new? “I’ll _try_. But I wouldn’t expect much if I were you.”

“Yes, yes, thank you, Tiny!” Sweet Pea beams, leaning his obnoxiously large body over the table to try to pull her into an awkward hug while she laughs and tries to push him off. “You’re the best.”

Toni questions her promise almost immediately, but it isn’t until last period that she actually starts regretting it.

She’s sitting with Betty, giving their assignment one last read through before they have to hand it in, when Cheryl comes over to talk to her cousin about something - probably Vixens practice - and doesn’t have a snarky greeting for her.

Toni tries pushing her luck and offers her a simple, “Hey, Cheryl,” to see where they stand after the weekend.

The redhead looks a little caught off guard - like maybe she’s surprised Toni isn’t being snarky either - before she covers it swiftly and sends her smile; one that’s barely there, but genuine all the same.

“Hello, Toni,” she replies simply, holding her gaze for a moment longer before turning her attention back to Betty.

It’s such a ridiculously small thing, Toni acknowledges that, but it doesn't feel like it; it feels big.

"I see you all survived," Mrs. Haggly teases as she walks into the classroom with a bright smile, way too chipper for a Monday, but Toni grows one of her own when Cheryl gives both her and Betty a wave farewell before she makes her way back to her desk as class begins.

"Fogarty almost didn't," Reggie can't help but interject, like always, but when Fangs actually laughs along with him and it's made obvious that it's merely a joke, the teacher doesn't bother reprimanding him, just smiles.

"So, what does everyone think then?" she wonders, hands clasped together like they're in prayer as her eyes drifting over all of her students. "Are we a step closer to world peace? Some progress was made, at least?"

A chorus of begrudging agreement rings out across the room, but it isn't until Toni catches Cheryl sneaking a glance her way that she feels the need to voice her own.

She leaves school that day without talking to Cheryl again, much to Sweet Pea’s chagrin, but she needs time to reconsider her decision.

Because things with Cheryl are… not _good_, but they’re okay, now, and could maybe even be on their way to _good_, and doing this for Sweet Pea - even daring to utter Jason’s name to her again - might just undo all of that.

But a promise is a promise and Sweet Pea is Sweet Pea - if she’s willing to die for her Serpent brother, surely she should be willing to do _this_.

(Though yes, maybe Toni once thought she’d rather die than lose Cheryl forever and yes, maybe that wasn’t that long ago, but Jughead and Cheryl aren't the only ones with a flare for the dramatics, so.

She’s still gonna do it.)

Toni finds her in the library during her free period - Cheryl’s, not hers; _she’s _supposed to be in biology right now - the next day, and approaches her before she can psych herself out.

“Fancy meeting you here,” she sing-songs as she slides into the empty chair adjacent to her, even though it’s no coincidence at all. Cheryl jumps a little at her sudden arrival, but doesn’t do much else once she realizes who her company is.

“I have a 4.0 GPA I work hard for, of course I’m here,” the redhead drawls, pressing the end of her pen to her chin as she looks over at the other girl. “You on the other hand-”

“Am a dirty gangbanger from the slums of Riverdale, who probably spends more time stabbing people than reading books?” Toni guesses, making a face to convey the proper level of cheekiness she’s striving for.

“-Are a natural academic, if my memory serves me correctly,” Cheryl finishes her thought, mirroring Toni’s face well. It’s the first time she’s actually acknowledged their past. “You really shouldn’t speak so negatively about yourself.”

Toni lets out a light laugh as she turns her body to rest her arms on the library table. “Sorry, guess I’ve just gotten used to the bitchy banter.”

“I can insult your boots, if you’re disappointed,” Cheryl offers her, fighting a smile.

“No, no,” the Southsider insists, her own smile fading a bit as she rubs the back of her neck. “No, uh, you might want to save up your insults until after I ask you what I came here to ask.”

“Sounds ominous,” the red haired girl notes, and Toni swears she can actually see her guard start to go up right in front of her eyes. “Go on.”

This is her last chance to back out - and fuck, is she tempted, because things were going well - but she’s already made her decision, and her promise, so she surges forward.

“Okay, so Sweet Pea - the tall one - he has a thing for Josie,” Toni begins.

“So I’ve noticed,” Cheryl agrees.

“And he asked her out on Saturday night,” the shorter girl continues, not sure how much Cheryl knows; something tells her Josie didn’t share that info, though. “But she said no, because of you.”

Cheryl raises an eyebrow, more surprised than intrigued. “Me?” she wonders, and there’s something in her voice that her face isn’t giving away, but Toni can’t figure it out. “What on earth do _I_ have to do with the matter?”

“She said she couldn’t do that to you - y’know, date a Serpent - because of the whole…” Jason’s name catches in her throat as the scene in the washroom flashes in her mind. “Because of what happened last year.”

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for recognition to flash in brown eyes. “Oh.”

And just like that, Cheryl’s guard comes down, just a little bit - which feels ironic, since it was this very topic that caused it to harden the first time she mentioned it - so Toni moves quickly.

“Yeah, so look - I’m only here because Sweet Pea _begged_ me to talk to you, to see if I could get you to, I don’t know, give Josie your blessing or something,” she explains in a rush, carefully watching the other girl’s face. “And I only agreed because he’s really annoying, but also because I’ve never seen him this into a girl before, and I thought I’d give it a shot.” Toni finishes it all in what feels like one breath, and she keeps eying Cheryl apprehensively, trying to gauge her reaction. When she can’t read it, she leans back to shoot her leg out in repentance. “Okay, insult away; they’re secondhand and half a size too big, if that helps.”

Cheryl’s quiet for painfully long moments, her eyes looking past Toni and seemingly ignoring her attempt at lightening the mood until they finally find the girl in front of her again.

“I didn’t realize - about Josie, not the boots, that much was obvious,” is what she says first, and Toni fights a laugh as she drops her foot back to the ground. Cheryl shakes her head, probably to get the rush of memories out, before continuing. “I must admit, she seems a little smitten with him too, for reasons beyond my understanding. But I don’t know if I can get aboard that ship.”

“Why not?” Toni questions, though she can take a guess. And she hesitantly does; “I was telling the truth when I said I didn’t know about-” She still can’t get that name out, not after the last time. “He didn’t either. That was Mustang’s whole thing, I swear.”

“It’s not about that,” Cheryl snaps, clearly not interested in starting that discussion, but she doesn’t go full bitchy She-Hulk this time. “It’s not even that he’s a Serpent. I’m just simply not sure if I want any more of my Vixens dating, especially Josie; boys are nothing but a distraction.”

Toni barely bites back a scoff. “Sweet Pea isn’t the smothering type,” she tries to assure her, but something tells her that’s not really Cheryl’s issue here, either.

“There’s also school work,” the redhead quickly adds, like she’s making it up as she goes. “Junior year is extremely important for college applications.”

“I think she’ll be oka-”

“And she needs to be focusing on her music, too!” she piles on. “She’s an excellent singer, did you know that?”

“Now I know you’re just being difficult,” Toni laughs, running a hand through her hair. “You got a crush on her or something, Blossom?”

She means for it to be teasing, and she’s sure she said it that way, but the way Cheryl immediately goes stalk still and snaps her head in her direction tells Toni it wasn’t received that way.

“No,” Cheryl says after an awkward beat, quietly but firmly, completely serious. “No, of course not.”

It throws Toni for a loop for a moment, but she doesn’t have time to analyze it right now. Right now, she just has to salvage this conversation; she got this far, might as well keep pushing for that win.

“Hey, I was just teasing,” she assures her gently and genuinely, reaching out to try to cover Cheryl’s hand with her own, but the other girl pulls hers away before she can get too close. “Relax. I’m sorry, okay? I was-”

“I’ll speak with her,” Cheryl cuts in suddenly, like she’s been having a whole debate with herself the entire time, or like she just wants to move on from that conversational detour as quickly as possible.

Toni’s thrown again, eyes widening a bit. “You will?”

Cheryl nods. “I’ll inform Josie that I have no objection to the union, should she even genuinely be interested in pursuing something with Green Bean-”

“Sweet Pea.”

“-But that’s all I will do,” the taller girl concludes, nodding resolutely again, like she’s pleased with herself. “I refuse to pressure her into a relationship she doesn’t want to be in.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Toni is quick to agree, willing to take anything she can bring back to Sweet Pea. “That- I get that, that’s more than enough.”

Silence hangs over them now, and while it’s not really uncomfortable to Toni, who’s smiling widely, the other girl’s posture suggests she doesn’t share the same sentiment.

“You can go now,” Cheryl’s finally blurts out, not entirely unkindly, but not leaving much room for argument, either. “Unless you really want me to insult your unfortunate choice in footwear.”

“It’s fine,” Toni reassures her, knocking her knuckles softly on the table before pushing herself to her feet with a grin. She adjusts her jacket and looks down at Cheryl, her smile turning a little fond. “_Thank you_, Cheryl.”

The redhead nods as she averts her gaze, clearly uncomfortable with the level of sincerely being shown to her, and then Toni spins on her heel to leave with a spring in her step, giving Cheryl the space she needs.

She slips back into biology class without much trouble, and sidles up to her table to take her seat beside Sweet Pea.

“So?” he whispers, knowing where she’d really been planning on going when she asked the teacher to be excused to use the washroom. “How’d it go? We good?”

Toni’s smile hasn’t dropped since she left the library, and when she turns to Sweet Pea and replays the conversation she just had with Cheryl in her head - the good, the bad, and the awkward - her smile only widens.

“Yeah,” she whispers softly, marveling. “I think we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said this on Twitter, but the enemies stage didn't last too long, I know, but I'm weak and this isn't gonna be too many chapters, so I didn't wanna waste too much time on them fighting. Anyways, as I said at the beginning of the chapter, unless it's mentioned, don't assume anything past the S1 finale has happened; the Nick thing hasn't and the gross predatory lesbian storyline with Cheryl/Josie didn't, either. Otherwise, I would love to hear what you thought or what you liked (or even didn't like) in the comments, because nothing motivates me more. You can also find me on Twitter (@mylittlefaith) or on Tumblr (@cherbombshells).


	4. My Love, She Leans Into Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Got this chapter up sooner than I thought I would, especially considering it's by far the longest one yet (12K+ words).  
ii) Again, I'll say the next one will probably be a longer wait as I have it less planned out, as of publishing this chapter.  
iii) Really loving the feedback so far, and hearing detailed thoughts, please keep it coming, it's great motivation.  
iv) This chapter has lots of relationship develop and a big convo, as well as having lots of set up for the second half of the fic.  
v) Bumped up the chapter number by one, and I'm pretty confident in that number as of now.  
vi) Trigger warning for discussion of a suicide attempt.

Cheryl proves to be good on her word, because by the next day, Sweet Pea is practically tackling Toni in the hallway; lifting her tiny body into the air without warning and spinning her around.

“Okay, okay!” she laughs, after getting over her initial shock and instinct to reach for her switchblade. “Put me down before I hurl!”

Toni smacks him in the chest as soon as he drops her back to her feet, but Sweet Pea just raises his hands in surrender and grins down at her. “Sorry,” he says lightly through his smile, looking anything but.

“I take it things went better with Josie this time around?” she guesses with a grin of her own, as she turns back to finish getting her annoying locker door open.

Even though Toni had suggested giving it a couple days before approaching Josie again, Sweet Pea had all the patience of a toddler - which makes sense, since he has the maturity of one most of the time, too - and insisted on asking the other girl out the next day.

But it seems like he made the right call this time, if his over the top antics are anything to go by.

“You _take it_ right,” Josie answers before Sweet Pea can, suddenly appearing from behind the tall boy as she moves around him to get to her own locker.

Toni laughs at the exaggerated grin and thumbs up her friend gives her over Josie’s head and turns to the girl beside her as she finally gets the door to open. “He wore you down, huh?”

Josie laughs as she gets her own locker open with a much more skilled ease. “Between this one pouting and Cheryl being two seconds away from planning our wedding, how could I say no?”

“Hey, there was no pouting,” Sweet Pea protests. “I don’t pout.” He’s ignored by both of them.

“Which, by the way, I have no idea how you got that girl on board with me going out with a Serpent,” Josie continues as she pulls books from her bag. “She was ready to exile you all to Greendale last week. Think you can talk to my mom next?”

Toni shrugs at the first question, not planning on answering it with anything more than a brush off, in the hopes of avoiding even more questions, but of course Sweet Pea opens his big mouth.

“Tiny’s got pull with Big Red,” he interjects from behind his crush, leaning his ridiculously large frame against the lockers next to hers.

Josie’s intrigue is obvious. “Oh yeah?”

“They used to besties,” he explains nonchalantly, completely missing the warning glare Toni is giving him because he only has eyes for one girl.

Josie stops her book transferring to do a double take, shooting Toni a look of surprised confusion. “Wait, really?” she questions, eyebrow raised as she looks her up and down, as if trying to imagine her being friends with the redhead at all, let alone _best_ friends. “Cheryl’s never mentioned that.”

“Shocker,” Toni snorts, and that would have hurt last week, but she finds it doesn’t now, not much. “It’s not a big deal.”

But Josie doesn’t buy it. “It’s gotta be some type of deal,” she reasons, still staring at Toni with curious eyes. “Cheryl doesn’t just listen to anybody.”

Except Cheryl didn’t really listen to her, not really; it’s not like she did it as a favor to Toni.

There was more going on there; things Toni’s tried not to think too much about since then, but hasn’t quite ignored, either.

Cheryl had other motivations for talking to Josie, but that’s not really any of her business, so.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Toni shrugs a second time. “The girl is unpredictable.” She shoves one last book in her bag and shuts her locker door, sending the pair a dismissive smile and peace sign before she starts backing away from them. “Enjoy your date.”

She doesn’t get the chance to talk to Cheryl about it until last period.

The redhead strolls into the room with her fingers curled around the straps of her tiny red backpack that somehow holds everything she needs for the school day, and there’s a hint of a smirk on her red lips until she spots Sweet Pea sitting in her usual desk beside Josie.

Toni watches her from her seat at the back of the class - because she’s curious to see what she’s gonna do or say, not because she can’t help but watch Cheryl when she’s around or anything - and laughs lightly at the look on the other girl’s face.

She looks like she’s contemplating ripping Sweet Pea to shreds using only the power of her extensive vocabulary, but instead, she just purses lips and moves on, letting her eyes search the classroom for somewhere else to sit today.

Her eyes go in Betty’s direction first, and her mouth twists up even more when she finds Jughead sitting beside her - because they’re predictably already back together - and Toni offers her a wave when her gaze finally drifts back to her.

She has Fangs on one side of her - who’s busy texting some girl he met - and an empty seat on the other side of her, and she’s only mildly surprised when Cheryl decides to take that seat instead of the empty one beside Reggie.

“Look at you, Red,” Fangs comments with a smirk, finally looking up from his phone long enough to see Cheryl slipping into the desk on the other side of Toni. “Willingly associating with the riff raff in the back.”

Cheryl rolls her eyes as slips her bag off her shoulders and places it on the desk in front of her. “Well, it was either this or suffer the company of that moronic Cro-Magnon in the front,” she reasons. “You’re the lesser of two evils.”

Fangs scoffs, clearly amused, and shots Toni a look that she can’t quite read before he turns his attention back to his screen and leaves her to deal with the Northsider on her own.

“Hey,” she calls out a few moments later, leaning over and waiting until she’s got Cheryl’s attention before she continues. “Thanks again for talking to Josie; she told me you really went to bat for Sweet Pea.”

Cheryl’s eyes flash with something Toni doesn’t catch, before she shrugs and starts digging into her bag. “I didn’t do it for you,” she insists, not entirely unkindly, but offers no alternative explanation for why she did it.

“Well, whatever the reason, you did a good thing,” she reiterates.

The redhead shoots her a look. “You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“Jesus, would you just take the gratitude, Blossom?” Toni laughs in faux exasperation, and her heart aches with a sudden fondness when Cheryl gets all bashful and awkward, clearly not used to being shown appreciation - and it’s that reason she feels the need to repeat herself. “Thank you, Cheryl. _Really._ I’ve never seen Sweet Pea so happy; he literally tackled me in the hallway earlier. So I don’t care why you did it, just... thanks.”

Cheryl’s pale cheeks tint with a bit of pink, and it takes her a few beats to finally meet Toni’s gaze before she bobs her head in what looks like it’s supposed to be a nod.

“You’re welcome,” she eventually gets out, but Mrs. Haggly comes in before Toni can respond.

Sweet Pea still won’t shut up about Josie by the next night, and he only gets increasingly more sappy the more he drinks, so Toni cuts him off at four.

“Don’t make me regret helping you,” she warns him as he tries to reach behind the bar with his big ass arms after she refuses to serve him more.

He’s still towing the line between tipsy and drunk - and at least he’s happy instead of angry like he usually is - but Toni doesn’t want to have to deal with him come closing time.

“I’m just tryna celebrate here!” Sweet Pea whines, his hair mussed up and his words slurred.

“Well, go celebrate over there with Jones,” Toni insists, nodding her head to the back of the bar, where Jughead and Fangs are playing a game of pool. “I’m sure he’d love to hear all about how Josie’s eyes sparkle when she’s in the lounge.”

“So I can listen to him talk about how tight Betty’s ponytail is?” Sweet Pea scoffs dramatically. “No thanks. At least _you_ don’t babble about Red.”

Toni almost drops the glass she’s cleaning at the implication, and she’s suddenly glad Sweet Pea is far enough away from sober to miss her reaction.

She’s tried so hard not to think about all that lately, and she’s not about to start now. And she’s certainly not about to let any of her friends get even a whiff of her past with Cheryl, and definitely not any pipe dreams of a possible future, either - no matter how tipsy they are.

“Because I’m not dating Cheryl,” Toni replies, in what she hopes is a successfully dismissive manner. “And anyways, you two love sick morons deserve each other. Go make each other nauseous and let me work in peace.”

Sweet Pea - he who does not pout - juts his bottom lip out at her. “You’re mean when I’m drunk.” When he gets nothing back but a pointed stare, he sighs as dramatically as he scoffed and pushes off the bar to stumble to his feet. “But fine, I know when I’m not wanted.” Toni bites back a laugh at that, but before she can move to start stacking the glasses she’s cleaned, Sweet Pea slams his fist on the bar. “Oh! I forgot! Josie wanted me to invite you to hang out with us tomorrow night.”

Toni’s thrown by the invite, wondering why the hell anyone would think she’d want to third wheel a couple in the honeymoon phase, but luckily for her, she doesn’t have to try to think of a good excuse.

“I can’t,” she answers swiftly. “Ma’s home this weekend.”

Sweet Pea eyes her warily, as if trying to remember if that’s true, and sways in his combat boots. “She told me not to take _no_ for an answer.”

“Tell her some other time,” Toni offers feebly, not really having any intentions of following through. She likes Josie and she loves Sweet Pea, but that hardly sounds like her idea of fun. “I promise,” she adds on when her friend doesn’t look pleased enough.

He still doesn’t look happy, but he takes what he can get. “Already getting me in trouble,” he mumbles as he shuffles away, leaving Toni to watch him go, not quite sure what to make of it all.

Josie corners her in the student lounge the next day.

(And honestly, Toni’s gotta admit that Sweet Pea’s right - her eyes _do_ sparkle in this light.)

“Hey, Josie,” she greets her with a friendly smile when the other girl calls her over, even though she can already guess what this is going to be about.

“What’s this I hear about you being too busy to hang out tonight?”

Straight to the point, Toni’s gotta respect that.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she winces in apology, shifting her bag on her shoulder as she wonders how much Sweet Pea told her. “My mom lives in Centerville and I only get to see her every other weekend, so you know. Some other time, though, for sure.”

Toni makes sure not to promise this time, but she means it more today - standing in front of Josie’s judging and sparkling eyes - than she did last night.

Josie doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she doesn’t make her swear a blood oath or anything, either. “Next week,” she suggests instead, getting to her feet after checking her watch. “We’ll all go to Pop’s.”

It’s not a question, so all Toni does is nod as Josie makes her way out of the lounge, and then she laughs, because Sweet Pea doesn’t stand a chance with her; she’s gonna eat him alive.

“Toni!” she hears her name being called for the second time in what might be as many minutes, and when she turns around, she finds Betty waving her over to where she’s sitting on the couch across the lounge with her regular crew.

“Hey guys,” Toni greets them as she approaches hesitantly, only currently familiar with half the people there.

“V, have you met Toni yet?” Betty asks the dark haired girl sitting across from her, and Toni feels curious eyes on her.

“I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure,” Veronica introduces herself, offering the Serpent her hand while wearing a grin she can’t quite read - her friendliness doesn’t seem fake, per say, but it doesn’t feel entirely genuine either. Toni chalks it up to her family and lifestyle, though; she’s probably just used to always have to be _on_. That, or she’s heard one too many Lodge conspiracy theories from Jughead. “I’m Veronica Lodge.”

Because that’s the thing - this might be the first time she’s meeting Veronica, but Toni feels like she already knows her.

Much like the Blossoms, everyone in Riverdale knows of the Lodges, and more than that, they know all of their business, too.

Or, enough of it, at least.

Toni’s never heard anything unkind about Veronica, though, so for as much as she knows of the girl, she doesn’t have many judgements of her.

Jughead’s not particularly close with her, despite being close with those she’s closest to, but he doesn’t think she’s like her father, or even her mother; he respects her, even if he doesn’t like her much, and that’s enough for Toni.

“Toni Topaz,” she replies with a smile of her own, shaking the other girl’s hand politely.

“Love the name,” Veronica grins, slipping her hand from Toni’s to pat Archie’s chest affectionately. “And this handsome man is my boyfriend Archie.”

Toni laughs, sharing a look with the boy. “Yeah, me and Archie’s Bald go way back,” she teases, the dumb nickname she gave the ginger boy during that short period of irrational jealousy bringing a smile to his face.

“Hey, Toni,” he waves, still as nice and friendly as he always was; he grew up nicely, too.

“Oh?” Veronica asks, bold eyebrows meeting her hairline. “How far back are we talking?”

Toni shrugs, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. “Archie was technically my first kiss.”

“Intrigue,” the other girl replies, more curious than jealous. “Why_ technically_?”

“Well, it was spin the bottle,” Toni explains with another shrug, not missing the way Betty blushes and rolls her eyes at her own memory of that night. “And I had a way better one a few days later that I like to think of as my first kiss, instead.” Visions of forts made out of pillows and pillow soft lips against hers play behind her eyes and warm her heart. “No offense,” she quickly adds. “I’m sure your game has improved since.”

Veronica laughs. “Oh, _believe me_, it has,” she promises.

“Please don’t encourage her,” Jughead begs his friend, speaking for the first time as he pops a chip into his mouth and cringes in the couple’s direction. “They’ll start making out right now just to prove it to you.”

Toni has no doubt about it, and thankfully the bell rings before she has to worry about excusing herself.

Jake is still hanging around when Toni’s mother gets into town that night, so the three of them have to co-exist for a couple days.

Her mother doesn’t know that Jake locks her out when he’s home, but he’s not about to tell her and let that monthly check from her go, and Toni’s not about to and risk getting hauled over to Centerville either, so the two of them play nice while she’s around.

Which really just means that Jake only comes by the trailer to sleep, which is fine by her, because at least they can have a movie night in peace.

“Cheetos or popcorn?” Toni asks her mother from the end of the aisle, holding up their choices while the older woman picks out the candy.

“Always get both,” she answers like Toni should already know that, and she really should. “Haven’t I taught you anything?”

Toni just laughs and does as she’s told, tossing them into the basket her mother’s carrying and giving her approval to the candy choices made without her.

“Things still going well with Cheryl?” her mother finally asks on their walk home from the bodega, and Toni’s shocked it took her that long.

She’s kept her updated throughout the past two weeks, so she pretty much knows everything there is to know, but it’s still expected that she’d grill her in person, too.

Her mother loves Cheryl like she’s her own - always has - and Toni loves that about her.

It makes her think of Penelope Blossom, momentarily, and it hurts her heart, that she doesn’t even have to wonder if Cheryl’s had similar conversations about her with her own mother.

(Not for the first time in her life, Toni’s filled with a sudden sense of love and gratitude for the kind of mother Karla Topaz is.)

“Yeah, they’ve been getting better,” Toni answers, trying to sound casual.

“Good enough for you to invite her over for a movie?” she wonders hopefully. “I’d love to see her.”

Toni almost laughs at the mere suggestion. “Definitely not.”

Things are better, and feel like they keep getting better everyday, but they’re also delicate too, and Toni isn’t about to push any harder than she already has. It’s a miracle the Sweet Pea thing worked out okay, she’s not interested in taking any more risks or trying to force things.

Unfortunately for Toni - or fortunately, maybe, if she could see the future - someone else has different plans.

Josie’s waiting for her at her locker first thing Monday morning.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were stalking me,” Toni jokes as soon as she sees her, and she’s surprised not to see her taller counterpart with her.

“You should be so lucky,” Josie shoots back, books already in hand, which means she really was just waiting for her. “I just wanted to catch you early to let you know Sweet Pea and I are going to Pop’s tonight-”

“Good for you,” she replies, even though she knows damn well the other girl isn’t finished.

“-and you’re coming with us,” Josie tells her with a grin, not leaving any room for arguments or excuses.

Toni really does not get why Josie is so insistent on this, but she may as well get it over with before she sics the big oaf on her again.

So Toni forces a beaming smile at the other girl as she pops her locker door open. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“You’re really coming tonight, right?” Sweet Pea questions her in biology class, as soon as she slides into the seat beside him.

Toni rolls her eyes. “Yes,” she groans, slamming her bag onto her desk and glaring at the phone in the boy’s hands. “You can tell your girlfriend I’ll be there.”

Sweet Pea follows her gaze and quickly flips the phone over so she can’t read his text thread with Josie. “She’s not my girlfriend,” he insists, in lieu of denying he’s been sent after her. “She said she just wanted to keep it casual, at least for now.”

“Oh,” is all Toni has to say to that, because the shift in the conversation is so abrupt. “Well, I mean, that seems right, right? Josie strikes me as a girl you gotta work for, you know?”

One would think that after being friends with a group of guys for years, and having her own first hand experience (maybe) dating the fairer sex, that she’d be better at giving advice about girls, but she’s really not.

She’s got enough girl problems of her own that she can’t figure out.

“Yeah,” Sweet Pea agrees, not sounding entirely convinced at first, until he shakes the uncharacteristic self doubt off. “_Yeah_,” he repeats, a little more confidently, before he glares at her. “So you better come tonight and help me out; don’t blow this for me.”

“Okay, jeez, I will,” Toni promises, wondering how the hell she ended up so involved in their relationship.

_Cheryl_, the answer comes to her immediately.

It always comes back to Cheryl.

Which is exactly why it really shouldn’t surprise Toni that when she walks into Pop’s with Sweet Pea later that night, a certain redhead is sitting next to Josie in a booth.

“_Shit_,” Sweet Pea mutters when he spots them. “I swear I didn’t know, Tiny.”

Toni believes him, but she also believes nothing would’ve changed if he had, so whatever.

“It’s fine,” she tells him with a shrug, because it is.

At this point, she doesn’t really mind talking to or being around Cheryl - it’s the other girl she’s not sure about it, because something tells her that she wasn’t in the know, either.

“They’re here,” Toni hears Josie say as they approach.

“_They?_” Cheryl repeats in confusion, not having spotted them yet. “Who else did you-?” She cuts herself off abruptly when she turns and gets the answer for herself. “Oh. _Of course you did_.”

Toni could take it personally, but she doesn’t; Cheryl doesn’t really look mad, just exasperated and maybe annoyed, and not even at her.

Josie just smiles like she can’t feel any tension. “So glad you decided to join us, Toni.”

The shorter Serpent snorts as she slides into the booth across from them. “Like you left me a choice.”

“You too?” Cheryl questions, giving Josie a look that starts off as a glare - or at least an attempt at one - before it morphs into something softer and more fond. “She’s quite persuasive, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Toni agrees, nudging the boy beside her. “Good luck, buddy.”

It’s enough to ease away the last bit of tension between them as the girls all laugh at Sweet Pea’s expense.

Conversation is a little stilted at first, but once a waitress comes over to take everyone’s orders, things just kind of flow after that.

It’s apparently Sweet Pea’s first time here - a revelation that’s met with much shock and awe - and it sparks a lot of stories about the Riverdale landmark and then a hot debate over which flavor of milkshake is the best; Toni insists it’s chocolate, while Cheryl says strawberry.

(Some things just never change.)

When Toni excuses herself to use the washroom before their food is served, she’s not surprised to find Josie’s followed her when she comes out of the stall.

“Hey, I’m sorry for ambushing you like that,” she says with a grimace as she joins Toni at the sink. “It’s just that Cheryl doesn’t really have many other _real_ friends besides me, and you seem cool, so I thought…”

Josie thought that if she could make Cheryl and Toni friends again, then she wouldn’t have to feel bad about ditching her for Sweet Pea.

At least that’s the story she’s selling - which _does_ make sense, but Toni can’t help but think there’s more to it than that. Whatever it may be, though, she’s not about to get it in the girls washroom in Pop’s, so.

“It’s okay, I get it,” Toni assures her as she turns off the tap and shakes her hands dry, watching the other girl in the mirror. “I’m probably not the one you need to convince.”

She laughs as Josie grimaces again. “Yeah, she’ll probably have more than a few overly pretentious words for me later,” she sighs, crossing her arms over her chest as she shrugs. “I just hate the thought of her cooped up in that house, with that awful mother of hers.”

Toni would swear a dark rain cloud suddenly appears over her head, the way the feeling of gloom fills her at the mention of that woman.

“Penelope Blossom still a witch?” she asks rhetorically, because she already knows the answer to that.

She tries really hard to push away the images of Penelope’s wicked face twisted up with an evil grin, as she stood between Toni and the girl she wanted to see more than anything.

“You have no idea,” Josie answers, and something about the way she says it - the sadness in her voice, and the gravity of her tone - makes Toni shiver. But before she can press for more, the other girl is pushing forward, hooking her arm through hers and pulling her towards the door. “But come on, we should get back out there and save Sweet Pea.”

Toni forces a laugh and lets herself be dragged along, but she can’t quite shake the heavy unease as well as Josie does.

Even though it feels suspiciously like a double date, the rest of dinner goes about as well as it can.

Sweet Pea deems the burgers God tier and agrees that the chocolate shake is the best, and while Toni keeps a curious eye on Cheryl the whole meal - to test her crush hypothesis out - she doesn’t really notice any pining or longing coming from the redhead, or even any overt jealousy.

(Which doesn’t disprove her theory entirely, but it does calm her own tiny bit of jealousy that she’s been trying to ignore since their talk in the library, so.

She’s taking it as a win and moving on.)

And by the time they’re all ready to go, Toni’s finally stopped thinking about the conversation she had with Josie in the washroom.

“I hope you didn’t feel too shanghaied,” Cheryl says to her as they exit the restaurant behind their friends, letting them walk ahead to say their goodbyes in private.

“Nah, it’s cool,” Toni repeats, telling her what she already told her best friend. “It was actually kinda fun,” she has to admit. “But don’t tell Josie.”

Cheryl’s lips quirk up into a slight smile. “I suppose your company wasn’t too terrible,” she concedes, and somehow it feels like the biggest compliment ever.

It has her own mouth stretching wide as she nudges the other girl, this odd feeling of familiarity and something akin to companionship falling over them.

“I’ll take it, Bombshell,” she tells her sweetly.

“Oh gosh,” Cheryl groans, dropping her head and blushing a little. “Who told you about that name?”

Toni just laughs at the other girl’s embarrassment, and ignores the fluttery feeling bursting in her chest.

But it isn’t until she’s in bed later that night, when she opens Instagram to find a notification alerting her that Cheryl has started following her again, that Toni allows herself to put a name to that feeling.

(It’s hope.)

*

With another step taken, things continue forward after that.

They still don’t spend any one-on-one time together, but Toni makes the most of any time she gets with Cheryl - even if all of that time is also spent with their friends.

Cheryl eats lunch with the Serpents on some days, under the guise of joining her best friend and cousin, and she sits next to Toni in class on the days that Sweet Pea takes her seat beside Josie; she hangs out with them in the student lounge between classes, and even joins them at Pop’s sometimes, too.

She’s still her snarky self, always with the bitchy banter - with Toni, yeah, but even more so with Jughead and Sweet Pea, who give it right back - but her mask is a little bit lower now, and her edges a bit softer.

It almost feels like they’ve formed a big group within a couple of weeks - Cheryl, Toni, Sweet Pea, Fangs, Josie, Betty and Jughead; like maybe they’re all kinda _friends_.

So, when Fangs floats the idea of taking a trip to the quarry one Friday night, while the four Serpents are hanging out at Jughead’s, because it’s supposed to be unseasonably warm out the next day, it only phases Toni a little when she’s not the one to suggest including Cheryl.

“I’m sure Betty would be up for it,” Jughead speaks for his girlfriend, getting up to go find some more food.

“And I’ll ask Josie if she and Cheryl wanna come,” Sweet Pea chimes in casually, already pulling his phone out of his back pocket to post the question in the group chat.

He gets three replies within a couple of minutes - one more enthusiastic than the other, and Betty’s too, but all promising they’ll be there - and Toni heart grows two sizes.

The Serpents are already waiting at the quarry when Cheryl pulls up in her Impala with Josie sitting on the passenger side and Betty in the backseat.

She parks the car on the side of the bridge like Toni instructs her to do, but takes her time exiting the vehicle while the other two girls are quick to get out and greet their boys.

Toni gives Josie and Betty both a smile as they skip past her and towards Sweet Pea and Jughead, while she saunters over to greet Cheryl, who’s still sitting in her car; the big sunglasses that cover half of her face not doing much to hide the obvious uncertainty she’s masking as discontent.

“Hey, Bombshell,” Toni greets her with a growing smile, leaning into the window of the car. “Gonna come join the party?”

“Not only does this place look completely unsanitary,” Cheryl starts in way of an answer. “But it’s absolutely ridiculous for you all to be out here swimming at this time of year.”

Toni bites back a laugh and shakes her head fondly as she reaches inside the car to pop the door open. “You know Riverdale weather has no rhyme or reason,” she reminds her over Cheryl’s protests, stepping around the door and trying to coax Cheryl out. “It’s nice out today, perfect for swimming. Come on, you agreed to come and you can’t just sit up here while we’re all down there having fun without you.”

If this was years ago, or if she and Cheryl were closer than they are now, Toni wouldn’t have hesitated to pull the redhead out of the car, but though they’ve made strides, they’re not quite there; _she_ might consider them friends, but she’s not sure if Cheryl does yet.

Toni hopes that someday they’ll get to that place again, where she doesn’t have to consider everything she says or does around Cheryl, but for now, this is okay, too.

When it comes to Cheryl, Toni’s had nothing, and this is definitely better than that.

“Fine, but I’m certainly not swimming in that disgusting swamp water,” the other girl finally declares, making a big show of stepping out of the car in her heels - because of course she’d wear heels to a swimming hole.

Toni lets out a laugh this time, and waits to shut the door for Cheryl before nodding. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

She can’t see the taller girl’s eyes behind the tint of her sunglasses, but her lips look suspiciously like they’re trying to fight a smile for a moment or two before she’s shaking it off.

“Well, come on then,” Cheryl insists, making a shooing motion with her hands towards the group waiting on the other side of the bridge. “We can’t just stand around all day.”

Toni rolls her eyes playfully, grabs Cheryl’s wrist and leads the way.

As it turns out, Betty and Jughead can stay up there on the bridge all day, because that’s exactly what they do, while the other five entertain themselves down in the water.

Well, Fangs and Sweet Pea entertain themselves in the water; Josie entertains herself watching them, Cheryl entertains herself with a book and Toni entertains herself with Cheryl.

Not in a creepy way, of course, but in that way where Cheryl still gives Toni butterflies and she still can’t quite believe she’s got this girl back in her life; maybe not the way she wants, not yet, but again - it’s not nothing.

The three of them are lounging on a couple of towels that Cheryl insisted on spreading out on the rocky edge of the shore, not really tanning, but enjoying the heat and glow of the sun nonetheless.

Cheryl’s mostly quiet, engrossed in the book she’s reading despite all the obnoxious noise the boys are making in the water, and Toni is just enjoying being this close to the redhead while she talks to Josie on the other side of her.

They start with school and then the Pussycats, but eventually the topic of conversation ends up on a certain boy they have in common.

“We’re having fun, he’s a really sweet guy,” Josie answers when Toni asks, and while she can practically hear the _but_ in her words, it never comes; not because there isn’t one, but because Josie is smart enough not to give it to Toni.

It’s hardly the gushing or glowing review Toni was hoping for, and she already knows she can’t tell Sweet Pea what his still-not-girlfriend said, not unless she wants to listen to him spiral and overthink it for the next two weeks.

But Toni just nods, wanting to push for more for Sweet Pea, but liking Josie enough not to. “He is,” she says instead, rolling her eyes when the boy in question lets out a loud yelp of victory when he body slams his best friend into the water. “He’s an idiot, but a sweet one.”

Cheryl gives a scoff of disagreement under her breath, but doesn’t actually voice the opinion in words. Josie and Toni share a look of amused endearment - more than used to the playfully antagonistic dynamic between the two - but don’t call her on it, either.

“But what about you?” Josie wonders before Toni can press her for anything more on Sweet Pea, clearly a master at avoiding topics she doesn’t want to discuss. “Gone out with any cute guys lately?”

Toni’s momentarily thrown by the question - she mostly has guy friends that don’t give a shit about her dating life, and the only one that ever asks is her mother - but she keeps enough of her composure not to whip around to gauge Cheryl’s reaction.

“Uh, no,” she forces out instead, trying to lean back as subtly as she can so she can try to catch a glimpse of the other girl. She’s still got her eyes glued to the page of her book, but her posture seems a little more rigid that it did a moment before. “No guys. Maybe a girl or two, though.”

Josie only looks mildly surprised, but quickly brushes it off, and it’s nice to know she can count on Sweet Pea not to out her - not that she’s actually _in_. “I didn’t realize you played for both teams. Well, out with it then, give me some names.”

Toni laughs and shakes her head, addressing the girl on the left, but still keeping an eye on the girl on her right. “There’s no girls,” she insists, and it’s less than half true, but not an outright lie, so. “That was just my way of telling you I’m into them, too. Just, nobody in particular at the moment.”

Now that one’s just a straight up lie, but Toni thinks Josie would understand if she knew the backstory.

And as the other girl starts asking her what her type is and listing all the out girls she knows on the Northside, Toni can’t help but notice that Cheryl never turns the page once.

Something like a half hour later, Cheryl has abandoned pretending to read in favor of attempting to sunbathe, but she still doesn’t contribute much to the conversation Josie and Toni are having, which has since turned to discussing their preferred taste in music - at least before they’re rudely interrupted.

“You girls ever gonna come in?” Sweet Pea asks as he approaches the three of them, hair wet and dangling in his face before he pushes it back with one of his monster sized hands.

“The water’s actually pretty okay,” Fangs adds from where he’s still half submerged, pulling himself up on the rock’s edge as not to be left out of the conversation.

Toni considers it for a moment before she shrugs. “Sure, I’m in,” she agrees easily, handing Josie the rest of her snack as she pushes herself to her feet.

“I’m not trying to get my hair wet,” Josie answers from her spot beside a now standing Toni, offering Sweet Pea a smile as she declines to fall for his pout.

The boy doesn’t push it though, and instead turns his attention to the redhead. “What about you, Blossom?”

Toni scoffs as she shimmies out of her shorts, already knowing Cheryl’s answer before she says it.

“Hard pass,” is the expected reply.

This time, Sweet Pea doesn’t just accept the answer like he should, he just has to push it. “What’s the matter, can’t swim?” he teases, and even though it’s lighthearted, Toni wishes he wouldn’t.

“Or do you only swim in the Benjamins?” Fangs has to add in with a laugh.

“I could easily swim laps around you both, I’ll have you know,” Cheryl scoffs, ripping her sunglasses off her face so the boys can see her glare in all its intended glory. “I just have no desire to submerge myself in such disease infested waters. I can only imagine the horrors lurking beneath the surface.” Toni fights a smirk as she listens, her eyes darting between the two, but she silently wills Cheryl to stop there, while she’s ahead, but of course she doesn’t. “You may have no regard to your personal hygiene, but some of us do.”

Toni sighs and shakes her head, sharing an amused look with Josie that says,_ she just can’t help herself, huh?_

Sweet Pea looks noticeably less endeared. “Okay, I wasn’t gonna, but you just _had_ to open your mouth.”

He takes two big steps forward and bends down, grabbing Cheryl at the waist and easily hoisting her body up off her towel and over his shoulder.

“What-What are you doing?!” she immediately shrieks, kicking and squirming in his grip as Sweet Pea heads towards the water. “Unhand me this instant, you neandertal!” Toni laughs as she moves out of the way, but the louder and more hysterical Cheryl’s screams get as they get closer to the edge, the less funny it becomes. “Stop, stop, Sweet Pea, put me down!”

She sounds like she’s legitimately scared now - like this isn’t about her not wanting to go swimming in dirty water after all - but Toni can’t seem to find her voice through the sinking feeling in her gut; she just stands by and watches.

“What’s going on?” Jughead calls down from the bridge, obviously hearing all the commotion.

Toni turns around to watch Betty and Jughead take in the scene from above, of Sweet Pea standing on the edge of the swimming hole and taunting Cheryl, who’s now flailing in his arms and desperately pleading with him to put her down.

Jughead looks more confused than concerned, until something that might be recognition flashes on Betty’s face, and she grips her boyfriend’s arm. “Jug…”

Toni can’t hear what she says to him from down there - not with Cheryl’s wails ringing in her ears - but whatever it is, it seems to light a fire under Jughead’s ass, because suddenly the boy is hopping over the railing of the bridge.

“Hey, hey! Stop!” he shouts as he slides down the grassy hill, almost tripping once he reaches the bottom and jumps over to where she’s standing on the shore. “Sweet Pea, don’t-!”

Toni hears a loud splash behind her before Jughead can finish his order, and when she turns around, she finds Fangs and Sweet Pea doubled over in laughter as Cheryl thrashes around in the water.

She’s still trying to process everything that’s happening when Jughead sprints past her, ignoring her all together, before he roughly pushes Sweet Pea out of the way and jumps into the water after the other girl.

And the thing is, as Toni stands frozen and confused, watching it all unfold in front of her, all she can think about is the fact that Cheryl can swim.

Toni knows that from afternoons at Thornhill and pictures from camp, and she doesn’t understand why Jughead has to grab Cheryl to keep her afloat, or why he needs to swim them both back to shore and help her pull herself up onto the rocks before he gets out himself.

“Jeez, relax with the heroics, Jones,” Sweet Pea scoffs as he stands by instead of helping Jughead get Cheryl to her very unsteady feet. “It was just a joke. I think the princess can handle a little dirty water.”

“_Shut up!_” Jughead hisses, wrapping one arm around Cheryl’s shaking shoulders while he stretches the other one out in Sweet Pea’s direction, pointing an accusing finger at him dramatically. “You have no fucking idea what you've done!”

And, it’s becoming increasingly aware, neither does Toni.

“What’s-” she starts to ask, finally finding her voice, but the gentle hand on her back stops her.

“Just let Jug handle it,” Betty suggests, joining them sometime during all the commotion.

When Toni glances back to look at her, she sees Josie has gotten to her feet and is standing now too, watching as Jughead carefully leads the rattled and soaked redhead towards them.

“You okay?” she hears him ask Cheryl softly, more kind than Toni has ever known him to be towards the other girl. “Come on, let’s get you dried off.”

Betty has Cheryl’s towel waiting by the time they reach them, and she gently wraps her cousin in it before pulling her into a comforting hug.

“Anyone wanna clue me in here?” Josie eventually wonders, breaking the moment and asking the question Toni couldn’t bring herself to.

Jughead and Betty share a look over Cheryl’s shoulder, and something about it all makes Toni feel this inexplicable discomfort. She knows there’s parts of Cheryl’s life she doesn’t know anymore, but it isn’t until this moment that she realizes just how important some of those parts are.

They’re not just moments she can catch up on eventually, through stories or pictures or hearsay; these are moments, big ones, pivotal ones, that shaped and defined Cheryl - the girl she knew better than anyone, once upon a time - into who she is today.

They’re moments Toni missed out on and can never get back, ones Cheryl shares with other people, and somehow, she’s never felt further away from her former best friend (maybe girlfriend) as she does in _this_ moment.

“It’s a long story,” Jughead sighs, shaking his wet head, and what he really means is that it’s a story he’s not going to tell Josie - tell_ her - _at least not all of it.

Toni can only hope that someday maybe Cheryl will.

Once Betty takes Cheryl up to the bridge to sit in her car, emotions die down a little bit.

Fangs is now out of the water and standing with Sweet Pea, who still looks annoyed, but at least has enough sense to keep his mouth shut right now.

Toni has since gotten dressed again, and is standing with Josie as they wait for Jughead to finish cooling off and maybe give them some kind of explanation, even if it’s not the full one.

“Look,” he finally starts, ruffling his hair dry with the towel Toni gave him, and then attempting to shake any remnants of water out. “I know you didn’t mean any harm.” He’s talking to Sweet Pea, who reluctantly shuffles closer to listen. “It’s just… Cheryl almost drowned last year - fell through the ice at Sweetwater River. Archie had to punch through to get her out, and if he had taken even fifteen seconds longer, she might have died.”

Toni balks at Jughead’s story, her stomach feeling as heavy as her heart as it drops to her feet with a crashing thud; all she can hear is Cheryl’s hysterical screaming and begging, and all she can see is herself standing there, doing nothing to stop it.

And somehow, Toni just knows that’s not even the worst of it.

“_Shit_,” Sweet Pea breathes, the mix of horror and guilt on his face a perfect reflection of her own. “I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t,” Jughead sighs, tossing him the damp towel as he moves on to wringing out his soaking wet beanie. “But now you do. So next time, maybe just let her sit out of anything that involves bodies of water, okay?”

“Yeah,” the taller boy nods earnestly, fisting the towel in his hand. “Yeah, of course.”

He looks over to Toni imploringly, like he’s expecting her to scold him now too, but as irrationally angry and disappointed as she is right now, almost none of it is directed at him.

But before she can even say anything to him - before anyone can - the sound of Betty’s voice calling from the bottom of the hill draws their attention. “Cheryl wants to get out of here.”

“I should go take her home,” Josie decides when everyone looks to her. Toni aches at the ease in which she can do that, thinking of how _she_ used to be the one to comfort Cheryl whenever she was upset, but then...

“Actually,” Betty counters gently, stopping Josie in her tracks. “Cheryl asked for Toni.”

Normally, Toni would immediately be over the moon at such news, but right now, it takes her a second to even register the implication. And once she does, the doubt isn’t far behind.

“I don’t know,” she mumbles, her regret for her previous inaction holding her back from attempting to make up for it now. Cheryl’s really vulnerable at the moment and probably letting her emotions call the shots, and what if she fucks up again? “Maybe you _should_ go.”

But Josie’s not having it. “No,” she shakes her head, giving her an encouraging smile. “She doesn’t want me right now, Toni; she wants _you_. Go take care of our girl.”

“Y-yeah,” she stammers, shaking herself out of her stupor. This is her chance, and the only way she can truly fuck it up is if she doesn’t take it. “Yeah, okay, sure.” She nods determinedly before she quickly gathers her stuff and looks at the others. “Can one of you guys take care of my bike?”

“I’ll drive it back to your place when we’re done,” Betty promises her with a kind smile, and Toni nods again, offering her a smile right back, but hers doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Hey, Topaz!” Sweet Pea calls before she starts up the hill, and he waits until she’s looking at him before he continues. “Tell Red I’m sorry, will ya?”

Toni’s a little more concerned about her own guilt, but she still promises him, all the same.

Cheryl’s sitting in the passenger seat when Toni gets to the car, wrapped up tightly in her towel and looking as small as she did all those years ago, when she first realized how evil Penelope Blossom really was.

She doesn’t say anything as she slips into the driver’s seat, not at first; just tosses her stuff into the backseat and turns the key that’s already in the ignition.

It isn’t until she’s pulled the car out onto the main road that one of them finally speaks.

“I don’t want to go home,” Cheryl tells her quietly, voice soft and vulnerable.

“That’s okay,” she promises, chancing a glance in her direction. “I can take you back to my place, if that’s cool with you? Jake shouldn’t be around.”

It takes a moment before Cheryl speaks again, but when she does, it’s just as softly as before. “Alright,” she agrees, eyes looking out the window as she presses her forehead against the cool glass and watches the trees as they blur by.

Toni nods, and heads in the direction of home.

Cheryl’s more damp than wet by the time they're pulling her car up outside the trailer, and Toni lets out a sigh of relief when she doesn’t see Jake’s bike anywhere.

He just fucked off the other night, which means he probably won’t be back for at least a week, but the universe is unpredictable when it comes to her luck, so Toni can never be sure of anything.

She resists the urge to make a joke about Cheryl’s car getting jacked, as a callback to her comment that night in Jughead’s trailer, and instead just grabs her stuff from the backseat and waits silently until the redhead is at her side, and then leads the way up the steps.

“There should be some hot water left, if you wanna take a shower,” Toni offers as she pushes the door open, letting Cheryl walk in first before following her inside. “But if you just wanna dry off and change, we can get you some clothes now.”

She moves around the other girl as she talks, the redhead standing still on the _welcome_ mat, towel hanging off her slumped shoulders and uncharacteristically timid eyes sweeping around the small trailer; it has Toni swallowing down another urge, this time to make some cliche quip about how she knows the place is no Thornhill, but it’s home.

(It doesn’t feel like it, most days.)

“I think I’d like to take a shower,” Cheryl eventually answers, her tired gaze finally landing on Toni as she starts to slip the towel off of herself, and Toni wonders if she had to fight an urge of her own when she doesn’t have anything to say about the trailer.

“Okay, yeah,” she quickly agrees, giving Cheryl assurance she doesn’t really need before jumping into action. Toni slips her shoes off and waits for Cheryl to do the same, before she brushes her fingers across her wrists and nods towards the bathroom. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

The first thing Toni does once Cheryl’s in the shower, is find something for her to wear for when she gets out.

Their taste in clothes, like most things, is still as different as it’s always been, but Toni’s assuming Cheryl will be looking for comfort over style, so she just grabs a pair of shorts and the first tank top she comes across that might fit the taller girl, as well as some underwear and a flannel shirt, if she wants it, and leaves it all on the bed.

She’s still cleaning up by the time Cheryl’s done, but she doesn’t even realize until she hears a soft knock and she looks up to find Cheryl standing at her door, this time wrapped in a different towel, and with nothing underneath.

The other girl looks slightly less timid than she did before, and now just looks more uncomfortable than anything, so Toni just awkwardly shoves her hands in her pockets and nods towards her bed.

“I left some dry clothes out for you,” she explains with a small smile. “No fancy brand labels or anything, but they should be comfortable.”

Cheryl nods, and though the smile she offers her back is even smaller, it still feels like enough to ease the tension a bit. “Thank you.”

Toni waves her off and moves towards the door, essentially switching places with the redhead as she enters. “I’ll let you get changed while I hang your wet clothes out to dry and make some tea,” she says before she halts in the doorway, her hand fiddling with the knob. “Unless you’d rather have some hot chocolate. I think we might have some.”

She watches as a hundred different memories seem to flash behind Cheryl’s eyes - hundreds of nights curled up on her couch with hot chocolate and movies they’d already seen a dozen times - and even though a ghost of a bigger smile tugs at the corner of her mouth, she still shakes her head.

“Tea is fine,” the red haired girl replies, tightening her towel around her chest as her gaze drifts from Toni to all the pictures stuck to her wall - surprisingly more interested in them than why she doesn’t have a real bed.

Toni fights the desire to stay and talk, to explain each and every photo Cheryl is going to see, and instead keeps it moving, shutting the door without another word and giving her some privacy.

She tries not to overthink as she gets the tea ready.

Toni tries not to think about how they’re finally alone - without anyone else to use as a buffer - for the first time since they’ve really become friends again (_no pressure_, she tells herself) and about how guilty she still feels, for not stopping Sweet Pea and preventing this whole mess from ever happened (_you couldn’t have known_); about why Cheryl asked for _her_ instead of Josie (_her guard is down, she’s letting you in, don’t fuck this up!_).

She tries to stop her brain from doing what it does best and she’s moderately successful, and by the time Toni’s got the tea ready, Cheryl still hasn’t emerged from her bedroom, so she brings the mugs over and knocks softly, waiting until she gets the go ahead before she nudges the door open.

“Thought maybe you got lost in the three feet between my bed and the door,” she jokes, taking a step inside when it doesn’t seem like Cheryl is going to come out. She’s dressed now - looking amazing in Toni’s clothes - but still standing in the place she was in when she left. “You okay in here?”

“Did you take all of these?” Cheryl asks without tearing her eyes away from the collage of pictures in front of her, completely ignoring the question asked of her.

Toni moves to stand at her side, shoulders brushing as she looks up at the wall too, even though the sight is anything but unfamiliar to her.

“Most of them,” she answers, nudging Cheryl with her elbow to get her attention so she can hand her one of the cups of tea. “The ones I’m not in.”

Most of them are pictures from around the trailer park or the Southside; of Sweet Pea, Fangs, Jughead, and other Serpents. Some are of her mother, some of animals or scenery she thought was pretty; there are some older ones - that her mother took - of her grandfather before he died, and even one with Jake, fixing up her father’s old bike for her.

And there are pictures of Cheryl (and Jason), too.

They’re all old, of course, mostly Polaroids she took on that first camera the redhead gave her - the one she still has tucked in her drawer and even uses, sometimes - and while they look completely out of place compared to all the other stylized and higher quality pictures on the wall, it would have been incomplete without them; she was there first.

Cheryl doesn’t mention them, though.

“They’re really good,” is what she says instead, wrapping her nibble fingers around the warm mug in her hands and finally looking at the girl beside her. “I told you you’d be a great photographer like your mother one day.”

Toni’s heart skips a beat, more at the memories than the compliment, and she bows her head to hide her grin behind a curtain of pink hair as she struggles with what to say to that - how to casually tell Cheryl that _she’s_ the reason she started taking the hobby more seriously, not her mom.

Not wanting to ruin the moment by pushing too hard, though, Toni decides to just bashfully play it off. “I’m alright,” she mumbles, tugging lightly at the bottom of the flannel shirt Cheryl’s wearing. “Come on, I’m starting to get claustrophobic in here. Let’s go sit in the living room.”

Cheryl’s eyes drift back to the pictures once more, even as her body sways in the direction Toni’s leading her in, until she finally leaves them behind.

They settle on the couch and drink their tea, opting not to bother with the television in favor of stilted conversation about anything other than what they should be talking about.

Cheryl asks a little more about her photography - if she’s taking any classes for it (now that she’s at Riverdale High, yes) or if she’s planning on pursuing it as a career (currently undecided), while Toni asks her how she and Josie became friends (she was the only girl not scared of Cheryl during Freshman year) and tries to assure her that nobody is going to steal her car while it’s parked outside (she believes her, eventually).

And it’s that last thing that, weirdly, indirectly steers the conversation in the direction it needs to go.

“Your uncle, is he the one…” Cheryl trails off, as if second guessing the tactfulness of bringing up where she might know the man, or bringing him up at all.

But Toni’s pretty much so immune to Jake’s bullshit by now that she doesn’t mind much. “The one that showed up to my grandpa’s funeral drunk off his ass?” she finishes for her with a wry smile. “Yeah, that’s him. He sucks, but he’s around less often than not, so it’s whatever.”

“What about your mother?” the redhead wonders, and something about her tone tells Toni this is a question she’s wanted to ask before, but has only just found her opening. “Is she not… around any longer?”

It takes Toni a second to realize Cheryl’s asking if her mother has died in the past two years, and the very thought of it makes her heart lurch.

She looks at the other girl, who must be taking her silence as confirmation and she looks stricken at the possibility - Karla Topaz always much more of a mother to her than Penelope Blossom had ever been - before Toni shakes the feeling off and explains.

“She lives in Centerville, for work,” Toni reassures her, feeling her own unease quell as Cheryl looks relieved. “She comes back every other weekend. It’s not ideal, but it could be worse.” As soon as the words leave Toni’s mouth, she realizes how insensitive they are; realizes that while_ she_ didn’t lose the most important person in her life anytime recently, Cheryl did. “Fuck, I’m sorry, you know my foot likes to live in my mouth.”

Toni stops herself from reaching out to Cheryl and touching her, somewhere, just to offer her some kind of physical apology, but the redhead just waves it off with a small, pained smile.

She’s sure Cheryl’s used to hearing much worse, and it’s not like the wound is overly fresh, but still; it feels like she just rubbed salt it in, either way.

“What did Jughead tell you all?” Cheryl asks after a few moments of heavy silence, breaking it with something even heavier. “About my little episode back there?”

Toni shifts uncomfortably, curling her legs up beneath her as she tries to gauge where this is going to go. She’s wanted to get to know this version of Cheryl for weeks, and now that it seems like it might be happening, she’s not sure she’s entirely prepared.

“I’m sorry about that, by the way,” she offers first, because she needs to say it, but also because she wants to prolong the rest of it. “For just standing by and letting that happen to you.”

Cheryl gives her a tight smile. “It’s okay,” she tells her sincerely. “You didn’t know it was a trigger.”

As much as Toni wants to argue, because her guilt is still gnawing at her, she doesn’t. Instead, she sucks it up and answers Cheryl’s question.

“Jughead didn’t tell us a whole lot,” she shares, because even though it was more straight up information than Toni’s gotten from anyone else since stumbling back into Cheryl’s life, she still somehow knows that wasn’t the whole story - especially if Cheryl just used Jason and his death as a segue into the topic. “Just about the accident; falling through the ice and almost drowning. He didn’t go into specifics or anything.”

Watching Cheryl’s face, Toni expects her to be relieved, or something close to it, but instead, the curve of her lips make her look more like she’s disappointed; like maybe she’d been hoping Jughead would have told Toni so she didn’t have to.

The thought has her sitting up straighter, or maybe it’s what Cheryl says next, but either way, Toni feels the cold water of Sweetwater River running through her own veins when the other girl tells her, “It wasn’t an accident.”

The words send a shiver down her spine, and that cold water turns to ice.

“_What?_” Toni breathes out, and it’s just an instinct, because she heard her loud, and painfully, clear.

“Falling through the ice,” she clarifies needlessly, and even though she’s trying to play it down, like it’s not this huge, devastating thing - and maybe it isn’t to her - Cheryl still speaks softly and kindly, like she gets that maybe it is to Toni.

“Cher…” is all Toni can choke out after that gut punch. Her eyes are wide and already watery, her hand shaking as she curls it into a fist in her lap.

“Well, I suppose technically, in that moment, it may have been,” Cheryl considers, more to herself, continuing on even though Toni’s still trying to catch her breath. “It gave way beneath me when I was contemplating a return to shore, but…” She trails off before she can finish, sucking in a breath as the story finally starts to take a toll. “I went out there with the intention of falling through.”

“Cheryl,” Toni’s voice cracks, and this time she’s not able to stop herself from scooting closer on the couch and reaching over, gently hooking her pinky finger around Cheryl’s. She’s a little surprised that the other girl lets it happen, but then again, maybe she’s not; it’s all part of another step forward. “_Why?_”

“It was after my father killed himself, after all the sordid details of his dealings came to light,” the red haired girl explains, voice small and her gaze drifting down to their pinkies for a moment, as she gathers her bearings before she looks up and meets Toni’s gaze again to continue; finally saying his name. “After the truth of what he’d done to Jason was uncovered. It was all just too much, and Mumsie certainly offered no comfort and you…” Cheryl’s not ready to say _that_ out loud yet, though. “I was all alone. And I just wanted to be with Jason again.”

Toni gets that, as much as it hurts.

She remembers her own shock when she’d heard who Jason’s killer was; remembers that visceral reaction she had to hearing Clifford Blossom’s name attached to his son’s death, and then immediately after, to his own - a feeling of revulsion and nausea, second only to hearing of the Serpents’ role in the same thing.

“I texted you,” the pink haired girl says suddenly, as soon as the dots on the timeline connect. Cheryl’s hand twitches beside her own, but still stays where it is as Toni looks up at the other girl imploringly, dreading the answer, even though she’s not sure which would be worse. “So, my texts, they were…?”

“Before,” she answers quietly, immediately knowing which texts Toni’s talking about; they were the last ones she ever sent and the first ones the other girl ever replied to, so how could she not? “The day before, to be precise.” Cheryl unhooks her pinky to take Toni’s whole hand in her own and then adds her other one to the pile in her lap, sensing where Toni’s mind is running off to. “I had already made up my mind by then.”

It’s supposed to be comforting, Toni knows that, but it’s really not.

She closes her eyes and thinks of their text thread, pictures those words in those bubbles - the ones that have haunted her for almost a year.

“So when you told me to stop and said you couldn’t do this anymore, you meant…” Toni can’t bring herself to finish her thought, but the way Cheryl squeezes her hand tells her that she doesn’t have to.

“I didn’t mean your messages,” she confirms gently, thumb brushing just as gently over the back of the hand between hers. “Truthfully, it was getting that message from you that almost made me reconsider, for the briefest of moments.” Toni’s heart clenches at the very thought - that maybe, if she’d ignored Cheryl’s pleas to stop and found the right thing to say in that moment, she might have been able to prevent it from ever happening. “But in the end, it just served as a reminder of another thing I’d lost.”

_I didn’t know about Jason, I swear to God I didn’t know_, Toni had texted the day she heard the truth from Sweet Pea.

While there’d been rumblings and accusations, she knew better than to believe everything she heard about the Serpents, but hearing the full story that day - finding out Jason Blossom had been held captive and tortured for a week just beneath her feet, before he was ultimately murdered by his own father and then stuffed into a freezer by the man she's supposed to follow…

Toni had thrown up almost immediately - running to the bathroom and collapsing to the dirty floor of the bar as she emptied the contents of her stomach, before she pulled out her phone in shaking hands and texted Cheryl through her tears.

“I don’t know what to say,” Toni admits as she brings herself back to the present, her shoulders slumping as she drops her head against the back of the couch and just _looks_ at Cheryl, a tear or two finally falling. “I’m so sorry, Cher.”

She means for everything - the Serpents' role in Jason’s murder and his death all together; for what she went through that day a year ago at Sweetwater River and what she relived this afternoon; for not being able to stop any of it.

(She’s also sorry for not forcing her way past Penelope the afternoon of Jason’s funeral, when she showed up in the nicest black clothes she owned, determined to pay her respects to the boy who was like a brother to her before the Serpents were, only to get blocked at the door and sent back to the Southside by his mother, for the second time in her short life.

It’s just another thing Toni swallows her urge to say out loud - at least for today.)

“It’s not your fault,” the redhead promises again, reaching up to dry Toni’s cheeks with a couple soft brushes of her knuckle before she drops her hand again. “I actually think _I’m_ the one who owes you an apology. That day in the washroom - your first day at Riverdale High - I was cruel to you.”

Toni scoffs, that day the last thing on her mind at the moment. “Hey, I get it, Cher. Jason -”

“It wasn’t about Jason, at least not wholly,” Cheryl interrupts her, fingering the pink bracelet on Toni’s wrist. “He was just an excuse. Yes, it still stings a pinch when someone mentions him - especially someone as familiar with him as you - and perhaps hearing you discuss his death and your knowledge of it caused a nasty side of myself to emerge, but…” She licks her lips as she takes a pause, as if debating whether to continue, before she does. “If I’m being honest, I was attempting to push you away, as quickly and efficiently as possible, before you could get too close.”

The confession doesn’t exactly shock Toni, but it’s not totally expected, either.

It was always a possibility for her - which doesn’t say much, since it feels like she considered every one possible - but one she hadn’t allowed herself to truly hope was true.

Because really, when has the best case scenario ever happened for her? For _them_?

“So you didn’t hate the Serpents?” Toni feels the need to clarify.

“Well, I certainly wasn’t fond of you, for a plethora of reasons, but not for what happened to Jay Jay,” she explains, offering her a small, but kind, smile. “As a Blossom, I’m frustratingly familiar with what it’s like to be guilty by association; I don’t appreciate being judged for my parents’ evil deeds, so it would be hypocritical of me to judge you many for the actions of a few. If you say you didn't know anything about Jason’s death, I believe you. And I don’t blame you.”

The answer lifts a weight off of Toni’s chest - one that’s been there since that day on the floor of Whyte Wyrm washroom - and though it’s not the only one that’s been weighing her down, she still finds it a little easier to breathe.

“Very mature of you,” she replies teasingly, her voice strained as she tries to lighten the mood, too.

“I have my moments,” Cheryl concedes with a shy smile, pulling her hands from Toni’s to tuck her still damp hair behind her ears. Toni misses the warmth and feeling immediately, clasping her hands together as she pulls them over to her own lap. “Besides, I may be warming up to a few of you - not Gigantor, he’s back at below zero with me.”

Toni laughs lightly, more at the name than the reminder. “Totally understandable,” she allows. “But he did want me to tell you that he’s sorry. Teasing and being a little shit, that’s just how he shows affection.” _Like a brother_, Toni almost adds, but she manages to keep that foot out of her mouth. “It means he likes you. He considers you a friend.”

Cheryl’s face does this thing that makes Toni want to reach over and hug her, the way she looks touched and shocked at the same time; Toni’s heart just aches for her and all she’s been through.

“_Well_,” is all she says at first, her voice strained now too, as she attempts to play off her obvious emotions. “Josie would certainly never throw me into a lake and it’s been a while since I’ve had any other true friends.” They both know she means Toni, but they’ve been emotional enough for one day, and just brush right past it. “So you’ll have to forgive me for not realizing that’s how friendship works these days.”

“That’s how _we_ work,” Toni corrects her with a smile. “And we’re your friends, _all _of us. Even Jughead.” It’s an important statement, but the more important one is hidden within it; the others are Cheryl’s friends _now_, but Toni’s her friend _again._ “Okay?”

And the way Cheryl smiles at her, big and bright and hopeful - openly - tells Toni she’s thinking the same.

“Yes,” she agrees with a simple nod, finally relaxing fully against the couch, but without looking away from Toni. “I suppose that’s okay by me.”

_Friends_.

Toni can work with that.

Cheryl leaves a couple hours later, just as it’s getting dark.

Toni offers to let her crash, and though Cheryl looks tempted to accept her offer, she cites her wicked mother as a good reason for why she can’t.

“I’ll give these back to you at school on Monday,” Cheryl promises as she hovers by the door, fingers pinching the worn material of Toni's favorite plaid shirt.

“Don’t worry about it,” she assures her, finally letting herself fully enjoy the view of Cheryl wearing her clothes. It’s something she used to see a lot growing up, but the sight has never made her feel like_ this_.

(Just officially became friends again, and already she’s wanting for more.

Though, honestly, she never did stop.)

“Thank you for today,” Cheryl whispers, hesitating for only a moment before she takes a step forward to close the gap between them and wrap her arms around Toni’s smaller frame.

Toni’s breath hitches as she’s embraced, and she feels any remnants of the ice in her veins from earlier melt away from the warmth of it.

She brings her own arms up to wrap around Cheryl’s back as she smiles over her shoulder. “Today was a shit show, Blossom.”

She feels Cheryl’s laughter against her chest before she hears it, and when the redhead pulls away - all too painfully soon - she’s sporting a matching smile.

“It wasn’t so bad,” she replies, almost wistfully, looking like a weight has been lifted off of her, too.

Toni spends the rest of the weekend on a high.

She’s still buzzing when she walks into school on Monday morning, and when she spots the red threaded bracelet around Cheryl’s wrist - the one that matches the pink one around her own - as she hands her back her clothes in second period, Toni thinks her face might split in half, she smiles so wide.

“Thanks again, T.T.,” Cheryl tells her casually and with none of the heaviness from their last conversation; their hands brushing slightly as they make the transfer, before the redhead saunters away again.

“_Damn_, Tiny,” Sweet Pea whistles from beside her, not sitting with Josie today and having watched the entire exchange with a grin. “No wonder you’re in such a good mood,” he teases. “Looks like I didn’t_ totally_ fuck up, after all. You’re welcome. Guess we’re even now, huh?”

Toni only stops staring at Cheryl so she can punch him.

And as she settles back into her seat and listens to him groan through his laughter, the fluttering feeling in her chest feels like more than just hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, they're officially friends and you know what stage comes after that :) We won't be jumping right into that, of course, I plan on exploring the friends stage a bit, but I'm really excited to write the second half of this fic. Please let me know what you thought - favorite parts, favorite dynamics besides Choni, predictions for the future, etc - or leave some kudos, whatever. And in the meantime, you can find me on Twitter (@mylittlefaith) or Tumblr (@cherbombshells) if you have any questions or wanna chat.


	5. It's Nice To Have A Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Sorry for the extra long wait for this one, but it's the longest chapter yet (13k words) so I'm hoping that makes up for it.  
ii) Next chapter will take even longer, as I'll be devoting my writing time to a fic exchange for the next month and a bit.  
iii) There was originally a third section to this chapter, but it was already getting long, so that will be moved to next chapter.  
iv) Thanks again for all great feedback last chapter, it's appreciated more than you know. Please keep it coming!  
v) Nick is here, so you know the trigger warning needed. But it's more like _discussions_ of attempted assault.  
vi) Please go check out endofdaysforme's [new fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21304421) because it's gonna be _amazing!_

It’s been a couple of weeks since that fateful afternoon, when they turned hardship into headway, and Toni’s finally starting to get used to the new normal.

As it turns out, being friends with Cheryl _now_ is a lot different than being friends with her _then_.

A lot of things have changed, of course, and so have they, but it’s more than that.

There’s this_ thing _hanging over them now that wasn’t there before - this elephant sized _thing_ \- that no matter how much they try to ignore, doesn’t ever really go away.

Still, even if they can never get back what they used to have, that doesn’t mean they can’t build something new, instead.

Maybe not better - Toni doesn’t think anything could ever beat those formative years they spent together, attached at the hip - but it can be just as good.

(Different.)

She tries not to think about it too much, though.

Progress finally happened when she stopped, and Toni’s come too far to backslide now.

That elephant can take up as much of the room as it wants, but it’s not crushing her anymore, so she’s learnt to live with it.

(“You ever gonna tell us what went down with you two?” Sweet Pea or Fangs always ask her, though.

Jughead is a lot of things - including nosy, usually - but at least he’s got the tact not to join in, even though Toni knows his inquiring mind is dying to know, too.

“Nope,” Toni always answers with a pop of the _p_ and a smile.

She probably will tell the boys at least some of the story one day, when both she and Cheryl are ready to tell it, but until then, it’s fun to drive them crazy; they deserve it.)

Their new normal didn’t come all at once, but instead was a gradual shift - one Cheryl continued to dictate the pace of.

The first time they hung out alone together, under non-trauma induced circumstances, it had been the redhead who extended the invitation.

It had just been to eat lunch outside in the quad - and more of an attempt to avoid Sweet Pea after his immature antics - but it had felt special, all the same, and it didn’t feel any less so the second time around, either.

That’s how it started, just hanging out at school, until Cheryl invited her to see a movie on the weekend. Her mother was home that week, which usually meant staying in on Friday and Saturday night, if she wasn’t working, but of course Toni didn’t think twice about accepting.

Her mother more than understood.

She’d asked after Cheryl too, but the Northsider hadn’t been ready for that reunion just yet, apparently, because she opted to meet at the Bijou instead of picking Toni up; her mother understood that, too.

“You tell her_ hi_ for me, okay?” she had made Toni promise before she left. “And that I hope to see her soon.”

Toni had only delivered the first message, because the second one felt like some kind of pressure, and Cheryl had smiled all demurely, clearly touched, and returned the sentiment with a sincerity that made the Serpent’s chest ache and flutter in that way she’d been becoming all too familiar with.

After that, hanging out with Cheryl - in school and outside of it - became a lot more common, but never routine.

It seems like no matter how much time they spend together, or what they do, Toni still hasn’t quite gotten used to the idea that this is real; that Cheryl Blossom is her friend again.

(Maybe not her _best_ friend, not yet, she tells herself, but they’ve got time.)

Even today - Saturday - the girls are dropping by Shabby Road Studios to sit in on Josie’s recording session that Cheryl had set up, before going to Moon Palace for dinner after, and Toni’s spent all morning looking forward to it like it’s a date.

It’s definitely not, she knows that - doesn’t even want to pretend it is, because her expectations are best when they’re managed - but she can’t control how she feels.

“Have you had the pleasure of hearing Josie sing before today?” Cheryl asks her as they make their way towards the studio’s entrance.

Toni shakes her head as she reaches the door and holds it open for her friend. “Not yet,” she answers, waiting to follow Cheryl through and letting her lead the rest of the way. “She offered to play me a couple of Pussycat demos, but I wanted to hear the real thing first, you know?”

That, and Toni was worried she’d hate it and have to offer the girl feedback on the spot, and she wasn’t confident in her ability to bullshit Josie like that. At least this way she’ll have time to come up with something if she’s not into it.

“Oh, then you’re in for a real treat,” Cheryl beams, a little spring in her step as she walks down the hall, walls lined with records and album covers of people Toni has never heard of. “The Pussycats are going places, they’re absolutely _phenomenal_.”

“Okay, fangirl, be careful with the hype,” Toni teases, though she has to admit that the other girl’s enthusiasm is infectious. “What are you, their publicist or something?”

Cheryl rolls her eyes playfully, but her smile doesn’t falter. “Merely a fan,” she assures her, stopping outside a door that Toni assumes Josie and the Pussycats are behind. “I’ve even sang with them a couple times,” she boasts.

“Shame I missed that,” the Southsider laughs, though she genuinely means it; Cheryl might not have the best voice ever, but Toni’s sure that what she lacked in raw talent, she more than made up for in performance.

The redhead’s lips curl up a little more as she twists the knob of the door. “Perhaps I’ll give you an encore one day.”

Toni certainly wouldn’t say no to that.

But before she can voice that thought - probably in the form of flirtatious banter she’d later swear she doesn’t partake in - the sound from the recording studio finds them in the hallway, and what they hear is distinctly _not _feminine.

“Since when is there a male Pussycat?” Toni wonders, sharing a look with the other girl before she pushes the door the rest of the way open, and they’re greeted by the sight of Josie in the booth with Archie, instead of Valerie and Melody. _Well, then_. “Did you know he’d be here?”

“I hadn’t a clue,” Cheryl answers, eyes narrowing in on the pair behind the glass, who haven’t noticed their presence yet.

She’s surprised by the sight, that much is obvious, but Toni can sense something else there too, though she can’t quite put her finger on it.

Still, Cheryl says nothing more as she tugs Toni in the direction of the couch behind the staff members gathered around the sound board, and the two of them settle in to observe the process.

It isn’t until a little later, when the session’s over and the singers come out of the booth, that Toni realizes Josie wasn’t expecting them to drop by.

“I didn’t know you guys were coming,” is the first thing she says as she steps through the door, Archie trailing behind her with a smile on his face.

“Clearly,” the redhead scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest and pointedly looking away as her friend takes the time to speak with her producers before giving her further attention.

Toni looks between the girl beside her and the girl they’ve come to visit, and while she doesn’t really get the sudden tension in the room, she still moves a little closer to Cheryl’s side to offer her a little bit of comfort, if she needs it.

Cheryl seems to relax just a bit as their shoulders brush, but she’s still visibly huffy until the studio employees leave the four of them alone.

“Cheryl,” Josie starts as she approaches, picking up on the girl’s obvious mood.

But Cheryl doesn’t give her much of a chance. “Can I speak with you in the hallway for a moment?”

Her tone is pointed and leaves no room for argument, and while Josie complies and follows her towards the door, Toni has to give her credit for her nerves of steel, because she doesn’t look particularly bothered.

She looks at the closed door for a moment, as if she’ll be able to see or hear whatever’s being said on the other side of it if she stares hard enough, until Archie is clearing his throat and reminding her of his presence.

“‘Sup, Andrews?” Toni acknowledges him with a nod, and that ache of gratitude that she’s felt everytime she’s seen him since finding out he saved Cheryl’s life hasn’t dulled at all. “Sounded pretty good in there.”

The boy’s face lights up in a dopey grin. “Hey, thanks,” he replies, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet. “It’s all Josie, though. She’s really been helping me with my music stuff lately.”

“Oh yeah?” Toni questions, her mind immediately going to Sweet Pea and his recent whining and worrying about how busy and distant Josie’s been, and the way she still won’t commit to a relationship.

He hasn’t mentioned anything about Archie, though, and it has Toni wondering if he’s aware of how his not-girlfriend has been spending her time away from him.

It also has her wondering if that’s the source of the tension coming from Cheryl, and if she’s just slow on the uptake. But she kinda doubts the Northsider would be too worried about Sweet Pea’s feelings, especially considering she still hasn’t fully forgiven him for his swimming hole antics yet.

But before Toni can _wonder _anything else, the studio door is thrown open and Cheryl marching back inside.

“Everything okay?”

Cheryl tosses her hair over her shoulder exaggeratedly, before she flashes her a bright smile. “Everything’s splendid, T.T.,” she insists, but one look at Josie’s rolling eyes behind her says a different story. “Are you ready to bounce? Josie won’t be joining us for dinner.”

She wasn’t aware Josie was ever supposed to, but judging by her haughty tone, she’s probably just trying to make a point, with all of her usual subtlety.

Either way, Toni is more than ready to get out of there. “Yeah, let’s go,” she agrees easily, offering Archie a wave and Josie a smile as she makes her exit, tugging on the redhead’s arm as she passes, so she doesn’t stick around to say anything else.

Cheryl loves to get the last word in, after all.

But she reins herself in this time, and instead just silently follows Toni out.

Cheryl is obviously bothered the entire car ride to the Moon Palace, but it isn’t until they’re seated and have made their order that she finally speaks of it, and only because she’s prompted.

“So, are we gonna talk about what that was all about back there or...?” Toni finally asks, leveling Cheryl with a look that lets her know she won’t take a brush off again.

So the redhead sighs and grits her teeth, only letting a flash of annoyance slip into her features before she’s playing it off.

“I had booked that studio time with the impression that Josie would use it to record the Pussycats’ future chart topping single, not to reinstall Archie’s confidence in his subpar music, bless his pure heart,” she explains as she reaches for her water and takes the straw between her red lips.

The words sound entitled and petty enough to be true, but Toni can tell they’re not; she’s not sure what it is, but she just knows there’s more to it than that.

But, she doesn’t think she cares enough to push it, either.

Whatever it is, it’s most likely between Cheryl and Josie, and if the redhead wants to talk about it, she’ll listen, but until then, Toni would rather just enjoy their time together.

Whatever the issue is, it seems to resolve itself by Monday, because Toni doesn’t notice any lingering tension between Cheryl and Josie at school; they’re even sitting together at their regular table in the cafeteria when she, Sweet Pea and Fangs get there.

“Afternoon, ladies,” Fangs greets the girls as he slips onto the bench across from them, while Sweet Pea presses a kiss to Josie’s forehead before joining him. Toni elects to sit down on the other side of Cheryl, to nobody’s surprise. “How was everyone’s weekend?”

“Adequate,” Cheryl offers disinterestedly, and Toni might have been offended if the redhead’s answer didn’t come with a playful nudge of her elbow in her ribs.

“Spent some time in the studio,” Josie answers, so casually that Toni almost wonders if she made up all that tension in her head. “Laid down a couple tracks.”

“You never sent ‘em to me,” Sweet Pea reminds her as he steals an apple slice from her tray, and even though his tone isn’t accusatory at all, Toni can’t help but take note of the information.

Especially when Josie’s reply comes after a slight pause, “Just waiting until they’re perfect.”

But before Toni can give it much more thought, Cheryl’s pointing out the newest arrivals making their way towards the table.

“Sweet Cousin,” she smiles at Betty, then shifts her gaze to the boy at her side. “Sweet Hobo.”

Toni bites back a laugh at the greeting, and the way Jughead grits his teeth at it; Cheryl’s been a lot more friendly with him since that day at the swimming hole a couple of weeks ago, but in her own Cheryl way. She obviously appreciates what he did for her, and thus has thawed a little towards him, but he’s still Jughead, so.

(To balance it out, she’s been directing more of her snark towards Sweet Pea in the meantime, much to his chagrin.)

“What’s with the pensive looks?” Toni wonders as the couple sits down across from her, immediately noting that Jughead doesn’t have any food with him - a major red flag that something’s up.

“Jug’s dad called,” Betty answers for her boyfriend when he takes too long to speak for himself, and Toni doesn’t miss the way her eyes flicker to Cheryl momentarily before shooting back to her.

Jughead clears his throat and his mouth looks like it can’t decide which way it wants to slants when he follows it up. “He said his lawyer told him it’s looking good; he could be out as early as the end of the month.”

“Return of the King!” Fangs immediately cheers, slamming his fist against the table top a couple of times like he’s five drinks deep at the Whyte Wyrm.

He doesn’t stop until Sweet Pea’s elbow digs into his ribs, a lot harder than Cheryl’s did hers. “Shut up, man.”

“Why?” Fangs laughs, pausing his obnoxious banging for a moment. “This calls for a celebration!”

“Are you braindead?” the taller boy hisses, grabbing a fistful of his friend’s leather jacket and pulling him closer, lowering his voice out of courtesy, but not enough that Toni can’t hear it from across the table. “Did you forget why F.P.’s been locked up?”

Toni’s hand instinctively goes to Cheryl’s back, as if to steady her from a hit that’s got to barely feel like a pinch after everything she’s been through, and she’s gotta give Sweet Pea props for having the presence of mind to try to be sensitive of Cheryl’s feelings.

Maybe he really did learn something that day, even if Fangs didn’t.

Because it takes him a couple beats too long to understand what the other Serpent is implying. “Oh shit,” he cringes in realization, baring his teeth as he looks sheepishly over at the stiff redhead, while the couple at his side avoid doing the same. “Sorry, Cheryl.”

But of course, Cheryl, in front of all these people, pretends it’s okay, even though they all know it’s not. “It’s quite alright, Fangs,” she insists, even as she moves to get up from the table. “But if you’ll excuse me, I have some Vixens I need to speak with, or possibly yell at.” Everyone watches as she gets to her feet, but nobody tries to stop her as she turns to leave. “Toodles.”

The awkward silence doesn’t get a chance to last for long before Josie is turning to follow Cheryl, but Toni is quicker to move.

“I got her,” she assures the other girl, stopping her with a hand to the shoulder. Toni grabs the sandwich Cheryl left behind as she stands up, and she’s sure to offer the guilty looking beanie wearing boy a strained, but sincere smile. “Congrats, Jug.”

Toni might not think too highly of F.P. herself - hasn’t since he confessed to his role in Jason’s death and its cover up, and even less so after recent discoveries - but she knows how important he is to her friend, and she’s happy for _him_, at least.

But he’s not the one that needs her right now, so Toni leaves him behind to search for Cheryl.

It doesn’t take her long to find her at all, considering she’s just at her locker.

“I don’t see a trail of Vixen bodies,” Toni jokes in way of a greeting, keeping the mood light even as she calls the girl out on her transparent excuse. “So I’m guessing that story wasn’t entirely true.”

“The bitches all scattered as soon as they saw me approaching,” Cheryl claims, and while the image isn’t exactly hard for Toni to picture, it’s not one she buys. But she knows Cheryl knows that already, so she lets her have the pretense until she’s ready to acknowledge the real circumstances. “You didn’t have to come after me,” she says softly a few beats later, as she closes her locker without actually doing anything in there and leans against it.

Toni would have laughed it off, if she didn’t know Cheryl genuinely meant it - even if it’s just because she’s probably not used to having someone do it anymore. “I wanted to,” she assures her, reaching out to tug at the bottom of the redhead’s matching red shirt. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Lunch hour is already half over,” Cheryl points out half-heartedly, but clearly wanting to.

“So we’ll skip,” Toni shrugs, moving her fingers up to wrap themselves around her friend’s wrist, over her red bracelet, and shake her arm. “Come on, I’m sure your perfect attendance can stand to miss half a day.”

“Do you not understand the concept of _perfect_?”

Toni laughs gently. “Come on, Cher,” she says again, easing any teasing out of her tone as she softens her features. “I know you don’t wanna be here right now.”

And just like that, whatever was left of Cheryl’s defenses lower right before Toni’s eyes, and she bows her head before nodding, welcoming Toni’s hand in hers when she moves it down from her wrist.

“You’re right,” she admits quietly, looking at her through her lashes. “Okay.”

Toni tangles their fingers together and squeezes, leading her out of the school.

They end up in Pickens Park, taking a walk in comfortable silence - Cheryl lost in her own thoughts and Toni thinking of her grandfather, and the true story of the man immortalized here - until they find a bench that they both just naturally gravitate to.

“Who knew there were so many old people on the Southside,” Toni jokes as she drops down onto the bench and pulls a leg up underneath herself so she can face the redhead when she sits down beside her.

The park is full of seniors walking their dogs or doing other old people stuff, and they stand out as the youngest ones around, but nobody really looks twice at them.

Here is as good a place as any for this conversation, if Cheryl wants to have it, but Toni’s okay with just sitting here together, too.

Ever since the silences between them stopped being awkward - elephant or not - she’s found she can enjoy them almost as much as their conversations.

“I’m sorry for raining on the parade back at school,” Cheryl finally says, speaking softly and not quite meeting her gaze; she looks like she’s looking past her, instead of _at_ her. “I know how important it is for you all to have your Serpent King back, particularly Jughead, and I should be happy for you, as your friend.”

“Hey, no, not at all, Cher,” Toni insists, craning her neck until she catches Cheryl’s eyes. “What F.P. did…” Toni doesn’t even know what to say about it - hasn’t for a year. “It was beyond fucked up, and you don’t have to be happy that he’s getting out. I know you testified for him - forgave him and told them how your dad threatened Jughead - but that doesn’t mean you have to be perfectly fine now that it’s actually happening.”

Toni had been shocked to hear of Cheryl’s testimony on behalf of her leader; with Clifford and Mustang dead and Joaquin skipping town, F.P. had been her only shot at getting justice.

For Cheryl to forgive him - to_ testify_ for him - it never made sense to Toni; she never could have done it.

And just as she’s considering asking the other girl about it, she’s beaten to the punch.

“That wasn’t true,” Cheryl admits in a whisper, her brown eyes widening just a bit as she realizes what she’s saying.

And she’s not the only one. “What?”

“What I said on the stand,” she elaborates, a little less hesitantly. “None of it was true.”

“Cher, what do you mean?” Toni questions a little too eagerly, shifting closer on the bench before she can rein herself in. “Your dad didn’t threaten Jug?”

She’d been clinging to that fact for months now - it was the only thing keeping her from completely resenting her King for his involvement in Jason’s death.

For it to not be true, for him to have made the choice to do it… Toni’s not sure she could look past that.

“He didn’t threaten Jughead and I didn’t forgive him,” Cheryl clarifies, a surprising lack of malice in her voice. It’s not emotionless, there’s _something_ there, for sure, but it’s restrained, whatever it is. “I still don’t.”

It’s such a small piece of information, almost inconsequential compared to all the other answers she’s been seeking, but it’s hard for Toni to process.

So she doesn’t.

Instead of trying to work out what this means for her already complicated feelings for F.P. Jones, Toni focuses on what it means for the girl in front of her.

“But then why did you say that?” she questions, no trace of judgement in her tone. She trusts that Cheryl had her reasons, and she doesn’t even need to know what they are, but it seems like she wants to share it, and Toni’s always willing to listen. “Why would you help F.P. out like that if none of it was true?”

“I had no choice,” Cheryl sighs, the brown eyes she finally directs at Toni getting a little watery. “At least no good one. I was blackmailed.”

Toni’s stomach clenches as a million scenarios run through her head; none of them comforting.

Getting F.P. off on his charges was something she’d heard the Serpents discussing on more than one occasion, and as much as she loves her surrogate family, she has no illusions about the lengths they’re willing to go...

“_Who_?” she dares to ask, her need to know greater than her fear of it.

“My dear cousin,” Cheryl reveals, and it’s about the last thing Toni had expected. “There’s a video of my father killing Jay Jay, shooting him in the head.” The smoking gun - no pun intended - that finally revealed the killer, Toni remembers reading about it in paper. “She threatened to upload it onto the internet, for all the world to see, if I didn’t testify on behalf of her future father-in-law. I couldn’t allow that to happen; Jason didn’t deserve that.”

The truth lands heavy on Toni’s chest, and twists her insides up; she feels sick.

No, Jason didn’t deserve that, and neither did Cheryl.

“Cher, that’s…” The words escape Toni once again. “God, I don’t even know what that is. It’s _awful_.”

It’s more than that - so much more - but Toni doesn’t have Cheryl’s vocabulary.

“It’s done,” is what it is, according to Cheryl. “Or rather it _was_.” She shakes her head as she’s reminded of what prompted this conversation in the first place, suddenly looking a different kind of defeated. “Now I finally have to live with the consequences, I suppose.”

But Toni can’t quite move past this newest bit of information yet.

“I can’t believe Betty did that to you,” she mutters, almost to herself. _I can’t believe you just hang out with her now, like it didn’t happen,_ is left unsaid.

Cheryl sighs and tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, as she tries to find the words to explain herself, like she even needs to.

“She did something horrible for someone she loved,” the redhead finally replies. “I think of Jason or of y-” She cuts herself off before she finishes the thought, but Toni’s pretty sure she knows what the rest of it was; now isn’t the time to celebrate that victory, though. “I think of those I hold most dear, and I can’t say I wouldn’t do something just as heinous for them. Can you?”

Toni thinks of the Serpents - of the group she pledged to die for - and she knows she’d do almost anything for them.

And then she thinks of her mother and of Cheryl, the two people she loves most in the entire world, and there’s no _almost_ about it.

“I guess not,” she hates to admit, but it doesn’t mean she’s not gonna have to stop herself from punching Betty in the face the next time she sees her. “That’s still _so _messed up. I’m sorry that happened to you, Bombshell.”

But Cheryl’s back to shrugging it off. “I suppose it was fair play, and somewhat poetic, a Cooper blackmailing a Blossom,” she comments offhandedly.

“Why do you say that?” Toni wonders, feeling like it’s important, somehow.

And judging by the way Cheryl tenses at her question, she’s not wrong. “No reason,” she insists, waving it off and smacking her palms on her thighs. “Now, come on, T.T., let’s get out of here, lest we age a few decades. Fancy a trip to Pop’s?”

Toni isn’t ready to drop the subject yet, but Cheryl’s already made that choice, and she isn’t about to argue with her.

So she just offers Cheryl her hand and allows herself to be pulled to her feet, before they start the journey back to the car.

They spend the rest of the afternoon commandeering a corner booth, drinking milkshakes, eating dinner and talking about things a lot lighter than they did in the park.

The heaviest the conversation gets is when Toni mentions she’s considering trying out for the Vixens, which isn’t met with the laughter she expected it to be.

“Why the sudden interest in cheerleading?” Cheryl questions out of pure curiosity. “Other than the pretty girls in short skirts, I mean.”

It’s a joke, obviously, but it’s also the first time she’s openly acknowledged Toni’s sexuality, which makes it the closest she’s come to acknowledging _that_ aspect of their past.

But she says it so casually, like for once she’s not overthinking anything, and Toni doesn’t want to ruin the moment by pushing it too far, so she just moves past it.

“It would look good on my college applications,” she answers, which isn’t untrue, but not the whole truth, either. “My grades are great - natural academic here, as you so kindly remembered - but Southside High wasn’t exactly brimming with extracurriculars.”

She also wants to spend more time with Cheryl, of course, but she’s sure the other girl can guess that, so it’s not something she has to say out loud.

“Mhmm,” Cheryl hums at her answer, and Toni can practically see her biting her tongue to keep some snarky Southside comment from coming out.

“C’mon,” Toni laughs, rolling her eyes fondly. “I know you’re dying to say it.”

“No, no,” the redhead insists, displaying more resolve than Toni thought she was capable of. “I think it’s a splendid idea, T. But I do have one condition.”

Toni’s mouth settles into a smile as she raises an eyebrow. “It’s not a blood oath, is it? Because not even my literal _gang_ made me do one of those.”

“You have to sign up for the Blue & Gold as well,” Cheryl replies simply, folding her hands on top of the table and leaning forward to show she means business.

That’s about the last thing Toni expected her to say, and it throws her for a loop.

Sure, she’d almost been part of the school paper back on the Southside, after Jughead tried to get the Red & Black off the ground again when he first transferred, but nothing ever really came of it for various unsavoury reasons.

“But why?” she questions, not exactly opposed to the idea, but just wondering.

“You’re extremely talented, Toni,” Cheryl tells her, and while it’s a sweet thing to say, she states it more like it’s a fact than a compliment. “And even if you don’t wish to pursue it as a profession, your pictures are beautiful - and I don’t just mean the dozens you’ve taken of me; they deserve to be seen. And being a member of the school newspaper staff would also look superb on your applications.”

They’re all good points - not to mention sweet - and now Cheryl’s breaking her matter-of-fact approach to give Sweet Pea’s pout game a run for its money.

“Okay, I’ll consider it,” she relents, and she will; once her urge to punch Betty in the face passes, or at least dies down a little.

“Excellent,” Cheryl beams, and it’s such a nice sight after earlier, that she could probably get Toni to agree to just about anything to keep seeing it. “And there will be a spot waiting for you on my squad once you have.” She pauses to consider. “Well, you’d have to audition, of course, but merely for appearance’s sake; I can’t have my Vixens thinking I’m playing favorites.”

Toni just agrees with a nod and tries to hide her smile around the straw of her chocolate milkshake, content to listen to Cheryl ramble on about any and everything being a Vixen entails.

The fact that she doesn’t regret asking to join after hearing it all, is a true testament to how in love with this girl she still is, even after all these years.

Which isn’t exactly brand new information, but still.

_Fuck._

The elephant just got bigger and a lot harder to ignore.

They don’t go their separate ways until Toni needs to leave for work, and even then, she would have invited Cheryl to come hang out during her shift if the Whyte Wyrm wasn’t the site of her brother’s brutal murder.

She’s never said anything or begrudged Toni for working or hanging out there, but it goes without saying that she has no plans of ever visiting her friend’s place of employment.

And that’s fine - Toni completely gets it - but it still makes her miss the redhead whenever she sees Betty hanging around the bar with Jughead, or Josie, on the rare nights she comes with Sweet Pea.

Neither girl is there tonight, though, thankfully; just the boys, who all offered Toni their apologies for what happened at lunch, even though she’s not who they need to apologize to.

“What’d you guys end up doing after you ditched?” Fangs asks her as he waits for her to mix his drink, popping a couple peanuts into his mouth.

Toni shrugs. “Not much,” she answers distractedly, skillfully topping off the glass and sliding it towards her friend. “We just hung out.” Which is the truth, but somehow only feels like half of it.

But Fangs accepts his answer with his drink, and offers her his thanks with a tip of his glass before he disappears into the crowd to find Sweet Pea and Jughead somewhere across the bar.

And as Toni watches him go, she feels her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans, signalling a new text.

_Thank you for today, Toni_, the message from _Bombshell_ (with a cherry emoji, of course) reads. _You have no idea how badly I needed it._

_Anytime, Cher_, Toni quickly texts back with a smile that stays on her lips for the rest of the night.

(What she really means is: _I would do anything for you_.)

*

“That sounds like a great idea, bug,” is her mother’s predictable reply when she mentions the newspaper thing over breakfast that Saturday morning. “You know how much I love your pictures.”

Toni rolls her eyes and wonders why she even bothered asking when she knew she’d just echo what Cheryl had said earlier in the week.

“_You’re_ advocating I work under a Cooper?” she shoots back, twisting the topic into something it’s not, even though she knows it’s a sore subject for the older woman. “_Really?_”

Now her mother rolls her eyes, seeing right through her and not raising to her bait. “You can’t hold Betty accountable for something her mother did.”

“Believe me, she’s done plenty of things herself that I’m holding against her,” Toni assures her with a scoff, stabbing her hashbrowns a little harder than necessary in the process.

Yes, she’s still pissed at Betty for something that happened months ago, but someone should be, so if Cheryl won’t, she will.

“Whatever it is, I doubt it’s worth throwing away an opportunity for,” her mother advises all maturely; it’s annoying.

“I guess,” Toni mumbles begrudgingly, pushing her food around her plate before finally eating some of it.

Her mother laughs gently at her behavior, passing her the rest of her bacon as she shares more of her hard earned life lessons.

“Things in life are hardly ever as simple as they seem, baby,” she reminds her, because it’s not something Toni hasn’t heard before and learned herself the hard way. “We’re all just trying to do our best, and sometimes that means someone else gets a little burnt in the process.”

Toni’s not sure if she’s talking about Betty or Alice or something else entirely, but all that really matters is that she hears her, and she knows she’s right.

She spends the rest of the weekend considering it, and by Monday, her mother’s - and Cheryl’s - encouragement (and pestering) has paid off.

“You know if Betty’s looking for a photographer for the Blue & Gold?” Toni asks Jughead on their way towards school.

“Definitely,” he confirms, adjust the strap of his bag as they walk through the parking lot. “She’s always asking me to freelance, and while I’m happy to do it, I can’t always.” He glances at her sideways. “Why? You thinking of signing up?”

Toni shrugs, trying to play it down. “Maybe,” she answers, as if she didn’t spend days contemplating it. “I was gonna work on the Red & Black with you before you flaked.”

“I think that was more Mr. Phillip’s fault than mine,” Jughead laughs, bumping her lightly in the shoulder as they reach the steps.

And okay, yes, Toni will concede that their drug lord teacher and faculty adviser getting arrested probably played a bigger role than Jughead getting wrapped up in his Bughead drama.

“So you think I should do it?” she wonders, because even though she doesn’t need a third opinion, one final push couldn’t hurt.

Jughead nods, but stops to consider something before voicing his affirmation. “You definitely should, but wait.” He tugs on Toni’s arm to actually halt their movements and pulls her over to the side of the hall. “Betty’s kinda got a lot going on right now, though. So maybe give her the week before asking her about it?”

“What’s going on?” Toni questions in concern, feeling out of the loop since she’d been giving the blonde the cold shoulder since her talk with Cheryl in the park earlier last week. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine,” Jughead assures her, before he looks like he’s mulling over how much he should share. “It’s just some drama with her family that she’s trying to deal with.”

Toni wouldn’t put it past him to lie to her, but he doesn’t look particularly distressed or troubled for his precious girlfriend, so she can only assume that whatever’s going on with the Coopers is tame for Riverdale standards.

So she agrees without protest. “Sure thing, Jones,” Toni promises her friend, giving him a nod and a smile before she breaks away from him and into the crowded hallway, heading in the direction of her locker.

She finds Cheryl when she gets there, leaning against Josie’s locker and tapping away at her phone, presumably waiting for Toni.

It makes the pink haired Serpent smile as she approaches.

“Hey you,” she greets, playfully poking her in the side as she sneaks up beside her.

Cheryl yelps and quickly squirms away from Toni with a scowl. “It’s distasteful to sneak up on people like that,” she scolds her, but there’s no real bite in her tone. “This is Riverdale, Toni, we’re all traumatized.”

Toni just laughs and gently nudges the other girl out of the way so she can get to her locker. “My bad,” she offers glibly, popping the door open and glancing at the now pouting redhead. “How was your weekend?”

With her mother home the past two days, the girls hadn’t hung out at all, and though they texted a lot, she still feels the desire to ask; she considers telling her about her decision about the paper, and her conversation with Jughead, but decides she’ll wait until she’s actually spoken with Betty.

“Mostly uneventful,” Cheryl answers with a shrug, moving past her indignation. “Homework, perfected some Vixen routines, went to the movies with Josie.”

“You talk to her about the Archie thing yet?” Toni wonders as she shoves a couple books into her bag.

That whole thing had taken a bit of a backseat to F.P.’s potential release last week, but Toni hasn’t forgotten about it, and neither has the other girl.

Cheryl purses her lips and looks like she’s refraining from going on a diatribe. “She assured me she’d tell Sweet Pea about their musical partnership this week,” she shares, not sounding all that convinced. “She also assured me that there’s no funny business going on and that they’re purely professional.”

There’s a silent _but_ at the end of that sentence that makes Toni scoff. “But you don’t believe that,” she finishes for her.

“I believe that Josie would never do anything to purposely hurt another,” Cheryl replies in a huff, bristles out as she defends her friend. “Not that she owes Andre the Giant her exclusivity, considering they are not in a relationship, but need I remind you of the existence of one Veronica Lodge? Josie is no homewrecker.”

Toni tries to bite back her laugh, because she knows it will only get Cheryl more miffed. “Okay, okay, jeez,” she relents, grabbing one last textbook from her locker before closing it and dropping her weight against it. “Sorry I asked.”

She doesn’t even care all that much, because Cheryl’s right; Toni doesn’t take Josie for the cruel or unloyal type, but she’s just trying to look out for her friend because it’s been painfully obvious for weeks that he’s going to get hurt.

Sweet Pea has been wringing his hands about Josie’s unwillingness to commit to a relationship since they started hanging out; Toni just kinda wants to put him out of his misery already, and thinks maybe answers would help.

But she’s not going to upset Cheryl to get them.

Their friends might have been a big part of what brought them back together, but that’s no reason for them to get invested in their problems now.

“It’s fine,” the taller girl sighs, looking like she’s kicking herself for being dramatic - something the Serpent knows she can’t help but be.

“How about we don’t talk about Sweet Pea and Josie?” Toni suggests with an easy smile, nudging Cheryl’s shin with the toe of her boot until she meets her eyes. “We played matchmaker, but whatever they have going on now isn’t on us anymore. We don’t have to get involved.”

It takes a couple moments, but eventually a smile works its way onto Cheryl’s face and she nods. “You’re absolutely right, T.T.,” she agrees. “Their relationship is not our responsibility. And our relationship - our _friend_ship - is not dependent on the success of theirs,” she adds, sounding a little less confident about that second part. “Right?”

And just like that, Cheryl’s overreaction last weekend at the studio makes sense, and makes Toni’s heart do that fluttery thing.

“Not at all, Cher,” she swears to her, shuffling a little closer to her as her voice gets softer. “No matter how badly they go down in flames - and let’s face it, at this rate, they probably will - it’s not gonna change what we’ve rebuilt here, okay?”

Cheryl swallows visibly, her sheepish face turning a little more vulnerable as she looks at Toni with hopeful brown eyes. “Promise?”

Toni all but melts as she holds up her pinky, and Cheryl smiles as she hooks it in her own. “Promise.”

Josie does tell Sweet Pea about all the time she’s been spending with Archie by the next day, and Sweet Pea reacts about as well as Toni expected him to.

He’s not a jealous asshole - he’s jealous, but not an asshole about it - but he’s also not taking it in stride, either.

“You really don’t think I have anything to worry about with Andrews?” Sweet Pea asks her for probably the fifth time in two days.

Toni doesn’t remember ever actually saying that, but she’s not about to argue semantics with the poor guy.

“I think you should stop obsessing over this,” she says instead. “You’re either gonna drive yourself crazy or drive Josie further away.”

She cringes as soon as the words leave her mouth, and any hope that Sweet Pea didn’t catch it is squashed when he whips his head around from staring at Archie and Veronica across the classroom to look at her wide eyes.

“_Further_ away?” he repeats. “You think I’m driving her away?”

Toni sighs and drops her forehead against her hand, considering her words; as much as she doesn’t want to get involved - like she told Cheryl they shouldn’t - she can’t just watch her friend spiral.

And after her conversation with Cheryl, Toni feels like she can tell Sweet Pea something he’s needed to hear for a while now, without having to worry about messing things up with Josie’s best friend.

“I think she was never as close as you wanted her to be,” she finally tells him, delivering her harsh truth as gently as possible.

“So you’re saying something _is_ going on with Andrews?” is all he hears.

Toni sighs again, this time heavier, and practically pleads with her friend to understand. “I’m saying... That I don’t think Archie is the problem here. And I think you know that.”

She watches as Sweet Pea deflates before her eyes; his broad shoulders hunching as he slumps against their bio table in defeat.

He doesn’t ask her about Josie again.

Whatever tension there is between Josie and Sweet Pea is still there by the end of the week, but at least it hasn’t affected the group dynamic too much; it’s not like there hasn’t been friction between Cheryl and Sweet Pea for weeks now.

They either just keep their distance when they’re all together or, like today, Josie opts to spend her time with her other friends, instead.

So when Veronica saunters over to them in the student lounge with two boys - one Toni knows and one she doesn’t - she’s disappointed to find them down a girl.

“Hey, B,” is her initial greeting, before her eyes flicker around the rest of the group. “And B’s Serpent friends.”

“And _Cheryl_,” the redhead adds indignantly, her pale, bare, legs sprawled across Toni’s lap.

Veronica rolls her eyes. “Yes, and Cheryl,” she amends. “Isn’t this group missing a member?”

“Josie’s with the Pussycats,” Toni fills her in before Sweet Pea can supply a snarky answer of his own.

“Is that who I’m here to see?” the boy Toni doesn’t know pipes in from behind her, and Veronica’s face lights up, as if just remembering he’s there.

She turns to tug him forward and present him to everyone. “This is my old, very dear friend, Nick St. Clair,” she introduces him with a hand to the chest, similar to the way she introduced Archie to Toni all those weeks ago. “I’m showing him around our fair Riverdale.”

“And what a thrill it’s been,” he adds in sarcastically, giving Toni a better reason to dislike him other than his Tide Pod colored eyes and the way he’s directing them at Cheryl.

Veronica, the only other person there that wasn’t born and raised in Riverdale, laughs. “Don’t mind Nicky, he’s a hard man to impress.”

“I don’t know, Ronnie,” Nick interjects, tone sickeningly sweet and obviously smarmy, as he openly leers at Cheryl in a way only extreme privilege would allow him to. “I think I’m starting to see the charm of this town.”

Toni’s skin crawls at his obvious intentions, and she instinctively tightens her grip on Cheryl’s shins a little, as if it’ll shield her from this slimy asshole.

“Down, boy,” Veronica warns him playfully before Toni can, and a lot nicer than she was planning to. “Anyways, Nicholas here is an up and coming music producer, so of course I was hoping to introduce him to Riverdale’s very own musical icons, Josie and the Pussycats.”

Sweet Pea scoffs predictably, not being able to help himself. “What about your boy toy back there?”

Archie’s poker face is slightly better, but the way he’s clenching his jaw and glaring at the back of Nick’s head gives him away.

“Not interested,” is all he says, but it’s all he needs to for Toni to know he hates Nick as much as she does.

“Now, now, boys,” Veronica tsks all three of them. “Would anyone like to help me quell the palpable tension and point me in Josie’s direction?”

“I saw her heading into the music room,” Betty offers her best friend with a smile.

Which Veronica returns with one of her own, along with her appreciation as she starts to head out the way she came in, before something stops her and she spins back around.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” she chastises herself, gripping Nick’s sleeve so he’ll stop, too. “I’m having a little get together at the Pembrooke tomorrow night - twenty, thirty people max; all of you are more than welcome to join.”

“I do hope to see you there, Sharon,” Nick has to add, and Toni doesn’t think she’s ever wanted to punch someone more - and that’s saying something, considering there’s at least three other people currently in the room that she’s wanted to clock before.

“It’s Cheryl,” the redhead corrects, sounding annoyed, but not nearly as annoyed as Toni is.

Nick doesn’t even bother correcting himself, just sends Cheryl a wink before he follows Archie and Veronica out of the lounge.

“I don’t like that guy,” Sweet Pea immediately declares as he kicks his feet up onto the table, and Toni’s filled with a sudden rush of fondness for the boy.

She knew he was her favorite Serpent for a reason.

“You don’t like anyone,” Jughead reminds him as he gets up from the chair he was sharing with Betty to make a trip to the vending machine.

Sweet Pea can’t argue with that. “Got me there,” he admits, and as everyone laughs, Toni’s hold on Cheryl’s legs doesn’t loosen.

Toni spends the rest of the day trying to convince herself that her immediate and intense distaste for Nick wasn’t rooted in jealousy, and she’s only half successful.

Because yes, okay, she’s a little jealous, but she’s not possessive; she’s protective.

And Nick St. Clair set off all of Toni’s evil white boy alarms before he’d even shown interest in her best friend.

(Yes, Cheryl’s her best friend again, but who was she trying to fool, she’s always considered her to be, deep down, even if the redhead didn’t, so that’s not really much of a milestone.)

“He’s definitely shady,” Sweet Pea agrees with her once she’s finished ranting about the situation, reiterating his earlier stance on the boy.

“But you’re also totally jealous,” Fangs weighs in like she asked.

“Yeah, that too,” Sweet Pea echoes distractedly.

Toni gapes, caught; totally giving herself away before she can even try to deny it.

Since when are boys perceptive? Or is she just that obvious?

“I-I’m not,” she sputters, but neither Sweet Pea nor Fangs seem to care, because neither even crack a smile.

It takes Toni a moment to realize that they’re not trying to tease her for it, they’re just stating a fact, like Jughead eats too much.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Tiny,” Fangs continues, getting up from the couch to venture into the kitchen to get something to eat.

“Yeah, Red didn’t seem interested,” Sweet Pea adds, his eyes not leaving the television screen as he rapidly presses down on the buttons of his game controller. “Even if he tries anything at the party, she’ll probably shut his ass down.”

Again, since when do these boys notice anything, and why did it take Sweet Pea so long to realize Josie’s just not that into him then?

And why the hell is Toni _this close_ to asking if he thinks Cheryl’s into her?

“Forget about Veronica’s boring party,” Fangs complains loudly, as if he won’t be there drinking all the free booze. “Can we talk about _my_ birthday bash next week?”

He comes back into the living room with leftover Chinese that he probably didn’t even heat up, but Toni’s just thankful for the subject change before she can make a fool of herself.

(Toni’s long since accepted the fact that she’s still in love with Cheryl.

It wasn’t really something she ever tried to deny to herself - downplay, maybe; ignore, definitely - but so far she’s done a good job of not overthinking it, either.

Because whether she felt it or not, she was sure it didn't matter, but lately, maybe...

It feels like the more they reconnect and the closer they get, the stronger those dormant feelings get; the bigger the elephant gets.

And as hard as it is to be in love with your best friend, it’s harder to be in love with your best friend when you know what it’s like to actually be with her.

Harder still, is having hope when you’re trying not to.

Because with hope comes wondering, about so many things, and wondering is the hardest of all.)

Veronica’s party ends up being much bigger than a small gathering, with a lot more than twenty to thirty people.

It’s not what Toni would classify as a _rager_ by any means, but it’s not what she expected.

The party’s in what she’d call medium swing when she gets there with her fellow Serpents, and while it’s a lot more crowded than anticipated, she’s still able to spot Cheryl almost right away.

She looks gorgeous, of course, in a tight black dress, red lips and her hair looking as perfect as always. She’s with Betty and Josie by the couch, with a glass of something in her hand while she talks with the other girls, so that’s the direction Toni heads in.

“Later, fellas,” she throws over her shoulder without a second look, but she knows Jughead is following her when Betty looks over and waves. “Hello, ladies.”

Cheryl greets her with a warm hug, while Jughead gets a kiss, and Sweet Pea gets a stare down from Josie, even though he’s still standing across the room.

“Sorry we’re late,” the only boy in the group apologizes, and his girlfriend just takes his hand and tangles their fingers together.

“You’re not,” she assures him, offering him a sweet smile before turning to Toni. “If you couldn’t tell, things kind of got out of Veronica’s hands.”

“Courtesy of that moron Reggie Mantle, but of course,” Cheryl adds from her side, still clinging loosely to Toni’s shoulders.

It’s a friendly, casual thing, but that doesn’t stop her from zeroing in on it, and noticing how similar their proximity is to the couple standing across from them.

“Moron as he may be, it’s not a bother,” Veronica insists as she and, _ugh_, Nick, join the group, cups of their own in hand; her face lights up when she spots the newest arrivals. “Antoinette, Forsythe, so glad to have you. Drinks are in the kitchen, snacks in the living room. Kevin is in charge of the music selection, so find him if you have any requests.”

“Where’s Arch?” Betty asks as soon as her best friend is done with her hostess duties.

Veronica’s smile falters slightly, as she rolls her eyes and waves her hand vaguely behind her. “Oh, off sulking and pouting somewhere,” she dismisses, playing it off. “Maybe you should go check up on him, Josie.”

Toni tries not to visibly cringe at the metaphorical break that screeches and brings the friendly conversation to a halt.

Most everyone else looks uncomfortable as fuck - except for Nick, who just smirks like he’s accomplished something, and continues to stare at Cheryl - and Toni wonders how much drama happens around her that she doesn’t know about.

Well, she’s got enough information to make an educated guess in _this_ instance, but until now, her frame of reference for this drama was Sweet Pea not being able to take a hint - she didn’t realize the Josie and Archie musical pairing was also an issue for Veronica, too.

She doubts Nick helped matters, either.

“_O-kay_,” Toni eventually breaks the tense silence, drawing the word out as she grips Cheryl’s hand. “As _painfully_ fun as this is, you wanna show me where the drinks are, Cher?”

The redhead’s relief is visible. “My pleasure.”

Toni pulls her away without another word; away from the tension and Nick St. Clair’s lecherous leering.

After getting Toni her own drink and attempting to mingle in the kitchen, Cheryl leads the Serpent away from their classmates and towards Veronica’s bedroom so they can speak in private.

They sneak under the literal velvet rope blocking the hallway, and even though there are several closed doors, Cheryl knows exactly which one she’s looking for.

“Either you have rich people intuition, or you’ve been here before,” Toni quips as she’s tugged inside, the music only slightly muffled by the door when the redhead closes it.

“I’ve slept over a time or two,” Cheryl explains as she perches herself on the edge of Veronica’s bed, crossing her amazing legs and carefully cradling her glass in her hand.

Toni nods and takes in her new surroundings, not particularly interested in Veronica Lodge as a person, but still a little snoopy by nature.

It’s pretty much exactly what she’d expect from a girl like Veronica, and as Toni shifts her eyes over the pictures adorning her vanity and mirror - photographer’s eye and all - she can’t help but notice Cheryl doesn’t appear in any of them.

“Are you guys close?” she wonders, even though she already has a good idea of the answer.

She and Cheryl have been hanging out together for weeks now, and Toni can probably count the number of times Veronica’s name has come up on one hand.

“Not particularly,” is Cheryl’s expected answer, and though she doesn’t exactly sound upset by that admission, there’s a bit of wistfulness there. “We used to be closer - for the briefest moment in time - after Jason’s death.” Toni’s stomach does that thing it does everytime Jason is mentioned, and she tries to ignore it. “I always suspected I was somewhat of a project for Veronica, as a newly reformed Mean Girl, but I was lonely and needed the company. Once we were no longer of use to each other, we kind of drifted, though not without a little drama first.”

It hurts a little to laugh, but Toni does, if only because it’s better than dwelling on the rest of what Cheryl said.

“But what about Josie?” she wonders before she can second guess it, pushing off Veronica’s vanity to sit down beside Cheryl on the edge of her bed.

She’s wanted to ask the girl about her friendship - and her more than friendship - with Josie for a while, but hasn’t had the opening until now.

It takes Cheryl a little longer to answer her this time, but she’s got that same forlorn tone in her voice when she speaks. “We weren’t really close yet at the time,” she explains, her gaze moving down to the half empty glass in her hand. “I adore Josie, she’s been the most genuine friend I’ve made since-” _Since you_, hangs in the air between them, but neither of them says it, because they both already know. “But she and I, our friendship, it’s not… It’s not like _ours_ was.” Cheryl finally looks up at Toni again, something closer to happiness twinkling in her eyes. “Or _is_, even.”

Toni’s heart flips, and she knows exactly what she means.

Because Sweet Pea and Fangs and Jughead, she loves them, but they’re not Cheryl.

Nobody ever could be.

It’s another one of those things that Toni has always known but tried to ignore, in the back of her head, and her heart, and as she looks into Cheryl’s pretty brown eyes, she wonders if the other girl has always known it too, or if she’s maybe just starting to realize it, now.

Now, here, sitting on a bed, sitting so close; just like that afternoon before Cheryl left for camp and took years to come back...

“Cher,” she breathes as she reaches out to tuck red hair behind her ear, having no idea how she wants to end that sentence.

But Cheryl’s eyes are on her face, first on her own and then, Toni _swears_, flickering down to her lips. And just as she’s sure the other girl is about to lean in, the bedroom door is flung open suddenly and Cheryl jumps away from her and off the bed, leaving Toni to wonder if that even happened at all.

“Oh, thank God,” Veronica sighs as she spots the girls in her room, completely oblivious to the moment she may have just ruined. “It’s just you girls. I was dreading what state of undress I was about to walk in on.” She takes a moment to stare at them, her hands finding her hips. “I’ll ignore your blatant disregard of obvious signage, if you come play Never Have I Ever with us.”

That sounds like just about the last thing Toni wants to do. “I don’t think-”

“Sounds like a blast,” Cheryl cuts her off, forced enthusiasm clear in her tone. It takes her a second, but she finally chances a glance down at Toni, who’s still sitting on the bed. “Right, T.T.?”

Again, it certainly does not, but Cheryl’s looking at her with eyes that are equally as afraid as they are pleading, and Toni doesn’t stand a chance.

“Sure,” she agrees, and while she’s sure her reluctance is obvious, neither Cheryl nor Veronica comment on it as the three of them leave the room to go rejoin the party.

Never Have I Ever was settled on after Spin the Bottle, Seven Minutes In Heaven and Secrets & Sins were all vetoed due to past traumatic experiences.

But, much like every drinking game Toni has even participated in, this one doesn’t come without its own drama.

A small group of people find themselves sitting in a circle on the floor of Hiram Lodge’s office, and of course it’s just the group Toni would expect it to be; all her friends, all the core characters in all the recent drama, and Kevin.

And it’s him that starts everyone off with a bold, yet simple, “Never have I ever had sex.”

It’s met with a chorus of varying reactions, but the only one Toni pays any attention to is Cheryl’s, who seems to be avoiding her by sitting with Josie on the other side of the circle; she’s the only one in the group that doesn’t drink.

Sweet Pea goes next, and he’s the first one to take a petty shot; “Never have I ever strung someone along.”

Toni shifts her gaze from Cheryl to the girl sitting beside her for that one, and even though she’s not totally sure Josie should drink to this one - at least in Sweet Pea’s case, considering she was always pretty up front about what she wanted and _didn’t_ want from him - she stares the boy down and takes a gulp anyways.

“_Okay_,” Betty whistles under her breath, nudging her boyfriend. “Jug, you wanna go next?”

Jughead doesn’t even look like he wants to be in the room, let alone playing the game - cheers to that - but for Betty, he comes up with something on the spot.

“Never have I ever… kissed more than one person in this room,” he says, leaning over to give Betty a sweet kiss on the cheek.

Everyone boos their cheesy cuteness, and most take a sip, Toni included; nothing particularly scandalous or revealing there.

“Never have I ever kissed another dude!” Reggie shouts his next, even though he’s not sitting next to Jughead.

Toni rolls her eyes at him, while Veronica clarifies. “Wait, I’m confused, do we drink if we’ve kissed a guy before, or if we’ve kissed someone of the same sex?”

“I wanna know which one of you chicks has made out with another chick,” Reggie answers obnoxiously, probably not even drunk. “Other than Topaz.”

Toni raises the middle finger of her left hand while she takes a swig with her right, surprised to find all the other girls in the circle also drink.

Cheryl’s the most surprising of all, just because Toni wasn’t sure she’d admit it, but she supposes she probably felt safe to, considering everyone else drank, too.

She still won’t look at Toni, though.

“Now that Reginald has finished flexing his misogyny, it’s my turn,” Veronica announces, drawing everyone’s attention towards her as she pretends to ponder what she wants to say. “Mhmm, never have I ever… tried to steal someone’s man.”

Well, that feminist agenda didn’t last long, but she sounds closer to wasted than sober, so.

“Ronnie!” Archie exclaims, and while he’s too kind to actually scold his girlfriend, his annoyance is obvious. Nick sits on the girl’s other side, laughing, like the asshole he is.

Cheryl scoffs before anyone else can react. “Oh, _please_,” she speaks up for the first time since the game started, and Toni smiles a little at the fact that it’s to stick up for her friend. “How soon you forget. You weren’t even in town a week before you sank your claws into Archie despite befriending my poor cousin, for whom you knew good and well was pathetically in love with him.”

“Can you please leave me out of this?” Betty pipes up, but both girls ignore her.

“It’s okay, Cheryl,” Josie insists, reeling the redhead in before she starts a fight in her honor. Which, in turn, makes Toni relax when she sees Cheryl won’t need back up. “Veronica’s just in her feelings and has no idea what she’s talking about. This is me _not_ taking a sip.”

Veronica rolls her eyes, unimpressed and irritated, and it’s up to Betty to keep it moving once again. “Okay, my turn then,” she awkwardly starts, fingers nervously squeezing the red cup in her hand now that she’s actually gotten everyone’s attention. “Never have I ever… broken someone’s heart.”

While everyone else seems to be contemplating their answer, Toni’s eyes drift over to meet Cheryl’s; she actually holds her gaze for a moment, those brown eyes that were just filled with anger now swimming with something more like regret or guilt, or maybe both, before she looks away and takes a gulp.

And even though there’s two years of Cheryl’s life she still doesn’t know, and countless possible people she could be thinking of, Toni knows that drink is for her; would know it even if she hadn’t looked at her.

Because Toni doesn’t think it’s possible for anyone else to have had their heart broken by Cheryl worse than her - except maybe the redhead herself.

Fangs nudges her to go before she can spiral any further down _that_ rabbit hole, but she’s already fallen just enough that she doesn’t think about it much before she says, “Never have I ever gotten over my first love.”

Nobody else in the group is crushed by the weight of her words, but even though Cheryl won’t look at her again, Toni watches as she sucks in a breath like she’s been hit in the chest; notes that her glass remains firmly in her lap.

Well, guess she can consider that elephant officially acknowledged.

The game disperses not long after that, but Josie’s dragging Cheryl away before Toni has the chance to approach her.

Not that she knows what she’d even say to her, since all the things she wants to probably shouldn’t be said to her at a party - not even if one of those things is about what _maybe_ happened earlier at said party.

So instead of talking to Cheryl about_ anything_, Toni somehow finds herself chatting with Betty and Kevin - who she hasn’t really gotten the chance to catch up with since the transfer.

“Jug told me you’re interested in joining the Blue & Gold,” the blonde mentions once Kevin’s finished detailing his current romantic woes.

Toni’s a bit surprised Jughead mentioned it, considering he specifically asked her not to, but she doesn’t dwell on it - boyfriend privileges, she guesses. “Yeah, I was hoping you needed a photographer.”

“Definitely, you should come by my office next week,” Betty offers with a smile, and even though Toni hasn’t quite been able to completely shake off all of her anger towards the girl after finding out about the blackmailing incident, she still finds herself smiling back. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

“Jughead said you were dealing with some family stuff,” she explains as tactfully as she can, not wanting to sound like she’s being nosy or asking for details of any kind. “He thought I should wait a couple weeks until it was sorted.”

“Betty’s been searching for her long lost brother,” Kevin spills before Betty can even make the choice to share or not.

“_Kev_,” the other girl hisses, elbowing him in the side.

Toni shifts awkwardly, feeling bad that Betty didn’t get to speak for herself, but not really seeing why it’s such a huge deal - seems pretty tame for Riverdale standards, like she guessed. “I, uh, I didn’t know you had a brother,” she offers feebly.

“Yeah, me neither,” Betty sighs. “Apparently my mom was pregnant back in high school and it was this whole big secret. She put him up for adoption, but we think we might have found h-”

Betty’s cut off by a loud bang coming from another room in the penthouse, that’s followed by shouting that sounds a lot like Sweet Pea.

The three of them share a wide-eyed look before they all rush towards the commotion; Toni pushes her way through the gathering crowd until she sees what all the fuss is about.

When she gets to the center of it, there’s a lamp shattered on the floor, and maybe a vase too, while Sweet Pea has Nick St. Clair held against the wall by the collar of his fancy white shirt.

Cheryl and Josie are standing off to the side, eyes wide and filled with confusion, just like Toni’s.

“What the hell is going on?!” she shouts, aiming her question at her fellow Serpent instead of the girls, since they seem to be as clueless as she is. Did he just come swinging out of nowhere or what?

“This_ asshole_,” Sweet Pea growls, slamming Nick against the wall again for emphasis. “Was trying to slip something into Red’s drink.”

Toni’s stomach drops, and she can’t tell if the buzzing in her ears is from the Kill Bill sirens going off in her head, or the murmuring of the crowd behind her.

“I have no idea what this grease stain is talking about,” Nick insists, still somehow sounding smug and smarmy even while kicking his feet as they hover inches off the ground.

Sweet Pea slams him against the wall so hard that it sounds like it gives way a little underneath him, and then he drops him to his feet so he can use one of his hands to fish inside Nick’s jacket.

“I fucking _saw you_,” the taller boy seethes, pulling out a tiny baggie of pills from some hidden pocket inside the jacket and waving it in his face. “You give her any already, you piece of shit?”

Nick finally starts getting a little worried as Sweet Pea looks about ten seconds away from full on beating his ass, and Toni is all ready to help when Jughead appears out of nowhere to tug on the leash he always has around the boy.

“_Sweet Pea!_” he calls out, stepping around Betty to stand beside Toni.

“Not this time, Jones,” the other Serpent snarls, not taking his eyes off of Nick’s slimy face.

“I’d love to see you beat this guy blue,_ believe_ me,” Jughead insists, stepping closer, but not daring to touch him. “But look at him, man. You know he’ll press charges and get you in trouble we won’t be able to get you out of.”

Sweet Pea scoffs and tightens his hold on Nick’s collar, shoving him back against the wall once more when he tries to squirm out of his grip. “It’ll be fucking worth it,” he hisses, pulling his arm back.

“Sweet Pea, _don’t_,” Cheryl cuts in before fist can meet face. She pulls out of Josie’s grip and steps closer to the chaos, which means Toni instinctively does, too. “I appreciate the heroism, I truly do; more than you know,” she tells him softly. “But he’s not worth the trouble.” She tentatively reaches out to wrap her delicate fingers around his leather clad arm. “_Please_.”

Toni watches as Sweet Pea clenches his fist, and she honestly doesn’t know what she hopes happens more; as much as she loves Sweet Pea and doesn’t want him getting in over his head, the thought of Nick getting away with this without getting the shit kicked out of him makes her see red.

But Sweet Pea makes his decision before she can, and before she knows it, he’s shoving Nick one last time - hard enough that the boy crumples to the ground after - and storming off.

“Fangs,” Jughead quickly snaps, glancing at the boy Toni hadn’t even noticed off to the side.

“On it,” he replies quickly, not needing to hear anything else before he takes off after his best friend.

“You should go, too,” Cheryl tells Josie, clearly noticing the way she’s staring after the boy. “I’m okay, I promise.”

Sensing Josie’s hesitation, Toni finally gets her legs to work and she moves closer to the pair. “I got her,” she assures Josie, lightly touching the small of Cheryl’s back with her fingers as she steps up behind her.

Josie still looks torn, but eventually gives in, reaching out to squeeze Cheryl’s hand. “I’ll be back,” she promises her, before she slips through the parted crowd the same way Sweet Pea and Fangs did.

Once she’s gone, Toni feels Cheryl slump back against her, tired. “Come on, babe,” she whispers, gently nudging her into moving, guiding her past Jughead as he roughly pulls Nick to his feet, through the crowd of onlookers and towards safety.

Toni finds one of the bathrooms without too much trouble and leads Cheryl inside.

She sits her on the toilet that’s probably worth more than her entire trailer, and kneels down in front of her; there’s not much else she can do except talk to her, since she’s physically fine.

At least she thinks so.

“How do you feel?” Toni asks softly, thinking of what Sweet Pea asked Nick earlier, wondering if he’d managed to slip her something before anyone noticed. “Does it feel like you took anything?”

“No,” Cheryl answers lowly, blinking her eyes slowly a few times, as if to check for vision impairments or just to clear her head. “I’m okay, just a little tipsy. I swear it, T.T..”

She certainly seems okay - her words aren’t slurred, her eyes are focused and she was able to walk without stumbling - but Toni knows looks can be deceiving, especially for someone that wears a mask as often as Cheryl does.

“You sure?”

Cheryl offers her a shaky smile and reaches out to touch Toni’s cheek. It’s just a brief brush of her knuckles, but it’s enough to have her eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

“I’m a little shaken, but otherwise, I’m okay,” she promises her gently, like Toni’s the one that needs assurance in this situation. Cheryl just looks at her for a few more moments, brown eyes flickering all over her face like they’re looking for something before she shakes it off, remembering what moment they’re in. “Thank goodness for Sweet Pea’s obsession with Josie; heavens knows what may have happened if he hadn’t been watching us so intently.”

Toni doesn’t even want to consider it. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” she whispers instead, fiddling with her red bracelet before her hands cup Cheryl’s knees and she looks up at her with the utmost sincerity and regret, as if she’s begging for forgiveness for something the other girl has never blamed her for.

“Don’t be silly,” she chastises her, furrowing her brows together as she prepares to follow it up, before she’s interrupted by a knock at the door.

It opens before either of them can voice an invite. It’s Veronica.

“Here you two are,” she sighs, pushing the door open further, but keeping her distance by staying in the doorway and leaning against the frame. She seems more sober than she did last time they saw her. “I just heard what happened. Cheryl, I’m so sorry, I had no idea Nick was capable of such a thing.” Toni just manages to stop herself from scoffing, considering she clocked that asshole within a minute of being around him. “He’s been removed, of course, and I’m sending everyone else home, too.”

Toni’s first instinct is to tell her that’s not necessary, just to be polite, but she can’t be bothered.

Cheryl replies instead. “Thank you, Veronica.”

“No problem,” she assures her, smiling sadly down at the other girl, and Toni’s previous annoyance with her for her display during Never Have I Ever dissipates. “Do you two want to spend the night? Betty’s gonna crash with me, but there’s a spare room with your names on it.”

Toni looks to Cheryl for guidance, letting her make the call.

She’s nowhere close to drunk, but she’s been drinking and she’s surely exhausted - emotionally, if not physically - and it would probably be easier for her to stay here than go all the way home, especially when _home_ includes Penelope Blossom.

Plus, Toni would rather stay with her, just in case Nick did manage to get something in her system, that’s just taking its time to show its effects.

She doesn’t voice any of that though, not in front of Veronica, still leaving it up to the redhead.

But thankfully, Cheryl nods and that’s that.

“Sure,” Toni answers easily, sparing Veronica a glance.

“Okay, I’ll get everything ready for you,” the other girl promises, waiting just another moment longer before she makes her exit and leaves Cheryl in Toni’s care.

An hour later, they find themselves on another bed in the Lodge penthouse, only this time they’re tucked under the sheets.

Conversation has been sparse since they left the bathroom, but the silence hasn’t been awkward.

Even now, as they lay in bed, side by side - like they haven’t done for years - it’s comfortable, and the elephant doesn’t take up too much space.

But just as Toni’s starting to drift off, Cheryl breaks it.

“I’m sorry,” she says suddenly, her speech slow like she’s on the verge of sleep herself, and something about the words - about the moment - feels important.

“For what?” Toni whispers in confusion, lolling her head to the side to try to see the redhead laying just beside her; she can’t imagine what Cheryl could possibly need to apologize for.

“For not being strong enough,” the other girl murmurs, and though she hears her, Toni can’t make sense of it; Cheryl’s the strongest person she knows.

“What are you talking about, Cher?” she questions further, turning over and shifting closer, squinting her eyes enough to see an outline. She reaches between them, but not far enough to touch her. “Strong enough for _what_?”

The silence stretches on so long that Toni starts to think Cheryl’s fallen asleep, until she finally mumbles her answer into the dark.

“To keep you,” Cheryl says, simple, soft and heartbreakingly sad.

She’s asleep within seconds after that, her breathing evening out into a sound that always used to comfort Toni, back when sharing a bed didn’t feel like the big deal it does now.

And while it comforts her still, now, Toni doesn’t sleep much at all that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys liked this chapter and that it was worth the wait; with what I have planned for next chapter, I think that one will be worth the longer wait too. Please, please, let me know what you think by leaving a comment; tell me your favorite scene or line or other character or what you think will happen next, all that good stuff - I love knowing those kinds of things. And I promise that everything else going on with the other characters has a purpose that will eventually tie into the Choni storyline! Until then, you can find me on Twitter (@mylittlefaith) or Tumblr (@cherbombshells).


	6. Looking At You Now, You Would Never Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Long time no see and happy new year to everyone. Hope it hasn't totally crashed and burned for you already.  
ii) If you like Euphoria and ship Rue/Lexi, you should check out [my newest fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21802555), it's the reason this update took so long.  
iii) That being said, it's still earlier than predicted because I ended up splitting it in half, but still some big things this chapter.  
iv) As usual, not sure when the next one will be out, but hopefully faster than this one.  
v) Thanks to all my buds that listen to me babble about this all the time and who read it over so it isn't riddled with mistakes.

An alarm Toni doesn’t recall setting wakes her up, and as she blindly reaches for it, she remembers that for the first time in over a year, she’s not in bed alone.

One of Cheryl’s legs is tangled between her own and her arm is thrown over her stomach, wrapping them up together in a cocoon of warmth that Toni doesn’t want to break yet, or maybe ever.

Her fingers finally find her phone a little too late, because by the time she’s clicking the snooze button, Cheryl’s already stirring beside her.

“What time is it?” she mumbles barely coherently, her words scratchy and rough from sleep.

Toni checks the giant numbers on her phone as she gently brushes her fingers over a pale arm. “Almost ten,” she informs the other girl softly, the answer said against the crown of Cheryl’s head, right where she’d press her lips if she wasn’t such a chicken, even at this hour in the morning.

“Too early,” Cheryl decides with a groan, and even though Toni knows damn well she gets up much earlier than this every other day of the week, she’s not about to argue with her.

Instead, she just hums her agreement and lets her hand settle on the swell of Cheryl’s hip. “Go back to sleep then,” she encourages her, rubbing a soothing circle with her thumb. “I’ll wake you up again in a half hour.”

“Mhmm,” Cheryl hum right back at her, snuggling in closer without opening her eyes or even giving it much thought; she squeezes Toni’s middle and lays her head on her chest. “Okay.”

She falls back asleep like she never even woke up, and Toni tries to remember how to breathe.

Cheryl’s a little more lucid the next time she wakes up, but it still takes her awhile to move.

Not that Toni’s complaining, like, at all.

“Hey,” she greets the red haired girl softly and with a smile, squeezing her hip lightly before moving her hand up to brush the uncharacteristically messy hair out of Cheryl’s face.

Which is soft, bare of makeup, and beautiful - a sight she hasn’t seen in far too long.

“Hi,” the other girl whispers, blinking away the last remnants of sleep as she tilts her head to look up at the girl she’s turned into a human pillow with a lazy smile.

She still doesn’t move away, and Toni still doesn’t mind.

It’s not their first morning like this, just the first in a long time, and it seems like Toni’s not the only one who wants to take the time to enjoy it.

“You feeling okay?” Toni checks, and she means both physically and emotionally. She’s sure they would have known if Nick managed to get something in her system by now, but better safe than sorry.

She presses her cheek to Cheryl’s forehead to make sure she’s not running hot, but after everything that went down last night, there’s no way to tell what’s going on _inside _her head, where it counts.

But in typical Cheryl fashion, all she does is force a weak smile and say, “I’m fine.”

It hurts to hear, maybe even worse than an actual answer would, but Toni doesn’t want to push her, not ever.

She wants Cheryl to know she’s here, and to remember that she’s not like everyone else, but something about the way her best friend is looking at her makes her think maybe she already knows that.

So maybe Cheryl really is fine - not _good_, but fine.

And maybe she has a little something to do with that, and not just because of her _excellent_ cuddling skills.

“You sure?” Toni asks, just to be sure, fingers still running through her hair methodically.

The smile she gets this time is a little stronger, and a bit more sincere. “Pinky promise,” Cheryl swears, brushing the red nail of her pinky across a tanned jawline, and now Toni has no choice but to believe her.

It’s the law.

Veronica interrupts them - _again _\- about fifteen minutes later to inform them that breakfast is ready and waiting, but it still takes them another five minutes to finally get out of bed.

Betty and Veronica are waiting for them when they emerge, sitting on the far side of the dining room table that’s covered in more breakfast food than Toni has ever seen in one place.

Pancakes, waffles, every kind of eggs she can think of, sausages, you name it; it could easily feed most of the trailer park, but she keeps that comment to herself.

(Rich people don’t like to be reminded they’re rich, except for when they’re reminding everyone else they are.)

Instead, she just says, “Wow, everything looks amazing, Veronica,” as she pulls Cheryl’s chair out for her, even though she’s positive the girl didn’t actually make any of it herself, and then slips into the seat beside the redhead.

“So, did we all sleep well last night?” Veronica asks in her best hostess voice once everyone has started eating, and she’s about as subtle as the display of riches spread out in front of her is.

It’s obvious to everyone who she’s really curious about, and Toni squeezes Cheryl’s knee under the table in a silent show of support.

“I’m _fine_, Veronica,” Cheryl insists, sounding a little more rehearsed and put-on now than she did in the comfort of their shared bed only fifteen minutes earlier.

She still doesn’t sound like she’s lying, but Toni’s still having trouble fully believing it.

But instead of continuing to keep Cheryl on the spot, Toni seizes the slight lull in conversation to change the subject. “What do you guys have planned for today?”

They leave the Pembrooke around noon, after showering and not long after Jughead and Archie show up; when it starts to feel like they’ve crashed an exclusive party of four.

But before they leave, both boys make sure to slip on their capes and make sure Cheryl’s doing okay.

They get the same answer as everyone else.

“I’m fine,” Cheryl promises again, clearly tired of the question already, but she still accepts Archie’s hug warmly, while offering Jughead one of the most sincere smiles Toni’s seen her give him. “Though thoroughly unnecessary, thank you for worrying.”

“Of course,” Archie waves her off, still obviously concerned. “If you need anything...”

Jughead nods, agreeing with the sentiment, and Cheryl assures them both that she understands.

And as Toni threads their fingers together and leads the redhead out of Veronica’s penthouse, she’s glad that if nothing else, this whole ordeal has hopefully shown Cheryl how many people she truly has in her corner now.

They spend the rest of their Sunday not doing much of anything, just Pop’s and the Bijou and then a lot of driving around the Northside.

It’s nice and relaxing, and keeps their minds busy for a few hours, but after Cheryl drops her off and Toni finds herself alone in her room, it’s hard not to get a little teary eyed when she thinks too hard about the night - what could have happened and what did.

“I just wish there was something I could do,” she tells her mother over the phone, laid out on a mattress that feels empty with just her on it.

“It sounds like you’re doing exactly what she needs you to,” her mother assures her, always knowing just what to say. “I know how much you love her, bug, but this isn’t about _your_ feelings; you can’t force her to feel something she doesn’t or isn’t ready to, just so you can feel useful. You’re already doing everything you can.”

Toni sighs, knowing her mother’s right, but still wishing she could at least punch Nick St. Clair in the throat a couple of times.

It probably wouldn’t make her feel much better about what already went down, but it definitely wouldn’t make her feel worse, either.

Cheryl texts her an hour after she hangs up with her mother, and just as her failed attempts to sleep are becoming frustrating.

_Are you still up?_, the message says, coming in later than they usually ever talk.

_Yeah, can’t sleep_, Toni texts back. _Why are you up at this hour?_

Cheryl’s reply comes immediately, _Can’t sleep either._

Fingers moving without thought, Toni pauses for a moment, giving the response a second thought before she eventually hits send.

_Are you okay?_

The first message pops up easily and with an eye-rolling emoji, _I wish people would stop asking me that, I’m fine!_, but the telling three dots of the follow up appear and disappear a couple of times before the text bubble finally posts.

_It’s just proving difficult to sleep alone tonight._

Toni smiles for the first time since she got home, and her heart aches with fondness for her best friend, as she wonders if the reason she can’t sleep herself has less to do with worry or guilt, and more to do with her own loneliness, too.

_Same_, she decides, shifting into a more comfortable position on her mattress.

They talk for another two hours, until they’re both finally able to sleep.

Looking at Cheryl the next day, you’d never guess that she only got four hours of sleep.

Toni’s impressed, at first, until she wonders how often she comes to school tired without her knowing.

“You look like death,” Sweet Pea comments bluntly when he walks up to his fellow Serpent in the parking lot, even though he’s not looking so hot himself.

“And you wonder why you can’t get a girlfriend,” Toni deadpans back, too exhausted to remember how thankful she is for him and his Josie desperation.

Fangs grimaces from his friend’s side, while Sweet Pea cringes himself. “Low blow, Tiny.”

“Sorry, Sweets,” she sighs her apology, nudging the taller boy in the arm as she leans against her bike and lets her eyes flutter closed behind her sunglasses. If she makes it through the day, it’ll be a miracle. “Didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Dumb and Dumber share a look that has Toni ready to roll her eyes. “Another sleepover with Blossom, huh?”

Cue the eye roll.

“Shut up,” Toni whines, punching Fangs in the shoulder half-heartedly, just as the redhead she’d been watching from across the parking lot bids farewell to her minions and starts strolling towards them. “Hey, Cher,” she greets her, suddenly perking up a bit.

She notices the boys rolling their eyes this time, but she ignores them to focus on less annoying people.

“Good morning, T.T.,” Cheryl replies sweetly, perfectly painted red lips quirked up into a smile that’s just as perfect. She pulls Toni into a hug that feels like it wants to last longer than it does, before she turns to the other two Serpents. “Fangs,” she nods first, smile still in place, and it only wombles a bit when her gaze shifts over to the tallest member of the group. “Sweet Pea…”

The previously light moment quickly turns heavier when Cheryl chokes on emotion and the name, but while Toni places a steadying hand on the small of her best friend’s back, just to remind her she’s there, Sweet Pea tries to play it cool.

“How’s it goin’, Red?” he wonders casually, not fooling anyone.

Toni’s fingers chase Cheryl as she steps forward and away from her touch, closer to the boy who saved her two days ago without a second thought.

“I believe I owe you my gratitude,” she tells him softly, trying her best to keep her voice even.

Sweet Pea shakes his head, an egotistical ass on most days, but a good enough guy deep down to not seek recognition for something like what he did, and anyone should do. “Nah, don’t sweat-”

But he gets it anyways, in the form of a hug so sudden and fierce that it knocks him back a step. “_Thank you_.”

Toni’s heart could burst at the sight, and when she glances over at Fangs, of course the big dork looks like he could cry, too.

“Anytime, Red,” Sweet Pea finally says, finding his voice as he wraps a leather clad arm around Cheryl’s neck. He looks like a robot that’s just receiving his first hug, and seems relieved when the girl finally pulls away after a few more moments, but he still keeps a hand on her shoulder before she can step away completely. “I mean that,” he tells her seriously, looking into her eyes to make sure she knows. “I look out for my friends.”

Cheryl beams like she didn’t already know she was his - _their _\- friend, or maybe it’s just that she never quite trusted it, and then turns to Toni, as if to ask if she heard that, too.

Toni nods back, her own grin overtaking her face, and as she reaches for Cheryl’s outstretched hand to pull her back to her side, she finally believes that maybe Cheryl really is_ fine._

Maybe she’s even more than that.

*

With the civil war between Sweet Pea and Cheryl officially over, that only leaves him and Josie with issues still to be sorted out.

(Toni doesn’t count her beef with Betty, since she’s pretty sure both parties need to be aware of said war for it to be one, and she’s gonna be working for her soon, so she’s considering that hatchet buried, though not forgotten.)

And thankfully - for all members of their group, but possibly Toni most of all - that gets dealt with sooner rather than later.

“I think Josie’s gonna break up with me tomorrow,” Sweet Pea admits later that afternoon, dropping down between Toni and Jughead on the worn out couch by the overpass. Fangs is off with some guy he met on Grind'em.

“I think you’d actually have to be her boyfriend for her to break up with you,” Jughead points out, and as much as Toni can’t fault him for getting some ribbing in after all the shit Sweet Pea has given him since joining the Serpents, she still shoots him a look for not helping.

“What makes you say that?” she asks her friend instead, giving him what he was obviously fishing for.

Sweet Pea shows her the phone in his hand, a text from Josie on the screen; _Can you meet me in the lounge before home room tomorrow morning so we can talk?_

Yikes.

Her face must convey that exact feeling, because she doesn’t even have to say anything for the boy to agree. “I know,” he sighs, clicking off his phone and shoving it into his jacket pocket with a pout. “I don’t get it, we had a good talk after everything went down at the party. I thought we worked things out.”

Toni nods, remembering thinking herself that it was a good sign that the girl had gone after him that night, but at the same time she’s not surprised - Josie’s a good person, and just because she cares about Sweet Pea, doesn’t mean she wants to date him.

“I’m sorry, bud,” she offers sympathetically, knocking their knees together, because she knows her friend has reached his quota on physical affection today, and anything more wouldn’t really be _them_, anyways. “I know how much you like her.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugs in response, slumping back in his seat, and really, what else is there to say?

Toni goes home to a locked trailer an hour later, signaling Jake’s return from wherever he fucked off to this time.

It had been a peaceful few weeks, but at least her mother will be home this weekend, so she only has to find somewhere to crash for a couple of days before he has to let her back in.

She considers Jughead’s place again, but ultimately opts to stay with Sweet Pea, even though she knows that means listening to him fret about Josie all evening.

He could use the company, and she’s had to listen to him talk about her for weeks now, so what’s one more night?

Though in Sweet Pea’s defense, he does last a few hours before bringing it up. “Can you ask Red about it?”

“About what?” Toni replies from her spot on the other side of the couch, where she’s sitting with her legs crossed and already texting the redhead.

Sweet Pea groans. “C’mon, Tiny, you know what,” he whines, and he’s right, she does. “Can you ask her if Josie is gonna dump me tomorrow?”

Toni purses her lips and doesn’t look up from her phone, her eyes reading over the messages she’s been exchanging with Cheryl all night; about the Vixens, what other color she would dye her hair, if Cheryl should run for student body president next year, and what kind of ridiculous things she'd try to instate if she did.

It’s all simple and light, and the kind of easy that only comes from time, and Toni doesn’t want to risk ruining that.

They agreed not to talk about their friends’ relationship anymore, and it was for the best, so she’s not about to go back on that now, as much as she wishes she could give Sweet Pea some peace of mind.

She shakes her head, and offers him a smile that’s more like a grimace in apology. “We’re Switzerland.”

Toni can only assume Sweet Pea’s assumption was right when he skips all of his morning classes the next day and she doesn’t see him until lunch.

“Well, that sucked,” he grumbles as he climbs into the empty spot beside her and across from Fangs.

Everyone at the table knows what he’s talking about without having to ask.

“My condolences,” Cheryl offers, and though she’s obviously sincere, Toni doesn’t miss the way she pulls out her phone to check in on Josie, too.

Cheryl’s a really good friend, Toni thinks, not for the first time.

“What’d she say?” Fangs wonders, sliding his plate across the table to offer his best friend some comfort fries.

Sweet Pea scoffs as he throws a couple in his mouth. “She gave me the classic _it’s not you, it’s me _line,” he retells, and even though he’s bummed, Toni gives him points for not sounding too bitter.

It’s hard to tell if it’s because Cheryl’s here or because he just isn’t, but considering the size of the chip he usually carries around on his shoulder, she wants to give him some credit, either way.

“That sucks, bro,” Fangs cringes in sympathy, having received a few of those in his time.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Sweet Pea,” is all Betty can give.

“Maybe it’s true, though,” is Toni's attempt to cheer him up.

“You should hit up Veronica,” Jughead interjects with a laugh. “I hear she’s single.”

Which seems to be news to everyone at the table except for his girlfriend, who elbows him in the ribs for his efforts. “_Jug_.”

“What?” the boy replies with a shrug, reaching for the last of his already mostly devoured burger. “I’m just joking. Like the Northside Princess would actually be interested, anyways.”

Toni can practically feel the wheels turning in Sweet Pea’s head from beside her, and she honestly doesn’t blame him considering everything, but it’s the girl on her other side who replies first. “While I appreciate that you clearly recognize the Northside Queen as _moi_-”

“Didn’t say that,” Jughead interjects, but of course he’s ignored.

“-now is not the time for matchmaking,” Cheryl insists.

“Andrews is single now, too?” Sweet Pea finally asks, a little bit of an edge finding its way into his voice. Everyone glares at Jughead, who seems to have finally realized why his joke wasn’t funny. “That’s fucking perfect.”

They all share a look, each hoping someone else has some kind of comfort to offer the Serpent before he starts spiraling - Josie dumping him was one thing, but her doing it to get with another guy, especially a Northsider, who he was jealous of when they were together, would be another story.

When nobody else speaks up, Cheryl clears her throat before making an attempt.

Toni holds her breath, giving the girl, bless her heart, about a 50/50 chance at making it better or worse - you never really know with her.

Cheryl may be a good friend, but good intentions are only half the battle.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” she advises Sweet Pea, leaning around Toni to offer the boy beside her a sympathetic smile. “Josie is a very independent and career oriented woman, she’s never really been one to make time for relationships. It truly was more of a _her_ issue than a _you_ one.”

Toni smiles softly at her words, or more the fact that she cared enough to try at all, and then it pulls a little wider when it looks like it might have even worked.

Sweet Pea’s shoulders relax again as he releases the tension from them, nodding towards the redhead in a silent show of gratitude.

“Yeah, okay, you’d know best,” he mumbles, picking up a few more fries before glancing Cheryl’s way. “Just maybe mention that next time Topaz begs you to get me a date, alright?”

It’s said lightly and as a joke, and while Cheryl seems to take it that way, she still replies earnestly.

“I promise,” she vows, instinctively hooking her pinky around Toni’s underneath the table.

Toni doesn’t know what it means, but when she twists her wrist to interlace all her fingers with Cheryl’s a couple minutes later, once the topic of conversation has moved on to Fangs’ birthday on Friday night, the red haired girl doesn’t let go for the rest of lunch.

Sweet Pea drowns his sorrows at the Wyrm that night, where they all gather to give him moral support.

Well, the Serpents and Betty are gathered, Cheryl is with Josie and not anywhere near the bar where her brother was murdered.

(Toni still gets it.)

She did tell Toni to buy everyone a round on her when she’d declined the unspoken invitation that the pink haired girl was smart enough not to even extend to her, so she’s there in spirit.

(Sweet Pea understands, too.)

“How’s he doing?” Toni asks Betty when she comes by the bar for a refill.

“He seems okay,” she answers, but it’s obvious she doesn’t know him well enough to really gauge what’s going on beyond the surface - not like Toni could. “They’re not even talking about Josie anymore.”

Toni nods, glad to hear it, but can’t help asking about another couple. “Did Archie and Veronica really break up, too?”

Betty’s face falls a bit at the question, and while she looks reluctant to gossip about her best friend, she does it anyways. “Yeah, on Sunday, after we all left,” she nods, face pensive.

“It wasn’t because of the Josie thing, right?” Toni has to ask, even though she’d never tell Sweet Pea even if it were; she’s just genuinely curious and more than a little nosy.

And thankfully, Betty shakes her head. “V wasn’t happy about that, but they’ve been having issues for awhile,” she shares, suddenly not minding sharing her bestie’s dirty laundry. Toni’s not about to call her out on it, though. “Her father’s been a big one and some other stuff. I think it just finally all blew up.”

Toni nods like she gets it, even though her experience with actual, long lasting relationships and all the troubles that come with them is close to non-existent; she’s dealt with enough of her friends’ dating issues to have some frame of reference, though, if not always good advice.

“Parents can suck,” she agrees, thinking of Penelope Blossom and the little experience she does have with meddling, evil parents.

“Believe me, I know,” the blonde commiserates with a sigh, and Toni knows she does; Alice might not be Hiram or Penelope levels of evil, but that doesn’t mean she’s not difficult in her own way. “But anyways, I didn’t come over here for all of that. I just wanted to say you should come by the Blue & Gold tomorrow so we can talk about you joining.”

Considering she was basically bribed into even thinking about working for the school newspaper, Toni can’t deny that the smile that tugs at her lips is genuine.

She really does love photography.

(Toni loves Cheryl and making her happy, too.)

“Sounds good,” she agrees easily, sliding Betty’s refilled glass in front of her. “After school?”

The blonde smiles as she grabs her drink and nods, raising it in thanks before she heads back to join the boys.

Toni doesn’t want to mention the newspaper thing to Cheryl until she’s got the job, so when the redhead asks her about going to Pop’s after school as they exit their last period class the next day, she promises to meet her there a little later, before she heads to the Blue & Gold.

She gets there before Betty, who rushes in a few minutes later with arms full of folders she can’t wait to put down.

“Sorry to make you wait,” she apologizes as she moves past her, dropping her collection on her desk with a thud. “I had to get some research material from Ms. Bell before she went home.”

“No worries,” Toni assures her, adjusting the strap of her backpack as she watches the other girl get situated.

They make small talk for a couple of minutes - about Fangs’ party, the Vixens, homework - until Betty has everything where she wants it.

Once the blonde is seated and her desk is organized, she nods towards one of the chairs in the room, letting Toni know she can grab a seat herself.

“So, photography,” she begins casually, as the Serpent drags a chair over to place in front of Betty’s desk. “Do you have any professional experience?”

“I’ve helped my mom with some shoots up in Centerville,” Toni answers, dropping her bag to the floor and settling into her seat. “Like assisted her for the day when something fell through.” She didn’t get to touch any of the cameras on those days, but Betty doesn’t need to know that. “I was almost the photographer on the Red & Black,” she adds. “Before…”

Betty’s face lights up in recognition. “Mr. Phillips,” she recalls, a tiny smug smirk creeping onto her face as she thinks of him. She shakes her head after a moment. “Well, it’s a school newspaper, we obviously don’t _require_ professional experience, but that’s good to know. Do you have a portfolio with you or anything? Jughead said you were great, and that’s good enough for me, but I’d love to see some of your work.”

_Fuck_, Toni knew she forgot something.

Though in her defense, Betty should’ve mentioned that last night.

“I don’t, actually,” she admits reluctantly, even though she knows the blonde won’t hold it against her, but when Betty’s phone buzzes on her desk, a light bulb goes off. “But I do have an Insta account you can check out. I post some of my stuff there on and off,” Toni offers, giving her the handle.

It’s an account she doesn’t really advertise, one Cheryl peer pressured her into setting up, before.

(Which really just means she asked, pouted and kissed her, and Toni gave in.)

She used it a lot at first - mostly to post pictures she’d taken on her phone of, you guessed it, Cheryl - but then everything went to shit and Toni didn’t really take pictures for a long time after that.

It wasn’t until Jason’s death that she really remembered the importance of the art, when that was all she had of him then, other than the memories she had nobody to share with.

Toni had spent hours one day - the day of his funeral, actually, when Penelope hadn’t let her in to say goodbye - looking through every Polaroid she had of the boy that was like a brother, and then ones of his sister too, and she’d put some on her wall that night; started the collage of pictures that would turn into what it is now.

It would still be a few months before she really picked up a camera again - a real one this time, one her mother had given her for her birthday that year, but she hadn’t used yet - when the truth about Jason’s murder came out and her last remaining connection to Cheryl dried up.

Of all the things Toni associated with her former best friend (maybe girlfriend) at the time, she still doesn’t know why photography had been the outlet she chose, but it helped her feel tethered to Cheryl somehow, the way she thought of her with every picture she took, and she hasn’t put her camera down since.

Her subjects of choice were vastly different than before, and most of those pictures ended up on her bedroom wall instead of on her Instagram account, but every once in awhile she’d remember it and upload a few of her favorite photos.

Toni didn’t start using it regularly again until recently, when she started taking pictures of her original subject.

All of this is to say that Toni’s photography account is mostly filled with pictures of Cheryl - something teen detective Betty doesn’t fail to notice as soon as she opens it on her phone.

“You really have always been in love with her, huh?” Betty comments, mostly to herself, as she scrolls through all forty-eight pictures there - thirty-seven of which feature a certain redhead.

It makes it hard to deny, but that doesn’t mean Toni’s not gonna try. “What are talking about?” is her all too transparent attempt.

“Cheryl,” the blonde answers casually, eyes still glued to her screen as her thumb shows her more and more evidence of her theory.

Like Fangs and Sweet Pea before her, Betty’s not saying it as an accusation, and there’s nothing teasing in her tone, but Toni’s cheeks still heat up as she shifts in her seat, a little uncomfortable at being _seen_.

She considers denying it, or trying to avoid it altogether, but what’s the point? If two oblivious boys like Sweet Pea and Fangs have picked up on it, it can’t be much of a secret.

Toni decides, right then, that she doesn’t care if her friends know she’s in love with Cheryl - she honestly never did.

It was always _Cheryl_ who wanted to keep her feelings hidden, so as long as their past stays just between them, Toni doesn’t mind how many people know how she feels in the present.

“I’m that obvious, huh?” she eventually laughs, lightly and self deprecatingly.

Betty finally looks up, offering her a sympathetic but sweet smile. “She clearly inspires you,” she points out, lifting her phone to indicate she’s referring to the overwhelming amount of pictures of Cheryl. “Like she’s your muse.”

It’s not exactly new information, but it’s not something Toni’s really considered before either, not in as many words.

But it’s true, as cheesy as it sounds - if she were some creepy old dude, anyways.

“People have made whole careers on lesser beauties,” she shrugs, joking to lighten the mood, but they both know she means it, too.

It does the job, though, and gets Betty to move the conversation along. “They’re really amazing photos, Toni,” she tells her, putting her phone aside and giving the girl in front of her a smile. “The Blue & Gold would be lucky to feature your work.”

“Really?” Toni asks, grin spreading across her face, realizing she wanted this more than she thought.

(Cheryl knows her so well.)

Betty nods, her own smile widening as she reaches for one of the folders she came in with. “We’ll talk more next week, hopefully get you your first assignment, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Toni agrees easily, standing up as she senses her cue to leave. “_Thanks_, Betty.”

The blonde waves her off, already drowning herself in whatever she’s investigating, and Toni takes her leave, pulling out her phone to let Cheryl know she can’t wait to see her.

She leaves school and heads straight to Pop’s, parking her bike beside the red convertible already waiting there, and finds Cheryl sitting in what’s become their regular table when she gets inside.

“Hey you,” Toni says before her best friend even sees her, bending down to give her a quick hug before she slides into the booth across from her. “Thanks for waiting.”

“Of course,” Cheryl tells her, a book she immediately closes and a half empty strawberry shake in front of her. “Why for the delay? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, no, everything’s good,” the pink haired girl assures her, settling into her seat and pulling her jacket off. “I just had to talk to Betty about the Blue & Gold.”

Cheryl’s face lights up at her words. “About gracing their pages with your superb photography skills, I hope?”

Toni laughs softly at the hype. “I don’t know about all of that, but yeah,” she shares, trying to play it cool by fighting the smile from breaking out on her face, and failing. “I got the job.”

“Oh, T.T., that’s wonderful!” Cheryl cheers, immediately reaching across the table to cover Toni’s hand in hers, because another hug isn’t feasible at the moment. “I’m _so _proud of you.”

That hits Toni somewhere close to her heart.

“Thanks, Bombshell,” she replies somewhat demurely, because while she may not be unfamiliar with pride, it’s been a long time since she’s gotten it from the person it means the most coming from.

“I suppose this means we’ll have to arrange a Vixens audition for you sometime next week, as well,” Cheryl muses with pursed lips and a glint in her eyes, her fingers fiddling with the pink bracelet around Toni’s wrists, in a way that has her nails tickling her skin and making her shiver.

Why does everything Cheryl say and do lately feel a bit like flirting?

Toni can’t tell if the redhead has changed since the party - since Never Have I Ever, or maybe even before that, in Veronica’s room - or if _she’s_ the one seeing her differently, but either way, something’s shifted.

And certainly not in a bad way.

“Can’t wait,” she replies in the same, almost flirty tone, and pulls Cheryl’s shake over to steal a sip. “But forget next week and all my new extracurriculars; you’re coming to Fangs’ party on Friday, right?”

Cheryl rolls her eyes playfully, at her question or thievery, she’s not sure. “Yes, I’ve already promised him I’d attend,” she answers, trying to sound put out but not really looking the part. “After I was assured it would be nothing like that of Veronica's party.”

“Nothing like it,” Toni assures her, feeling the mood dip a little, but pushing past it. “It’s basically just a big barbecue that goes all night, with fireworks and shit. The Fogartys do it every year.”

“Sounds lovely,” Cheryl replies, almost sounding like she means it. “I do so love fireworks.”

“I know,” the Serpent smiles fondly, thinking of all those 4th of July celebrations they got to enjoy together every year before they were separated for the rest of the summer. Which brings her to; “My mom’s gonna be there, you know?”

It’s not something they’ve ever discussed before, her and Cheryl - it’s always just been Toni and her mother, and Toni’s assumptions.

She’s never actually told Cheryl how often her mother asks about her, and definitely not how much she’s wanted to see her, though she imagines she knows.

But Cheryl never picks her up or comes by her trailer to hang out when she knows her mom’s in town, so Toni’s always gotten the message, as loudly as she’s always gotten what’s been left unsaid about the Wyrm and everything else - she’s not ready.

“She wasn’t home this last weekend, so I had discerned as much, yes,” Cheryl says casually, trying to play it down by still leaving so much in between the lines.

“I’ll tell her not to tackle you, but she’s gonna be stoked to see you,” Toni can’t help but tell her, sliding the milkshake back across the table. “She asks about you all the time.”

Cheryl’s cool facade cracks a little as she can’t help but smile. “I look forward to seeing her as well,” she admits softly, still fiddling with the bracelet. “It’s been far too long.”

It’s just a simple statement of truth, but one that can be said about so much.

“Way too long,” Toni agrees just as softly, quirking the side of her mouth up as she looks into brown eyes.

Neither of them are talking about her mother anymore.

*

Thursday goes by with little incident - save for some moment in the student lounge that Toni missed, but Fangs claims was _super fucking awkward_, when Veronica came in while Archie and Josie were hanging out - and Friday is much the same, at least during the day.

But once school’s over, it’s another thing entirely.

Cheryl has to go home to change first, so Toni heads back to the Southside with the boys, and her mother is already waiting for her when she gets there.

Jake is still around too, unfortunately - never one to miss a Serpent party - but he keeps his distance, at least, and she finally gets back inside.

“Where’s that ginger girl you promised me I’d finally get to see?” is the first thing her mother says to her when she walks through the door, and Toni would be offended if she was greeted with anything else.

But that doesn’t stop her from complaining, anyways. “Way to make your daughter feel special, Ma,” she whines, dropping her bag and letting her mother pull her into a hug that she pretends not to want.

“Aw, you’re a good consolation prize, bug,” her mother teases right back, kissing her forehead and leading her further into the trailer.

When Cheryl finally shows up a couple of hours later, after getting held up by Penelope and Toni assumes her incessant grilling about just where she was going for the evening, the warm motherly hug Karla Topaz greets her with is sorely needed.

“Oh, it is_ so_ good to see you, kiddo,” the older woman breathes out, like finally having Cheryl in front of her and in her arms is some kind of relief.

Cheryl doesn’t say anything back, just squeezes her eyes shut tight as she holds on just as firmly; clinging to the only mother she’s ever really had.

Toni stands in the kitchen watching them, hand over her heart and a few tears in her eyes.

She’s a sucker for a good reunion.

They spend the next hour catching up, and Toni gives them the privacy to do so, slipping outside to help set up for the party and coming back to nothing but smiles.

“Am I allowed to come back in yet?” she questions jokingly, already inside.

Her mother rolls her eyes. “Nobody kicked you out,” she answers in faux exasperation, clearly used to her daughter’s antics and playing her part well.

Toni smiles back and shrugs, because she’s right, but neither of them would ever have to.

Cheryl and her mother have always had their own relationship, independent from her, and Toni wouldn’t have it any other way.

She knew from a young age that Cheryl’s mother was evil, so she never minded sharing hers; she just wished she had a father to give her, too.

“Yeah, yeah,” she shoots back as she joins them at the kitchen table, opting, of course, for the chair beside her best friend.

“Now how come you never mentioned how gorgeous Cheryl's gotten?” her mother demands before she’s even sitting down.

Toni scoffs, and replies without thinking, “I seem to recall that I _did_.”

She only realizes her slip when her mother laughs at her.

“That’s right, you did,” she chuckles smugly, sharing a knowing look with Cheryl before she gets up from the table to clean her coffee mug.

“I hate you sometimes,” Toni grumbles, swatting the woman when she passes and trying not to look at the girl beside her.

But Cheryl bumps their knees together and reaches out to brush her knuckles against the soft skin of her cheek. “I think you’re gorgeous too, T.T.,” she tells her sweetly, offering her a toothy smile that gets Toni’s insides all fluttery.

It’s another small moment, one that might seem even smaller without all the others, but when she puts them all together, it makes something big.

Toni just can’t quite make out what it is yet.

The party kicks off when Hog Eye starts up the barbecue, and everyone is already outside by the time Cheryl, Toni and her mother join.

The older woman breaks off to go catch up with friends - she may not be a Serpent herself, or like that her daughter is one, but they were her husband’s family, so they’re still hers, too - while the girls do the same.

“Hey, birthday boy,” Toni laughs when she sees Fangs in his pink birthday sash and hat, a big grin on his face that widens when he sees her and Cheryl approaching.

“Tiny!” he cheers, sounding way past tipsy and on his way to drunk. He sweeps her up in his arms for a hug and spins her around, only putting her down when she smacks him hard enough. “You came! And you brought Red!”

“Don’t even think about it, Pinky,” Cheryl warns him before he can even take a step towards her. His eyes widen comically for a moment when he freezes, but then he relaxes when the redhead turns her gaze to the taller boy standing beside him. “The Pea Brain,” she nods in acknowledgement.

Sweet Pea smirks, now just amused by her sharp tongue and creative insults, even when they’re aimed at him, and raises a fist. “Nice.”

Cheryl’s eyes roll, but she bumps it with her own anyways, and Toni tries not to laugh watching the whole thing.

“Happy birthday, Fangs,” the redhead eventually says kindly, even hugging him when she’s confident he won’t do more to her than that.

“Thanks, Blossom,” he replies with his grin back in place, squeezing her once before letting her go, careful not to spill any of his beer on her like he did her tinier counterpart. “Nice of you to join the fun.”

Toni watches as Cheryl’s eyes roam the busy trailer park, to watch kids running all over the place, while teens loiter and adults talk; there’s water gun fights and a mini football game, face painting and snack tents, old men showing off their bikes and women watching over everyone.

It paints a pretty good picture of a typical Serpent gathering, and it fills Toni with an inexplicable warmth to have Cheryl here, a part of it.

This is Toni’s life - this trailer park, the people in it, and the girl beside her - and it means the world to her to have it all in front of her like this, together.

Everything and everyone Toni loves is right here, and even though she knows she won’t need a picture to remember this feeling - that no matter how talented a photographer she is, one could never do it justice - she can’t resist taking a bunch anyways.

Toni takes pictures of Cheryl sandwiched between Sweet Pea and Fangs; some posed, their arms around her like her older brothers, and some not, the boys doubled over laughing while she pretends to be annoyed by them.

She takes pictures of Hog Eye serving kids hot dogs and cheeseburgers, before they stuff their faces and make a mess of themselves, and then snaps shots of their parents cleaning them up, too.

She finds Betty sitting in Jughead’s lap, legs draped over his as he actually shares his food with her, and she _has_ to memorialize the occasion; taking a few extra even after the food is done, because maybe they can be kind of cute sometimes and it’ll make a good future gift for one of them, whenever she needs it.

Toni takes pictures of Fangs and his family, of the love and joy that radiates from them all, especially when they smash a cake in his face.

Her flash captures shots of Byrdie painting children’s faces, Sweet Pea giving them piggy back rides, Hot Dog chasing the football and her mother with her own camera, too, documenting everything, the same as her.

Toni wanders around the party and records it all, her finger trained on the shutter release until her lens is drawn to Cheryl, like always, standing by the fire and watching her.

“Sorry I kinda ditched you a little,” she apologizes as she approaches her, finally letting her camera go so that it hangs from her neck.

Cheryl just smiles, not at all bothered. “Don’t be silly,” the redhead insists, wrapping her arms around herself as she shifts from one foot to the other. “I enjoy watching you in your element.”

“You’re cold,” Toni realizes, a statement instead of a question, the previous topic forgotten as she starts pulling her jacket off.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Cheryl tries to assure her, but then just huffs when the smaller girl wraps the worn leather around her bare and shivering shoulders. It’s tighter on her than it is on Toni, but God, does it look _good_. “You really didn’t have to do that. Now I fear you’ll get chilly.”

Toni just waves her off, tugging at the long sleeve of the shirt tied around her waist. “Don’t worry, my flannel isn’t just an aesthetic,” she tells her, picking up her camera and aiming it at the redhead. “But_ this _look is,” she declares, and well, Cheryl’s never said _no_ to a photoshoot.

As the night goes on, Cheryl becomes the center of attention, especially wearing Toni’s Serpent jacket.

Which isn’t unusual for her, of course, and usually something she craves and cultivates herself, but Toni can tell she’s starting to get overwhelmed by all the questions and small talk from all the people coming up to her, and the staring and hushed whispers from all the people that don’t.

Nobody is being blatantly rude or unwelcoming, Toni’s thankful to note, but the Serpents can be a lot, she knows.

So when Mr. Fogarty starts talking about getting the fireworks setup once it’s dark enough, Toni decides to swoop in and steal the girl away.

“Where on earth are we going?” Cheryl wonders as she’s pulled away, though she trusts Toni enough to go with her.

The pink haired girl just smiles and tugs her along, waving at Betty and Jughead as they pass them where they’re now sitting on the steps of his trailer, until they make it back to hers, grabbing a couple of picnic blankets on her way.

But instead of going inside, Toni leads them behind it, hidden away from the noise and the rest of the crowd.

She grabs the side of the ladder attached to the trailer, and nods towards the roof. “Ladies first,” she offers with a flourish, giving Cheryl a few beats to move and then raising an eyebrow when the other girl just looks up, unsure. “What, you too fancy to climb a ladder, Blossom?”

“Of course not,” she scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder dramatically. “Merely ruminating the odds of you tossing me off the roof once we get up there.”

Toni lets out a breathy laugh as she shakes her head. “I just saved you from the wolves, Cher, I’m not about to throw you back to them,” she assures her, knowing what she’s really worried about is the height. The trailer isn’t that tall, but Cheryl’s never been a fan. “Come on, up you get, it’ll be fine.”

The redhead chews her lip for another moment before sucking it up and starting her climb. She has a bit of difficulty due to her choice in shoes - which were already ridiculous for a party in a trailer park - but eventually she makes it, with Toni not far behind.

“Wow, what a breathtaking view,” Cheryl says as she stands up and takes the sight in, pulling the leather jacket tighter around herself, and though she says it completely seriously, her sarcasm is obvious due only to the fact that her words are completely false.

Toni rolls her eyes as she steps up beside her, leather brushing against flannel as they look down at the party below them.

“I didn’t bring you up here for the view,” she tells her, bumping their hips before moving away, using her phone as a flashlight to navigate in the dark.

“Then for why?” the taller girl asks curiously, turning around to watch Toni lay out the blankets that had been tucked under her arm.

“For the privacy,” she answers like it’s obvious, glancing up to flash her best friend a smile, and catching sight of something behind her in the light of her screen. “Oh shit, I forgot that was up here.”

Toni moves past Cheryl to grab the forgotten tent from where it’s tucked up against the extension Jake added onto the trailer when she and her mother moved in; taking off her camera to quickly unzip the bag it’s been packed up in since the last time she was up here, something like a year ago.

It’s the tent she used to use when her grandfather would take her camping in Fox Forest as a kid, so it’s pink and not very big, but Toni’s hit with a wave of nostalgia when she sees it, all the same.

“Are we camping out up here?” Cheryl’s voice cuts through her memories. “Because I am _not_ dressed for that.”

The only answer she gets is a laugh, before Toni starts setting it up.

Mr. Fogarty and his friends prove to be less competent than Toni, because by the time the tent is up and occupied, the fireworks still haven’t started yet.

“So where does Penelope think you are tonight?” Toni wonders once they’ve settled at the front of the tent, keeping the front unzipped so they’ll be able to see the show - if it ever starts.

Cheryl never really talks about her mother much, let alone the fact that she has to lie every time they hang out, but she doesn’t need to; Toni just knows Penelope isn’t aware of their rekindled friendship.

It probably would have been a harder secret to keep before, back when the Blossoms were a feared, if not respected, family on the Northside, and Penelope had connections, if not friends, who would surely fill her in if they saw her daughter traipsing around town with a Serpent.

But as it is, the Blossoms have fallen from grace since the truth of Clifford’s role in his own son’s death came to light, along with the truth behind the success of their infamous maple syrup dynasty, so Penelope doesn’t have the sources she used to, and certainly not the friends.

“Josie’s,” Cheryl informs her, scowling a bit at the mention of her mother.

Toni figured as much. “And does _Josie_ know you’re here?”

“Of course,” the other girl answers quickly, turning her gaze from the night sky to look at Toni beside her. “You know she holds no ill feelings towards Sweet Pea, and_ she_ knows that he’s still a friend to me, regardless of their relationship status. Just as you all are.”

Toni kinda figured that too, but it’s nice to hear.

“You Northsiders are so mature,” she bemoans jokingly, like the Archie/Veronica/Josie side of that mess isn’t ready to blow up at any minute.

“What about you?” Cheryl pivots the conversational topic, and for a moment, Toni thinks she’s asking about exes, but she thankfully follows it up with clarity. “Why do you have a tent on the roof of your trailer?”

It’s an innocent question, but it shifts the mood a bit, at least for her, though she supposes it’s fair play, considering she brought up Penelope first.

“Uncle Jake used to be hard to live with,” she eventually answers, keeping it vague and simple, like always. “Back when I used to actually have to live with him.”

Before he just started locking her out instead of dealing with her at all, and sleeping on the roof for a week didn’t seem like an option.

“You don’t talk about him much,” Cheryl acknowledges softly after a heavy moment of silence, not pushing the subject, but giving her an opening if she wants to take it.

Toni shrugs, though what she says is anything but casual; “There’s a lot of things we don’t talk about,” she acknowledges herself, making it the closest they’ve ever gotten, and maybe ever will.

Somehow though, it feels like enough.

Because the air between them shifts again, more electric than heavy, but that might just be the fireworks that finally start going off in front of them.

They’re loud and bright, and the people cheering below are just as obnoxious, but Toni’s brain doesn’t register any of it, not with Cheryl looking at her like that.

It’s not the same awed look she had that afternoon years ago, sitting in a fort in her living room, but the way the colored lights streak across her pale face and flash in her eyes, has Toni sure that’s how she’s looking at Cheryl now.

She looks _beautiful_, but before Toni can say it, or consider the fact that this tent feels a little like a fort, Cheryl’s closing the space that’s between them and kissing her.

And suddenly she can’t tell which explosions of light are from the fireworks in the sky and which are from the ones going off behind her eyes.

It’s like their first kiss all over again, while being nothing like it, too; it’s new and exciting, and like coming home, all at the same time, and she _melts_ into it.

Cheryl’s lipstick tastes like cherries and her kiss tastes like love; her lips are as soft as they look and they fit perfectly against her own.

Toni hasn’t felt like this in over two years - if she’s ever even felt it at all - and as she lifts her hand up to wrap delicate fingers around Cheryl’s neck and pull her closer, she hopes she never has to go without it ever again.

They don’t talk about the kiss when it’s over.

Just smile at each other, soft and sweet like the kiss itself, and watch the rest of the fireworks huddled together.

And they don’t talk about the kiss that happens a few hours later, either, when they’re sharing a bed for the second time in as many years, and Cheryl takes Toni’s lips between her own once again.

There’s no fireworks this time, just electricity in her veins and a familiar fluttering in her belly, one that doesn’t go away when they stop, not even in her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter was worth the two month wait, even if it only ended up being half of what it was supposed to be. But this way, you get to leave off on a happy note before shit hits the fan, so! As always, please, please tell me what you thought of the chapter - favorite scenes, lines, characters, speculation, whatever - because I love hearing it. Until next time, you can find me on Twitter (@mylittlefaith) or Tumblr (@cherbombshells).


	7. The Lines We Walk Are Paper Thin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Thanks for all the lovely comments on the last chapter, I'm glad you all enjoyed it, and I _really_ hope you enjoy this one, too.  
ii) This is the longest chapter yet, at 15.7k words, and it was a challenge to write, because it's a big one in more ways than one.  
iii) I considered splitting this in half, but I've done that too much and delayed stuff too much, so I kept it all together.  
iv) Big thanks to everyone that helped with this chapter, with reading it over for flow and typos and all that, especially Maria!  
v) I'll have a lot more rambling at the end, because I have a lot to say about this one!

For the second weekend in a row, Toni wakes up with a body wrapped around hers.

But there’s no alarm this time, the room is much less lavish, and the feeling in the pit of her stomach isn’t nearly as warm or fluttery.

It takes a few moments, but everything rushes her at once before she can even open her eyes, and then all she can do is groan.

She kissed Cheryl last night.

_A lot. _

There’s suddenly a weight on her chest heavier than the girl resting on it, that only gets more crushing the more she remembers, and it pins her to the mattress beneath her.

Toni reluctantly opens her eyes and she almost welcomes the blinding light peaking through the makeshift curtains of her tiny bedroom window, because it’s an easier sight to deal with than the head of messy red hair waiting for her.

She swallows painfully as she reaches for her phone, fingers blindly searching for it on the floor beside her and lifting it up when she finally finds it; the numbers on the screen tell her that it’s only 9 A.M.

There’s noise coming from the other side of the door, and Toni can only assume it’s her mother, because she’s sure Jake probably passed out somewhere before even making it home last night.

Not that she’s in _any_ position to be judging anyone’s actions from the night before, not with her own regret still sleeping soundly on top of her.

Though, honestly, she’s not entirely sure that she regrets it, as much as she fears Cheryl will.

Because Toni’s always known how she feels and what she wants, even if she didn’t always want to acknowledge it; that was never the problem with them.

Cheryl’s always been the big question mark tripping them up - the one at the end of a question Toni’s spent years wondering about and months too afraid to ask.

And now that it feels like she has, Toni’s terrified of knowing the answer.

Because even after all this time, the ball is still firmly in Cheryl’s court, and all Toni can do now is try to guard the heart she’s left wide open.

She stays in bed for another ten minutes, until she can’t stand it anymore and she has to leave before Cheryl wakes up.

God, does Toni _not_ want to be there when Cheryl wakes up.

Trying her best to avoid that, she carefully slips out from underneath the redhead and gets out of bed, grabbing the baggy flannel shirt she wore last night off the floor and quietly getting the hell out of there.

Just as she thought, her mother is puttering around the kitchen making breakfast, and Toni sighs in relief when she sees the coffee is already made.

“I love when you come home,” she sighs with a tired smile, heading straight for the coffee maker.

Her mother laughs lightly and flips the pancakes. “I always suspected you missed my coffee more than me,” she plays along, craning her neck so Toni can kiss her cheek. “‘Morning, bug.”

“Good morning,” the teen mumbles back before taking a sip and a seat, trying to keep her mind in this room instead of the one she just left.

But that’s hard to do when her mother doesn’t get the memo.

“Did I hear Cheryl come in with you last night?” she wonders almost immediately.

She’d left the party earlier than them, and though they’d tried to be quiet when they came in, apparently their tipsy giggling and the way they were falling all over each other wasn’t as conspicuous as she’d hoped.

“Yeah, she’s still sleeping,” Toni confirms in a grumble, keeping her tone neutral.

Her mother hums, turning back to the stove. “We’ll let her rest a little longer then.”

Toni sighs again, but certainly doesn’t argue.

Ten more minutes before the inevitable awkwardness and heartbreak is better than nothing.

Cheryl emerges just as breakfast is ready, after Toni is sent to wake her up and she settles for knocking on her door because going inside would mean actually talking to her.

(She’d gotten a weird look from her mother for that, but whatever.)

“Good morning, sweetie,” her mother greets their guest in that overly sweet tone she uses just for Cheryl, even after all these years - the one Toni usually appreciates, but right now, makes her teeth and heart ache. “Did you sleep okay?”

“I slept very well,” Cheryl answers politely, and even more surprising, maybe even sincerely. Toni risks a glance over at the redhead as she sits down in the chair adjacent from her, her curiosity overpowering her self preservation. “Except that I woke up alone.”

Toni balks at her words, and the flirty, teasing way she says them, and almost just jumps out of her chair when she feels Cheryl’s foot graze her calf underneath the table.

_Well._

This is unexpected.

“Yeah, uh, sorry,” she chokes out, reaching for her mug and taking a gulp of coffee before finally looking at the redhead for longer than a few seconds; she, of course, looks gorgeous. “I had to use the bathroom and figured I’d just stay up.”

A lie, obviously, but it’s not like Toni’s going to admit that she got the hell out of there to avoid - or at least put off - the awkward, and _very painful_, morning after regret of making out with her best friend, who used to be so much more than that, but refuses to talk about it.

The regret that - she’s trying not to let herself consider - may have been slightly exaggerated.

But before Cheryl can give her much more to work with, her mother is chiming in. “Breakfast is served,” she announces with a smile and a flourish, placing a few plates of food on the table in front of them.

It’s hardly the extravagant display Veronica had for them last weekend, but one bite confirms to her that it’s just as good.

“This tastes amazing, Karla,” Cheryl gushes, waiting until she’s completely swallowed her bite of eggs before speaking, of course. “I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed your cooking.”

Her mother beams at the compliment as she slips into the chair across from her daughter.

“Well, I hope that means we can expect you for breakfast around here more often then,” she says simply, kindly and so obviously hopefully.

And while Cheryl returns the sentiment, she directs her smile and optimism in Toni’s direction instead of her mothers. “I hope so, too,” she agrees softly, eyeing her imploringly.

All Toni can do is shove half a pancake in her mouth and rethink everything she thought she was sure of.

As soon as Toni’s mother finishes her breakfast, she’s out of there, off to go find her brother-in-law and see if she can help with the party clean up, but not before making Cheryl promise to stick around until she gets back.

Which leaves the two girls alone together a lot sooner than Toni was hoping.

“Look, about last night...” she starts hesitantly.

“I had a lot of fun,” Cheryl interjects before she has to find a way to end that thought.

_Record scratch._

“You, _you did_?” Toni can’t quite believe, words spoken so quietly, she’s surprised the redhead even hears her.

But the soft smile Cheryl is directing her way confirms she did. “Of course, silly,” she tells her gently, and while the words make it seem like it should be obvious to Toni, there’s something in the way she says them that makes Toni think she understands why it isn’t. Then, her smile falters just a bit. “Did you not enjoy yourself?”

“Of course I did, Cher,” the pink haired girl replies just as gently, fighting her own smile but sighing her answer because it’s so _painfully_ true.

Cheryl’s lips pull wider again, her brown eyes lighting up just a smidge as her shoulders relax; Toni’s not the only nervous one.

“Good,” she breathes out with a firm nod, relief obvious on her face as she reaches over to squeeze Toni’s hand before standing up from her seat. “Now, would you mind terribly if I were to have a quick shower? Mother would find it suspicious if I returned home from the McCoys’ without having one.”

Toni blinks up at the other girl, thrown off by the sudden change in subject; or rather the sudden dropping of one.

Is that settled now?

Does that actually count as _talking about it_?

Toni’s not sure, but Cheryl’s looking down at her and things are good, so all she can really say is, “Uh, yeah, sure.”

“_Merci_,” the redhead grins, turning around briefly to put her plate in the sink before she leans down to press a lingering kiss to Toni’s cheek and heads towards her bedroom, leaving the Serpent to figure out what the hell just happened and what it all means.

Toni waits until she hears the shower start before she even thinks about moving, shoving the last bite of her toast into her mouth before she starts cleaning everything up as she replays the conversation over in her head.

Which went… better than she expected?

Well, no, it’s not really a question, because that was _definitely_ better than the awkwardness, rejection or regret she had been preparing herself for, but it wasn’t exactly ideal, either.

Because as usual, they didn’t actually talk about it, not really.

Toni might have a better idea of where Cheryl stands now than she did when she first woke up, but she still has dozens more unanswered questions.

Ones about last night and two years ago, and tomorrow, too.

Questions she’ll never get answers for unless she actually asks them, she knows, but that’s hard to do when she’s so scared to hear what they are.

As much as Toni’s always wanted to know what happened last time, she’s always been just as terrified.

Because what if the answer isn’t good enough?

What if she finally asks Cheryl why she shattered her heart the way she did and after all this time, the reason doesn’t justify it?

What if Toni’s been giving her best friend the benefit of the doubt all this time - put up with so much pain and held on so tightly, for both of them - and Cheryl didn’t deserve it?

Toni’s not sure she could handle that.

She wasn’t sure when she texted Cheryl about everything but what she should have been; she wasn’t sure when their new worlds collided and she had the chance to rebuild what the redhead broke so suddenly; she’s not sure now.

Now, when Toni’s finally just kissed Cheryl again and has another spark of hope that maybe she’s not the only one still carrying around these feelings she tried to pretend she could learn to live with; that maybe Cheryl really hasn’t gotten over her first love, either.

Things seem to be good right now, maybe even _really _good, and even more, they’re hopeful - maybe some answers aren’t worth the risk of ruining that.

At least not yet.

Cheryl, unsurprisingly, seems to be on the same page as Toni, because when she returns, refreshed from her shower, she doesn’t bring it up.

She does, however, kiss Toni again.

Not on the lips, but close enough and long enough that there’s no way it’s meant to be platonic.

Then she drops down beside Toni on the couch, sits sideways and drapes her legs over her lap, which isn’t that unusual, to be honest, but the way she’s playing with her hair is, and she’s really close, too.

Something about it all just feels very intimate and coupley and-

“When did you first dye your hair?” Cheryl wonders, curiously inspecting a few pink strands between her fingers.

Toni licks her lips and swallows, trying to push all of her thoughts to the back of her head so she can just be here, and present, and _normal _for this conversation.

“Right after I joined the Serpents,” she answers, leaning her head against the back of the couch and placing her hands on Cheryl’s shins; _normal_.

“May I ask why?”

Toni lolls her head to look at the girl beside and smirks. “You trying to tell me something, Cher?”

“No, of course not,” the redhead replies lightly, offering reassurance she knows Toni doesn’t really need. “You know _j’adore_ your hair.”

The Serpent’s smirk settles into more of a smile, because she does know that; she’ll never forget the first kind thing Cheryl said to her after two years of silence and a couple weeks of snark.

Her first tiny glimpse of hope.

“Yeah, I know,” Toni says softly, squeezing the pale legs she’s holding, only hesitating for the briefest moment before she opens up. “That’s why I started doing it.”

She watches Cheryl’s face as she says it, and feels a bit wistful at the surprise she finds.

“Moi?” she questions, with a painfully adorable little head tilt of confusion that fills Toni with a rush of affection that chases away any trace of the melancholy that was creeping in at the memory of the distance that used to be between them.

“I texted you, the night of my Serpent dance,” Toni recalls after a moment. “It’s a really sexist tradition and I was nervous as hell, but it was just one of those things I really wanted to tell my best friend about.” Cheryl’s lips droop a little in sympathy - at which part, Toni’s not sure - and when she reaches over to take one of the other girl’s hands in her own, it feels a little like an apology. “You didn’t reply, but you almost did. You _thought_ about it and it sounds stupid, but just seeing those little dots, I don’t know, it felt like you were there with me in that moment, and it helped me go out there and do what I had to do.” It helped her go out there and dance, and see nobody but Cheryl in the crowd. “So the next day, I dyed my hair pink because it made me think of you and I’d feel like you were with me all the time.”

Delicate fingers are playing with the pink bracelet on her wrist, the one she hasn’t taken off since she got it in the mail one summer years ago, and Toni suddenly worries she’s said too much and made the moment too heavy.

It’s not like they haven’t discussed the texts before, or things much more personal than this, but Cheryl’s made it clear she wants light and easy this morning, and maybe she’s broken that unspoken request to not speak of the past - at least not _theirs_.

But Cheryl asked, and it’s not Toni’s fault that the redhead hasn’t figured out that everything comes back to _her_ yet.

“_Toni…_”

“I told you, it’s stupid,” she mumbles and looks away, trying to play it down, but Cheryl just shakes her head.

“Not at all,” the other girl asserts gently, and cups Toni’s cheek so she can guide her gaze back to hers. “I think it’s incredibly sweet, just like you.”

It doesn’t escape Toni’s attention that Cheryl offers no story of her own, of how she read all those message - which Toni _knows_ she did - nor a way in which she kept Toni with her while they were apart, but that’s not much of a surprise; the girl didn’t even wear her own bracelet until recently, after all.

But Cheryl’s leaning forward and kissing her again, on the lips this time, and Toni can’t bring herself to think, let alone _care_, about anything else; not the past or future.

Just the present.

Her mother comes back - with Jake - not very long after that, and Cheryl leaves.

She doesn’t want to intrude on their mother/daughter time, she says, much to both mother and daughter’s protest, and gives them both hugs before she makes her exit.

Toni’s is tighter and lingers a little bit longer, of course.

They text all weekend, and Cheryl’s increased use of flirty emojis - red hearts, winks, heart eyes, kissy faces, etc - doesn’t go unnoticed by Toni, just unspoken.

She hears all about her afternoon with Josie, complete with pictures she didn’t ask for but appreciates, but she doesn’t hear anything about Penelope or if she gave her a hard time when she got home.

Which is fair, because Cheryl hears about the dance routine she and her mother came up with and the bet Sweet Pea lost to Fangs over a game of beer pong during her shift at the Wyrm, but not about how Jake smashed a bottle over the bar when she cut him off after his seventh drink.

Toni’s not sure who’s following whose lead, or if they’re both just trying to walk the same tightrope without tripping, but she tries not to think about it too much.

Maybe it’s just too soon.

Perhaps, like everything else, she just needs to give it time and let it happen how it’s gonna happen.

(_Sweetest dreams, my sweet_, Cheryl’s final message of the weekend reads.)

It’s worked out well for her so far.

*

Monday comes before she knows it and Toni’s not sure how to act around Cheryl at school.

Everything’s changed between them since the last time they were here, while nothing has, too.

The redhead was kissing her casually Saturday morning, and being very liberal with her emojis and pet names all weekend, but something tells Toni not to expect her best friend (not likely to be girlfriend) to plant a big one on her in the middle of the hallway when they see each other.

It’s not like she can really ask the other girl, because that feels like breaking another unspoken rule, so she guesses like most things, Toni will just go with Cheryl’s flow.

Which, as it turns out, is to act the way they always do - small hugs, little touches, smiles and laughs, but nothing that’s not platonic - until they’re alone.

She kinda figured this is how it would go.

This isn’t their first go ‘round, after all, even if one of them might be pretending it is.

It takes until lunchtime for anything out of the ordinary to happen, when Cheryl catches Toni on her way to the cafeteria, pulls her into the empty girl’s bathroom and kisses her as soon as the door closes and locks behind them.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Toni laughs lightly through a grin when the other girl finally pulls back, her lips still tingling and no doubt redder than they were before.

Cheryl grins right back, brushing the tip of her nose against her cheek. “Mhmm, you’ve already had the pleasure of seeing me today.”

“Not like this,” she replies in a hum, eyes fluttering closed as she leans against a stall and grips Cheryl by both of her hips. “I was starting to think I imagined the other night.”

It’s not true, obviously, and she just says it to be flirty or teasing or _something_, but the way the redhead tenses in her hands tells her that’s not the way she’s taken it.

Toni opens her eyes again as Cheryl pulls away from her slightly - not out of her arms, but just enough so that she can hold her gaze - and she finds she can’t quite read the look on her face.

“I’m sorry,” Cheryl begins in a mumble, bowing her head a bit in what might be shame. “I-I don’t mean to confuse you.”

The pink haired girl shakes her head, because Cheryl is a lot of things, but she’s not confusing, not to her.

A mystery, sometimes, sure, but confusing? Only to other people. Toni? She understands Cheryl just fine; she knows her better than anyone, even with all the things she doesn’t know.

She might not always be able to _predict_ everything about her, but that’s part of why she loves her.

Cheryl is unpredictable, but she’s not confusing.

Not to Toni.

“You don’t confuse me,” she tells her sweetly, squeezing the girl’s hips as she drops her forehead against hers, pulling her closer again. “You… _surprise _me.”

The Serpent feels Cheryl relax against her. “I suppose they don’t call me _Bombshell_ for naught.”

Toni breathes out a laugh, not having a doubt.

“Something tells me that’s not why they call you that.”

Cheryl smiles and bats her lashes, attempting to look demure and modest and almost succeeding.

All Toni can do is match her grin and fit them both together in a kiss.

They don’t get many moments to themselves throughout the day, and Toni has to work that night, but Cheryl links their pinkies as they leave history together, keeping them connected as they make their way through the crowd of students eager to get home.

After a quick stop at both their lockers, the redhead walks Toni out to the parking lot and over to her bike, where none of the other Serpents have gathered yet.

And they say chivalry is dead.

“I wish you weren’t busy this evening,” Cheryl pouts, running a long, red painted nail across the the leather motorcycle seat that she’s so far refused to sit on.

(Toni will get her on there someday.)

“I know, babe,” she agrees whole-heartedly. Toni doesn’t usually mind her job, since she gets to hang out with her friends and she’d most likely be there anyways, but it suddenly sounds a lot less appealing than spending time with her best friend (probably not girlfriend, but she’s closer now than she’s been in years). “But we’ll go to Pop’s after school tomorrow, okay?”

Cheryl’s frown turns upside down as she immediately perks up. “To celebrate your new allegiance to the Vixens,” she adds cheerily. “My treat, of course.”

“If I make the cut, you mean,” Toni points out teasingly, knowing full well that she could fall on her face tomorrow and Cheryl would still let her join.

It’s all formality, and transparent at that, but it was fun coming up with an audition routine with her mom over the weekend, and she can’t wait to see Cheryl’s reaction to it.

“Oh, yes, you better bring your A-game, T.T.,” the head Vixen plays along, throwing on her best HBIC face. “I don’t just let _any_ raggamuffin onto my squad, despite what Betty’s presence may suggest.”

“I heard that,” the blonde in question interjects, making her presence known as she approaches the collection of bikes hand-in-hand with her boyfriend, the other two knuckleheads trailing a little ways behind them.

Cheryl doesn’t miss a beat as she throws the newest girl a glance. “Nothing I wouldn’t have said to your face, dear cousin.”

“Is there _anything_ you wouldn’t say to someone’s face?” Jughead wonders, sounding more genuinely curious than defensive on his girlfriend’s behalf. “Other than a compliment, I mean.”

The redhead seems to consider the question seriously for a moment before deciding; “No.”

“And that’s why I like you, Red,” Sweet Pea adds once he’s joined the group, throwing a heavy and obnoxious arm over Cheryl’s shoulders and leaning his weight onto her.

She, of course, huffs and pushes him off. “Ugh, the neanderthals have arrived,” she complains, though there’s no real annoyance in her tone - it reminds Toni of her own reactions to her friends sometimes. “That’s my cue to bounce.” Cheryl moves away from Sweet Pea and closer to Toni, giving her a quick hug. “I’ll text you later, T.T.,” she tells her best friend, before sparing the others a look and a wave. “Toodles, all!”

With that, she’s spinning on her expensive red heels and sauntering away, effortlessly parting the students standing in the way of her and her precious Impala across the lot.

(They all, of course, watch her go.)

“Putting Cheryl’s lack of tact and hasty exit aside for a second,” Betty chuckles after a moment, a small hint of baffled endearment for her departed cousin slipping into her tone as she turns to the only female Serpent in the group. “I have your first Blue & Gold assignment.”

“Sweet,” Toni replies easily, tearing her eyes away from Cheryl’s retreating form. “Hit me with it.”

“The carnival they’re putting up in the Mal-Mart parking lot,” the blonde begins. “Are you going?”

Toni mounts her bike and raises an eyebrow in cautious interest. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Well you are now,” Betty informs her with a smile, leaving no room for arguments.

As far as first photography assignments go, it isn't a bad one - at least she’s not taking pictures of the chess club or something.

Toni’s relieved to get home and find Jake has disappeared again - stuck around long enough to get his monthly check from her mother for doing nothing and then split - and she spends the rest of her afternoon going over the dance routine for her audition before she has to leave for her shift at the Wyrm.

“I still can’t believe you’re gonna be a cheerleader, Tiny,” Sweet Pea comments later that night, when he’s keeping her company outside on her break.

“Why not?” she asks with slight indignation, even though it’s really not that hard to figure out.

The boy chuckles and flicks his cigarette. “Just can’t picture it,” he shrugs, amused smile growing on his face as he moves his hand in front of her. “You dancing around in a skirt, with those little pom-poms on your shoes. Actin’ peppy.”

Considering he was mooning after a Vixen not long ago, and is still getting over it, Toni knows he’s not saying he thinks less of her for wanting to join, but she still feels slightly defensive from his teasing.

“I can be peppy,” she insists.

“Sure you can,” Sweet Pea grins, exhaling away from her and laughing at how easily he can get under her skin.

“Whatever,” Toni scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest and kicking at the gravel on the ground outside of the Serpents’ bar. “It’ll look great on my college apps.”

College isn’t really something she talks about with the boys - not Sweet Pea and Fangs, anyways - because she knows the odds of them going are slim, and it feels like it might be a sore subject.

But Sweet Pea doesn’t flinch or miss a beat when he correctly surmises, “But that’s not why you’re joining.” Toni’s silence is all the confirmation he needs. “You really like Red that much, huh?”

The teasing tone is gone, replaced with a genuine interest that Toni doesn’t often hear from the boy, and all she can do is let out a long breath that almost sounds like a laugh.

“You have no idea,” she answers simply, heart thumping in her chest as she really thinks of the strength of her own feelings.

“I’ve never seen you this into someone before,” he comments after taking a drag, eyeing her curiously before he shakes his head; he’s barely ever seen her into anyone at all. “You should be careful with that. I’m happy for you, Tiny, and you know I like Red, but make sure she feels the same way before you go all in. ‘Cause, trust me, that shit hurts like brass knuckles to the face.”

It’s words stir something inside of her that Toni’s been trying to ignore for days, but not enough that she can’t continue to do so.

“Don’t worry, Sweets,” she assures him, with an ease she doesn’t quite feel and a smile that wavers just a little. “I know what I’m doing.”

The boy takes her word for it and relents, dropping the topic and his projections.

(For now.)

Toni doesn’t start feeling nervous about her audition until the day of, when she wakes up with a pit in her stomach and regret for not trying to use her status as bestie of the captain to get out of it.

She texts Cheryl to tell her as much - about the nerves, not her desire to pull strings - and of course the redhead knows just what to say to calm her down.

_Surely it can’t be more nerve wracking than that misogynistic dance you had to perform to become a Serpent_, Cheryl reasons. _If you could handle that, I have no doubt in my mind that you can handle this. You needn’t worry so much._

It’s almost sad, how much a few words from Cheryl can do to her.

_You make a good point,_ Toni types back as she sits up, waiting for those three dots to become words before she gets out of bed entirely.

_Moreover, I will be there in the flesh to support you this time_, Cheryl points out like a promise. _Surely that’s worth more than words I was too frightened to send?_

The pit in Toni’s stomach turns into more of a familiar flutter, as she grins stupidly down at her screen and the words that come two years too late, but at the exact right time, too.

_It means more than you’ll ever know, Bombshell x_, Toni tells her earnestly, signing her message off with a kiss.

After starting her day off right, Toni goes through the rest of it with a little pep in her step, and she only gets peppier with every bit of attention Cheryl pays her.

(Take _that_, Sweet Pea!)

By the time the final bell rings and she finds herself in the girl’s locker room with Cheryl and the rest of the Vixens - and rocking one of those white and orange practice shirts like she’s already on the squad - she even starts getting a little excited.

“Good luck, Toni,” Betty tells her kindly as she passes her, following the rest of the girls out into the gym.

“Yeah, you got this, girl,” Josie adds from behind her, sending her a wink and continuing on her way.

Veronica’s the last to leave, offering her a smile of encouragement, and then it’s just Toni and Cheryl.

Alone, in the girl’s locker room.

(Toni’s definitely had this dream before.)

“Are you ready?” the redhead asks her as she steps closer, her delicate hands curling around her hips.

Toni leans in, pushes up on her toes and presses her lips against Cheryl’s full ones, stealing the kiss she’s been thinking about all day long.

She takes her time pulling back, going in for one more before she does, and then nods. “I am now,” she determines with a smile.

Her body is buzzing and the way Cheryl’s looking at her isn’t doing anything to calm her down, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Good,” Cheryl grins back, giving her a quick swat on the butt and pointing her in the direction of the door. “Go knock ‘em dead, babe.”

Toni absolutely kills it, of course, and Cheryl offers her a place on the Vixens right on the spot.

A few of the other girls are obviously wary of having a Serpent on their squad with them, but Toni’s used to the looks and whispers, and she knows none of them are brave (or dumb) enough to actually say anything to her face about it - most likely out of fear of Cheryl, not the gang member - so she doesn’t really care.

They go to Pop’s to celebrate, as promised, and the cheerleading captain orders her newest squad member the biggest chocolate milkshake Pop can make.

“So, tell me, how does it feel to officially be a member of the River Vixens?” Cheryl inquires from across from her, sipping her own shake.

Toni arches an eyebrow and laughs at just how genuinely curious the other girl sounds. “I think you’d know better than me.”

Cheryl rolls her eyes and whines, “You know what I mean, T.”

“I mean, it’s been like an hour, but so far, it’s pretty good,” she shrugs, smiling, and lifts her glass a little. “It’s got some perks.” That seems to be a good enough answer for Cheryl, who beams back at her. “It’s kinda crazy, though. I wasn’t involved in anything at Southside High - other than fights with the Ghoulies - and I’m at Riverdale High for a few months and I’m a cheerleader and on the newspaper staff.”

Of course, there wasn’t exactly a whole lot of extracurriculars to do at Southside High to begin with, but Toni doubts she would have been all that interested in joining even if there were, so.

She’d really only volunteered to help Jughead get the Red & Black off the ground again so she could try to get him closer to the Serpents, and well, look how that turned out.

The Southside really only had one kind of after-school activity, and it didn’t involve pom-poms.

“Almost sounds as if you’re saying I’m a positive influence on you,” Cheryl replies cheekily.

There’s also that.

As good as these things will look on her college apps, and as happy as that makes her mother, Toni can’t pretend that’s been her main motivation.

That’s been Cheryl, but what else is new?

Not that she plans on telling her that though, even if she’s comfortable enough to joke about it.

“I don’t know if I was saying that, but if it makes you feel better,” Toni plays it off, smirking around her straw at the faux indignant look Cheryl gives her. “Speaking of the paper,” she continues after a moment, swallowing the milkshake and her nerves, as she broaches a topic she’s worried might be taken the wrong way. “Betty gave me my first assignment yesterday and I was wondering if you wanted to tag along.”

Cheryl looks intrigued, more interested in the actual assignment than the fact that Toni hasn’t mentioned it until now. “As fond as I am of your company, I do feel it wise I get a bit more info before I commit to accompanying you.”

It’s just a stupid carnival, just like the ones her mother would always take them to as kids, but Toni can’t stop thinking it sounds romantic all of a sudden.

She blames Love, Simon.

“The carnival they’re putting up outside Mal-Mart,” she answers, trying to sound casual and probably failing. “Betty wants me to go get some pics for an article, and I figured I’d go on Friday.” Which, she suddenly realizes, is a date night for most teens, which doesn’t exactly help her cause of trying not to sound like she’s asking Cheryl out, but it’s too late to take it back now. “So, you in?”

Cheryl looks like her thoughts are running along the same lines as Toni’s worries, and the pink haired girl holds her breath and hopes she hasn’t just fucked up this delicate new thing already by applying pressure to something that can’t sustain it.

But then, just when she’s convinced herself she has, red painted lips curl up and the knot in Toni’s stomach loosens.

“Sounds like a pleasant enough evening,” the girl finally decides, looking and sounding like she’s trying to come off extra casual herself. “It’s a date.”

And then Toni almost chokes on her milkshake.

It’s not a date.

There’s_ no way_ it’s a date.

It’s just a saying and that’s how Cheryl meant it; that girl side steps any opportunity to discuss what’s going on between them, let alone put a label on it.

So it’s absolutely, positively, _not_ a date.

That’s what Toni tells herself, over and over again, for the rest of the week, until she believes it.

But when Friday night comes, and Cheryl picks her up in her red Impala and they make their way into the carnival together, walking so closely that their hands brush with every step they take, it certainly feels like one.

They spend some time wandering around a bit, so Toni can get some shots of all the things Betty asked for - kids having fun, families spending time together, teenagers hanging out - and it all brings back a lot of memories.

All the lights and sounds, every ride and game is the same as it’s been for years.

“Remember that time I won you that giant red teddy bear?” Toni asks as they walk through the crowd, her eyes taking in the row of games set up, and all the prizes that will probably go unwon by the end of the night.

“How ever could I forget?” Cheryl replies dramatically, voice all dreamy as she picks at the pink cotton candy in her hand. “Dearest Henry was once a permanent fixture in my room and has recently come back out of hibernation; I even made sure he survived the fire at Thornhill.”

A smile curls at Toni’s lips at the information and the thought, though the realization that she actually has no idea what her best friend’s bedroom looks like is a bit of a downer; she may not have spent a lot of time there growing up, but she had at least been there a few times.

(Sometimes it’s easy to forget that even now, with how close they’ve grown, that though she knows her better than anyone else could, there’s still so much she doesn’t know about the girl she used to know everything about; that it’s not just the big things.

But they’re at a damn carnival, and now is not the time to dwell on that, so.)

“Really?” she questions, smile not faltering as she brings her eyes over to the girl beside her.

Cheryl shrugs like it’s not a big deal, tilting her cotton candy towards Toni to offer her some. “You spent an hour and three week’s worth of your allowance trying to win him for me, I couldn’t just let all that hard work go to waste.”

As sweet as the words sound, the teasing tone she says them in has Toni wanting to metaphorically puff out her chest.

“Hey, in my defense, everyone knows carnival games are rigged as hell to scam you into spending more money,” the gang member protests, ripping off a patch of fluffy candy a little rougher than she needs to.

A red smile slants into a smirk. “A trap you fell head first into.”

“I was twelve!” Toni contends petulantly, Cheryl’s light laughter making her pout. “You really wanted that bear, and I was trying to impress you.”

“Aw, T.T., how sweet,” the redhead sighs, her tone suggesting genuine swooning, but still with a hint of ribbing. But before Toni can respond, Cheryl’s wrapping a hand around her wrist and stopping her in front of one of the games. “It may be a few years belated, but I’d like to see if I can return the favor.”

Immediately catching her drift, Toni drops her prideful act and shakes her head. “Cher, you don’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense,” Cheryl promptly cuts her off, before dragging her towards a booth. “You’re not the only one with someone to impress.”

Toni’s heart flips and she bites back a scoff, sure there’s no possible way for Cheryl to get any higher in her eyes than the pedestal she’s already had her on for years.

She ends up being wrong, of course, because it turns out that on top of everything else, Cheryl Blossom is also an excellent shot.

(Apparently, the only thing the girl can’t do is talk about the elephant in the room.)

The redhead wins Toni a brown teddy bear on her first try, knocking down all five of her targets with the Nerf gun provided for her.

“I started practicing archery in recent years,” is Cheryl’s causal explanation when Toni expresses her awe.

“Of course you have,” the shorter girl laughs with a shake of her head, wondering how this girl always manages to surprise her. She hugs her new bear to her chest as they walk away from the booth, the smile currently stretching her lips feeling like it could be permanent. “Well, thank you for giving me something to cuddle at night.”

Cheryl smiles back at her, as sweet as the cotton candy that’s back in her hands. “While I’m sure it won’t make up for the absence of yours truly, I hope it’s the next best thing,” she jests, though Toni certainly wouldn’t argue with that

Unlike when they were kids, Cheryl has no interest in going on any of the rides, but after walking around for another half hour, Toni finally convinces her to at least come on the ferris wheel with her.

And even then, it’s only after she promises not to be a little shit and rock the cart or do anything else to freak her out.

(Toni would have been offended at the implication, if that wasn’t totally something she would’ve done to one of the guys.)

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Cheryl grumbles as they’re locked into their cart.

“First the roof, now a ferris wheel,” Toni teases, trying to distract her. “I’m gonna have you looking over the bluffs at Sweetwater in no time.”

Cheryl scoffs, and grips the bar in front of her as the ride jolts to life and they slowly start climbing. “Best of luck in that venture,” she says, trying to keep the waver out of her voice. “There are some things even you and your pout cannot convince me of.”

Toni fights a smile, knowing she can’t say the same.

“Bet Sweet Pea’s could get you to do it,” the Serpent jokingly replies, tucking her newly won bear onto Cheryl’s lap, mostly to give the girl comfort, but also to free up her hands for her camera.

“Only so I could push him off once we reached the top,” the other girl retorts, eyes still a bit wild, but relaxing enough to remove one hand from the railing to clutch the stuffed bear tightly.

Toni shakes her head in amusement as she carefully aims her camera and starts snapping some aerial shots that will surely impress Betty and her ponytail. “I’d tell him you said that, but he’d probably just laugh.”

Cheryl gets a hint of a smile and loosens her grip even more, until she finally lets go and leans against the sturdy back of the cart stiffly.

“Well, at least someone enjoys my humor.”

Toni thinks it’s more that he’s just happy to have finally found someone as bitchy as he is, but she keeps that thought to herself.

Instead, she waits until she gets the perfect shot of a little girl excitedly retelling her ride to her father, before she turns back to Cheryl and bats her eyes. “You know I enjoy everything about you, Blossom.”

“And I you,” the redhead agrees, even though her eyes roll as she says it. “Except your penchant for peer pressuring me into dangerous situations such as these.”

Toni’s smile widens at Cheryl’s on brand dramatics. “Oh, come on,” she urges lightly, letting her camera hang from her neck as she cautiously shifts in her seat to face the other girl and gently shake her arm. “Look how pretty everything looks from up here.”

She means the carnival and all of its flashing, colored lights below them, but also the entire town all around them, too.

They’re almost at the top now, just a couple stops away, and they can see all of Riverdale. It somehow looks so big, but so small at the same time; the north and the south sides looking the same from all the way up there.

“It does look lovely,” Cheryl sounds reluctant to admit as she warily takes in the view, but the way the light’s shining in her eyes tells Toni she means it.

The pink haired girl has to stop herself from saying something overly cheesy in response - because really, the view of Cheryl? Way better - but can’t help herself entirely.

She shuffles a bit closer and points out, “And the best part is, nobody can see us up here.”

It’s more just flirting than an actual suggestion, but Cheryl’s leaning over to kiss her just as they reach the top, and Toni suddenly feels like she’s in every rom-com she’s ever seen, in the best way possible.

Time stands still, or maybe it’s just the cart, and Toni doesn’t register anything but Cheryl’s cotton candy flavored lips moving against hers until she hears the tell-tale sounds of a camera.

“You’re not the only one that can take pictures, T.T.,” Cheryl tells her cheekily as she pulls her phone back towards herself.

There’s a soft smile playing on her lips as she looks down at the picture of them kissing, and Toni doesn’t have to see it to know it’s gotta be better than any of the ones she’s taken tonight herself.

(What she wouldn’t give to print_ that_ in the school newspaper, so everyone would know.)

Toni’s high from the ferris wheel doesn’t stop when they get down.

That grin stays on her face, and the butterflies stay in her belly as they walk around, until their little romantic bubble bursts and reality comes seeping in through the cracks.

Or, until they spot Archie and Josie sharing a funnel cake by the Gravitron and everyone starts pretending.

“Hey, ladies,” Josie’s quick to greet them, with a casual enthusiasm that’s clearly put on. “I didn’t know you guys were coming tonight. You should’ve said something, we could’ve all come together.”

Toni swallows a scoff and glances at Cheryl to see if she’s buying this.

The redhead keeps her face almost unreadable, but Toni knows her well enough to see through the cracks; Cheryl doesn’t buy it, either.

But, Toni also knows that the other girl isn’t exactly in the position to be calling her friend out, and is no doubt terrified Josie knows that, too.

So she just puts on a fake smile and mirrors Josie’s faux casual attitude back at her. “Toni’s here on official Blue & Gold business for my cousin, and was sweet enough to invite me along,” Cheryl explains, and while it’s technically the truth, it doesn’t feel like all of it. “It’s a shame you two didn’t tell us you’d be attending, either.”

She widens her eyes a bit, as if challenging Josie to try anything cute, and Toni shares a look with Archie, commiserating their shared awkwardness.

It feels obvious that everyone there knows what’s really going on - well, maybe not Archie, bless his soul - but nobody’s going to actually say it, for one reason or another.

But that doesn’t mean Toni can’t push it a little, if just to move it along. “You guys wanna pose for a picture for the paper?”

“No, I think we’re good,” Josie insists, giving Toni a tight smile before she tugs at the sleeve of Archie’s shirt. “You girls enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You too,” the Serpent replies when Cheryl doesn’t say anything herself, and then they’re gone, disappearing into a crowd of people. “So, we can’t mention that to Sweet Pea, because they were definitely on a date, right?” she asks the other girl lightly once they’re alone, but Cheryl doesn’t answer her.

She doesn’t talk much at all for the rest of the night, actually, and Toni tries to pretend she doesn’t know why.

*

Something between them shifts after that night, and not in the direction Toni had been expecting.

Because for all her internal monologuing about how that _absolutely was not a date_, she can admit now that she had been hoping it was.

Call her naive, but Toni really thought that maybe that night was Cheryl’s first step.

Towards what, she wasn’t quite sure, but she didn’t think they could stay still after that, and she certainly didn’t think she’d end up moving backwards.

It’s admittedly not as big of a backslide as it could be, considering how paranoid Cheryl is that Josie and Archie now know too much, but it’s just enough for Toni to get a healthy dose of reality about what’s going on between them.

And more importantly, what _isn’t_. 

It’s not like Toni was delusional, thinking they were a couple and they were about to run for prom queens together or anything like that, but she thought maybe that’s where they were heading, eventually.

(She’d hoped.)

But in her defense, she’d been skeptical and realistic about this whole thing that first morning, before Cheryl surprised her and threw her for a loop with all that kissing and touching and flirting.

Toni had accepted that they might never talk about their past, but she foolishly thought their future might be different, eventually.

One day, Toni will stop expecting anything from Cheryl.

(That girl really is always surprising her, for better or worse.)

And she does, once again, after almost a week of not touching in public and barely talking in private.

Cheryl offers to give her a ride home after Vixens practice on Wednesday, after all but ignoring her on Tuesday, and Toni is so relieved that she almost agrees, despite the fact that her bike is sitting just a few spots away from the redhead’s convertible.

“I would, but…” she answers dejectedly, craning her neck in the direction of her bike, and her face falls when Cheryl’s does.

“Right, of course,” the other girl mumbles, shaking her head and pulling on the straps of her little red backpack. Toni wants to apologize or take her answer back, but instead she just waits for Cheryl to try again. “Would you still accompany me to my car? I have something I would like to give you.”

Toni’s a little surprised by the words, moreso by Cheryl’s obvious nerves than the request itself, but she doesn’t hesitate to agree. “Uh, yeah, sure, of course.”

School has been over for almost two hours by now, and most of the other Vixens left the second Cheryl dismissed them, so they’re the only ones around.

They walk over in silence, that slightly awkward vibe that’s been there since Friday still lingering between them, and Toni’s curiosity only grows as she watches the other girl pop her trunk and pull out… a book.

“I don’t recall if I’ve previously mentioned it,” Cheryl begins, clutching the book to her chest and struggling to meet Toni’s eyes. “But in addition to archery, I’ve taken to drawing in recent years. I’m by no means an artist, but it’s provided an outlet of sorts for me since…” She catches herself and shakes her head, red nails digging into leather binding. “Well, I’m sure you can venture a guess.”

Toni can venture lots of guesses, actually, but she’s not about to _venture_ any of them out loud.

Instead, she just nods and offers Cheryl a smile that she hopes calms her nerves. “Sounds kinda like me and photography.”

“Yes,” the taller girl breathes out, relaxing a bit. She returns Toni’s smile with a tentative one of her own. “I imagine it’s something like that.” Turning the book around in her hands, Cheryl starts flipping through the pages idly. “I’ve never shown any of my pieces to anyone before.”

“Cher,” Toni starts to protest, knowing where this is going.

But Cheryl holds up a hand to silence her, giving her a pleading look that’s asking Toni not to give her an out. “I want to show you something I’ve been working on,” she forces out in a shaky voice, finding the page of her book that she’s looking for. “I’d like to _give_ it to you, actually. If you like it, of course.”

“I’m sure it’s amazing,” the pink haired girl assures her, resisting the urge to reach out to her, and she means it completely.

Cheryl Blossom can do anything, after all.

(Except, well…)

Taking a deep breath, and one last look at the page, Cheryl turns the book around and offers it to Toni like an olive branch.

“I’m so sorry, for how I’ve treated you this past week,” she says softly, and while Toni does take the book in her hands, she keeps her eyes on Cheryl’s. “I’ve been distant and closed off, and I realize that’s not necessarily exclusive to just this week. I wish more than anything that I could explain to you why, but for once, the words escape me.”

“It’s okay, Cheryl,” Toni tells her, even though it’s not. But Cheryl just looks so upset and so small right now, she’ll say anything to make her feel better.

The redhead shakes her head. “It’s not,” she knows, pulling a lip between her teeth as her watery brown eyes find Toni’s. “I can talk endlessly about so many things, but my feelings are not one of them; it’s part of why I took up drawing, as a means to express even a shred of what I feel.” Swallowing, Cheryl nods towards the book in Toni’s hands. “I can’t, I can’t tell you everything that’s been going on in my head since our d-date, but I _can_ show you.”

Picking up on her cue, Toni inhales a deep breath and prepares to get the glimpse inside Cheryl’s head that she’s been dying for.

And what she sees is _beautiful_.

It’s a sketch of their kiss on the ferris wheel, so detailed and well done that it must have been drawn from the picture that Cheryl took, not just the memory.

“Wow,” Toni says breathlessly, tracing the outline of their heads delicately, not wanting to smudge or ruin the drawing at all. It takes all of her will power to tear her eyes away from it long enough to look up at Cheryl. “This is amazing, babe. You’re so fucking talented.”

“Thank you,” Cheryl whispers, cheeks tinting a bit pink and making it clear Toni really is the first person that’s ever seen her work, let alone complimented her on it. “But I didn’t show you that for a commendation. I just, I suppose I just wanted you to know that despite what my actions may have led you to believe, you’re all I’ve thought about.”

Toni’s chest warms and flutter, somehow filling with even more affection for the girl in front of her than it usually holds.

(She didn’t think that was even possible.)

It’s not the answers Toni so desperately craves, not even close, but it’s _something_ \- it’s more than she’s gotten before.

It’s a step in the right direction, and just enough for Toni to cling to, to hope that one day, Cheryl will cover the rest of the distance and catch up with her; it’s just gonna take some time.

And considering Toni’s already loved Cheryl pretty much all her life, what’s the rest of it?

“You’re all I’ve thought about, too,” she tells her best friend (hopefully, someday, girlfriend) with a smile, taking one last look at the picture before she pulls her into a tight hug, placing the book on the trunk of the car behind her, so she can hold Cheryl with both arms.

“I’m sorry,” the taller girl apologizes again, choking the words out, but making no vows not to do it again.

“It’s okay,” Toni promises, and doesn’t let her go.

She eventually returns back to the Southside with a new prized possession and a spring in her step.

Things aren’t suddenly perfect with Cheryl now, but they’re a lot better than they were when she left here this morning, and at least they’re heading in the right direction again, so.

She’s happy.

Toni’s not sure what to do with her new favorite picture, though.

It’s not like she can hang it up on her wall with the others like she wants to - who knows what her piece of shit uncle does in here when he locks her out, she can’t risk him going into her room and seeing it displayed like that.

For now, she just sets it on the coffee table with her homework, so she can look at it and feel that _feeling_, for the rest of the night.

Despite the optimism and tiny brown teddy bear she went to sleep with, a part of Toni goes to school the next morning expecting things to still be as they were.

Because yes, Cheryl put herself out there and a picture is worth a thousand words or whatever, but sometimes a few actual words are worth even more than that.

But any lingering doubts Toni has are quickly sated when she spots Cheryl waiting for her at her locker, with an extra cup of coffee in her hand, and a soft smile on her full, kissable lips.

Cheryl walks her to homeroom and sits beside her, and when lunch comes around, she suggests they eat it alone and outside, after Sweet Pea and Fangs informs them they’re ditching.

The rest of the day continues to feel normal again - for _them_, anyways - so when Cheryl declines Toni’s invite to come over after school because she’s decided to join (see, highjack) the prom committee, the pink haired girl doesn’t take it personally.

It ends up working out for the best anyways, since Hog Eye texts her twenty minutes after she walks through her trailer door, asking if she can switch her late shift for an earlier one, because his afternoon bartender bailed.

So, she leaves after just getting her homework out, and when she gets to the Whyte Wyrm, she finds Fangs and Sweet Pea are already there.

They’re busy with some kind of pool tournament though - a worthy cause to ditch school if she’s ever seen one - and the bar is a lot less busy in the afternoons, so Toni still ends up spending most of it talking to Cheryl.

She spends a good hour hearing about the final possible - and, in Cheryl’s not so humble opinion,_ awful_ \- prom themes the other members of the committee have settled on, until the other girl’s meeting is over and the conversation shifts to everything else.

It’s a nice relief to have their easy and comfortable flow back after a few days of stilted messages, with hours between replies.

Which wasn’t as bad as the two years of silence she already suffered, but not by much.

(She just got Cheryl back, as much of her as she ever had, and she can’t go back now.)

Toni’s in the middle of telling Cheryl about the time she dropped a tray of beer pitchers during her first shift at the bar, when Sweet Pea and Fangs finally make their way over to her after getting eliminated from their game.

“What’s up, losers?” she asks with a grin, her eyes moving between her screen and her friends as she finishes typing a message.

Apparently wanting to pretend they didn’t just waste an afternoon - and probably a decent amount of cash - the boys ignore her dig and move right into asking her a favor.

“Did you take notes in History today?” Fangs wonders.

“And Bio?” his taller companion tacks on, batting his eyes at her.

“Why can’t you pester Jones?” she asks, rolling her eyes, even though she doesn’t really mind that much; she’s used to being the smartest and most put together of the bunch.

Fangs shrugs. “Your writing is easier to read.”

“And we didn’t feel like a lecture,” Sweet Pea butts in again, tossing back a few peanuts.

Well, Toni can’t blame them there.

“Ugh, fine,” she huffs, grabbing her keys from the pocket of her Serpents jacket and tossing them in the boys’ direction; Sweet Pea swiftly catches them. “You can stay and hang if you want, I only have another hour and a half left here,” she offers without thinking about it.

They’ve both opened up their homes to her enough that Toni’s always happy to be able to return the favor in any way that she can - even if that’s just giving them a place to chill and pig out.

“Sweet,” Fangs grins, no doubt already thinking of what he’s gonna eat when they raid her fridge.

Somehow, even after continuing to text Cheryl for the rest of her shift, it isn’t until Toni is just outside of her trailer that she realizes her shortsightedness.

“_Fuck_,” she mumbles under her breath, right before she takes the steps two at a time and rushes through her front door, as if those few seconds she saves are going to make a difference when her friends have been there for hours now.

The boys are just lounging in the living room and watching television when she gets inside, a couple beer bottles and open bags of chips on the coffee table, textbooks and papers spread out underneath it all.

And all it takes is one knowing look from Sweet Pea, smirk curling up his lips at the sight of her, for Toni to know they saw the picture.

That, and she sees it laying on the kitchen table, as if put there to be kept safe from crumbs and other spills, and _fuck_.

They know.

“If it makes you feel any better, Tiny,” Sweet Pea starts, pulling Toni’s focus away from Cheryl’s sketch and towards him. “We had kinda already figured it out.”

“Yeah, Red’s lipstick gets _everywhere_,” Fangs adds with a laugh, and honestly, yeah.

It actually does kinda make her feel a bit better.

Toni spends the next two hours telling the boys almost every detail of her relationship with Cheryl - past, present and uncertain future.

She’s not sure if that’s the right thing to do - morally, she means - but the cat was pretty much already out of the bag, and she’s been needing someone to talk to about this all for literally years, so forgive her.

Hopefully Cheryl will understand.

“Wow,” is all Fangs can say once she’s done telling her tale.

Toni breathes out a laugh, still having trouble believing it all herself sometimes. “I know.”

“No wonder you never really gave anyone that tried to get with you a chance,” Sweet Pea comments as he sits up in the worn out chair that Jake refuses to get rid of. “You were pining.”

“I wasn’t pining,” Toni gets defensive.

Fangs and Sweet Pea share a look. “You were definitely pining.”

“Okay, so I was pining,” Toni relents easily enough, knowing she has no leg to stand on after giving them all the ammo they need. “But can you blame me?”

“Hey, I’m the last person to judge you for pathetically mooning over a girl that doesn’t want you anymore-” Sweet Pea starts.

“Gee, thanks,” she scoffs sarcastically, suddenly wishing she hadn’t kept the little detail of Archie’s presence at the carnival to herself.

“-_But I’m just sayin’_,” he continues pointedly, sending Toni a look that says he’s being serious now. “That’s a lot of shit to look past.”

“I know, okay?” Toni sighs. “_Believe me_, I know.” There aren’t many things she knows more about than just how much she’s had to ignore to have her best friend (not even girlfriend) back. “But it’s _Cheryl_.”

It always comes back to that.

“I get it, Tiny,” Fangs pipes in from the couch, sending her a smile. “I think it’s romantic.”

Sweet Pea snorts, throwing a chip at him. “You would.”

“And for what it’s worth, I totally agree,” he continues, taking the chip from where it landed on his chest and shoving it into his mouth, but otherwise completely ignoring the other boy. “There’s gotta be a reason she did what she did.”

“Thank you, _Fangs_,” Toni emphasizes and smiles, showing her friend that she can be pointed to.

The taller boy huffs at the obvious shade. “I didn’t say I don’t think there’s more to the story,” he tries to explain, softening his tone a little so Toni will be more receptive to his words. “I just don’t get how you can fall back into it with her without knowing what that is.”

“I-I, I don’t-” Toni struggles to start, so Sweet Pea carries on.

“I mean, you said things are basically back to how they were with you guys in Junior High,” he recaps. “So aren’t you worried that she could just cut and run at anytime again?”

Toni’s heart lurches at the very thought, so she doesn’t even want to entertain it. “She wouldn’t,” she declares, trying to sound more confident than she is.

Sweet Pea gives her a look that tells her he sees right through her, but empathizes, too.

“Look, I get that you love Red, and I don’t doubt she loves you, too,” he goes on, leaning forward in his chair to get a bit closer to her. “I’m not saying whatever happened was her fault or her choice or whatever, I’m sure she had her reasons.” He pauses just long enough to give her time to guess where this is landing. “But if you don’t know what they are, or why she totally bailed on you last time, then how can you be so sure it won’t happen again?”

The silence that follows is heavy, and it feels like it’s crushing Toni’s chest.

But it’s Fangs that speaks first; “I don’t say this often,” he reluctantly voices. “But the man’s got a point.”

Sweet Pea offers her a lopsided smile, looking more like a frown than the smug look she was half expecting.

“All I’m saying is that if I were you, I’d _have_ to know,” he explains simply, and shrugs.

And Toni’s not sure how she can argue with that.

She thinks about it for the rest of the night.

The thing is, Toni’s not an idiot; it’s not like she’s never thought about it before.

It’s just that she’s never allowed herself to think about it long enough that it might change her mind.

Toni’s always wanted Cheryl back more than she’s ever wanted answers, so if having the former meant going without the latter, she was okay with that.

Or, she tried to be, at least.

Because it’s not like Toni has ever really been able to completely silence those thoughts, either.

They’re quieter, or at least easier to ignore, when she’s with Cheryl, but those moments when she’s not?

Try as she might, Toni hasn’t figured out how to stop them from creeping in, especially at night.

What changed that summer? Why did Cheryl dump her? And why did she do it so cruelly?

Did someone get in her head? Did she freak out about her sexuality? Did her mother find out?

Or was it really because Toni moved?

Was Cheryl really as shallow and stuck up as the rest of the Northsiders? Could she have really let something like Toni’s address and how much money her mother made change how she felt about her?

Toni’s been asking herself the same questions for over two years now, and though she’s always _wanted_ the answers, she’s not sure she ever felt like she _needed_ them.

But that was easier before, when all she_ needed_ was Cheryl back, but now that she’s got her, maybe Sweet Pea’s right.

Maybe she needs those answers so she doesn’t constantly live in fear of losing her again.

Because Toni can live with the secrecy, and she can live with the undefined terms and the lack of labels, but now she’s not sure she can live without ever knowing the truth.

That doesn’t mean she’s not gonna try, though.

Toni doesn’t sleep well that night, which isn’t surprising, but she has high hopes the next night, with her mother asleep on the couch and Cheryl laying on the mattress beside her, brown teddy clutched to her chest.

But before they even try to sleep, they have a lot to talk about.

Things are mostly back to normal with them, but they haven’t really had the chance, or privacy, to talk to each other about anything important since they cleared the air.

And _oh_, do they have a lot to talk about, and not just the stuff Toni already knows they won’t.

“Have you talked to Josie this week?” she asks cautiously, when the right moment - or just _a_ moment - presents itself.

Cheryl stiffens in her arms, and for a second, Toni worries she’s just ruined what they so recently repaired.

But soon enough, Cheryl relaxes again, and Toni feels her nod against her chest.

“We spoke on Monday,” the other girl answers, an attempt at casual that Cheryl’s never quite been able to believably achieve.

“And?” she prompts, leaving it open and hoping the redhead might give her something without her having to ask.

Of course she doesn’t, though. “She did admit that she and Archie were on a date.”

Toni bites back a snort of amusement because, yeah, that much was obvious and not exactly the answer she was hoping for - in more ways than one.

“Sucks for Sweets,” she offers, staring at the ceiling and stroking Cheryl’s arm absentmindedly.

“Indeed it does,” Cheryl agrees. “But we can’t tell him just yet. Josie asked me to keep it between us, until they’re ready to share with everyone else. Things are still delicate with Veronica and, of course, Sweet Pea.”

She doesn’t like hiding things from her friends and she knows her fellow Serpent will be pissed when he finds out she knew, but someone else’s secret relationship isn’t really high up on her list of concerns at the moment.

It doesn’t escape her attention that, with this conversation, they’ve now officially discussed the status and secrecy of Josie and Archie’s relationship more than they have their own.

But at least it creates an opening for Toni to bring up something she’s been dreading.

(No, not that thing. Or that other thing, either.)

“Did Josie ask about _our_ date?” she spits out before the window closes, or she loses her courage.

The words feel foreign and daring on her tongue, to say out loud, but Cheryl’s called it that twice now, so whatever; Toni’s feeling brave.

(But not brave enough.)

She expects Cheryl to freeze against her again, but instead, she pulls up and away, twisting her body to stare down at the Serpent like what she said was crazy.

“Of course not,” she answers quickly, with widening eyes, and okay, _ouch_. “She had no idea,” Cheryl insists, sounding like she’s trying to assure herself more than anything. She’s obviously not as over her paranoia from the scene at the carnival as she tried to seem that day in the parking lot. “Why? Has she said anything to you about that night?”

Toni shakes her head, swallowing nervously, and tugs Cheryl back down against her.

“She hasn’t, I got no reason to think she knows anything,” she assures the other girl, forcing a smile she hopes looks genuine onto her face when the redhead reluctantly lays back down on her chest. Cheryl’s looking at her with big brown eyes, a hint of panic in them, and Toni hates to make it worse, but she can’t not tell her; she deserves to know. “Sweet Pea and Fangs might, though.”

Those big brown eyes struggle between widening and narrowing, but Cheryl’s voice is scarily steady when she says, “They _might _know?”

Toni shuts her eyes and sighs. “They know.”

“What?!” Cheryl gasps, immediately pushing herself up into a seating position. “_Toni!_” she scolds her, voice close to hysterics. “How long have they known?”

“I honestly don’t know,” she answers truthfully and helplessly, shrugging apologetically for good measure. “They saw the picture you drew last night, that’s when_ I_ found out, but they said they already knew.”

Toni decides not to mention the lipstick or that it was technically Cheryl’s own fault - her head already looks like it’s ready to explode.

Which again, not exactly helping her paranoia.

Cheryl whimpers and shakes her head, as if willing it not to be true. “I can’t believe this,” she all but cries. “We were_ so_ careful.”

Well…

“Hey, relax, okay,” Toni tries to calm her, sitting up herself and reaching for her best friend’s hand. “It’s just Sweets and Fangs, they won’t tell anyone.”

Cheryl looks more than a little dubious, too upset to think clearly or remember just who they’re talking about. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because snitches get stitches,” the pink haired girl jokes, frowning when the line of Cheryl’s lips doesn’t turn up. She sighs, tugging on the other girl’s hand. “Seriously, babe, chill,” she begs, pulling her close and guiding them back down onto the mattress together. “I promise it’s okay that they know, they’re cool, you know that; it’s not the end of the world.”

“Quite easy for you to say,” Cheryl mumbles under her breath, but Toni doesn’t miss it, or how stiff she is against her.

She does, however, miss when she didn’t have Sweet Pea’s words running through her head on a loop.

_If you don’t know why she totally bailed on you last time, then how can you be so sure it won’t happen again?_

So much for sleeping tonight.

Cheryl doesn’t pull away like last time, but Toni feels like it’s just a matter of time.

Because every topic feels like a potential trigger or landmine that she has to sidestep, and it’s exhausting.

There’s so many things Toni wants to talk about, but so many things she knows she can’t, and even though Cheryl seems to be doing an excellent job ignoring those things, just as she always does, Toni’s finding it harder to do so by the day.

She thought she could do this - she’s been doing it for months, really - but maybe she can’t.

It’s not the being with Cheryl in secret that she can’t do, Toni gets that and again, she can live with it - Penelope is evil and hates her and she can’t imagine what that woman would do if she found out they were together - but Cheryl keeping secrets from _her_ is something else entirely.

Because that’s what it feels like.

A secret.

And with every passing day, maybe even a lie, too.

Toni’s not sure how much longer she can live with _that_.

(Not much longer, as it turns out.)

*

Toni’s been so wrapped up with everything Cheryl for the past couple weeks, that when Betty asks her to stop by the Blue & Gold office before going to lunch later that week, her first assumption is that Betty’s figured out that she and her cousin are together, not that her kinda-boss has an assignment for her.

But in her defense, that’s not actually why Betty wants to talk to her, anyways.

What the blonde actually wants to talk about is F.P. Jones.

“I know we weren’t very sensitive of Cheryl’s feelings the last time the subject was brought up,” Betty acknowledges, cringing a little at the memory, even though that’s hardly the one she should be ashamed of.

And even though she likes the girl, Toni can’t stop herself from scoffing and pointing that out. “Or when you blackmailed her with the tape of her brother’s murder so she’d testify on the old man’s behalf.”

The tension that follows is immediate and thick, but only one of the girls squirms under the weight of it.

_Good._

“Cheryl told you about that?” the blonde asks hesitantly, face scrunched and braced for what she assumes is coming.

But the Serpent keeps her face hard and unreadable, torturing Betty a bit. “Yeah, she did.”

“Toni...”

“Look, don’t bother, okay?” Toni cuts her off, crossing her legs and her arms. “Nothing you say is gonna make me think what you did was any less shitty, and I’m certainly not the person you need to apologize to, anyways.” She sighs, feeling a little lighter with the release of some pent up resentment, even if it’s old and not what’s been keeping her up at night. “I just thought _someone_ should finally call you out on that.”

Betty gulps and looks even more ashamed, but to her credit, she doesn’t look away. “Noted,” is all she says, but the look on her face tells Toni she means it.

And that’s enough, she supposes; not like Betty can do much else at this point.

“Well, come on then,” the pink haired girl replies, relaxing in her seat so that the other girl will do the same. “I wasn’t trying to make this all awkward. What did you wanna tell me?”

“Right,” Betty blinks, letting out a breath as she shifts gears in her head. She walks out from behind her desk to come sit on the edge of it, closer to Toni. “Uh, well, given what happened last time the topic was broached, I thought I’d tell you privately, so you could break it to Cheryl.”

“He’s getting out,” Toni guesses plainly, not even posing it as a question.

Betty nods. “On Friday.”

It’s Wednesday.

“Oh,” Toni breathes out, something uneasy settling in her gut at the thought.

Her feelings on the man and his part in Jason’s death are complicated and confusing, and so like most things, Toni’s been trying to avoid thinking about it too much, but now it’s time to face the inevitable. Yet she knows, whatever she's feeling isn't going to be even half of what Cheryl will be.

“Yeah, so I don’t know how you want to handle that, but I trust you’ll do better than any of us,” Betty offers with a sympathetic half smile, clearly not knowing what else to say. And honestly, Toni doesn’t either. But luckily, the other girl has something else lined up. “And actually, there was something else I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Intrigued, but cautious, Toni regards the girl in front of her with a raised eyebrow. “About F.P.?”

“No,” the blonde shakes her head, waiting a beat to continue. “About your mom.”

“_My_ mom?” Toni repeats in surprise - that’s just about the last thing she expected to hear.

Betty nods. “And mine, actually,” she adds, rubbing her palms nervously on her jean-clad thighs. “So, you know how I was looking for my brother?” Now it’s Toni’s turn to nod. “Well, we found him last week.”

“Wow, congrats,” she replies, not sure how else to respond or what this has to do with her mother yet.

If Betty’s about to tell her that they’re somehow related, and she’s also distantly related to Cheryl, she swears to God…

“Yeah, well, my mom told me some more stuff about it after,” Betty continues, not easing Toni’s mind. “Apparently, Penelope Blossom knew all about it; the pregnancy, the father - who, it turns out, is _not_ my dad, being sent away, putting him up for adoption, all of it.” A pause, then, “And she blackmailed my mother with the information so she’d fire yours.”

Toni honestly doesn’t even know why she’s surprised.

Because _of course _she did.

When she gets to the cafeteria, Toni finds Cheryl sitting with Fangs and Jughead at their usual table, and the way the redhead’s face subtly lights up when she spots her across the room settles the storm brewing in her head a bit.

“T.T.,” the girl greets her warmly when she reaches the table, and smiles at her just the same. “Why for the fashionable lateness?”

“Blue & Gold business,” Toni answers swiftly as she takes her seat beside Cheryl, nodding to Jughead when he shoots her a knowing look. “Where’s Dumber?”

Fangs shrugs, too preoccupied with building his fry tower to care where his best friend is. “I think he said Josie wanted to talk to him about something.”

Jughead groans around a bite of his burger. “Ugh, that can’t be good.”

Toni shares a look with Cheryl, because _no_, it’s really not.

But she hardly has the headspace to be concerned about Sweet Pea right now, not when she has so much of her own shit to worry about.

Not when she already has his voice and his words in her head still, and has to add Betty’s to the mix, too.

Those two voices drown out the ones around her, as she completely checks out of the conversation to try to fit this newest piece of information into the puzzle she’s been trying to build for over two years without a clear picture.

And while she still doesn’t have one, not really, if Toni were a betting woman, she’d place good money on the fact that Penelope Blossom is probably at the center of it.

It’s not a theory she hasn’t considered before - she’s known that woman is evil since she was eight - but she hadn’t considered the possibility that whatever went down that summer, extended beyond just Cheryl and their relationship.

Which seems short-sighted now, considering all that changed in those couple of months, but now that Toni sees it, she’s more desperate than ever to figure it out.

Does her mother know why she lost her job? Toni did always feel like the older woman knew more than she did - more than she let on.

Does Cheryl know?

Toni thinks back to their conversation in Pickens Park that one afternoon, when they talked about F.P. and Cheryl told her what Betty had done.

_I suppose it was fair play, and somewhat poetic, a Cooper blackmailing a Blossom._

She had to have known.

But did she always know? Did Penelope know about _them_ and blackmail Cheryl into dumping Toni, too?

How is it that getting an answer just has Toni asking more questions?

And why can’t she just bring herself to ask _Cheryl_ any of them?

(She knows why.)

Lunch goes by quickly, and before Toni knows it, the warning bell is ringing, and Cheryl is nudging her out of her thoughts.

“You were somewhere else all hour,” the other girl comments as everyone is getting up to leave, and they start doing the same. “Something on your mind?”

Toni almost laughs.

Instead, she just shakes her head. “Nothing important,” she insists as she slings her bag over her shoulder. “Just tired.”

Cheryl seems to buy it, or at least accept it, as she nods and reaches out to squeeze Toni’s hand. “You need to get more sleep, T. Don’t misunderstand, you’re as beautiful as always, but you’re obviously fatigued.”

She’s not exactly wrong, considering Toni’s tossed and turned most nights this week, but she doesn’t want Cheryl to worry.

Toni doesn’t need to add anything else to her list of things to be concerned about.

“I just miss you,” she says sweetly, and quietly, trying to play it off. “I sleep better when you’re over.”

Which is actually true, really, but that doesn’t mean it’s not also a lie.

Her words seem to do the trick, though, because Cheryl’s red lips pull into a pleased grin, and she slows her steps and pulls Toni back a little, distancing themselves from the crowd filing out of the cafeteria.

“Shall I come over after school then?” the redhead suggests. “We don’t have Vixens practice today, so perhaps I could be of assistance with a small cat nap?”

And even with all of her inner turmoil, Toni can’t help but smile at Cheryl’s sweetness. “That actually sounds amazing,” she admits, though unlikely to help solve anything. “I have the darkroom booked for an hour after school, though.”

“I don’t mind watching you work,” Cheryl assures easily, just as they reach the slowly emptying hallway.

“Sounds like a plan then,” Toni agrees, coming to a stop before they part ways - she has Biology next, while Cheryl has her free period.

If they were a normal, open couple, this is where they’d kiss goodbye.

But they’re not.

And it’s small moments, just like these, that make it impossible for Toni to forget.

Mood suddenly dampened a little, they part ways with no kiss, and as Toni turns around to start heading to her next class, she catches sight of her missing friend storming away from it, and right out of the school.

Well, looks like his talk with Josie went about as well as she expected it to.

Toni didn’t really feel like going to Bio, anyways.

Sweet Pea looks two seconds away from punching the brick wall when Toni finds him outside, pacing back and forth over by the gym, and trying to get a cigarette out of its pack in his anger.

Toni’s cautious in her approach, knowing what the boy can be like when he’s this worked up, and try as she might, she can’t think of anything to say that won’t just piss him off more.

(Unlike_ some_ people, Toni knows when to crack jokes and when to keep her mouth shut.)

Luckily for her - or unluckily, depending on how this plays out - Sweet Pea must hear her approaching, because he looks up and spots her before she has to figure it out.

“She’s dating Andrews,” he spits out at her through gritted teeth, somehow sounding both incredulous and vindicated at the same time; like he can’t believe he’s been right all along. “All that bullshit about not wanting a boyfriend, about needing to be single to focus on her music, swearing there’s nothing going on between them, the _it’s not you it’s me_ crap, and she’s fucking dating Andrews!”

Even though it’s probably a mistake, Toni nods solemnly and says, “I know.”

It gives Sweet Pea pause for a beat, before he laughs humorlessly as he squints at her through the blinding sunshine. “Of course you do,” he scoffs, still slamming the pack of cigarettes against his hand in frustration. “Of course your Northside piece of ass told you.”

Toni immediately bristles at his words and his tone, quickly switching from sympathetic to defensive.

“Look, you’re pissed, and I get it,” she starts, her own tone a warning. “But you better watch your damn mouth when you’re talking about Cheryl.”

“Oh, cut the shit, Tiny,” Sweet Pea immediately sneers, not at all impressed or intimidated. He gives up on the cigarettes, crushing the small box in his large hand. “Blossom’s gonna do the same thing to you.”

It’s a low blow, and it hits Toni right where he intended it to, but she’ll be damned if she shows it.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insists sharply, trying her hardest not to make it obvious that his transparent attempt at lashing out is working.

“She’s doing it to you already!” Sweet Pea laughs again, bitter and cold. “Keeping you a secret - at a distance, not telling you how she feels, refusing to commit to anything.” He advances forward, and though his words, and the truth of them, hurt, Toni isn’t afraid of him. “You’re just her little Southside fling, fun to string along for a few weeks until she gets tired of you and throws you away like a piece of trash so she can go running to the first Northside caveman she can find.”

He’s throwing every fear and insecurity she has at her, and he knows them all so well because they’re his own, too.

Sweet Pea is projecting his hurt and pain onto her, and Toni knows it, but that doesn’t make the comments roll off her back.

She digs her nails into her palms, desperate to lash out at Sweet Pea the same way he’s doing to her, but she’s always had more self control than him.

“_Shut up_,” she hisses instead, jaw clenched and eyes stinging.

Sweet Pea, always cruel when he’s hurt or angry, sees her cracking and his face twists up in a wicked smile. “Come on, Topaz, open your eyes,” he tells her as he gets even closer, voice lower, but no less cold. “She did it to you once, you don’t think she’ll do it again?”

“That was different.”

“You don’t even know what happened before,” he reminds her tauntingly, and still, even with his hulking frame towering over her, Toni doesn’t flinch; no matter how deep his words cut. “She fucked you over then and she’s gonna fuck you over now, just like Josie; Northsiders are all the same.” He shakes his head and gives her a pitying look before he takes a step back. “You may have grown up here, but you’re Southside scum now, just like the rest of us, and Cheryl’s never gonna be with you for real. So stop being so_ fucking pathetic_ and learn from my mistake.”

With that last parting shot, Sweet Pea stalks away to go stew somewhere else, knowing she won’t follow him.

And as she watches him leave, something inside Toni snaps, or maybe breaks, and she heads back into the school.

Like most days, Cheryl’s spending her free period in the library, and as Toni makes her way through the doors and spots the redhead sitting at her usual table, it seems fitting they have this conversation here.

“Toni,” the other girl says when she sees her, surprise clear on her face, but with a pleased smile, too. “To what do I owe the pleasure? I didn’t expect to see you until last period.”

“We need to talk,” Toni tells her, short and to the point, eyes searching for some place they can go.

When they land on one of the empty group study rooms, she nods towards it and motions for Cheryl to follow.

Her hands shake as they walk across the library, but by the time she steps inside the room and the redhead closes the door behind them, she hasn’t lost her nerve.

“Toni, what’s-”

“What happened that summer?” Toni asks before Cheryl can say anything else or she can overthink her way out of it, voice steadier than the hands she curls into fists and shoves into the pockets of her jacket.

Cheryl immediately pales at the question, even though she tries to play dumb. “What ever do you mean?”

But Toni’s not having it, not today. “The summer before freshman year,” she spells out, even though she knows she doesn’t have to. “We were together for a year, you told me you loved me, and I _know _you meant it.” Of everything Toni’s ever questioned, that’s never been one of them. “Then you left for camp and you came back_ wrong_; different. _Cold_.” Oh, so cold. “I’ve been waiting for you to tell me, because I’ve been too afraid to ask, but since you’re obviously never going to and I _need_ to know… What_ happened_ that summer, Cheryl?”

“Toni…” the other girl tries, like she’s begging, with tears welling up in her wide eyes.

And the sight hurts, but not as much Sweet Pea’s words, or the way Cheryl looked at her that afternoon in the cold, hollow foyer of Thornhill Manor, so she forges on.

“I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt for over two years,” Toni reminds her, sounding like she’s pleading with her. “You smashed my heart into a million pieces with no real explanation, and I didn’t blame you, not once. The least you can do now is tell me if that was in vain; if I’m just a pathetic idiot for trusting you and setting myself up to let you do it all over again.”

Cheryl whimpers, looking desperately around the tiny room for some kind of escape. And even though the door is right there, she doesn’t make a move for it.

“I-It, Toni, you don’t under-understand...”

“Then _help_ me understand!” the pink haired girl explodes, shouting her words until she remembers where they are and she brings it down to more of a hiss. “_Tell me what happened!_” She’s close to crying now, too, but Toni’s not sure if it’s from anger, frustration, or just plain sadness. “Was it because I moved to the Southside? Did you meet someone else? Did you freak out because you were gay? Did your mom find out? Did she make you do it?” Every possible excuse she’s thought of over the years tumbles out of her mouth in a rush, frantic and pathetically, just desperate for something to land. “Why won’t you just fucking _talk_ to me?!”

“Because I can’t go back there!” Cheryl finally detonates herself, Toni’s overwhelming emotions pushing her so far back into the corner that she has no choice but to push back to defend herself.

And even though the answer doesn’t make any sense to her, it’s still finally an answer nonetheless, and it’s enough to immediately wind Toni down a notch. “What?”

“I can’t, I can’t go back there,” the redhead repeats, words and balance getting more wobbly by the second. She shakes her head and hugs herself tight, not meeting Toni’s slowly softening eyes. “I can’t talk about it, o-or think about it, I can’t… I won’t…”

Cheryl’s shaking now, obviously scared - of what, Toni doesn’t know, but she hopes to God it’s not her - and any ounce of anger she had left just dissipates.

She steps closer, but doesn’t try to touch her, as much as she wants to, and she ducks down to try to catch Cheryl’s terrified gaze.

“You can’t go back _where_, Cheryl?” Toni asks carefully, heart beating out of her chest; scared to finally get the answer she’s been waiting for, but not for the reason she’s always been.

The silence is heavy and stretches on, and just when Toni thinks maybe she won’t get it after all, the taller girl finally breaks.

“The Sisters,” she chokes out in a whisper, head still bowed and shaking.

“The Sisters?” Toni repeats, completely lost. “What sisters?”

“The Sisters of Quiet Mercy,” the redhead clarifies lowly, waiting a beat before she looks up, and when Toni sees the look in her big brown eyes, she’s not sure the answers were worth it. “That’s where I was that summer,” she explains, voice suddenly as hollow as her gaze. “Not camp. _That’s_ where she sent me.”

And even with the final piece of the puzzle in her grasp, the Serpent still can’t quite make out the full picture.

“The orphanage?” Toni asks, head tilting to the side to make sense of it.

“Conversion therapy,” Cheryl answers, sliding the piece into place.

And_ oh._

The truth lands with a heavy thud, absolutely crushing Toni beneath it.

She’s only ever felt this visceral kind sickness once before in her life, and just like that day in the Whyte Wyrm, her body, or maybe her heart, reacts before her brain can, and she has to flee the room to find somewhere to throw up.

(Cheryl won’t be there when she gets back.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure that reveal isn't exactly shocking to anyone but Toni, but it's still a big deal that it's finally out there! That last scene - or at least a version of it - is pretty much what I built this entire fic around. I think the whole plot stemmed from reading fics where Cheryl was closeted and Toni felt some type of way about having to hide their relationship. I've always understood both sides of closet drama, but with them, anytime I'd read that plot, I'd just think, "Well, considering _conversion therapy_ is a legit possibility, maybe cut her some slack" and I just couldn't stop thinking about what a plot like that might be. That, combined with my intrigue at the idea of Toni being Cheryl's Heather _and_ Toni, and this fic was born. 
> 
> Anyways, this was a really big chapter, and not just because I got to write a version of the scene I've been thinking about for like a year. Obviously a lot of stuff that's been building up went down and blew up at the end, but it's also the penultimate chapter, so I had to set up a lot of stuff that I want to wrap up in the final one, too. Writing Cheryl was also a bit tough for me, because while I knew where her head was at (basically all over the place), Toni wasn't ever supposed to fully know, so it was hard for me to make sure I was writing her in a way that was consistently inconsistent. A lot of explanations for Cheryl's behavior and things I've left in the air will come next chapter, though, don't worry.
> 
> So now that I've rambled enough, I just wanted to say thank you again to everyone that's stuck with this for so long, despite the long waits. I really hope that you liked this update and some of the bigger moments lived up to your expectations, and if they did, please, please, tell me what you thought. Gonna need that motivation to get that final chapter out! Until then, I'm on Tumblr (@cherbombshells) or Twitter (mylittlefaith).


	8. It's Time You Told Your Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Answers, answers, and more answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) So, uh, this isn't the last chapter after all. It was getting too long and needs to be split it two, so yeah. One more chapter left!  
ii) There's a small chance I might add an epilogue to get this to 10 chapters instead of 9, but we'll see.  
iii) As I'm sure you can guess, this one has a lot of dialogue, because they finally talk about shit, so hopefully you like that.  
iv) Thanks so much for all the kind feedback on the last chapter, it was a big one and knowing you guys liked it really helped.  
v) And as always, a big thank you to my friend Ikea for proof reading and listening to me ramble.

Toni has no idea how she gets home in one piece, or if she even does at all.

She’s back in her trailer, but her wholeness is questionable, considering the way her entire body aches like it’s been split in two, or run over by a train.

The phone in her hand is mockingly silent, her longest text thread open and her screen full of nothing but blue bubbles, filled with pleas and apologies that have all gone completely unanswered.

It’s all too familiar to Toni, yet totally foreign, too, like she’s traveled back in time with all the answers to all her problems, but no idea what to do with them.

Because while she knows what happened now, what _changed_, she doesn’t know how to process it.

Cheryl was in _conversion therapy_.

And as her stomach lurches again at the mere thought, and she rushes towards the bathroom to throw up a second time, she thinks maybe she misses the unknown.

Toni doesn’t feel any better after dry heaving into the toilet for fifteen minutes.

In fact, as she slumps against the side of the tiny bathtub that takes up half the room and finds Cheryl still hasn’t responded to any of her texts, she feels even worse.

She’s such a fucking idiot.

Even with an answer, she still has so many questions, but the only ones Toni can stand to wonder about right now, are the ones she has to ask _herself_.

Like why did she do that? Why did she _push_ so hard?

Well, she knows _why. _

The real question is why did she let Sweet Pea push _her_ so hard?

(She knows why she did that, too.)

Toni was so sure she wouldn’t be able to live much longer without answers, but now she’s not sure how she’s supposed to live _with_ them.

How is Toni supposed to just go on _breathing_ knowing that the girl she loves more than anything in the world went through something like _that_, and without her?

She was convinced she’d thought of all the possibilities, from bad to badder, but somehow the reality is so much worse, and she hates herself so fucking much for ever hoping that Cheryl’s reason was _good enough_ to justify what she did.

Because what kind of person - let alone best friend (maybe girlfriend) - would ever _hope_ for that?

Toni fights the urge to vomit again.

The rest of her night is spent hating herself, waiting for a reply she knows is never going to come and just generally spiraling further down the rabbit hole.

She replays her conversation with Cheryl over and over again in her head, and every other conversation they’ve ever had too, and she doesn’t get a wink of sleep.

Which, honestly, is probably for the best, because Toni doesn’t even want to think about what kind of bad dreams she would have inflicted upon herself if she did.

(Reality has already become enough of a nightmare, anyways.)

She’s dead on her feet come morning and would normally just skip when feeling this bad, but she forces herself to go in the hopes that Cheryl will, too.

To no surprise, the redhead doesn’t show and Toni just spends the whole day going through the motions - the walking dead, inside and out.

She spends some classes staring at Cheryl’s empty seat, and avoiding her friends in others; she eats lunch alone outside and is ready to leave school as soon as the final bell rings.

Or, at least she tries to, but Josie catches her at her locker before she can escape.

“Hey, neighbor,” she greets her casually, clearly having no idea what kind of damage she inadvertently caused the day before. “I feel like I haven’t seen you here in forever.”

It’s because she hasn’t, since any other day, Toni would have walked Cheryl to her locker after last period, before they made their way over to Toni’s.

But Cheryl’s not talking to her today, or even here at all, so she has nowhere else to go.

“Yeah,” she answers non-committedly, voice low and gaze straight forward.

Toni’s worried she’s not going to be able to rein in her desire to chew Josie out for starting yesterday’s domino effect, even though she didn’t actually do anything wrong, other than be honest - something all of them could be more often.

“Do you know why Cheryl wasn’t here today?” the other girl asks as she opens her locker. “She hardly ever misses a day; she’s always bragging about her perfect attendance.”

The Serpent girl tenses at the mention of her best friend, and tries not to start bawling right there in the school hallway like some fucking loser.

“Nope,” she manages to force out, shoving her Biology textbook into her locker a little more harshly than necessary. She risks a glance at Josie. “She didn’t text you?”

And here Toni assumed the redhead was just avoiding_ her_.

“I sent a couple this morning, but haven’t heard back,” Josie answers with a shrug, seemingly not too worried about it. And why should she be, it’s not like _she’s_ the one that forced Cheryl to talk about one of the most traumatic events of her life. No, that was Toni. “What about Sweet Pea?”

Toni tenses again; Josie’s just determined to push _all _of her button’s today, it seems.

“He’s here,” she answers blankly, because even if she spent all day trying her best to avoid him, she unfortunately still had to see him.

“No, I know,” Josie sighs, putting one last book away before she closes her locker and leans against it, looking at the shorter girl somberly. “I meant do you know how he’s doing? I broke the news about Archie and I to him yesterday and I don’t think he took it very well.”

Toni bites back a scoff as she slams her locker shut. “No, he didn’t,” she tells the other girl shortly, shouldering her bag and gripping the strap tightly as she tries to keep her anger in check.

_It’s not Josie’s fault_, Toni tells herself again; she just didn’t like a boy the way he wanted her to.

She knows what it’s like to have to turn down someone that wants more from her than she’s willing to give. But Toni’s also been on Sweet Pea’s side too, left out in the cold and wondering what she did or why she wasn't good enough - she didn’t take it out on other people, though.

Honestly, Toni just wants to stay out of the whole situation, as much as she can at this point, and if asking Cheryl to talk to Josie hadn’t been the catalyst it was for them, she might have even regretted ever getting involved in the first place.

“Oh,” Josie sighs, face falling into a frown, and Toni feels bad for resenting her.

But just as she’s about to say something about it, she spots the boy in question making his way down the hall - his insane height making him easy to spot through the crowd - and she can’t be bothered.

“Look, I gotta go, Josie,” Toni tells her quickly, offering her a forced smile and half-hearted wave as she starts backing away. “I’ll see you later.”

She’s already gone before she can hear the other girl’s reply.

Toni has a little bit more luck with sleep that night, but not much - not enough to make her feel any better the next day.

The fact that Sweet Pea keeps trying to get her attention doesn’t help, or the fact that Betty pulls her into the newspaper office during lunch again.

“What now, Cooper?” she bemoans, crossing her arms and once again trying to remind herself who she’s really annoyed with. “I’m starting to think you just want to starve me.”

The blonde offers her a sheepish and apologetic smile. “I was just wondering if you got to talk to Cheryl yet? Y’know, about F.P.'s release today? I know she’s missed the past couple of days, but I was really hoping that she’s at least been returning _your_ texts.”

Toni’s posture slackens at the reminder - that Cheryl isn’t speaking to her, but the F.P. thing, too; just what she needs, something else to stress about.

“She’s not really talking to me at the moment,” she admits, somehow feeling like Betty is someone she can be honest with to some degree. “I didn’t get a chance to tell her.”

Betty looks surprised as she raises a curious eyebrow, knowing their history. “You guys had a fight?” she wonders, moving around her desk to lean against the front of it, like she’s intenting to interview - or interrogate - Toni. “You didn’t break up, did you?”

Eyes widening and completely thrown, Toni starts trying to sputter out some kind of transparent denial, but one look at the other girl tells her she’d just be wasting her breath, and_ fuck it_, she really could use someone to talk about this with, since her usual council of morons isn’t an option at the moment.

“How did you know?” she asks softly, not bothering to correct her assumption with semantics about parenthesized maybes.

“I’m kind of a detective,” Betty answers with a shrug, her mouth tugging at the side to make it obvious she’s joking, before it settles into more of a light smile. “It was the way she talks about you. I mean, I already knew you were in love with her, but she wasn’t as obvious at first. The way she talks about you, though…” Betty’s ponytail sways as she shakes her head. “I’ve only ever heard her talk about Jason like that, with that much fervor. And since you guys didn’t share a womb, I figured it must be love.”

Toni feels her first surge of hope in days, and she’s so tired she could actually cry at the words that warm her up.

Instead of thanking Betty, she just answers her as best as she can without betraying Cheryl even more than it feels like she already has. “It’s complicated,” she says, pushing the words out past the lump forming in her throat.

“Cheryl can be complicated,” Betty agrees, not unkindly. She almost sounds fond, like it’s something she’s recently learned to appreciate about her cousin. “But all the best ones are, right? You’ll work it out, you guys have been through worse.”

“Yeah,” Toni agrees with a pained smile, even though she’s not sure that second part is true, or if it is, if she can make herself believe it.

Though her conversation with Betty didn’t fix everything, or even anything, it does give Toni the will to make it through the rest of the school day.

Or at least it would have, if Sweet Pea didn’t scare the kid sitting beside her in Bio into vacating his seat so he could take it and try to force Toni’s hand.

“Come on, Tiny,” he whines when she starts packing her things up to move. “Can we please just talk?”

“You’ve already said more than enough,” she scoffs, slamming her textbook closed.

But in an effort to keep her there, Sweet Pea swipes it off the lab table before she can shove it into her bag. “I’m _really_ sorry, okay?” he pleads with her, easily holding the book out of her reach, even though Toni doesn’t even dignify his antics by trying. “I’m an asshole, I know. I dumped all my shit on you and it wasn’t fair.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Toni agrees with a clenched jaw and narrow eyes, not impressed in the slightest by this show of humility. She might have been, if all he did was yell, but he did so much more than that, so much he doesn’t even know about, so she can’t. “And you have no idea what you caused.”

Thrown by her words and the obvious venom behind them, the boy lowers his guard, and his arm, suddenly looking more confused than apologetic.

“What do you mean?” he questions, as if everything is fine and he’s asking her for the latest on her relationship status.

And again, even though she shouldn’t, Toni is too desperate for someone to talk to that she actually answers him. “I asked Cheryl,” she says simply, but harshly. “After you _screamed_ at me and made me feel like shit, I went to Cheryl and I asked her what happened.”

“_And_?” Sweet Pea asks from the edge of his seat, so intrigued that he doesn’t even attempt to stop her when she snatches her book back from him and shoves it into her bag.

“You made me _ruin_ everything,” she spits out at him, keeping her voice low as their teacher enters the room. “And Cheryl will probably never speak to me again. So _no_, we can’t_ just talk_.” Getting up from her stool and securing her bag over her shoulders, Toni shoots the boy one more glare to make sure he gets the message. “Just leave me alone and stay the hell out of my business. You’ve already done enough.”

With that weight off her chest, Toni roughly pushes past him, out of the classroom and then out of the school.

_Whatever,_ it’s Friday.

Considering her recent string of shitty luck, Toni half expects to get home and find Jake is back and has locked her out, but something finally works out in her favor, because the door actually opens and she can at least (not) sleep in her own bed tonight.

But before she spends hours tossing and turning, Toni has just as many to kill, which proves to be tedious, considering her best friend is shutting her out, and her other friends aren’t really an option for various reasons - Sweet Pea is an asshole, Fangs is probably with said asshole, and Jughead’s got a different one to worry about it.

That thought has Toni thinking of something other than her blow up with Cheryl for the first time since it happened.

F.P. Jones isn’t a man Toni was ever close to, but once upon a time, he was one that she respected.

He was her Serpent King, the man who took the title her grandpa always said her father could have had, and she was one of his loyal soldiers, trusting him with her life.

And maybe that trust wasn’t misplaced, considering he did what he did to protect them all, but her _respect_?

Toni’s not even sure she’ll be able to even _look_ at him again, let alone respect him.

She understands the position he was put in - by both Mustang and Clifford Blossom - but she thinks of that sweet red haired boy she grew up with, who she knows was destined for things bigger and better than his parents had planned for him, and she understands F.P. a lot less.

Jason was always this force of light and love in Cheryl’s life, and so he was that in Toni’s, too; they might not have spent much time alone together, just the two of them, but he never made her feel like a third wheel when it was just the three of them, either.

He was there for Cheryl when Toni couldn’t be, and though F.P. didn’t take him from her, he played his part, and that’s hard for Toni to get past.

Still, he’s her leader, who she vowed to follow and protect.

More than that, F.P. is her friend’s dad, and Toni knows what it means to lose that, so she can’t fully bring herself to resent his release, either.

(Sometimes, Toni thinks the only thing she’s completely sure of, is that she loves Cheryl.)

Toni’s phone chimes with a new text later that night, as she’s lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, and for a brief moment she’s foolish enough to think it might be Cheryl.

But as she grabs it off the floor beside her and holds it up, she groans, because of course it’s Sweet Pea.

_Please let me make this right_, he begs her, in all caps and a pleading face emoji that has no effect on her. _What can I do to fix this?_

Toni scoffs, tucking her brown bear into the crook of her elbow as she taps out her reply, fast and hard; _Unless you can go back in time and learn how to handle rejection like a fucking adult, there’s nothing you can do, so just leave it and me alone!_

She clicks out without a second thought and then scrolls down to Cheryl’s name, her thumb hovering over it and she considers it for a moment, until she realizes she doesn’t want to be the redhead’s Sweet Pea; pestering her to talk when she clearly doesn’t want to will just push her further away.

So instead, Toni taps on her mother’s name and sends her a quick goodnight text that tells her that she wishes she was there, even though what she really wants to do is ask her if she knows about what Penelope Blossom did to her.

But Toni’s already asked enough questions that she can’t handle the answers to, so.

After two nights of doing nothing but thinking and wallowing, Toni’s third night PTB (Post Truth Bomb) is a lot more eventful.

She spends her Saturday alone, doing homework and wallowing some more, but it isn’t until she arrives for her shift at the Wyrm that things take a turn, because when she gets there she finds out Hog Eye has organized a welcome back party for F.P. and nobody bothered to tell her.

A party she has to work at.

So much for trying to avoid him for as long as she could.

Which, granted, wouldn’t have been for very long, anyways, but Toni doesn’t appreciate the surprise.

“Thanks for the heads up, Cooper,” she mumbles when Betty stops by the bar a couple hours in, dressed a little looser than she normally is in an attempt to fit in.

The blonde winces in sympathy. “I didn’t know,” she swears, nodding when Toni asks if she wants her regular. “I don’t think Jug did, either.”

“Just try to keep him away from me, okay?” the pink haired girl implores her friend, trying not to look over across the room where F.P. has been stationed since he arrived, letting his underlings come to him.

But if she had looked, maybe Toni would have noticed the man walking in their direction before he arrived, seemingly following after his son’s girlfriend.

“Hope you ladies aren’t talking about me,” he greets them as he saunters over, a half full bottle of beer he shouldn’t be drinking in his hand.

Toni freezes, her jaw clenching, and Betty gulps as she looks between the two of them nervously, sensing the tension but not sure if it’s her place to break it.

“Of course not, Mr. Jones,” she eventually says with an awkward laugh, clearly deciding it is.

And just as Toni’s contemplating whether or not to tell him that she _was_ actually talking about him and _why_, another male she has no interest in seeing suddenly sidles up to the bar to make her night worse.

But instead of trying to talk to her like she expects him to, Sweet Pea just shoots her a glance before he’s throwing an arm around F.P.’s shoulders.

“There’s the King!” he yells boorishly, earning a few cheers from the rowdy crowd around them, and Toni doesn’t miss the way he subtly turns the older man around and steers him away from the bar, and her. “How does it feel to be a free man?” she hears him ask as they get lost in the crowd like they were never even there.

The pink haired Serpent watches them leave in confusion, wondering how all of that just happened so quickly, and as she turns back to Betty, a flash of red catches her eye, surprising her yet again.

Toni’s heart skips a beat at the sight of Cheryl after not seeing her for days, and her first instinct, other than to kiss her, is to rush her out of the bar, as if she could have just accidentally wandered into the place without knowing where she was going.

Cheryl’s in the Whyte Wyrm, the place she’s avoided at all cost the last few months; the place her brother was murdered.

“What are you doing here?” Betty asks before she can, giving voice to the only thought running through her head; the blonde sounds just as surprised to see her cousin here as Toni is.

Looking understandably nervous and incredibly out of place, Cheryl tries her best to keep it out of her voice when she answers, “I’ve come to speak with Toni.”

And even though that really should be obvious, Toni’s chest still throbs from another skipped beat.

“Really?” she squeaks out, not quite believing her ears, or even her eyes.

Cheryl offers her a shaky smile as she nods, stepping closer to the bar so that she’s standing at Betty’s side. “Sweet Pea stopped by Thistlehouse,” she explains lightly, glancing back in the direction the boy had disappeared to, and Toni wonders if her best friend knew F.P. would be here too, and decided to come anyways. “Luckily, while mother was otherwise indisposed. He talked some sense into me - which, yes, is as hard to admit as it is to believe.”

“Wow,” Betty laughs disbelievingly, taking the glass that Toni finally hands her without looking away from Cheryl. She tips it in her direction as a silent thank you and pushes away from the bar. “I’ll let you two talk.”

Her words finally drag Toni’s gaze away. “Wait,” she stops her, reaching an arm out but not actually grabbing hold of Betty. She pulls her phone from her back pocket to check the time - she has a break soon, but fifteen minutes won’t be enough. “I have a couple more hours left in my shift, you shouldn’t have to hang around here waiting,” Toni explains as she turns to Cheryl, offering her an apologetic smile. “You’d probably feel more comfortable waiting in my trailer.”

The redhead looks like she wants to keep her brave face on, but when she actually speaks, she replies in sheepish agreement. “Possibly,” she admits, and now she’s the one looking contrite, as if her gesture of coming to the Wyrm has failed if she can’t stay.

Toni shakes her head, her grin lifting to be more assuring. “You’d be bored here, anyways,” she tells her, and she’s not just saying that. “Why don’t I get Sweet Pea to take you back to my place and we’ll talk when I get home?”

The suggestion seems to relax the other girl, as a bit of tension visibly loosens from her shoulders and she nods again. “Okay,” she agrees demurely, hugging her jacket closer to her body.

“I’ll go get him,” Betty offers before Toni can ask, correctly guessing why she’d been asked to stay.

“Thanks,” Toni says as the blonde heads off in search of the boy, leaving her and Cheryl alone at the bar for just a couple of seconds before a few Serpents crowd around to place their orders, stopping any possible conversation in its tracks.

Cheryl’s sitting down and silently watching Toni work - just like she’d planned to do in the dark room before everything went to shit on Wednesday afternoon- by the time Sweet Pea makes his way back over.

“Blondie said you wanted her to fetch me?” he questions as he approaches, looking hopeful that his gesture has gained him enough points to get him off her shit list.

And while Toni - a firm appreciator of actions speaking louder than words - can’t deny it’s knocked him down a fair amount, she also can’t take him off completely yet, because sometimes words are needed, too.

It’s a start though, and enough to earn him some of her trust back; enough of it that she tosses him the keys to her trailer after she finishes pouring Byrdie’s drink.

“Yeah,” she affirms, sliding the older woman her glass. “Take Cheryl back to my place and keep her company until my shift’s done, will ya?”

Sweet Pea looks surprised at the request - not so much _what _she’s asking of him, but more so that she’s asking him at all - but doesn’t waste a second nodding.

“Yeah, sure, of course,” he rushes to agree, pocketing the keys and leaning into Cheryl. “Red loved the ride over.”

The Northsider scoffs and rolls her eyes as she slips off the barstool, but there’s a slight grin on her face as she pushes the boy away from her. “Hardly.”

Toni fights a smile of her own as she watches them, and can’t stop herself from calling out to Sweet Pea before he can start leading Cheryl out of the bar.

“Thanks,” she tells him meaningfully, and the way his face lights up makes it obvious he catches her drift.

He gives her an equally meaningful nod in return, but it’s the look Cheryl gives her that Toni thinks about for the next couple of hours.

The rest of her shift goes by agonizingly slow, and she spends most of it on edge that F.P. is going to try to talk to her again.

But he doesn’t, probably because Betty or Jughead talk him out of it, which gives her a lot of time to think.

Toni tries not to, though, she really does, but it’s not like tending bar to a bunch of drunken gang members takes a whole lot of brain power to distract her.

So she thinks about how Cheryl might have been feeling these past couple of days and what she might be feeling now; she thinks about the texts she let go ignored and how Sweet Pea _made_ her listen - wonders if she should have done the same thing.

It’s not like she hadn’t considered it, but she’d already forced Cheryl to talk about something before she was ready, and she never planned on doing that again. Toni also wasn’t convinced she’d be able to stop herself from straight up murdering Penelope if she answered the door, so yeah. It’s probably best she went with the wallowing route and let Cheryl come to her.

Once again, Toni had tossed that ball into Cheryl’s side of the court, so it was her play to make, and now that she has, there’s no longer any defenses standing in her way.

(Or something like that, Toni’s never been a big sports person.)

Toni feels a brief bout of déjà vu as she bounds up the stairs of her trailer, but that sense of panic she had last time isn’t present in her chest tonight.

There’s a lot waiting for her on the other side of that door, over two years in the making, but she’s not scared of it anymore.

_Anxious_, yes, of course, a little worried about hearing more of the trauma Cheryl’s suffered, but Toni thinks she’s ready, too.

As ready as she’ll ever be for something like this, anyways.

So she opens the door, and steps through it.

They’re playing a game of cards when she comes in, and they’re so into it that neither of them notice her until she clears her throat and closes the door behind her.

“Tiny!” Sweet Pea greets her, somehow both enthusiastically and whiny, sparing her a glance before he turns back to the game he’s playing with Cheryl. “Red’s hustling me!”

The other girl merely smirks at the accusation. “I’m just a tremendous learner,” she defends herself, eyes scanning the cards in her hand. “And infinitely better than you at everything.”

Sweet Pea rolls his eyes and scoffs, then slams his cards down on the coffee table in defeat, making a whole dramatic show of it.

“Whatever, Blossom,” he grumbles as he pushes himself off the floor and gets to his feet. “Next time you come to the Wyrm, I’m totally kicking your ass in darts.”

Cheryl’s smirk falters a bit at the mention of going back to the scene of her brother’s murder, and though Sweet Pea is predictably oblivious, Toni notices it right away and finally speaks up so the redhead doesn’t have to.

“I wouldn’t bet money on that if I were you, buddy,” she plays it off with a light laugh, remembering how easily Cheryl won her that bear and the archery skills she bragged about after - something Toni makes a mental note to get the girl to show sometime, once things are better between them. “What are you guys playing?”

“Gin Rummy,” Cheryl informs her as she starts gathering all the scattered cards while Sweet Pea slips his jacket on. “Which was Tattooed Big Bird’s own choice, I might add.”

Sweet Pea barks out a laugh, far too amused to actually be insulted, and just shakes his head as he makes his way towards Toni and the door.

“She’s all yours,” he tells his smaller friend with a smile as he passes her, but Toni reaches out to tug on the sleeve of his jacket, halting his steps for just a second.

“We’ll talk later, okay?” she offers him, that last bit of anger seeping away.

Sweet Pea’s a hot headed asshole sometimes, that’s not exactly news, but his heart is usually in the right place all those other times, so.

If Cheryl can be cool with him, and hopefully with her too, so can Toni.

“Count on it,” the boy promises with a nod and a fist bump, knowing she’s still gonna make him grovel a bit before she completely forgives him. “See ya, Tiny,” he says, lips curling a bit wider now. “Don’t let Red con you, too; she’s a card shark.”

Cheryl doesn’t even look up, just gives his retreating figure the middle finger, and then the door is closing behind him and suddenly, after more than two days of radio silence, they’re alone.

And of course, Toni doesn’t know how to handle it.

“Uh, is it okay if I just hop in the shower real quick?” she asks awkwardly, thumb pointing in the direction of the bathroom. “I smell like a dive bar. Which is, you know, fitting, but not really appealing.”

Call her a coward, but she just needs a little more time to collect herself.

“By all means,” the other girl allows kindly, slipping the full deck of cards into its sleeve and tossing it onto the table before she settles back into the couch. “I can wait.”

Cheryl sends her a reassuring smile that’s immediately mirrored on her own face, and it’s like they’re both thinking the same thing.

They’ve waited over two years, what’s another fifteen minutes?

Toni doesn’t waste too much time in the shower, and she doesn’t think too much, either.

She’s done enough of that, and it hasn’t done her much good so far, so even though it took her awhile to get the hint, she’s finally accepted that whatever will be, will be.

Whatever Cheryl tells her tonight, no amount of thinking will change or prepare her for it, so why bother giving herself the head or heart ache?

The only thing she has any control over is what _she_ says, and all Toni wants to say is that she’s _sorry_.

So that’s exactly what she does.

“Before you say anything,” she starts after her shower’s done, as she throws herself onto the couch beside Cheryl, tight jeans and revealing fitted top exchanged for plaid boxer shorts and a baggy Nirvana t-shirt. “I really wanna apologize for the way I came at you in the library the other day.”

But the other girl isn’t hearing any of it. “It’s quite alright, Toni,” the redhead assures her, shifting in her seat so they’re facing one another. “I was taken aback, to be sure, and it was upsetting, but after speaking with Sweet Pea, I understand why you did it - that you were driven to it.”

Toni chews her lip as she struggles with the reply, torn between relief at the understanding and guilt at the absolution.

She may have spent the past few days blaming her friend for this whole mess, but it wasn’t fair.

Because yeah, she couldn’t help how Sweet Pea’s cruel words made her feel, but acting on those feelings had been a choice, one that she made all on her own.

“Still,” Toni sighs. “I can’t get on Sweet Pea for taking out his shit on me and then do the same to you.”

But Cheryl’s still not having it. “That’s actually not what I meant,” she corrects her, brown eyes suddenly as sad as the smile spread across her uncharacteristically nude lips. “It’s me that’s to blame; _I_ drove you to such measures.”

Furrowing her brows, Toni shakes her head and reaches for her best friend’s hand. “What? Cher, no-”

“I did,” the redhead insists shamefully, clearly not interested in any arguments. “Sweet Pea told me what he said to you that day - which, please believe me, could not be further from the truth.”

“I know,” the Serpent promises her, surprising herself when she realizes it’s true.

Maybe it wasn’t at the time - it _definitely_ wasn’t at the time - but sitting here now, feeling the sincerity and adoration she always feels radiating off the other girl, she wonders how she ever let herself question it.

“He also detailed how anxious you’ve been these last few months, and how it’s only worsened since the night of Fangs’ birthday party,” Cheryl continues, then pauses as she considers. “Since the night we kissed,” she corrects herself, realizing the actual words are important. “I feel foolish, and incredibly selfish, for not considering what a burden my silence and secrecy was upon you.”

It means a lot to Toni to hear, that Cheryl understands what it’s been like for her, but she wants the other girl to know that she understands, too.

“I totally get it, though,” she assures her.

“Only now that I’ve told you,” the red haired girl is quick to remind her, bowing her head a little, like she can’t bring herself to hold Toni’s gaze. “I should have been honest sooner, but it’s not exactly a topic of conversation that’s easy for me; I try not to even think about it most days.” She covers Toni’s hand with her free one, squeezing it as if drawing some kind of strength from the touch, and looks up again. “I should have tried, though. For you, I should have tried, because you deserved answers for what I did to you. We always said we’d do anything for each other, and yet...”

The words and the sentiment hang in the air, waiting for either girl to grab hold, and Cheryl looks so distressed that Toni makes the move.

“Well, it’s not too late,” she reminds her softly, adding another hand to the pile, and getting hit with another wave of déjà vu, this time for a different afternoon and a conversation that was almost as hard to have as this one. “You can still tell me now. But only if you’re ready.”

“I’m not entirely sure I ever will be,” Cheryl admits in a small voice, taking a breath to feel bigger and nodding to herself. “But I believe it’s time. If we ever hope to move forward - and I _do_ so hope to - I suppose I can’t expect us to do that without first finally discussing the past.”

It’s obvious to Toni that this is hard on Cheryl and that she’s struggling, but she doesn’t offer her another out.

Because she’s right.

As much as Toni’s tried to fight it these past few months - to deny and ignore it, too - there’s no future without the past, no matter how traumatic.

The only way forward is through, as they say, and the only way through this is to talk about it, finally.

Even if it’s hard - _especially_ because it’s hard.

“Let me go make us some tea then,” Toni suggests with a smile, moving to stand up, but she pauses just long enough to press a soft kiss against Cheryl’s temple before she goes.

When Toni comes back with two mugs full of hot tea, Cheryl’s completely curled up sideways on the couch, her legs bent in front of her and her arms wrapped around her knees.

She nods thankfully when the pink haired girl hands her one of the mugs, and leans her head against the back of the couch as she watches Toni settle down in front of her, mirroring her position.

The silence between them isn’t uncomfortable, just loaded, and Toni doesn’t mind letting it drag on for as long as Cheryl wants it to.

Which isn’t too long, it turns out.

“Do you recall that weekend you had to stay over at Thornhill in eighth grade?” she asks suddenly, voice quiet and eyes drawn down.

But Toni’s so close that she doesn’t have trouble hearing her. “Of course,” she replies just as quietly, remembering it perfectly; she can probably count the number of times they hung out at Cheryl’s house on one hand, and it’s kinda hard to forget the days following her grandfather’s death.

She remembers Cheryl comforting her the whole time, holding her as she cried and brushing away her tears; she remembers her best friend _begging_ Penelope to let Toni sleep in her room this time, and she remembers that it was Clifford that finally allowed it.

Toni remembers Penelope barging into Cheryl’s room more than once, and she remembers the way they’d immediately pull apart as if they were caught doing something worse than what they really were; she remembers how worried Cheryl was after everytime it happened, and she remembers reassuring her everything was fine when it did…

“Well, it’s not as if Mumsie was all together forthcoming as she drove me to that hellish nunnery,” she continues. “But if I had to venture a guess…”

“Shit,” Toni mumbles, not sure if the new feeling of guilt creeping up on her is warranted or not. “I’m so sorry, Cher.”

“It’s hardly your fault,” the redhead waves her off firmly, like she’d never even considered it. She takes the first sip of her tea, but Toni doesn’t think her stomach can handle it, after all. “How she found out about us isn’t exactly important to the story, anyhow, is it?”

It hardly seems moot to her, but it seems like that might be one question that will just have to go unanswered. “I guess not.”

“Regardless of how she uncovered our relationship, it’s safe to say she was not a fan.” She laughs humorlessly and it hurts. “She must have been planning my stay at the Sisters for months, but I hadn’t a clue. I should have realized that I wasn’t going to my usual summer camp when my father decided to drive Jason to his in a separate car, but it wasn’t until we arrived at the Bates Motel that I realized something was very, _very_ wrong.”

There’s a bit of a shift in her tone then, the faux casual way she’s been trying to tell her story slowly fading to make way for more genuine emotion.

It makes Toni’s heart ache that much more, but it’s better this way.

“Fuck,” is all she can say to that, because everything else she’s thinking is violent and won’t make this any easier on the other girl.

“She didn’t even tell me anything as she left me there,” Cheryl recalls morosely. “It was a nun, _Sister Woodhouse_, who explained everything to me; she informed me that she was going to rid me of my _naughty thoughts_ and _convert me_ back to my _rightful path_.”

Toni feels that familiar taste of bile in the back of her throat, but she chokes it down with her emotions and tries to stay strong for Cheryl.

But that’s easier said than done, when every word out of the redhead’s mouth adds another crack to her already flimsy armor. “Oh, _Cher_.”

“I don’t, I don’t think I can talk about all that they did to me in there,” she admits brokenly, her voice cracking and tears pooling in her eyes as she looks pleading at Toni, as if asking her not to make her relive all of it.

“Hey, of course,” Toni is quick to assure her, moving her mug to one hand and using the other to rub over Cheryl’s calf soothingly. “Just tell me whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Cheryl nods thankfully, trying to blink away her tears, but only succeeding in making one fall, staining her soft, pink cheek with a single track.

“It was Hell,” she eventually discloses gravely, gripping her own mug tightly between trembling hands. “All the horrors you’ve ever read about places such as that, they’re all true, even the worst of it.” Toni’s own eyes start to water as she tries so hard not to picture the girl in front of her in that place, all alone; drugs forced into her system and electricity coursing through her veins. The urge to throw up is stronger than ever. “I was there for forty-three days.”

She swallows a gasp at the exact number, not knowing what she’d expected, and she wonders how the girl ever survived that long; Toni barely survived that long without a word from her best friend (maybe girlfriend) herself.

“Jesus,” she breathes out unsteadily, shaking her head in an attempt to rid her of horrible pictures that won’t leave. “I can’t even imagine.”

Cheryl offers her a pained smile that looks all wrong on her face. “I kept track of the days in my room,” she recalls. “Scratching lines in the cement wall like some cliched prisoner. I didn’t want to consider I’d still be trapped in there by the time your birthday came around, but if I were, I wanted to know what day it was.”

Toni’s heart aches that much more at the agonizing sweetness, and she does the quick math in her head. Forty-three days from the afternoon she left means…

“You were out by then, though, right?”

“I gave in on day thirty-nine,” she confesses shamefully, as if Toni would or could ever think anything less of her for it. “I didn’t break, but I gave up. I knew I couldn’t last much longer, and there was no escape, so I did and said whatever was necessary to be released.” She leaves the details of what that was unsaid, but unfortunately, Toni has a pretty good idea. “And I’d been so focused on getting out, that I hadn’t fully considered what it would take to maintain the charade on the outside to ensure I’d never be sent back.”

And there it is.

“You had to cut ties with me,” Toni says for her, not a trace of bitterness or accusation in her tone, but the words still trigger something in the other girl, as her entire body heaves before it cracks wide open, exposing the broken messiness inside.

“I’m so sorry, Toni, please, you must know that,” Cheryl finally breaks down and curls further into herself, the tears spilling over as the sobbing starts. “You have no earthly idea how harrowing that was for me to do, but you have to understand, I couldn’t go back there; I wouldn’t have survived it. _Please_ understand, I’m _so_ sorry for what I did to you.”

Toni’s crying now too, of course, for both of them.

“Cheryl, baby, I do,” she quickly tries to tell her. “_Of course_ I understand that, I promise.” Not sure she’s even being heard, the only thing Toni can do is take Cheryl’s still full mug from her hands and put it on the coffee table with her own, so she can pull her into her arms. “Come here.”

It takes awhile for Cheryl to calm down enough to continue her story, but Toni doesn’t mind.

She just holds her until she stops shaking, brushes her fingers through soft red hair and murmurs reassuring words against the crown of her head.

The tea is cold and long forgotten by the time Cheryl starts speaking again, but she stays curled into Toni’s side to stay warm.

“I had to live a lie,” she begins again, starting where she left off. “And I had to live it better than I had before. I couldn’t do that and still be around you, it would have been impossible, as I’ve since proven.” That gets the smallest of smiles out of Toni, somehow. “Besides, my mother had already taken her own steps to remove you from my life, anyhow.”

While her mother’s firing and their subsequent move to the Southside is the last thing on Toni’s mind right now, she can’t just ignore such a perfect opening.

“Did you know about that?” she asks gently, sure to keep anything resembling an accusation out of her tone. “About your mom blackmailing Alice?”

Cheryl sighs and wipes at her cheeks, before shaking her head. “Not at first,” she says. “When I’d heard your mother lost her job and you had to move, of course I had my suspicions of foul play, especially given the timing, but it wasn’t until I overheard my mother mention it in discussion with my father about what to do about the Polly and Jason situation, that I knew for certain.”

“Betty said her mom had a secret kid in high school?” Toni can’t help but clarify, because honestly, who knows how much dirt Penelope could have on Alice and everyone else in Riverdale. That woman is surely blackmailing at least three different people at any given time.

“Yes,” the redhead confirms with a confused shake of her head. “I must admit, despite my mother’s penchant for evil deeds, having yours fired and blackballed always struck me as something far more personal. Surely she had to know that the torture I endured in that God awful asylum would be motivation enough for me to keep my distance from you, as much as it shames me to admit.”

She raises a good point, but it’s one Toni stores away to wonder about later, because right now, her main concern is lifting up any weight Cheryl tries to carry on her shoulders.

“Hey, I told you, I get it, Cher,” she repeats herself again, ready to say it as many times as she needs to until the other girl believes it. “Yeah, it hurt like Hell, but I always knew there had to be something else going on to make you do that; I _knew_ that wasn’t really you.”

Her words seem to work a little better this time around, the way Cheryl nods and relaxes against her.

“It was so difficult without you, T.T.,” she laments with a sigh, idly playing with the ringed fingers resting on her thigh. “I don’t think you understand quite how much I missed you.”

Toni breathes out a light, melancholy laugh into red hair.

“I think I have some idea,” she argues gently, giving Cheryl a little shake for being so silly.

“But it’s different,” Cheryl disagrees, but not unkindly. She pulls away a bit so she can look up at Toni with eyes that tell as much of a story as her words have. “You’ve told me all the ways you held onto me while we were apart - your hair, your photography, your bracelet, the texts. You did everything you could to remember me, while I had to do everything in my power to try to _forget_ you.”

She’d be lying if she said it didn’t hurt to hear, but Toni hasn’t been lying about understanding everything Cheryl’s done, either.

Their circumstances were different, so they coped differently, it’s as simple as that; Toni would never take that personally.

“I understand that,” she simply says once again, holding the other girl’s gaze so that she knows she means it.

By the look on her face, and the way she lays her head back on her shoulder, Toni thinks maybe it’s finally starting to sink in.

“Those texts you sent, that was the only piece of you I allowed myself to have,” Cheryl continues wistfully, pulling at the red threaded bracelet she stopped wearing for awhile. “But then even those became too hard.”

Toni remembers what Cheryl’s told her about those texts before, and how can she not get that, too?

“Whatever you had to do to survive these last two years - to survive that _place _and all the trauma that came after_ -_ it was the right call,” Toni stresses, slipping her hand out from under Cheryl’s so she can hook a finger under her chin and tilt her face towards hers again. “_Okay?_”

Wet brown eyes catch and search for sincerity, and soften when they find so much she could drown in it.

Cheryl finally smiles again, even if just barely.

“Okay.”

Soon after, the long day, late hour and emotional exhaustion catch up to them, and they finally decide to turn in for the night.

Even after all that, Toni goes to bed with questions that still need answers, but with her arms wrapped around Cheryl, this time, they don’t keep her up.

*

Toni wakes up alone the next morning, but it isn’t until the events of last night come back to her that she realizes she shouldn’t be.

There was a weight on top of her when she went to sleep that isn’t there now, but while she misses it, she doesn’t worry.

For the first time in over two years, Toni doesn’t overthink or worry about a thing.

And when she finally registers the muffled noise coming from the other side of the door, she knows she has no reason to.

Cheryl’s in the kitchen when Toni finally comes out of her bedroom, and the sight of her effortlessly moving around the small space as she prepares breakfast in one of Toni’s flannels, has the Serpent’s heart swelling so big, she’s sure it could beat right out of her chest.

It’s a sight she’s never seen, but one that feels so familiar at the same time, Toni could swear it’s how she starts every morning.

(But maybe it’s just how she hopes every morning after this one will be.)

“Look at you,” she comments in a still sleep-scratchy voice, making her presence known. “Didn’t peg you as the cooking type.”

Cheryl spins around, looking a little surprised, but smiles brightly at the sight of Toni in front of her. “You know your mother taught me how to cook,” she reminds her, blowing a few stray strands of red out of her face. “You didn’t have all I required for my signature, and might I add _scrumptious_, omelettes, so I hope you still enjoy french toast.”

“I’m eating whatever you’re serving,” Toni promises with a grin big enough to match the redhead’s.

But then Cheryl’s gets even bigger as she nods towards a chair. “Then sit your cute little behind down and let me finish making you breakfast, since you already ruined my plan to bring it to you in bed.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Toni agrees with a salute, pulling out a seat and plopping down on it, content to watch Cheryl move around the kitchen like she’s home.

The stark contrast from the girl’s mood last night doesn’t go unnoticed, but after getting all that weight off her chest, how could she not be lighter on her feet this morning?

It’s just so nice to see her smiling again.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Toni asks a little while later, once breakfast has been served and Cheryl’s joined her at the table. “Or can you hang out?”

Cheryl raises an eyebrow as she reaches for the syrup - Blossom Maple Syrup, of course. “No plans,” she answers, pouring a generous amount over her french toast. “What did you have in mind?”

Toni’s shrugs, taking her first bite - it’s delicious, and just like her mother’s.

“Thought I could take you around the Southside,” she tells her once she’s finished chewing, licking the syrup off her lips as she looks at the other girl hopefully. “Give you a little tour of my world, show you it’s not as bad as you think.”

The redhead’s lips curve into a soft smile, and she reaches across the table to place her hand over Toni’s. “I already know that, silly lovebug,” she assures her, giving her hand a squeeze before she pulls it back. “But I wouldadore a tour of your quaint side of town. I can’t imagine a better way to spend my day than with you.”

Toni’s whole body feels like it vibrates, with excitement and butterflies and something else she’s not sure of, but it’s something she hasn’t felt in a long time, if maybe ever.

It’s unrestrained and freeing, and most of all, it’s hopeful - hopeful that this time will be different, in all the best ways.

(It already is.)

They finish breakfast, shower - separately, of course - and are out of the trailer within the hour.

“Are we not taking your bike?” Cheryl questions when Toni walks right past where it’s parked. “You’ve been trying to cajole me into riding that thing for months.”

“Yeah, and you hopped on the back of Sweet Pea’s first,” Toni huffs jokingly, though she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit salty about that.

The taller girl pouts as if she really thinks Toni is mad. “To come see you,” she points out, linking their arms together as they walk through the trailer park. “Surely that counts for something?”

And though she’s just teasing, Toni can’t help but laugh a little in disbelief.

Because Cheryl didn’t just come see her, she came to the _Whyte Wyrm_ to see her.

“Yeah, Bombshell,” Toni replies, trying to keep her voice light even though it’s heavy with meaning. “It counts for a lot.”

She’s not sure if the other girl picks up on it, but if she does, she doesn’t dwell. Instead, she gives Toni’s arm a little tug as she eyes the homes they walk past on their way out of the park.

“Speaking of Frankenteen,” she says after waiting just a few moments, not sounding at all as casual as she clearly tries to be. “Is his trailer going to be a pitstop on today’s tour, by chance?”

Cheryl’s hint is about as subtle as the rest of her is, but Toni can’t bring herself to get upset; she wanted those two to be friends and now they are - she can’t really get annoyed at them if it backfires on her from time to time.

“Not today,” Toni answers, gently but pointedly, hoping Cheryl won’t push it.

She’s not mad at Sweet Pea anymore, not really, and she plans to talk to him about it all soon, but after last night and the last few before that, Toni just wants to enjoy their day together, because somehow, it feels like it’s their first one.

“Okay,” Cheryl agrees easily, to start, and then she’s halting their movements. “But if I may say something on the matter?” She’s looking at her all imploringly, and all Toni can do is nod. “Perhaps cut him a bit of slack? He was racked with guilt when we spoke, and so afraid that you’d never forgive him.” Toni can’t deny that hurts her heart a little bit. “He shared with me what he said to you, and while it was indeed very cruel, he didn’t mean it. He was heartbroken, and I know very well how difficult it can be when you’re in love with someone you cannot have. As well as the foolish things you do to cope with such a reality.” That’s that lack of subtly again. “Don’t you?”

The Serpent shakes her head and breathes out a chuckle, rolling her eyes towards the clear blue sky; she doesn’t stand a chance against this girl.

She never did, of course, Toni’s always known that, but somehow it’s so much worse now, already. It’s like now that everything's out in the open, that pedestal Cheryl was already on has only gotten higher.

It’s probably not fair, and is just setting up for at least a tumble down the line, but Cheryl’s her best friend (really, truly, maybe girlfriend) and she’s been in love with her since she was a kid - how else is Toni supposed to see her?

She’s a sucker, that’s not exactly news.

“Yeah,” Toni agrees, her gaze dropping back down to look at Cheryl in those big brown eyes that look so damn warm in the Southside sun. “I certainly do.”

They go to the Twilight Drive-In first, which Cheryl’s actually familiar with.

The redhead tells her about coming that last night before it shut down, when Jughead organized a whole big thing.

Toni remembers hearing about that, though she didn’t go herself because she had to work that night.

She tries not to think of all the _what if’s_ that immediately flood her mind at the information, because maybe this all could have happened sooner, but they’re here now, together, and they’re _good_, and that’s all that really matters.

Their second stop is Southside High, or what remains of it, anyways.

It’s half torn down, but honestly, Toni can’t pretend that it looked that much better when all of it was still standing.

There’s something almost poetic and sadly beautiful about the sight, though, like it’s the perfect visual representation of life on this side of town.

She’s glad she brought her camera with her, and she tells Cheryl all kinds of stories about her years there, as she snaps picture after picture of the crumbling building.

Toni tells her all about her first day of freshman year and how terrified she was to start high school all alone; about getting cornered by the Ghoulies almost immediately, and how she met Sweet Pea and Fangs when they came to her rescue.

They’d seen her around the trailer park, they’d told her at lunch, and they knew she was a Topaz and a Serpent legacy, and everything after that is history.

Next, Toni walks them across the street to the local pawn shop and pulls Cheryl inside.

Like everything else on the Southside, it’s not big or fancy, but some of the stuff they sell is. Granted, most of that stuff was stolen from the Northside and too expensive for anyone around here to buy, but it gives the place a bit of character and cred.

Toni greets the older woman working behind the counter with a wave and a _good afternoon_, before she leads Cheryl to the back of the shop, where the old CDs and records are located.

Or, more specifically, where her_ father_’s old records are.

Her mother sold them, along with a bunch of their other stuff, when they first moved here - Jake’s trailer only had so much room and they really needed the money at the time - but the collection is worth so much and priced so high that they’re still here, over two years later.

So Toni still comes in from time to time to give them a listen and make sure they don’t get too dusty - the lady that owns this place is really nice.

“I’m gonna buy them back one day,” she tells Cheryl as she puts one of her favorite records in the player and hands the redhead a pair of headphones. “Surprise my mom with them. She never talks about it, but I know how much she regrets having to sell them.”

Her mother had felt _so_ guilty selling them that day, even though Toni assured her she understood, and she’d bet good money Jake would’ve done it himself one day if they’d kept them around the trailer, anyways.

Cheryl offers her a smile as she slips the headphones over her ears. “I think she’d love that,” she tells her kindly, just as the record crackles to life and the familiar old music starts to play. “You’re a good daughter, T.T., and truly the best person I know.”

Toni feels her cheeks heat up, more so because of how her best friend (hopefully girlfriend) is looking at her than because of what she said, and she doesn’t know what to say back to that.

So instead, she just slips her own headphones into place and lets the music take her away like it always does.

Except this time, though, when Cheryl delicately threads their fingers together to hold her hand as the voice in their heads sings about forgiveness and love, Toni has an anchor to keep her from going too far.

Toni takes Cheryl to her favorite bodega after that, where they each grab a sandwich and something to drink to take with them to the park.

It’s the only one on the Southside that’s safe for kids to play in; there’s an unwritten rule between the Serpents and the Ghoulies that it’s off limits for any gang activity, so Toni is sure to slip her jacket off as they enter.

There aren’t many kids around today for whatever reason, so they’re able to claim two swings to themselves to eat their lunch on, and it’s a comforting kind of peaceful.

They talk more about the Southside and Toni’s life there as they eat, and it feels nice to share so much and be so open with Cheryl after everything the other girl told her last night.

Yeah, they’ve spent the last few months getting to know each other again, while falling right back into it like nothing had changed at the same time, but things had, and they didn’t always talk about it like they should.

Everything was new and fragile - or old and fragile - and they tipped toed around some things that they don’t have to anymore, and it just feels _good_.

It feels like they’re finally moving forward.

But before they can, there’s still a few things Toni’s still dying to know, like-

“What changed?” she wonders out loud once she’s finished her sandwich. “Like, what was it that made you say _fuck it _and kiss me that night on the roof? Or even before that, when you stopped trying to push me away and you let us be friends again?”

It’s one of the main things Toni’s been thinking about since last night; not in the sense that it’s bothered her, she doesn’t _need_ to know, but she’s curious, that’s all.

She leans her head against the chain and watches as Cheryl considers her question, eyes on her lap as she neatly folds the sandwich wrapper into a perfect little square until she finally speaks.

“It was a lot of things, really,” she reveals after half a minute of silence. “I could take you through my complicated, and often contradictory, thought process over these past few months, but I wouldn’t want to bore you. And, honestly, I’m not so sure I understand it all myself.” Cheryl sighs and shakes her head, but when she looks up at Toni, she’s got a small smile on her face. “I was powerless against you, even from that first day. After a while, I just tired of fighting it, I suppose; fighting _you_.”

Toni gets it somehow, even though she never really tried to fight any of it, even when she maybe should have.

Maybe she really does just _get_ Cheryl that completely, or maybe she’s just powerless against her, too.

“Well, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one,” Toni offers lightly, jostling her swing a little.

“I always knew I was, it’s why I cut you out so completely last time,” Cheryl continues, and the words sound like they come out easier today than they did last night. “The way I feel for you, it’s an inevitability; I’m simply not strong enough to resist it, and that was a terrifying thought back then.” She shakes her head, and the feeling, off. “But now, after losing Jay Jay, and my father, watching our fortune and reputation spiral down the drain, it was hard to even see the point in trying, either. And Mumsie…”

She pauses for just a second, but it’s enough for Toni to worry.

“_What_?” the pink haired girl presses, leaning into the other chain and closer to Cheryl.

“Her talons have retracted some of late,” she elaborates, sounding as if she’s still trying to make sense of it. “She’s still as vicious and cold as she’s always been, but the loss has changed her, too. She’s never cared about me, you know that, but it’s as if she doesn’t even care to _control _me anymore, either.”

It’s the most Cheryl’s discussed her current dynamic with her mother, and Toni can’t say she’s not surprised, especially after last night’s revelations.

A Penelope Blossom that doesn’t try to regulate every move and decision her daughter makes?

“That’s hard to imagine,” she comments, the disbelief clear in her voice.

“I think that’s why it took me a spell to recognize that I didn’t have to be so cautious in regards to you this time around,” Cheryl explains with furrowed brows, like she hasn’t really thought of it before. “That we could perhaps be friends without having to be terrified of being sent back there; that she’s much too wrapped up in turning Thistlehouse into a bordello to even notice the company I keep.”

That’s that record scratch again.

Toni would’ve done a spit take if she hadn’t already finished her Coke. “Wait, _what_?”

“It’s a long and sordid story,” the redhead sighs, kicking at the sand beneath her. “The gist of which is that my mother probably wouldn’t even notice if I paraded you through the house this afternoon; I was holding onto an old fear, for much too long.” Toni hardly thinks that’s irrational, but she lets the other girl finish. “And, perhaps, my time with the Sisters had caused a little more internal damage than I have previously realized.” Cheryl lets out a much bigger sigh this time, and the chill running up Toni’s spine makes her shiver. “As you can surely gather, as mystifying as my actions and attitude may have been to you, know they were to me, as well.”

Shaking her head, Toni stretches her arm out towards Cheryl and wiggles her fingers until her best friend takes her hand.

“Whatever pace you need us to go at, that’s more than fine with me, okay?” she assures her, ducking down to catch the other girl’s gaze. “Whatever you need to do and however long you need to take to sort through everything, I’m here.” Toni squeezes the hand in hers. “I’m not going anywhere, babe.”

All it takes is one look for Toni to know that Cheryl believes her.

They spend another half an hour in the park, where Toni asks a few more questions and Cheryl fills in a few more blanks.

She tells her that the day at the swimming hole was a big turning point, between her realizing she wanted Toni to take care of her and that she trusted her enough to open up about her suicide attempt; Cheryl had forgotten what it was like to have a best friend like that, she’d said, and she didn’t want to lose it again. Toni remembers that’s when she started wearing her bracelet again and smiles.

Veronica’s party was another one, when they almost kissed in her room and then revealed so many truths they’d been holding back during the safety of a silly drinking game; Cheryl had decided she wanted more that night - which explained the weird flirty vibe Toni had picked up that following week - but she wanted to wait for the perfect moment.

The avoidance after the carnival was because she freaked out a little after running into Archie and Josie, because she was convinced they knew she was on a date with Toni and she had a little bit of a backslide in her fear; Toni already knew that, though.

But the most important confession of the afternoon?

Cheryl confirms Toni’s suspicions about her crush on Josie, and explains that her friend was simply the safest girl to channel her attraction and feelings into, so that she didn’t have to completely bottle them up until she exploded.

“Josie was like a celebrity crush,” Cheryl explains with a hint of embarrassment. “A pretty girl to like and be attracted to, whom I knew and accepted I had a less than zero chance of ever being with.”

Or at least that’s what she was supposed to be, until she caught herself getting a little too jealous at the idea of Josie going out with Sweet Pea, and she knew she had to nip those possessive feelings in the bud by agreeing to set them up.

And well, Toni knows how that story goes.

“So you’re not still into Josie, right?” she checks with an impish smile, knowing the answer but thinking Cheryl looks adorable with a little color in her cheeks.

“It was merely an innocent crush, one that has long since passed,” Cheryl insists, rolling her eyes and playfully kicking sand in Toni’s direction. “I may, however, have a new one.”

Toni nods, grin still spread on her face as she twists her swing around to face the other girl. “Oh yeah?” she asks like the flirt she is. “It wouldn’t happen to be me, would it?”

Cheryl laughs through her nose and presses her lips together, trying to suppress a grin of her own.

She brushes the hair out of her face as she twists her swing to match Toni’s, signalling for the Serpent to move closer so they can meet in the middle.

And just as they do, their faces mere inches apart, Cheryl whispers a simple _no _against her lips, before pushing Toni’s knees and sending her spinning.

The day ends all too soon, and before they know it, they find themselves back at Sunnyside, just as the sun is setting.

(And, conveniently, just as Betty’s about to leave Jughead’s place, so she can give her cousin a ride back to the Northside.)

“I hate the thought of sending you back there,” Toni sighs as they say their goodbyes, standing in the entrance of her trailer so they can have some privacy before Cheryl leaves. “I know you said your mom has been leaving you alone lately, but the idea of you being around her still makes me uneasy.”

All the fun and flirting from earlier is gone, now that reality has set back in - they might have made big strides in their relationship, but they can only take so many steps forward when circumstances are holding them back.

“I know, ma chérie,” Cheryl murmurs, brushing her knuckles over Toni’s cheek as she gazes down at her. There’s a sadness in her brown eyes, but the adoration there makes it hard to see. “I enjoy living with that wretched woman as much as I’d enjoy wearing Jughead’s lice infested beanie for any measurable length of time, but tragically, it is the hand I’ve been dealt.”

Toni tries to pout, but now all she can do is picture Cheryl wearing Jughead’s beanie and sporting a pout of her own, and she can’t fight a smile from tugging at her lips.

“I just wish you didn’t have to leave,” she whines, sneaking her arm around Cheryl’s waist to slip her fingers into her back pocket and pull the redhead against her.

“You’ll see me tomorrow,” Cheryl reminds her, lips brushing Toni’s forehead before she presses a kiss there and then leans back to look at her. “And then a year from now, after we graduate, I’ll never have to see my ghoulish mother ever again.”

As much as Toni loves the sound of that, it’s not soon enough for her liking.

But instead of voicing that thought, or any of the many ideas and plans currently running through her head, Toni just cups Cheryl’s cheeks, pushes up on her toes, and kisses her instead.

And after all that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours, and the seventy-two that came before that, Toni’s not at all surprised to find it’s their best kiss yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried to explain as much of Cheryl's actions and thought processes throughout the fic as I could in this chapter - obviously some things got more elaboration than others, but I really hope I was able to answer any questions or fill in any blanks you might have had about Cheryl and her motivations throughout this story. If there's anything you're still wondering about, feel free to ask in the comments and I'll either answer in a reply or if it's a big enough oversight on my part, will try to work it into the last chapter. 
> 
> Anyways, now that all the mystery and miscommunication between them is mostly resolved, the last chapter will be focused on resolving and tying up other loose ends. I hope you guys liked this chapter and it helped to give some insight into Cheryl for you. Please let me know what you thought of the chapter regardless, and maybe any predictions you might have for how it'll all end :) Hopefully the real last chapter won't take as long as this one to get up, since I have it all plotted out, but I'll be posting updates on my Twitter (@mylittlefaith), and you can follow me on Tumblr (@cherbombshells) until then.


	9. We'll Only Know For Certain If We Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) Okay, so this final chapter ended up being insanely long and just too much to post at once, so it was split in two again.  
ii) But since I already have all of it written, the wait won't be nearly as long for the final chapter. I'm thinking next week.  
iii) Due to that, a lot of this chapter is set up for that, but there's still some final questions that get answered in here, too.  
iv) Thanks for all the feedback and support on this, I'll be sure to say more in the final chapter's notes.  
v) Another big thanks to Ikea and Dee for reading this over!

Toni doesn’t know what to expect when she heads to school on Monday, but she knows whatever it is, it will be infinitely better than last week.

Things with Cheryl are better - they’re great, even - so it has to be.

She’s still not sure what they are, and even less sure how she’s supposed to act around her now, but that calm she felt yesterday morning is still there today, so she’s not worrying about it.

Whatever Cheryl wants them to be, and whatever pace she wants them to go at, that’s what Toni wants, too.

She just wants Cheryl, in whatever way she can have her - it was true years ago and it’s still true now.

But, as Toni’s phone buzzes in her hand after she mounts her bike and she sees a text message from Cheryl, telling her she can’t wait to see her, something tells her that she won’t have to make any compromises to have her anymore.

And as she sends Cheryl her reply without overthinking it (_Right back at you, beautiful, _heart-eyes emoji), Toni knows it’s gonna be a good day.

Maybe tomorrow will even be one, too.

Like many mornings before this one, Cheryl’s waiting for Toni at her locker when she gets there. But unlike most other mornings, Betty’s there too.

Toni slows her steps as she observes the cousins talking, the smile that immediately adorned her face at the sight of Cheryl dropping just a bit as she wonders what they could be discussing so intently.

She can think of a few things - some better than others - and just hopes Betty’s not ruining the day before it’s even really begun.

But Cheryl doesn’t look particularly upset or put out, so when Toni’s eyes drift around the hallway and spot Sweet Pea across the way, looking at her all hopefully, she decides to give the girls more time to talk. And instead of heading to her locker, she nods to the boy and heads in the direction of the nearest empty classroom, knowing he’ll follow.

“Alright, let’s hear it,” Toni says as she sits herself down on a desk and looks up at her friend. “No crying, or pouting. Groveling is okay.”

Sweet Pea cracks a smile, but it’s small enough to assure her that he knows her joke doesn’t mean he’s off the hook just yet.

“I’m sorry, Tiny,” he tells her sincerely, leaning against the desk beside her heavily, as if in defeat. “Really fucking sorry.” He shakes his head at himself. “I was a total dick.”

“Asshole,” Toni interjects.

“Asshole,” he corrects himself with a nod, smiling a little again as he agrees. “I definitely leveled up to asshole.”

Toni sighs, a softie, and nudges his leg with the toe of her boot. “I get it, though,” she sympathizes, but not as much as she did with Cheryl the other night. “You were hurt and angry.”

It’s not an excuse, she knows - and knows he knows, too - but it’s an explanation. And, as she remembers Cheryl’s words from the weekend, maybe it’s even a good enough one for her to give him another chance.

“I was, but it was more than that, though.” The boy sighs, folding his arms across his chest as he thinks of that afternoon and everything it made him feel. “I felt… stupid, and embarrassed.”

Toni’s thrown for a second, though she’s not sure why; Sweet Pea’s got just about the biggest ego of anyone she’s ever met - including Cheryl - and while she knew the Josie thing, and especially the Josie/Archie thing, was a hit to it, she somehow never connected his bruised ego to anything other than pride.

“For what?” she questions, even though she knows.

“For being so into Josie for so long and not getting it,” he huffs, avoiding Toni’s gaze. “Not seeing what apparently everyone else could see. It was shitty enough feeling like I was mooning over some girl that wasn’t interested in dating, but finding out she just wasn’t interested in dating _me_? And that everyone else probably knew about that, too? It was humiliating, Tiny.”

For such a big guy, Sweet Pea looks so small, and like such a kicked puppy, Toni feels that last little bit of anger towards him dissipate; he looks too sad to be mad at, and maybe that’s his plan, but she falls for it knowingly.

“Not everyone knows,” she offers him, kicking his leg lightly again. “Just Cheryl and I, as far as I know.”

He scoffs. “That makes me feel so much better.”

“It should,” she argues, fighting a grin. “Cheryl actually likes you for some reason; she doesn’t think less of you. And you know I’m in no position to judge you, look at how long I hung onto Cheryl after she said she didn’t want me.”

“That was different,” he quickly counters, falling right into the trap.

“Yeah, me and Cheryl are different than you and Josie,” Toni agrees pointedly.

It doesn’t take long for Sweet Pea to catch her drift. “Hey, I know that,” he insists, standing up straight, losing the self pity in favor of more remorse. “I didn’t mean that shit I said, okay? None of it.” Toni raises a challenging eyebrow, calling his bluff without words. “I mean, yeah, you know I had my issues with how you were handling things with Red, but not like _that_. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Well, I did,” she reminds him. “But _you_ were the one that hurt me.”

Sweet Pea’s whole body deflates in shame, and he drops his arms to his sides as he falls back against the desk again. “I know,” he sighs. “I know, and the worst part is that I _wanted_ to do it. But I’m really sorry. That’s all I can really do, I guess - tell you I’m sorry as many times as I have to until you believe it.”

As much as Toni kinda wants to torture the boy a little bit more, seeing just how sincerely upset he clearly is with himself, she feels that same twinge in her chest that she felt when Cheryl told her that he was worried she’d never forgive him.

“I believe it,” Toni assures him, putting him out of his misery. “And that’s not all you can do.”

She says it all meaningfully and sweet, but of course the big lug totally misses it all.

“What?” he asks imploringly, and pretty damn endearingly. “I’ll do whatever. Just say it, and it’s done.”

“You already did it, you idiot,” Toni laughs at him, kicking him a little harder in the shins for being such a dumbass. “Going to talk to Cheryl. Getting her to talk to me,” she explains.

“Yeah?” he grins, suddenly proud of himself. “You guys talked?” She nods. “So you know everything?”

“I think so,” she shrugs, fighting her own smile. “Everything I need to know.”

Sweet Pea waits a moment before pushing, too invested. “_And?_”

“It’s not my business to tell, Sweets,” Toni reminds him, smile faltering as she thinks of all Cheryl told her.

“Fair enough,” he relents, displaying a bit of growth. “But you were all smiley and rocking your regular heart-eyes out there, so I’m guessing whatever she told you was good. Good enough to explain what went down, I mean.”

Toni bites back a bitter laugh; he has no idea.

“Completely,” she promises him. “As far as reasons go, I can’t imagine a more understandable one.”

It’s obvious Sweet Pea wants to know more, and she doesn’t blame him, but he settles for her reassurance. “Good,” he nods, satisfied if she is. “I’m happy for you, Tiny. I’ve been rooting for you guys.”

“Yeah right,” she laughs.

“I have!” he protests indignantly. “With Red around, I’m actually passing English; those Shakespeare plays aren’t as hard to understand when you talk to someone that sounds like she comes right outta one everyday.”

Toni tries not to laugh as she slips off the desk, her heart warming as she thinks of her best friend (maybe girlfriend) and her special brand of diction.

“Shut up, it’s cute,” she mumbles, shoving her friend when he gets to his feet, too.

“Yeah, you’d think so,” he teases, before his eyes soften. “But we’re cool now, right? Because, and I don’t mean to get too mushy here, but I really don’t wanna lose you, T.”

“You won’t,” she swears, playfully punching him in the arm to keep things light. “You wouldn’t, ever. A Serpent never sheds its skin.”

“But you and me, we’re friends, not just Serpents,” Sweet Pea points out. “I don’t wanna lose that.”

“You haven’t,” Toni repeats, shaking her head fondly at this big, sappy idiot. “You can be an asshole, it’s not like I didn’t know that already. But you really need to get over Josie, man. I realize that’s rich coming from me, but it’s not good for you.”

“I know, I know,” he agrees. “And I’m trying, I swear. I just need to find another girl, one that actually likes me back this time.”

Toni nods, glad to finally hear it. She’s thankful for everything Sweet Pea’s infatuation with Josie has inadvertently brought her over the past few months, but for everyone’s sake - hers and his, especially - it’s for the best that he moves on.

It’s just a question of who he can move on to.

“We’ll find you a nice girl from the Southside to date, don’t worry,” she assures him, a sudden wave of affection for the big moron washing over her. “You’re a good dude, Sweets.”

“When I’m not being a total asshole,” he adds on, and she laughs.

“Well, you can work on that,” Toni reminds him, but it’s more like a demand.

“I will,” he promises, which is good enough for her.

And if they were the type of friends to hug, that’s what they’d do now.

Cheryl’s still by her locker by the time Toni finally gets there, but this time, she’s by herself.

“Did you happen to say something to my darling cousin?” the redhead asks as she approaches, just sounding curious, not upset.

“Good morning to you, too,” Toni replies with a smile, tugging on the front of Cheryl’s shirt because she doesn’t know how else to greet her at the moment. They didn’t really talk about ground rules for public displays of affection, and though she’s got enough sense to know what _not_ to do, what she _can_ do is less clear.

Cheryl’s own smile spreads wide before she pulls Toni into a hug. “Of course, how silly of me,” she laughs lightly at herself, letting the hug linger a bit longer than what would be considered friendly, and dropping a quick kiss to her cheek as she pulls back. “Good morning, T.T.,” she says sweetly.

Mmm, and what a good morning it’s already turning out to be.

“Morning,” she says back dumbly, even though she already said that.

Cheryl rolls her eyes fondly and reaches up to gently wipe off the red lipstick mark she must have left on Toni’s face. “Now tell me, did you speak with Betty?”

“About what?” the Serpent asks, because she’s talked to the blonde about a surprising number of things recently.

“Father Hobo,” Cheryl clarifies, brushing her thumb over Toni’s lips after she’s finished, before dropping her hand back to her side. “She just approached me out of the blue to apologize for what happened months ago.”

“Ah, _that_,” Toni hums, popping her locker open with practiced ease. “I might have said something to her last week, before everything went down.”

It’s honestly hard to believe that was just last week; so much has changed since then.

“While I appreciate the chivalry, you didn’t have to do that,” Cheryl insists, but one look at her makes it obvious how touched and thankful she is for the gesture, anyways.

It warms Toni’s heart to have put that expression on her face, and it hurts to know that nobody else probably has, not since Jason.

“She hurt you,” the pink haired girl points out simply, pulling a book from her locker. “And I love you. So yeah, I had to do that.”

That look on Cheryl’s face only gets more intense as wonder gets added to the mix, and as much as Toni’s stomach flutters being on the receiving end of something so pure, she tries not to bask in it, no matter how much she’s missed the feeling.

“I don’t quite know what to say to that,” the other girl eventually replies softly, her tone reflecting the look in her eyes.

The smile Toni gives her in return is just as soft. “That’s gotta be a first.”

“Thank you, Toni,” Cheryl tells her meaningfully, bypassing her attempt at a joke. She takes a step closer. “It’s been quite a long time since someone’s cared to defend or protect me as you do, and I hope you know how grateful I am for it, and for you.”

And even though nothing she says is anything new to Toni, the shorter girl’s chest still aches at the words. But instead of dwelling on them, and everything Cheryl’s lacked, she thinks just of what she has now.

“Well, get used to it, Bombshell,” she vows, following Cheryl’s lead of what’s okay, and leaning in to press a kiss to her pale cheek; hers doesn’t leave a mark. “Because nobody’s hurting you and getting away with it on my watch.”

Cheryl visibly swoons, and Toni falls a little bit more in love with her.

(Penelope Blossom doesn’t stand a chance.)

Toni’s mindful of how Cheryl acts with her throughout the remainder of the school day, curious to see what kind of limits she sets.

She could just ask her what she’s comfortable with and what she isn’t, but just doing that feels like it might be some kind of pressure on her and that’s the last thing Toni wants.

It’s not another conversation she’s avoiding, not at all, just one she doesn’t feel needs to be had. Not when Cheryl can tell her everything she needs to without words.

Like the way she reaches for Toni’s hand as they walk down the hallway or sits pressed up against her at the lunch table; the way she hooks her finger in the belt loop of Toni’s jeans when she stops by her locker again or hugs her from behind in greeting before Vixens practice.

All of that tells Toni that Cheryl’s more at ease now, just like her; that even if she’s not ready to ride a float in a pride parade or kiss her in the middle of Pop’s to confirm people’s suspicions, she doesn’t mind if they have them.

It’s a big deal, big strides made in such little time, and Toni’s so happy to be taking them with her.

Whatever pace she wants to go, Toni’s with her, right beside and in step with her, until the end of the line.

Toni’s not the only one that notices the shift between her and Cheryl, because it’s the first thing the boys want to talk about when she joins them at their table after her shift at the bar the next night.

“You and Red have been looking pretty cozy,” Fangs says as soon as she sits down. “Did you finally get you a girlfriend, Tiny?”

Toni rolls her eyes at the expected questioning, but as an answer teeters on the tip of her tongue, she registers who all is around.

“You guys weren’t already dating?” Jughead questions before Toni can even start formulating an answer that wouldn’t out them to someone that apparently already knows.

She gapes at him for a second before rolling her eyes again, but this time at herself. “Of course you know,” she mumbles. Betty knew, so why didn’t she assume Jughead did, too? “But no, we weren’t dating already.”

“Really?” He’s clearly not used to being wrong.

“It’s a long story, bro,” Sweet Pea explains around a sip of beer, saving her the trouble.

Jughead shrugs, clearly not as invested in the details as the other two are.

“But you’re dating _now_, right?” Fangs asks again, looking a little hopeful.

It’s sweet and Toni finds herself wishing she had an answer to give him, more for his sake than hers.

Because while the not knowing used to stress her out, she currently finds herself suppressing that fluttery feeling at the question, like the unknown is exciting now.

“I don’t know,” Toni answers honestly, and with an easy grin.

But as quickly as the giddiness comes, that familiar dark rain cloud of doom known as Penelope Blossom follows close behind, and her smile falters at the thought.

“What?” Sweet Pea wonders, noticing the way the line of her mouth flips. “Don’t tell me you’re back to overthinking already.”

“No, it’s not that,” she’s quick to deny, because it’s not. There’s no such thing as overthinking a woman like Penelope. “I was just thinking about her evil mother.”

Toni was thinking about how even if Cheryl’s ever comfortable coming out and being together at school - if or when they ever do officially become a couple - she won’t really even be _able_ to while she’s still living with that wretched woman.

Penelope might not be as overbearing as she once was, but Toni has no doubt she’d suddenly start caring again if she got even an inkling that Cheryl’s embraced her sapphic side again. People might not have talked about Cheryl being friends with a Serpent, but word of Cheryl _dating_ one? A female one? That kind of news travels fast, and it would surely travel right to Penelope.

And while Cheryl might not be as scared of that as she once was, Toni’s _terrified_. And really fucking angry.

“That lady’s something else,” Jughead comments with a grimace, the only one of the boys that knows her. Yet still, he has no earthly idea.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Toni mumbles, picking at the napkin on the table in front of her. “As long as Cheryl’s living with her, I don’t know if we even_ can_ really date.”

“Red’s that scared of her?”

Toni shrugs, only knowing how she feels, and how_ she_ feels is that she’d rather die than ever let Cheryl suffer at the hands of her mother again.

“_I_ am,” she admits, and while she’s not sure what that means, she tries not to think about it.

Except all she does for the next half hour is think about it.

And drink.

“I should just go over there and threaten her with my switchblade,” Toni decides three beers later, and though she’s closer to tipsy than drunk, she means it. Mostly. “Will you guys come with me?”

“Hell yeah,” Sweet Pea agrees without hesitation, and he’s only on his second drink.

Fangs, on his first, agrees. “We got your back, Tiny.”

Jughead, nursing a Coke, shakes his head. “Not a chance.”

“God, you’re always such a buzzkill, man,” Sweet Pea complains with a pout.

But Toni knows he’s got the right idea and deflates against her chair in defeat. “I just wish there was a way to get her away from that bitch,” she sighs helplessly, tracing a heart in the condensation on her glass. “I don’t think I can handle the stress of sending Cheryl home to her everyday for another year without even _trying _to do something about it.”

The boys are silent for a few moments, Sweet Pea and Fangs sharing similar clueless expressions, until Jughead finally proves useful by suggesting an actual logical course of action. “Why doesn’t she get emancipated?”

“Like divorce her mom?” Fangs questions, looking dumber than he sounds.

Toni straightens up in her seat as Jughead considers the comparison. “Kinda,” he eventually grants. “It basically just means legally separating herself from her mom while she’s still a minor.”

“So Penelope wouldn’t have custody or control over her anymore?” she asks seriously, suddenly sobering up as she leans closer, curious.

“That’s the idea,” Jughead nods. “I looked into it awhile ago, you know, with everything with my dad and Social Services.”

He didn’t end up going through with it, obviously, but that doesn’t mean Cheryl can’t. It also doesn’t mean she will, but that’s a bridge Toni will figure out how to cross when she comes to it.

“Josie’s mom could probably help,” Sweet Pea pipes up, and of course it’s to say something related to Josie. He shrinks as they all shoot him the same look. “What? She used to be a lawyer, is all I’m saying.”

“Who’s a lawyer?” the Devil asks as he appears from behind Toni a little late. “What are you kids talking about?”

The table falls silent, and Toni knows it’s for her benefit. None of the guys really have an issue with their King, so the only reason his approach immediately makes things awkward is because they know she does.

So Jughead is a good friend and tries to keep him out of it. “Nothing.”

But of course, F.P. doesn’t buy it. “Don’t lie to me, boy,” he replies sharply. “You better not be talking about the Snake Charmer.”

“We’re not,” the beanie wearing boy is quick to deny and that’s clearly a whole thing between them that Toni has no knowledge of, and is more than happy to keep it that way.

“Because I warned you about her-” F.P. starts, moving towards Jughead with a pointed finger, and as much as Toni doesn’t want to involve him in anything to do with Cheryl, she doesn’t feel like listening to her friend get yelled at for something he didn’t do.

So she finally speaks up. “We’re talking about Cheryl,” she explains dully, stopping F.P. in his tracks.

Sweet Pea and Fangs shift uncomfortably in their chairs when F.P.’s gaze turns to Toni and all of his anger fades as quickly as it came.

“Blossom?” he questions rhetorically, as if they’d be talking about anyone else. “She in some kind of trouble?”

Now it’s Toni that shifts in her seat, but less because she’s uncomfortable and more because it physically hurts to talk to this man without ripping into him, especially about her best friend (maybe girlfriend).

“Not exactly,” she answers, not sure if it’s the truth or not.

“Because if she is, you tell me how I can help,” F.P. insists, sounding surprisingly sincere. It’s enough to make Toni look up at him finally. “I did wrong by that girl and she saved my ass, it’s the least I can do.”

Toni’s first instinct is to tell him to fuck off, Serpent King title be damned, but something keeps the words trapped in her throat.

Listening to F.P. talk about Cheryl like that makes her want to deck him, and the thought of asking for help makes her want to rush to the bathroom and give a repeat performance of that afternoon a year ago, but this isn’t about how she feels.

This is about Cheryl.

And while she’s sure Cheryl would have a similar reaction, both of them might have to find a way to get over that.

Because F.P., while he doesn’t seem like much, has a lot more power and sway than most would give him credit for, and he has a sordid history with the Blossoms; who knows what kind of knowledge or leverage he might have on Penelope, or other ways he might be able to help.

So while it would be hard to take any kind of favor from him, he’s not wrong - he _does_ owe Cheryl.

And if he can help get her away from her mother, Toni won’t hesitate to make sure the redhead cashes in on it.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know,” she eventually tells F.P., because it’s not her call to make.

Enough people in Cheryl’s life have made her decisions for her, Toni’s not going to be one of them.

(Penelope is a sensitive subject, though, so Toni doesn’t bring it up right away.

She doesn’t think Cheryl will get mad or defensive, or even upset, but after all the time that woman has already taken from them, Toni figures it’s okay if she gives them a couple happy days before broaching the topic.

Even if every day Cheryl stays in that house, Toni gets a little more paranoid.)

She decides to wait until Thursday, when Cheryl comes over after school, and even then, she doesn’t plan it.

They’re just laying together on the couch, Toni with her back against Cheryl’s front because she’s “shorter” and “obvi that means she’s the little spoon.”

_Whatever_; Cheryl’s lucky she’s cute.

“Have you ever thought about getting emancipated?” Toni asks out of the blue, when there’s a lull in the conversation after the redhead is finished retelling the awkward scene she witnessed between Archie, Josie and Veronica at school earlier in the day.

She expects Cheryl to get tense, if not mad, but all she does is hum, and keep stroking her arm. “I’ve dreamt of it,” she sighs into pink hair.

“But you never looked into it?” Toni clarifies, picking at the red bracelet wrapped around Cheryl’s wrist.

Considering all she went through, it’s not like Toni blames the girl at all, but it’s still hard for her to accept how resigned Cheryl was to her circumstances before they got thrown together again.

Not to give herself credit for something Cheryl’s overcome herself, but it hurts Toni’s heart to think of where the redhead might be now - and how she might be suffering - if fate (or Hiram Lodge) hadn’t stepped in.

“Jay Jay did,” the red haired girl explains. “Before he and Polly devised their tragic plan to run away, he mulled over the idea of becoming legally independent, but it never would have worked. It would have been impossible to do without Daddy finding out and he never would have allowed it to happen. And Mumsie certainly wouldn’t have after losing him; for whom would she take her grief out on if I were gone?” She squeezes Toni a little tighter, as if knowing that last admission hurt her. “Besides, it’s not as if I had anywhere else to go.”

“But you do now,” the Serpent is quick to remind her, carefully shifting against the other girl so that they’re facing each other.

Cheryl’s eyebrow arches. “I do?”

“_Here_,” Toni tells her with conviction and soft eyes. “With me.”

“You, me and your uncle,” the redhead replies lightly, clearly not realizing how serious Toni is about this. “Sounds cozy.”

And admittedly, she hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.

“Okay, so it’s not perfect,” she reluctantly admits, though her voice doesn’t waver. “But, baby, we can figure something out. My mom will help. Josie’s mom will help.”

“You’re calling in favors with the Mayor now?” Cheryl teases.

“Sweets said she used to be a lawyer.”

Now both of Cheryl’s eyebrows raise and furrow, and her smile falters a bit as she seems to finally realize that Toni isn’t just speaking in hypotheticals. “You’ve been discussing this with Sweet Pea?”

“I mean, not on purpose,” Toni admits, suddenly realizing that maybe she overstepped by talking to her friends that night. But she needed to vent to _someone_, and she’d never dump that on Cheryl. “Jughead was the one that suggested it; I wanted to charge Thistlehouse with my boys and my switchblade, but Jones was being a wet blanket about it, as per usual.”

She keeps her tone light, not sure of Cheryl’s reaction, but she doesn’t seem mad; brown eyes just search her own, until they find what they’re looking for. “You’re truly serious about this, aren’t you?”

Toni nods, not sure why Cheryl isn’t.

“About the emancipation, yeah,” she tells her, holding her best friend’s gaze, even though it’s harder than it has been all week. “It kills me to send you off to your mother everyday. I know you said you’re not as worried about her anymore, but _I’m_ worried _for_ you. I just got you back, Cher, I can’t lose you again, and I’m terrified I will.”

“Oh, Toni,” Cheryl whispers sadly, reaching up to cup her cheek, and that look on her face is exactly why Toni talked to the boys about this instead of her.

She’s been trying to keep this in, deal with it quietly the way Cheryl’s had to for years, so that the red haired girl didn’t have to carry any more weight than she already has to.

But most of the time, all silence does is hurt everyone even more.

“Just promise you’ll think about it, okay?” Toni practically begs, because that’s all she really wants, for Cheryl to know she doesn’t just have to accept what her life is. “Like, _seriously_ think about. You said it yourself, your mom isn’t who she used to be. And you’d have so many people backing you up, she wouldn’t stand a chance, anyways; my mom, probably Alice, the fucking Mayor, and-” She stops herself before the words spill out, as if stalling to give it the appropriate gravity will make it any easier for her to hear. “And even the Serpent King.”

The vibe immediately shifts and Cheryl tenses, and though she still doesn’t look mad, she’s closer to it now than she was before.

“You spoke to F.P. about this, too?” she questions carefully, the hand that was on her face dropping to her shoulder.

“Of course not,” Toni swears gently, turning her head to drop a kiss against pale fingers. “He overheard us talking about you and I didn’t tell him what was going on, obviously, but he made sure to tell me that he wants to help you in any way he can. He said it’s the least he can do after everything.” And while Toni agrees with that sentiment and knows how helpful F.P. could potentially be in this situation, she hasn’t changed her stance; “But only if you want it.”

All of this is Cheryl’s decision to make, and hers alone. And Toni will respect and honor whatever that decision ends up being, even if it kills her.

But thankfully, Cheryl looks like she might genuinely be thinking about it.

“I’ll consider it,” she voices eventually, her tone asking _are you happy now? _

“That’s all I’m asking,” Toni smiles, leaning forward to kiss Cheryl’s pouty lips this time. “You’re not alone anymore, Cheryl,” she whispers when she pulls back, pressing their foreheads together and brushing her nose with hers.

Their second kiss is longer and deeper, and full of hope.

It’s harder than usual to say goodbye to Cheryl later that night, and even though she texts when she gets home and then again before bed, just like she promised, like every night, Toni doesn’t stop worrying until she sees her smiling face waiting at her locker the next morning.

The school day goes by surprisingly fast for a Friday, at least compared to how painfully long the last one was for Toni.

(What a difference a week - and a best friend (maybe girlfriend) - can make.)

“Anyone free to hang this weekend?” Sweet Pea asks towards the end of lunch, which they’ve all opted to eat in the student lounge today.

“Well, I’m officially meeting my long lost half-brother tomorrow,” Betty shares with fake enthusiasm, clearly not particularly thrilled about the idea. “So that should be fun.”

“Me too,” Jughead adds as he munches on some chips, reminding everyone that Toni wasn’t the only person that got some life altering truth bombs that weekend.

The fact that F.P. is the father of Alice’s long lost son Charles was a fun little tidbit the couple shared with their friends earlier in the week, something they both found out the morning after his big welcome home party.

“Are we just supposed to pretend that’s not weird?” Fangs interjects from across from the couple, speaking for the other four teens in the group.

Jughead doesn’t even bother to finish chewing before he answers firmly, “Yes.”

The four of them share a look, all silently agreeing that’s not gonna happen, but none of them comment on it yet; the least they can do is wait until the news is a little less fresh before they start teasing.

“_Anyways_,” Sweet Pea says pointedly, looking over to the two girls sharing a chair. “Ladies?”

“My mom’s in town,” is all Toni has to say, because everyone already knows what that means.

While Cheryl waits a beat, squeezes Toni’s thigh and hesitantly answers, “I’m spending time with Josie,” like simply saying the girl’s name in Sweet Pea’s presence is going to send him spinning.

“Hey, don’t be shy on my account, Red,” he tells her when he picks up on it. “I’m cool.” One look at all his friends tells him they don’t believe him, but in his defense, Toni knows he’s taking strides. “Well, I’m getting there, anyways.”

Cheryl smiles painfully, and Betty senses a need for a subject change. “Speaking of your mom,” she says suddenly, bright eyes finding Toni. “Have you talked to her lately?”

“The usual,” the pink haired girl shrugs, which means it’s been mostly through texts. “Why?”

Betty just smiles, tight lipped and all knowingly, and shakes her head. “No reason.”

She doesn’t believe her for a second, but the warning bell rings before she can question her.

Toni knows Betty well enough to know that the blonde is always up to something and doesn’t say things like that without reason, but by the end of the day, she’s mostly forgotten about it.

And not just because she met Cheryl in the locker room after Bio and got a little PG-13 action between classes.

“Are you staying at Josie’s all weekend?” Toni asks as they walk out of school and towards the parking lot, fingers laced together casually and swinging between them.

“Yes,” Cheryl answers firmly, leaving no room for Toni to try to talk her out of it. “So please stop worrying yourself so much.”

“It’s not that,” the Serpent replies, and it’s at least not _just_ that. “I was just wondering if my mom would get to see you.”

Toni hasn’t told her mother everything Cheryl told her - like she told Sweet Pea at the beginning of the week, it’s not her story to tell - but she knows she finally got her answer, and she knows it hurt.

She knows her mother would never push Cheryl to tell her, but she also knows her mother would love to give Cheryl a big hug.

But it looks like she might have to wait another couple of weeks for that, because the other girl is shaking her head.

“I don’t think so,” Cheryl breaks it to her, bumping their hips together as they near her motorcycle. “But I think it would be best if the two of you spent your time together alone, anyhow; you certainly have much to discuss.”

Because Toni hasn’t asked her mother about the whole Alice thing yet, either.

She’s not sure why, since she’s pretty sure she already knows the answer, and it’s not like she’s _mad_, but Toni figured this is a question best asked face to face.

Especially because it’s not the only one she has.

“I guess you’re right,” Toni grumbles reluctantly, just as they reach her bike.

Cheryl doesn’t let go of her hand, even as they come to a stop, and while it doesn’t go unnoticed by the shorter girl, what she says next garners too much of her attention to really pay it much mind.

“Speaking of hard conversations,” she begins nervously, squinting in the sun as she tries to force herself to hold Toni’s gaze. “I’ve made plans to come out to Josie this weekend. And to tell her about us.”

Toni’s eyes widen, her surprise mild but still so excited.

“Shit, babe, that’s a _big_ deal,” she breathes out with a growing smile, not wanting to freak Cheryl out, but not wanting to downplay it, either.

This is the first time she’s actually coming out to someone on her terms, as far as Toni knows; everyone else has kind of figured it out on their own.

A fact that apparently hasn’t gone unnoticed by Cheryl.

“I’m not entirely sure how shocked she’ll be, considering every other one of our friends apparently already knew,” she mutters in frustration.

“_Still_,” Toni insists, biting back a laugh as she pulls her best friend (maybe girlfriend) into a warm hug. “It’s a big deal, Bombshell,” she whispers into her neck, then presses a kiss there. “I’m so proud of you.”

She feels Cheryl nod against her, her lips kissing the same spot on her throat, and then she pulls back just enough to get a look at her face. “You can tell your mother, too,” she says softly but steadily. “She deserves to know.”

Toni swallows thickly and wets her lips, searching Cheryl’s eyes for any kind of hesitation, and finding none.

“Tell her what?” she asks just as softly, because there’s so many things to say, and only some of them are hers.

“All of it,” Cheryl shrugs, suddenly looking so very tired. “Everything, if you want.” She drops her head to Toni’s shoulder and slumps against her, letting the shorter girl hold her up. “I trust you,” she says.

But what Toni hears, loud and clear, is _I love you_.

*

For as long as her mother has been living in Centerville and coming home to Riverdale every other weekend, Toni can count the number of times she’s already been there when she got home from school on one hand.

So when Toni pulls up to her uncle’s trailer and has to park her bike beside her mother’s car instead of in its usual spot, she’s a little surprised, but not quite suspicious yet.

It isn’t until she gets inside and almost trips over a box sitting by the door that she realizes something’s up.

“What the-?” she mumbles under her breath, nudging the half empty box out of the way as she steps around it and closes the door behind her. “Ma?”

“In the kitchen!”

Toni follows the voice and finds her mother where she said she was, with half the contents of the cupboards piled up all over the counters.

“You’re home early,” she observes, eyes sweeping over the whole scene before commenting on it. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out what I can make for dinner out of what you have here,” her mother answers, reaching up on her toes to grab a bag of pasta off the top shelf and slam it down on the counter with everything else, before she turns around and gives her daughter a big grin. “We’re celebrating, baby!”

Her smile is infectious, so Toni can’t stop her own from growing, even though she has no idea what the hell is going on. She just knows whatever it is, it must be good news.

“What are we celebrating?” she asks.

“My new job,” the older woman beams. “Or, my old job, I guess.”

Toni’s eyes widen and she tries so hard to stop the hope from bubbling up in her chest. “Your old job?”

But then her mother nods, her matching brown eyes glimmering with tears. “Alice came to see me the other night,” she explains. “She offered me my old job at the Register back, effective immediately.”

Betty’s words from earlier echo in Toni’s head, and her feet step forward on their own. “Does this mean…?”

She can’t say it, she doesn’t want to believe; things are finally going well with Cheryl, there’s no way Toni could ever be lucky enough to get her mom back, too.

“Yeah, bug,” she whispers, choking a bit on the emotion. “I’m coming home.”

And just like that, a big piece of a new puzzle falls into place, and Toni drops her bag to the floor so she can leap into her mother’s arms.

They spend the next hour and a half discussing _most_ of the details.

Toni gets too distracted with all the new questions she has to ask the biggest one, but by the time they finally decide to just go out to dinner, she’s learned the following:

Alice made a few calls, found out where Karla was working now, and showed up at her place of employment to offer her back her job, and didn’t blink at giving her a raise when it was pointed out her current position paid better than the Register.

Her mother gave her two weeks notice that day (Wednesday, apparently), so it will still be a couple weeks until she’s back home for good, but Toni’s assured that the time will fly by.

And in the meantime, she’ll be looking for a new place for them to move into, so they can _get the Hell out of this trailer_.

Toni almost cries at that admission, which puts her on the receiving end of a few questions too, and her answers - the things she’s been shielding and protecting the older woman from knowing for the past two years - make her mother _actually_ cry.

“Oh, bug,” the woman sighs sadly as she pulls her daughter into a tight hug that Toni’s needed for so long. “You should have told me.”

Toni knows maybe she should have, but if she had, Toni wouldn’t have Sweet Pea and Fangs and Jughead and the Serpents.

She wouldn’t have Cheryl.

So as much of a relief as it is to tell her now, it might be the only thing Toni’s ever been glad she didn’t say sooner.

The big question doesn’t come until after dinner, when they’re back in the trailer and settled on the couch that got Toni so many answers just a week ago.

It could feel like déjà vu, but it doesn’t; so much has changed since then for any of it to feel the same.

“Did you know why Alice fired you?” Toni asks her mother with no preamble.

It isn’t until the words are out that she realizes it could seem like she’s asking her mother for the reason, but somehow, the woman just knows what she means.

She nods. “I didn’t know for sure,” she admits, fingers playing with the ends of Toni’s hair. She’s always liked the pink, and not just because she takes credit for the idea all those years ago. “But Alice Cooper isn’t exactly a subtle woman, and I didn’t have to be an investigative reporter to read her well enough to know there was something else going on.” Toni thinks back to that afternoon at the Cooper house and silently agrees. “I didn’t know what Penelope had on her at the time, but I knew she was behind it.”

And if Toni was really thinking about it, that should have been enough to tip her off to the fact that there’s more to the story - why else would her mother think Penelope had beef with her? - but she’s only thinking of one thing.

“I’m sorry, Ma,” she apologizes quietly, brown eyes saying the same thing.

But her mother tilts her head, brows furrowed. “For what?”

“It’s my fault you lost your job,” Toni elaborates, cringing at the truth she has to spell out.

“What?” the woman laughs, shaking her head and nudging her daughter’s knee. “No, bug, it’s not at all.”

“It is,” the teen insists painfully, not wanting to be let off the hook. “Penelope wanted me out of Cheryl’s life, that’s why she drove you out of the Northside, to get me away from her, too.”

While it’s a truth she’s only had confirmed for a little over a week, Toni thinks it’s one she’s always suspected deep down. Coincidences happen, but not in Riverdale - not that big, anyways.

And when things fell apart two years ago, it _all_ fell apart at once, and that couldn’t have been a coincidence.

She questioned it then, even if she didn’t want to admit it, and she_ knows_ it now.

Her mother suffered because she loved Cheryl, and Cheryl suffered because she loved her back, and yet still, Toni wouldn’t change it if she could.

So maybe _that’s_ what she’s really apologizing for.

“Oh, honey, is that really what you think?” her mother asks gently, shifting closer to run a soothing hand over the back of her hair. “Baby, there’s so much more to the story than that.”

_Things in life are hardly ever as simple as they seem_, she’s always said, but Toni can’t see beyond her role this time.

And if her mother knew the whole story, she wouldn’t be able to, either.

“She, she knew me and Cheryl were… together,” the pink haired girl explains, and while this isn’t at all how she wanted to tell her mother about them, she needs to see the full picture. “And she _hated_ it, Ma. You don’t understand.”

“Baby, I _understand_,” the woman replies gently and pointedly, and with a tiny smile. “Of course I understand; do you really think I didn’t know what was going on with you two?”

Toni’s always suspected her mother knew more than she let on, so she’s not sure why she’s so surprised she’d know this too, but she is.

“You did?” she almost gasps, her emotions running so high that her very intelligent mother picking up on her relationship with Cheryl feels more shocking than oblivious boys Sweet Pea and Fangs doing it. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Her mother’s smile grows as she leans forward to press a kiss to the side of her head. “Because that was something for _you_ to say first.”

The words make her think of that day a little over a year ago, when she came out to her mother while sitting on this very couch.

She didn’t mention Cheryl at the time, because no matter how intertwined it feels some days, Toni’s sexuality doesn’t begin or end with anyone but herself.

Her tearful confession was received with a tight hug and a kiss, and even then, Toni knew how lucky she was that her mother is who and how she is, because not everyone’s would be.

Not everyone’s _is_.

“Yeah, well, Penelope knew, too,” she spits out bitterly, the memories of her mother’s support reminding her that Cheryl’s wasn't anywhere near as kind. “And she sent Cheryl to conversion therapy to keep us apart.”

Toni doesn’t mean to say it - at least not so bluntly - even though Cheryl gave her the go ahead to do so, and the way her mother’s entire face falls at the news makes her wish she’d delivered the blow a little more softly.

Though, honestly, she’s not entirely sure that’s even possible; she remembers with painful clarity how much that gut punch hurts, and landing it a little to the left wouldn’t have made a difference.

“Oh God,” the older woman mutters, her face stricken with horror. “That poor baby.”

It both hurts and warms Toni’s heart to see her mother so upset for Cheryl, but she tries to choke down her own emotions as she continues on.

“She didn’t go to camp that summer,” she explains, as if it’s a story she’s known and told for years. “She was at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, going through God knows what, and that’s why she pushed me away. And for good measure, Penelope sent me to the Southside so that I’d stay away. You lost your job because of us, because of _me_.”

And yet still, her mother shakes her head.

“Baby, that’s beyond awful, and I’m going to give that girl the biggest hug the next time I see her, okay?” she responds softly, wiping at Toni’s cheeks, even though no tears have actually fallen yet. “But I promise you, bug, it’s not your fault.” The teen tries to protest once again, but she’s easily silenced. “I wish I could say I was surprised that woman would do something like that to her daughter, but I’m not. Because I know all about what kind of _mother_ she is, and _that’s_ why she got me fired.”

She’s telling her something important here, but Toni doesn’t understand what exactly it is.

Her own brows furrowed this time, in that way that makes her look so much like the woman sitting beside her, Toni asks, “What do you mean?”

“A couple months before that summer, Cheryl came to me one night when she was sleeping over,” her mother begins to explain after a beat. “Things were getting really bad with her parents - Penelope in particular - and she opened up to me about the way they treated her. About their abuse.”

Toni doesn’t know why she’s never thought of how Cheryl’s parents treated her like that, because that’s exactly what it is and has always been: abuse.

It’s a big word, one not to be thrown around lightly, but no other word does it justice - except maybe torture.

“I-I didn’t know that,” Toni admits, her mind racing as she thinks back on those sleepovers, and wonders which one it might have been.

Was Cheryl really in that much pain one night and she hadn’t noticed?

“She didn’t want you to,” her mother reminds her, as if thinking about how well Cheryl hides her pain is going to make Toni feel better. “She’s always loved you so much, bug, but there’s some things that you go to an adult about.”

Toni knows she’s right, because there’s nothing her thirteen year old self could have done to help her, not when her sixteen year old self is still just as useless.

“And she trusted you,” the pink haired girl sighs, and though it’s bittersweetly, her heart still warms the way it always does at how close the two people she loves the most are.

That’s no small thing.

“I guess so, yeah.” Her mother finally smiles again, though only just a little, because she knows how much that means, too. “I confronted Penelope about it the next chance I got,” she continues her story, and even though Toni knows how it ends, she listens carefully. “I knew there was a big chance she’d come after me for it and I realize now, with years to cool down, that it was a very dangerous thing for me to do - who knows what kind of harm my temper could have caused Cheryl - but after listening to that little girl cry in my arms, I couldn’t not do anything.”

Her mother’s always loved Cheryl like she was her own, of course she couldn’t.

Toni remembers Cheryl saying having her mother fired felt personal, but she wonders if she had any idea. It would have been so long after that night when she found out about it all, the dots probably wouldn’t have connected too obviously.

“Wow,” is all Toni can say. “I had no idea.”

“I got fired later that week,” her mother concludes with a shrug, as if to say _what’s done is done_. “And I spent the next couple of months trying to get another job, but she’d made it impossible. So by summer, I packed us up and moved us back here.”

The rest of it, Toni already knows.

“Do you regret it?” she asks her mother the same thing she’s already asked herself.

And she gets the same answer, too.

“Not for a second,” the woman answers without hesitation and a smile that’s pulling wider. “I hate that it took me away from you, and you away from Cheryl, but I’ll never regret trying to protect one of my girls.” Toni’s heart warms even more, three times over. “I just wish I could have helped her.”

“Me too,” Toni exhales as she slumps against her mother.

_And maybe you still can_, she thinks, a plan already forming in her head.

But that’s a conversation for another night.

Toni waits until she’s in bed to talk to Cheryl, and even then, it’s just through text.

She has a lot to say, but almost all of it should be face to face, and her fingers have more self control than her voice does.

_Talked to my mom_, she types, hoping the other girl is still up. _I think it went pretty well, all things considered._

It takes a little over a minute, but eventually a grey bubble pops up. _That’s so good to hear, my love!_

_I’ll tell you all about it later, _Toni promises before Cheryl can ask for details. _How’d things go on your end?_

She has faith Cheryl will follow through with her plan to come out to Josie, but Toni knows how hard it can be that first time, no matter who it is you’re telling, so she’ll understand if Cheryl hasn’t done it yet.

_Still in progress_, Cheryl admits, and even though there isn’t an accompanying emoji to spell out her tone, Toni feels like she can guess.

_Take your time, babe, you’ve got all weekend_, she assures her, wishing she could give her a kiss.

Telling dots appear and disappear a few times, before; _I know, I’m just a bit more nervous than I anticipated being. It’s just Josie, and so many other people already know, and yet…_

_It doesn’t make it easier_, Toni finishes for her knowingly. _Take all the time you need, there’s no timeline for coming out._

She gets a series of red hearts as a reply, and then one last message wishing her sweet dreams.

(Like most nights, Toni dreams of Cheryl - of being free and being together - and they’re indeed very sweet.)

The next day starts bright and early, and it’s spent house hunting.

Toni had no idea there were so many houses for sale on the Southside, but she guesses it makes sense, with whatever gentrification bullshit Hiram Lodge is planning.

Every house they see is half the size of their old place on the Northside, but twice the size of the trailer, so it’s a happy medium.

“Every place we’ve seen so far only has two bedrooms,” Toni mentions when they stop for lunch at a local fast food place after seeing their fifth house of the day.

Their real estate agent is sitting out in her car on calls, and it’s the first chance Toni’s gotten to bring up the topic she’s been thinking about since last night. Or last Saturday, really.

“How many bedrooms do you think we need?” her mother asks with a laugh, taking a sip of her iced tea.

“One for you, one for me, one for Cheryl,” Toni answers like it’s obvious, as she unwraps her burger. “I mean, she could share with me, but she might want her own space.”

Her mother raises an eyebrow, still looking amused. “Since when is your girlfriend moving in with us?”

Toni’s attempt to sound casual goes down the drain when she almost chokes on her food at the easy use of _that _word, and she tries her best to recover.

“Not my girlfriend, yet, technically,” she corrects awkwardly, wiping her mouth with a napkin as she works up the nerve to just say what she wants to. “But, uh, this was kinda my way of asking you?”

Her mother looks at her for a moment from across the table, as if trying to gauge how serious she’s being, and she must be able to tell that it’s _very_, because she sighs, long and sad.

“Annie…”

“No, don’t _Annie_ me,” Toni cuts her off before she can even shut her idea down. She knows that face and that voice, and she won’t just sit here and be told _no_ \- not about this. “You said it yourself last night, you _know _what kind of monster Penelope is and what she’s capable of. You can’t expect me to just be okay with my best friend living with the woman that sent her to fucking conversion therapy!” Realizing she’s getting worked up and that they’re in public, Toni brings it down a couple notches for the finish. “You might be okay with that, but I’m not.”

Well, she brings the volume down, the anger and pettiness is still there, and it’s enough to light her mother’s fuse, too.

“Don’t you dare insinuate that I don’t love that girl like she’s my own,” the woman counters sternly, eyes blazing at the mere suggestion. “I just spent two years away from you because I care about that girl so damn much, so you better watch your tone. And your language, I’m not one of your little friends.”

Toni immediately feels like shit for taking her anger at Penelope and the entire situation out on her mother, because she’s just about the last person that deserves it. Or her disrespect.

It’s not _her _mother that doesn’t love Cheryl, after all.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” the pinked hair girl sighs and slumps back in defeat, her quick flare up of rage vanishing as suddenly as it came, and leaving her feeling nothing but helpless again. “I just, I can’t do nothing, Ma. I love her _so_ much.”

She thought that out of everyone, her mother would understand that.

“I know you do, bug,” she whispers sadly, softening as much as her daughter. She reaches out to cover her hand with her own. “And you know I want to keep her safe too, but it’s not that simple. Cheryl can’t just move in with us, Penelope would never allow it.”

Toni knows she’s right, despite Cheryl’s insistence that she doesn’t care as much anymore. “But what if she didn’t have a choice?”

“What do you mean?”

“Cheryl gets emancipated,” Toni is eager to explain, her lunch all but forgotten by now. “If she legally separates herself from Penelope, that bitch has no power over her anymore.”

Her mother looks torn between intrigued and wanting to let her down gently, but the teen tries not to snap prematurely again.

She understands that things aren’t simple and just because she wants this so badly, doesn’t mean she can make it happen, but it does mean she’s going to try her hardest, with or without her mother’s help.

It would just be so much easier with it.

“That’s a long process,” she finally says, clearly choosing her words carefully. “And the court doesn’t always rule in the minor’s favor.”

Toni scoffs at the very idea. “After everything Penelope’s done to her, what judge wouldn’t?”

“One she blackmails, threatens or pays off,” her mother reminds her of the obvious, pointing to herself as a prime example. “The Blossoms may have fallen from grace, but you should never underestimate that woman and what kind of tricks she could still have up her sleeve.”

Again, Toni knows her mother is right, and as frustrating as her logical arguments may be, they’re helping her to form a more solid and realistic plan with what - and more importantly, who - she’s got to work with.

“Then we get her to agree not to fight it,” Toni decides, moving pieces around in her head as she finally picks up her burger.

Her simple declaration earns her another arched eyebrow from the woman sitting across from her. “And how do you propose we do that?”

Toni smirks at the question, her mother’s _we_ confirming that she already has the second most important piece on board.

“We take a play out of her own playbook,” she declares before taking a big bite, ready for whatever kind of war Penelope might try to wage.

It takes a moment, but eventually her mother raises her plastic cup and cheers to that.

The second half of the day isn’t much more successful than the first had been, but their real estate lady remains optimistic.

“Not many people find their dream house on the first day,” she assures them with a fake smile, not even looking at them as she taps away on her phone. “I’ll have plenty more to show you next time.”

“Actually, Karen,” her mother replies pointedly, waiting until the blonde tears her gaze away from the device in hand. “Do you have any three bedroom homes you can show us?”

Karen’s brows knit together and Toni’s heart grows four sizes as it’s filled with hope.

“Three?” the real estate agent repeats in confusion, glancing down at her notes to see if she’s been mistakenly showing them the wrong houses all day. “I thought it was just you and your daughter.”

“For now,” her mother shrugs, sending Toni a smile. “But we’re hoping my other one will be able to join us, too.”

(Correction: four _hundred_ sizes.)

Toni gets to talk to her girl on the phone that night, and she only asks about _her_ day.

Cheryl said she’d think about it last time they spoke of it, and telling her of the new developments before she brings it up feels too much like pushing.

So, after taking a moment to relish in the sound of Cheryl’s voice and ridiculous way of speaking after going a full 24 hours without it, Toni asks her if she made any progress on the coming out front.

And, as it turns out, she did.

“I just sort of blurted it out,” Cheryl admits with an embarrassed laugh. “I hadn’t been thinking of anything else since I woke up, and all it took was for Josie to mention your name, and it all just spilled out.”

Toni smiles even though the redhead can’t see her, a mix of endeared and proud. “And how did she take it?” she asks, even though she’s already pretty confident in the answer. Josie hardly flinched when she found out _she _was bi, after all.

“Perfectly, of course,” the other girl sighs. “Just as I knew she would. It wasn’t so much her reaction that I had been fearful of, but just actually saying it out loud.”

“The first time is usually the hardest,” Toni agrees, remembering her own worry before coming out to her mother, despite knowing the woman would support her no matter what. “But you feel better now, right?”

She hears Cheryl exhale long and hard, and Toni swears she can hear her smile, too. “Yeah,” she breathes out with another laugh, but this time, it’s lighter and more airy. “I feel… freer, somehow. As if I can be myself around Josie now, even though nothing about my behavior has actually changed since.”

“You feel closer to her,” the Serpent suggests. “‘Cause you don’t feel like you’re hiding this big part of yourself anymore.”

“I suppose so, yes,” Cheryl agrees after taking a moment to consider it. “Of course, she wasn’t entirely shocked, at least not about my relationship with you. I do think she was a little surprised when I said I was a lesbian, though. She must have thought I was bisexual like you.”

Her words give Toni pause for a moment, since she thinks that’s the first time she’s actually heard Cheryl say the word, or even confirm her truth.

Toni’s spent so much time wondering about Cheryl’s relationship with her sexuality the last couple years, but she doesn’t remember if she’s ever actually thought about _what_ it is, beyond maybe questioning if Cheryl even knew.

And now she knows; Cheryl’s a lesbian.

“Well, I’m happy for you, Bombshell,” Toni tells her through a wide grin, her eyes drifting over to that polaroid picture of them as kids pinned to her wall - that first one she took of them on the first camera she ever owned; the one Cheryl gave her before leaving for camp as an early birthday present. She’d given the picture back to her before she left for camp the next summer, telling Toni that she needed it more. Oh, how far they’ve come. “And I’m_ so_ proud of you.”

Cheryl must be able to feel her sincerity and emotions through the line, because she lets the words sit for a few heavy moments before she breaks them.

“And you love me,” she teases lightly, but there’s a sweetness and sureness in her words that easily reach Toni, too.

She nods to herself, gaze now drifting down to the pink threaded bracelet around her wrist, that feels more like a tether most days.

“And I love you,” Toni confirms, soft but steady, and without an ounce of doubt.

Toni’s woken up by the sounds of arguing the next morning, and it takes a good half a minute for enough of her senses to come back to recognize the muffled voice her mother is fighting with.

Even standing by the door, she can’t hear what her uncle is saying, but judging by the tone of her mother’s voice as she tells him to “stay the hell away from my kid” and threatens to sic the Serpent King on him if he comes back before they’ve moved out, Jake’s being his usual charming self.

They go back and forth for another couple of minutes until the door finally slams and Toni hears her mother let out a growl of frustration to herself.

“What was that about?” the teen asks as she finally steps out of her room.

Her mother looks up and it’s like the sight of her makes all of her annoyance disappear instantly, as her frown turns into a grin. “Nothing you need to worry about,” she assures her daughter, shaking off the last remnants of the encounter as her smile grows. “_Ever _again.”

And if Toni didn’t already know she has the best mom ever, she’d certainly know it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter left, for real this time, I swear. It's already written, so I can actually say that with confidence for once. I hope you're not disappointed that this is only the first part of the big finale, but the next part will be coming soon. 
> 
> Anyways, again, thanks to everyone that has stuck with me for this long and is still reading, and has enjoyed it enough to leave feedback (such a big motivator!) and send me questions about it. And of course to everyone for being so patient. I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter and maybe what you're expecting for the last one. Until then, you can find me on Tumblr (cherbombshells) or Twitter (mylittlefaith).


	10. You Have Everything Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i) We have finally reached the end, after many false claims! There is no epilogue, just this.  
ii) Again, thank you so much to everyone that has stuck with this story and left feedback, you're amazing.  
iii) I hope this last chapter leaves you satisfied and ties up any loose threads that still needed to be dealt with.  
iv) There's a very tame and vague sex scene. It's the first one I've ever written, so it's extremely vanilla, but I wanted to try.  
v) Lastly, huge thanks to Ikea, Dee, and anyone else that has read over my chapters and helped me out before posting.

After a long and very productive weekend, Toni welcomes Monday with a smile.

Mostly because she gets to see Cheryl again, but also because it really is hard to be anything but excited after all of the weekend’s recent developments - and the ones the weekend before that, too.

Everything is finally looking up, and while she’d be lying if she said there’s not a small part of her waiting for the other shoe to drop, she’s choosing to be optimistic.

Besides, that shoe already dropped over two years ago, they’re all just finally learning to walk again.

Toni catches a ride to school on the back of Sweet Pea’s bike, after waking up to a text from Cheryl requesting her to leave hers at home today, because she’s made plans for them after school.

She has no idea what those plans could be, but who is she to say no to that?

(_Someone who’s whipped_, according to Sweet Pea when she asks him for said ride, but she’s not a dumb, macho dude, so the comment doesn’t bother her.

Also, _duh_.)

Her mood is lifted even further when they arrive to find Cheryl waiting for her in the parking lot, with a coffee in hand for her. Josie is there too, but Toni’s only got eyes for one girl.

“Hey, hot stuff,” she wolf whistles as she dismounts Sweet Pea’s bike and removes her helmet, effortlessly shaking her pink hair out like she’s in a shampoo commercial.

Cheryl grins and steps closer. “Hey, you.”

“I was talkin’ to the coffee, but hello to you too, Bombshell,” Toni teases as she takes the offered cup and the kiss Cheryl presses to her cheek. “It’s really good to see your face.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” the redhead replies cheekily, but the big cheesy grin stretching her mouth wide kind of ruins her attempt at appearing blase.

They’re pretty much just smiling dumbly at each other now, so Toni can’t blame Josie when she clears her throat to interrupt their moment.

“Not that y’all aren’t adorable, but I’m also here,” she huffs from behind them in faux annoyance, waving her hand to get their attention.

Toni breathes out a laugh at her own lameness, but still takes a few seconds to tear her gaze away from Cheryl to look at the girl standing behind her. “Hey, Josie,” she greets pointedly.

“Yeah, uh, hey, Josie,” Sweet Pea awkwardly adds as he joins them, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

Cheryl and Toni share a surprised look, one that Josie gives voice to when she replies to him just as awkwardly, but with a tinge of hope. “H-Hey, Sweet Pea.”

It’s just a small thing, but they all know what it means; Sweet Pea is finally ready to let it all go, and there’s nothing small about that.

Which makes the long beats of silence that follow awkward too, until Cheryl breaks it.

“Well, now that everyone has greeted everyone-,” she begins with a drawl, side stepping that whole moment.

“Some more adorably than others,” Toni adds in cutely.

“-shall we enter the fray?” Cheryl finishes with a smile, looking only at the pink haired girl in front of her, who nods and laces the fingers of their free hands together.

But it’s Sweet Pea who answers, “Only if you’re gonna buy me _my_ coffee, Red.”

And Cheryl actually agrees without protest as the four teens head into the school.

The day goes by without much incident, as all beef within the group has now officially been squashed - well, Toni’s not sure where Veronica/Archie and Veronica/Josie stand at the moment, but they’re not really inner circle, so they don’t count - and it seems that she and Cheryl have silently agreed to wait until later to discuss their weekends.

Which means when Cheryl drives them out of the parking lot in her fancy old Impala convertible and towards Sweetwater River, Toni has a pretty good idea of what they’ll be doing when they get there.

“You sure you’re okay to be here?” Toni asks gently when the other girl parks, but doesn’t make a move to exit the car.

Cheryl was quiet the whole ride over, her right hand clasped tightly around Toni’s, and now that they’re here, the silence feels heavier.

But after a moment, she seems to shake it off, and turns to the Serpent with a smile that looks like it wants to be a frown. “I’m okay, T.T.,” she assures her, even though she’s still gathering her strength. “Join me for a walk?”

“Of course,” Toni agrees without hesitation, lifting Cheryl’s hand to her lips for a kiss before she lets her go.

Their hands find each other with ease as they walk along the shore of the river, the sun reflecting off the water and the spring breeze making them thankful that they brought jackets with them.

Toni can only imagine what’s going on in that pretty head of Cheryl’s, considering all that’s happened here, but she doesn’t ask. Instead, she breaks the silence to break the ice first.

“So you were right,” she puts out there, the corners of her mouth pulling up because she can already hear Cheryl’s reply in her head.

“I usually am,” the taller girl says with an endearing smugness, just as predicted. “But what, pray tell, was I right about this time?”

“Your mom, and why she got mine fired,” Toni answers, swinging their hands between them and sneaking a glance at the other girl. “Turns out it wasn’t really because of me - or _us_ \- after all.”

Cheryl doesn’t seem fazed, only intrigued. “Mhm, not surprising,” she hums and kinda scoffs, eyes probably rolling up to the sky. “What _was_ Mumsie’s evil motive then?”

Toni hesitates to answer, not exactly eager to bring up the topic; she doesn’t want to possibly trigger the other girl, nor does she want her blaming herself or thinking she’s digging for anything, either.

But after going through a couple quick options in her head, Toni comes to the conclusion that the only way to answer is truthfully.

“Apparently my mom confronted her,” she reluctantly begins, trying to find the best way to say the rest of it, and eventually settles on, “About, uh, some things you confided in her one night?”

Cheryl’s brows knit together as she combs her memory for what she might be referring to, and recognition flashes across her face soon after, and then it falls.

“Oh,” she says quietly, hand going limp in Toni’s for a second before the pink haired girl squeezes it reassuringly, not letting her pull away. “About…?”

She can’t say it, or at least doesn’t want to, and she doesn’t have to.

“Yeah,” Toni confirms just as softly. “Shockingly, Penelope didn’t take too kindly to that and decided ruining her life was appropriate retaliation.”

Toni means for it to lighten the mood, but Cheryl’s face falls further and looks more stricken. “So it was because of _me_?”

“_No_,” the Serpent says firmly, leaving no room for argument. She tugs on the pale hand in hers and pulls them to stop; she wants to make sure Cheryl hears this next part, because she knows that feeling of guilt well. “It was because my mom loves you so much.”

“You don’t blame me?” Cheryl questions, suddenly looking even smaller than she sounds.

Toni shakes her head. “Not even a little bit, and neither does my mom,” she promises her, reaching up to smooth out the furrow between Cheryl’s eyebrows. “You know I would’ve done the same thing, thirteen years old or not.”

“I know,” the red haired girl pouts, fighting a fond smile at the image of a tinier Toni confronting Penelope, no doubt. “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“Yeah, I figured,” she allows with a shrug, not particularly salty about that. She wishes she could have helped Cheryl back then, even just by listening, but she gets it, too. “Probably for the best, might’ve got myself expelled from junior high or something.”

She jokes to keep it light, because she doesn’t want Cheryl to feel any more of the weight of this topic and memory than she has to, but part of Toni has to fight the urge to assure her that she could have told Toni back then, too.

There’s no point, though - they can’t change the past, none of them can; what matters is that she knows it now; that they both know _everything_ now.

“Surely that would have scored you some points with your gang, though,” Cheryl points out teasingly, tugging the shorter girl along as she starts her way down the shore again. “Come on then, I have my own weekend revelations to share.”

Toni’s not sure where they’re going, but she’ll follow Cheryl anywhere.

They end up perched on a rock down the river and as Toni settles into place, she wonders, briefly, if this is where Dilton Doiley found Cheryl the day Jason disappeared.

She doesn’t ask, of course, just waits patiently by Cheryl’s side, as she takes the time she needs to gather her thoughts.

Toni knows how hard it was for Cheryl to come out, and while she’s already heard some of the details of how it went down, she’s sure there’s a plethora of things the other girl still wants to tell her.

Except when Cheryl finally starts talking, it’s not about that at all.

“I spoke to Josie and Mayor McCoy about what we discussed the other night,” she eventually begins.

It takes Toni a second to catch up from her false start. “About getting you emancipated?”

Cheryl nods. “I’d thought about it a lot since our talk, and after telling Josie about where my mother sent me, we got to talking more about the abuse I’ve suffered at her hands, and it would appear great minds think alike, because she too expressed a rather passionate desire to free me of her grasp.”

Toni had on idea that Cheryl had shared that much with Josie this weekend, but she’s glad; it’s good for Cheryl to talk about it instead of bottling it up, so that maybe she can finally start to heal from it.

And the more people that know the true evil Penelope Blossom is capable of, the better.

“Great minds indeed,” Toni agrees, reaching over to rub Cheryl’s leg. “That, and we both love you.”

“In very different ways,” Cheryl manages to joke with a tiny smile. “I told Josie about my small crush on her, and while she was flattered, she let me down gently. Though she did say that if she swung my way, maybe we could’ve had something.” She rolls her eyes slightly, fondly, and laughs a little at herself. “I told her not to worry, that I was very much over her and already taken, anyhow.”

A jolt of something shoots straight to Toni’s heart at those words, that familiar fluttery feeling that only Cheryl has ever given her starting up in her belly.

_Taken_.

It’s not quite the label Toni’s been waiting for, but it’s pretty damn close, and she’ll take it - no pun intended.

She tries to play it cool, though, because this conversation isn’t about that. “Well, _duh_,” Toni grins, giving Cheryl’s leg a shake. “Nobody loves you like I do, Bombshell.”

Cheryl’s fond eye roll makes a reappearance, but her pale skin and the bright sun makes the pink in her cheeks easy to spot. “I love you too, sweet talker,” she chuckles, looking extra beautiful as she shakes her hair out in the breeze. “As I was saying before that little aside, Josie was enthusiastically in support of the idea, and I allowed her to ask her mother’s professional opinion.”

“And?” Toni asks, teasing long forgotten as she sits on the edge of her metaphorical seat.

So much has been going well lately, almost_ too_ much; she just hopes this, the most important thing, isn’t the other shoe.

“She seems to think it’s not only doable, but a good option for me,” Cheryl reveals, and the instant relief Toni feels is almost overwhelming.

“Really?” she asks breathlessly, because she can’t quite believe it. “So you’re gonna do it then?”

But Cheryl winces and makes a face that has Toni bracing for a _but_. “I want to try,” the redhead confirms carefully, tugging on the arm of her light jacket. “But she admitted it’s not a sure thing, and that my mother might make it very difficult. Which, of course, I was already all too well aware of.”

So basically pretty much what Toni’s mother had said; it’s a good thing Toni already knows just how they’ll deal with that then.

“Don’t worry about that,” Toni assures her, moving her hand up Cheryl’s thigh and around her waist, pulling her closer. “I already talked to my mom and we have it all worked out.” She presses a kiss to soft red hair and rubs her hand up and down Cheryl’s arm. “So if you really want to get away from her, just say the word and we’ll make it happen.” She holds up her pinky, her tight pink bracelet staying firmly in place, and waits until another one is curled around it. “I promise.”

She feels the other girl inhale heavily more than she hears it, and Toni tries not to tense up too much as she waits to hear what Cheryl wants.

“I want to be free,” she finally says, softly but completely sure. She pulls away just enough to be able to look at Toni when she says it again. “And I want to be with you.”

Toni’s eyes sparkle, or maybe water, and she seals her promise with a kiss.

As Cheryl drives them home to the Southside, Toni fills her in on the rest of her weekend with her mother.

She tells her about Alice’s trip to Centerville, her job offer and what that means; Cheryl is overjoyed and gushing, and if she wasn’t behind the wheel, Toni’s convinced she would have jumped into her arms the same way she had when she heard the news herself.

Then Toni tells her all about the plan she’s organizing to combat Penelope’s Blossom-ness, house hunting and the third bedroom.

“If you want it,” she’s quick to add, just in case she’s being presumptuous.

But when Cheryl pulls the car over because she’s crying and tugs Toni into a tight hug, she knows she isn’t.

Cheryl calls Josie when they get back to the trailer to ask her to talk to her mom about drawing up the papers as soon as she can, while Toni calls her own mother to tell her of the latest developments.

It’s fast, but there’s really no reason to wait.

They’re already more than two years too late - sixteen, if you ask Toni - and she doesn’t want to put it off for another second.

But after talking it all out, with both Mayor McCoy and her mother, it’s decided that they’re going to have to, for at least a week.

Sierra has to make sure she has all the paperwork ready, so that all Penelope has to do is sign it, and Toni needs time to get the other players onboard, anyways.

They’re taking on a Blossom, they might only get one shot at this, so they can’t fuck it up.

Toni won’t let them.

*

The week goes by fast at least, but things fall into place even faster.

Mayor McCoy gets the papers drawn up by Wednesday and Toni gets her mother to speak to Alice, which leaves her with the job of recruiting F.P..

It’s not a conversation she’s looking forward to having, considering she has no desire to talk to him about anything that isn’t necessary, but since that’s what this is, she sucks it up.

The hard part is already done, after all, since he’s already agreed to help, she just has to tell him what exactly he’s going to be helping with.

“You need me to threaten a Blossom?” he repeats after she’s told him, eyebrows raised as his beer bottle stays paused half way between the table and his mouth.

Toni shrugs and then nods, not sure how to gauge his reaction. “Pretty much.”

F.P. lets out a laugh as he shakes his head in amusement, taking a big swig to finish off his drink before he tips the neck in the teen’s direction.

“Sounds like my kinda fun, kid,” he smirks, eyes dancing with something dark that might worry Toni if she didn’t know it was directed at exactly the right person. “Just tell me the time and place, and I’m there.”

Well, that was easier than she was expecting.

Maybe F.P.’s not _completely_ irredeemable to her, after all.

As easy as F.P. was to get on board, their friends might be even easier.

Cheryl isn’t sure she wants to ask them at first, because asking them and having them there means telling them everything, but as she looks around the small group gathered around the fire pit Thursday night, she must realize she can trust them, because that’s exactly what she does.

Toni holds her close the entire time, rubbing a soothing hand over her back - under the Serpent jacket she draped over her shoulders an hour ago - and offering some details and her side of things when Cheryl can’t.

When she’s done, Sweet Pea looks like he wants to march over to the Northside and give Penelope the beat down he wasn’t able to give Nick, but of course he doesn’t.

Instead, he just walks over Cheryl, pulls her up out of Toni’s arms and gathers her into his own.

“Of course we’ll be there, Red,” he tells her softly, hugging her tight. And when he pulls away, he looks over at Jughead and Fangs expectantly, who look like they want to hug Cheryl, too. “Right, guys?”

It’s Jughead who stands first, pulling his beanie off his head as he moves closer and lays a comforting hand on the two headed snake adorning Cheryl’s borrowed jacket.

“We got your back,” he promises her, glancing back at Fangs, who has followed him over. “No Serpent stands alone,” Jughead tells her with a kind smile. “And you’re pretty much an honorary one at this point.”

“Plus, we take care of each other’s families,” Fangs interjects, stepping up to the huddle. “And you’re basically Tiny’s, so. I guess that makes us your brothers, too.”

Cheryl practically starts sobbing on the spot, and Toni’s never loved those big, dumb idiots more than in this moment, when they all crowd around her for a group hug.

And as Toni pushes herself to her feet to join them, she thinks of Jason, and hopes he’s proud.

With everything in place for the weekend with a day to spare, Cheryl and Toni try to relax and think of anything else.

Which turns out, actually isn’t as hard as one would expect.

At least not when they have a trailer to themselves - Cheryl’s been staying there all week, under the assumption that her mother probably thinks she’s still at Josie’s, if she even cares at all - and years of conversations (and making out) to catch up on.

And that Friday afternoon, with a few hours to kill before Toni’s mother gets home, they end up doing both.

Because as kisses intensify and hands wander to places they haven’t been before, Toni can’t help but remember that game of Never Have I Ever, where Cheryl, bound by the laws of drinking games, revealed that she was still a virgin.

Something Toni’s been meaning to talk to her about, but hasn’t, because they didn’t talk about anything for a long while, and more important things lately.

But as warm, delicate fingers find their way underneath her shirt and trace the line of her spine, all the way down to the dip of her lower back and tease the hem of her jeans, Toni thinks now might be the perfect time to have that conversation.

“Mhm, this is nice,” she mumbles against Cheryl’s mouth as she slowly pulls away, keeping her own hands on the other girl’s hips.

Cheryl’s eyes flutter open, a darker brown than normal, and she hums her agreement, reaching forward for one more kiss before resting her head on the pillow they’re currently sharing.

“Very,” she agrees dreamily, her lips bare and a little more puffy than usual.

Toni takes a few moments to admire the view, moving one of her hands up to brush strains of red hair behind her ear as she sighs happily.

“Have you done this before?” Toni wonders softly, hand cupping Cheryl’s flushed cheek.

She knows the answer already, of course, but it’s not information the other girl really gave her all too willingly, and somehow, asking feels better than simply stating it.

“Made out with you?” Cheryl grins lazily, pulling the Serpent closer. “Once or twice.”

Toni laughs and shakes her head, but certainly doesn’t fight the pull. “You know what I mean,” she mumbles before kissing Cheryl again, just once. “Have you had sex before?”

“Is that where you thought this was going?” Cheryl questions, raising a single eyebrow.

And it takes Toni a second too long to realize she’s teasing, because she quickly says, “No, of course not,” before Cheryl’s smile returns. “Ugh, just answer the question, you’re so annoying.”

She’s so close that she feels Cheryl’s breathy laugh against her face, and it makes her own lips tug up as Cheryl finally confirms what she already knew.

“No, I haven’t,” she answers simply, not sounding shy or embarrassed at all, like Toni kind of expected. And when she follows it up with a question of her own, she asks it just as neutrally. “Have you?”

Toni brushes a thumb over Cheryl’s bottom lip and nods. “Once,” she admits, and as she does, she wishes she hadn’t, but doesn’t necessarily regret it, either.

Now that they’re here, and together, of course Toni wishes that they could both have their first times with each other, but the boy she slept with was nice and treated her well, and it helped her figure out that she could be into boys, even if she wasn’t into _him_.

It was awkward and fumbly and fast; he wasn’t a boyfriend, and barely even a friend, but it was okay, as far as first times go, and she only saw him around school after that.

She tells Cheryl as such, not because she has to explain, but because she wants to.

And the redhead isn’t angry or sad or jealous, just pecks her nose and then her lips, and asks, “So does that mean I’ll be your first time with a girl?”

Toni breath hitches, her heart beats against her ribcage, and she throbs all over as flashes of a future she never gave up on but didn’t quite believe could happen play behind her eyes.

She never consciously made that choice, she doesn’t think, because even though Cheryl wasn’t her first kiss, she was her first one that mattered, so why should sex - with a boy _or_ a girl - be any different?

But as she looks into Cheryl’s eyes and feels her nails scratching lightly against the small of her back, Toni considers the possibility that maybe she did.

Either way, it doesn’t change the answer.

“Yes,” she whispers against Cheryl’s lips before she starts kissing her again.

(It doesn’t happen that night, but _soon_ is agreed upon and promised, with mouths and tongues, if not words.)

They’re out in the living room by the time Toni’s mother gets home, and Cheryl’s up and off Toni’s lap before she’s even completely through the door.

“Whoa,” the older woman huffs out when she’s attacked with a hug, stumbling back a few steps from the force of it. “I wonder if this is what it’s like to have a dog,” she laughs as she wraps her arms around Cheryl before she pulls back to look up at her. “Hey, kiddo. What was that for?”

“For all that you’ve done for me,” the teen sighs, emotional and awed. “And what you’re going to do.” Cheryl shakes her head, looking between Toni and her mother like she can’t believe they exist, let alone that she’s lucky enough to have them love her. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you. When I get access to my inheritance-”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,” the taller woman shushes her, sounding and looking offended at the mere suggestion. Toni bites back a chuckle as she watches the interaction from the couch. “You don’t repay family for looking after you.”

Cheryl blushes demurely, chastised but touched. “Oh,” she mumbles, obviously having no concept of what a real family does or doesn’t do. And considering what the woman holding her is here to do tomorrow, it’s not exactly a mystery as to why.

Karla Topaz understands just as well as her daughter does, so she just gives Cheryl one more squeeze before lightly pushing her back in Toni’s direction. “Now go back to cuddling up with our girl over there, while I get dinner started.”

Not one to argue with the woman, Cheryl steps aside and watches her head towards the kitchen, before she makes her way back over to the living room.

“Hi to you too, Ma!” Toni calls out to the woman in faux offense, a routine all three of them know well.

She gets a, “Hey, baby!” that’s mostly drowned out by the clattering of dishes as a reply.

Shaking her head, Toni turns her focus back to the girl standing in front of her and pulls Cheryl back down onto her lap. “See?” she asks rhetorically, tucking her chin over the girl’s shoulder as she pulls her close. “I know it’s hard for you to believe, but people help you because they want to, not because they want something from you.” When Cheryl doesn’t respond, Toni drops a kiss against her shoulder blade. “You’re not alone anymore, Cher. You have friends and a family who love you and worry about you.”

Cheryl relaxes against her, dropping her head back and sighing in a way that’s both happy for what she has now and sad for how long she’s gone without it.

“I know,” she eventually says, turning to press her temple against Toni’s. “I know, it’s just been a long while since I’ve felt anything like it.”

Toni knows it to be true, as well as she knows she’s going to spend the rest of her life making sure Cheryl feels it every day. “Well, get used to it,” the pinked haired girl practically orders her again, adding another thing to the list, and Cheryl doesn’t argue.

She just sighs, this time only happily, and vows, “I think I can do that.”

And she’s not the only one, because as Toni nuzzles into Cheryl’s neck and hears her mother clamoring around in the kitchen, she knows she could certainly get used to this, too.

Saturday comes all too soon, and the calm they felt last night doesn’t hold through till morning.

Cheryl’s nerves are more obvious than Toni’s, because the Serpent is trying to keep it together for her best friend (maybe girlfriend), and she’s more rage than nerves, anyways.

This is going to be the first time she’s seeing Penelope in a year - since that day she wouldn’t let her into Jason’s funeral - and more than that, it’s Toni’s first time seeing her since learning the truth, and the full extent of her abuse.

Toni’s not sure she’ll be able to control herself when she gets there, but for Cheryl, she’ll try.

Because today is about her, not Toni. Today is about Cheryl finally standing up to her mother and never looking back.

This is a battle for Cheryl to fight - not alone, of course, not ever, but for herself; Toni will be there for backup, and so will a lot of other people who have parts to play, but Cheryl’s going to be the one leading the charge.

So though she’s nervous now, pacing the length of the living room and refusing any breakfast offered to her, Toni knows her girl will have the strength to do what she needs to when the time comes.

And if she doesn’t, Toni’s more than ready to lend her however much she needs.

“You girls ready?” Toni’s mother asks when the agreed upon time finally approaches and it’s time to go.

Cheryl takes a deep breath and Toni’s hand, only lets one go, and then nods resolutely. “I’m ready,” she states confidently, leaving no room for doubt.

Toni nods after her, squeezing her hand and following her to the door, where she finds Sweet Pea, Fangs, Jughead and F.P. ready and waiting for them.

The boys take their bikes, Toni’s mother takes her car, and Toni herself drives Cheryl’s Impala.

They’re going over with the mentality that it’s going to work, and they plan on getting as much of Cheryl’s stuff as they can fit in both cars so she doesn’t have to go back ever, if she doesn’t want to.

Toni holds Cheryl’s hand the whole ride over, the silence between them palpable, but not strained or awkward.

Motorcycles frame the car - F.P. and Jughead leading the way, while Fangs and Sweet Pea cover the rear - like they’re being escorted, and when they get to the corner Thistlehouse is located on, Betty, Alice, Josie and Mayor McCoy are already waiting for them.

After Toni reiterates the plan one more time, Sierra finally hands Cheryl the folder with the emancipation papers in them and they all follow the redhead to the gate.

Penelope is home and in the living room when they get inside, thanks to F.P.’s call earlier in the week to book an _appointment _with her for this afternoon.

And if looks could kill, the stone cold glare and pure disgust on her face when she sees her daughter flanked by Southside Serpents, among others, surely would have had them keeling over dead on the spot.

“_Cheryl_,” she hisses through clenched teeth as she stands, trying to mask her obvious surprise. “I haven’t seen you for a week, I was hoping you’d finally run away like I’ve wished you would have instead of that brother of yours.”

Toni feels Cheryl’s tense beside her, most likely at the mention of Jason more so than any nerves she might be feeling, but she tightens her hold on her hand to remind her that she’s here, either way.

“Oh, Mumsie,” Cheryl replies coolly, red painted lips twisting into a smirk. “Ironic you should say that, because I’m here for a reason.”

“Is that reason to desecrate my home with your loathsome company?” the woman hisses as her gaze takes in all the people behind Cheryl, before they settle on Toni and then down to their linked hand. Penelope scoffs. “And your perverse, deviant ways?”

There’s shuffling behind them, and if Toni had to guess, it’s Jughead holding Sweet Pea back, but she pays it no mind, her eyes not leaving the vile woman in front of her.

It takes all of her willpower not to respond to her snide comment, but this is Cheryl’s moment, and until she thinks she needs her, Toni plans on letting her handle it. And judging by the way Cheryl barely even flinches at her mother’s words, she doesn’t think she’ll have a problem.

“There is nothing perverse or deviant about my feelings for Toni,” Cheryl states strongly and confidently, without falter. “And my _company_ is anything but loathsome. If you weren’t so hateful and vicious, I wouldn’t have had to bring them here for this at all, so you only have yourself to blame.”

“For what?” Penelope snaps, face pulled tight. “What is the meaning of this?”

Reluctantly letting her hand go, Toni stays back as Cheryl steps forward and holds out the folder full of legal documents towards her mother.

“I want to be emancipated, Mummy,” she says simply, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

Penelope sneers and steps closer to Cheryl, half empty martini glass held up in her hand, as if she’s not at all bothered by this entire confrontation. “I have raised you with a silver spoon in that insolent mouth of yours, given you everything you could ever want for,” she argues delusionally. “And you dare to throw it back in my face like this?”

Toni feels a hand on her shoulder - her mother’s, probably - just as she’s getting ready to lunge at that bitch, and it immediately keeps her anchored to her spot.

_This is Cheryl’s fight_, she reminds herself again silent, clenching her fists,_ She’s got this_.

“You’ve brutalized me my whole life,” Cheryl corrects her swiftly, voice still not wavering. “You’ve abused me and you’ve neglected me. You sent me to _conversion therapy_.” Without giving her mother a chance to deny what everyone in the room knows is true, the teen holds out the folder even further. “I want to be free of you; of this house, and this name.”

Snatching the papers from her daughter, Penelope only gives them a glance before she’s scoffing again. “And what judge in their right mind do you imagine is going to _grant_ you this fallacy?” she laughs cruelly. “You have nothing without the name you’re so ungrateful for; no access to money, no roof over your head, and no earthly idea of how to care for yourself.”

“Actually, she’ll be staying with us,” Toni’s mother pipes in from behind her. “Now that I’ve got my job at the Register back and I’ll be living in Riverdale again, we’re more than happy to have Cheryl move in with us.”

Toni relaxes for the first time since they arrived at Thistlehouse, glancing back at her mother with a smile that settles into a smug smirk when she looks back at Penelope, who appears to be silently seething.

“And if you sign those papers, we won’t even have to bring this in front of a judge,” Mayor McCoy adds on, but with slightly less disdain lacing her words.

Penelope lets out a hollow cackle as she closes the folder in her hands. “And why on Earth would I ever give this _brat_ anything she wants?”

It takes Alice a moment, and most eyes to shift to her, for her to jump into action. “Oh, that’s me,” she mumbles as she steps forward, adjusting her blazer and narrowing her eyes at Penelope. “Well, unless you want me to publish an article in the Register, exposing you for blackmailing me into firing one of my best employees, then I’d suggest you sign it.”

“Do you really think I’m worried about something as trivial as blackmail?” the oldest Blossom taunts, looking bored at the threat. “After murder and drug dealing, I hardly think anyone in this corrupt town will bat an eye at a little blackmail.”

She’s right, and because she is, her disinterested response was anticipated and planned for.

“I don’t know,” Toni speaks up with faux consideration, moving to stand with Cheryl. “Something tells me your rich, and most likely _married,_ Johns would be _very_ interested in reading about your penchant for blackmail.”

“And I worked for your husband, lady,” F.P. chimes in from the back, and Penelope looks as if she’s just now realizing _he’s_ here, judging by the way her head looks like it’s going to explode. That, Toni has to admit, she doesn’t totally blame her for. “I know enough of the skeletons buried in your closet to know your newsworthy deeds get a lot darker than blackmail.”

“Like sending your daughter to a fucking loony bin to get tortured and electrocuted!” Sweet Pea seethes, but Toni turns around just in time to see Fangs quickly pushing him out of the room to cool him down, and Josie following after them.

Once they’re gone, Alice speaks again, finishing F.P.’s thought. “You might have been able to escape going down with that no good husband of yours last time by playing the clueless wife, but I _promise_ that my new F.B.I. agent son and I will make sure you don’t get away with anything else again.”

The room is silent as the threat hangs in the air, everyone holding their breathe that they’ve done enough, while Cheryl keeps her eyes on the woman in front of her, standing tall.

“Sign the papers, Mother,” she tells her simply, only sounding a bit tired. “For once in your wretched life, make something easy for me. Grant me my freedom and you can continue turning Nana Rose’s beloved home into a den of iniquity for all I care, may she R.I.P..” Cheryl pulls a pen out of her purse and clicks it before offering it to her mother. “This way, we can both get what we want.”

Everyone in the room is silent as they watch Penelope, waiting to see what she’ll do, and the collective breath everyone releases when she reluctantly grabs the pen from Cheryl to scribble down her name, probably echoes throughout the house.

“_Here_,” Penelope hisses, shoving the folder with the signed emancipation papers into Cheryl’s chest and practically throwing the pen at her. “Good riddance, you filthy, deviant, _nightmare_ of a child. I hope to never see you again.”

Her words are meant to wound, one last parting shot she hopes will stick in Cheryl’s head when she’s no longer able to keep filling it with hateful vitriol everyday, but her daughter just smiles.

“You needn’t worry, you won’t,” she promises, looking back at Toni and then down, so she can grab hold of her hand again. “I have a girlfriend now, who loves me, and whom you won’t be able to stop me from loving back anymore. I have an amazing woman, who’s always been more of a mother to me than you ever could be. And I have friends, _real_ friends, who have my back, no matter what. The last thing I will ever need, is to see you _ever _again.”

And just like that, it’s over, and Toni finally sees Penelope for what she is: a bitter, hateful old woman, but not the supervillain she’s built her up to be in her head. Without Clifford, and without all her money, Penelope is only as powerful as any of them allow her to be.

So with nothing else needing to be said, Cheryl turns on her heels to leave, pulling Toni with her, but the pink haired girl looks back just long enough to say, “Have a miserable life, Penelope,” before they leave.

Toni kisses Cheryl as soon as they’re in her room, long and hard and with as much love as she possibly can.

“I am _so_ fucking proud of you,” she gasps when she pulls back, the redhead’s flushed face held between her shaking hands, both of them suddenly filled with a rush of adrenaline. “You were amazing down there.”

“I-I can’t believe I just did that,” Cheryl breathes out, eyes unfocused and wide.

“I can,” Toni replies easily with a wide grin and a laugh that sounds disbelieving even though she’s not at all. “I _knew_ you could.”

“You did?” the redhead asks in a voice so small it would be adorable, if it didn’t make Toni sad.

“You’ve always been stronger than her, Cher,” she tells her firmly, curling her fingers around the back of the taller girl’s neck and pulling her head down to press a long kiss to her forehead. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

They stay standing there like that for a few moments longer, taking the time to really let what happened sink in, and what it all means.

“That really just happened,” Cheryl murmurs.

Toni’s smile grows as she nods. “It did,” she assures her, kissing along the other girl’s hairline until she gets to her cheek and when Cheryl’s nose scrunches up when she hits a ticklish spot, Toni relents with a laugh. She pulls back and looks at the giggling girl fondly. “So, I’m your girlfriend, huh?”

The blush on Cheryl’s cheeks darkens, and she doesn’t deny it before there’s an impatient knock on the door and Betty’s voice comes through muffled, asking if they can come in yet.

“Come on, _ma petite amie_,” Cheryl says cheekily, pulling away from the shorter girl’s grabby hands. “We really should start gathering my things before my mother finds a way around the human snake wall downstairs.”

And as much as Toni wants to stand there and bask in the moment - thank God for her Northside junior high education for making her take French classes - she wants to get Cheryl the hell out of this house more, so she doesn’t argue.

It takes them about a half hour to search through and gather up everything Cheryl deems important enough to take, which is pretty much just some clothes, shoes, pictures, a ring of Nana Rose’s, things of Jason’s and things he’d given her, makeup, her bow, and Henry the giant bear.

(Toni’s not sure where that thing is going to go in their tiny ass trailer, but it’s definitely too important to leave behind, and the trailer is only temporary, anyways.)

Everything she packs up and has the others take down to the cars is pretty much what Toni expected her to take, but there is one thing that surprises her.

Just as they’re about to call it and head out to meet everyone else, Toni watches as Cheryl stops to grab one more thing from underneath her four poster bed.

Her father’s records.

“Wha-? Cher…” Toni starts with a stammer, eyes on the box that the redhead is dragging across the floor until it’s right in front of her. “When did you get these?”

“The same day we listened to them,” Cheryl answers with a small smile and shrug, like it’s nothing. “I had Cousin Betty stop at the pawn shop on our way home and bought them. I know you were confident they’d be there when you were able to buy them, but I didn’t want to tempt fate with something so important to you.”

Toni doesn’t know what to say, other than, “Babe, you didn’t have to do that, that’s not why I brought you there.”

“Don’t be silly, T.T., of course I know that,” Cheryl waves her off. “You brought me there because it was important to you, and I went back and bought them for that very same reason.” She closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around Toni’s waist. “And for what it’s worth, I was thinking of your mother as much as I was thinking of you when purchasing them. Perhaps as a Mother’s Day gift?”

As much as the gesture melts Toni’s heart, she knows how much that collection cost, and she’s not sure she can take it. “It’s an _amazing_ gesture, baby, but-”

“No _buts_,” Cheryl cuts her off. “You don’t repay family for looking after you,” she reminds her, reciting the lesson both Toni and her mother taught her just last night. “You have both done so much for me, and this is something I can do for _you_. Not to repay you, but simply because I love you - _both_ of you - and it’s not often that _I_ get to be the one taking care of someone I love.” Ducking her head to catch Toni’s eyes, Cheryl gives her that pout she knows damn well she can’t resist. “So _please_, let me do this for you.”

Toni’s lips form their own pout, but only because she knows Cheryl is right.

How can she preach to this girl about accepting help and letting the people that love her take care of her, and then act too proud to accept such a sweet gift herself?

And with college and a new house, Toni knows it would be years before she could save up enough disposable cash to be able to buy them, and who knows if they’d still be there by then. This probably is the only realistic way she was ever going to get them back...

“Okay,” she relents with an exaggerated sigh, but she knows the shape of her lips gives her away when Cheryl’s tug upwards, too. Toni makes a show of rolling her eyes as she wraps her arms around the taller girl’s shoulders and pulls her closer for a kiss. “Thank you.”

Cheryl nods and kisses her again, a little longer this time, before she pulls back to remind her, “I’d do anything for you, mon amour.”

After a long day, that was both hard and amazing, they end up spending their night at the Whyte Wyrm, where Sweet Pea, Fangs and Jughead secretly put together a last minute party to celebrate Cheryl’s emancipation.

There’s drinks and toasts and lots of hugs, and even though half of the Serpents in attendance don’t know her - but probably know_ of _her - nobody makes her feel unwelcomed; a party is a party to most of them, and she’s been around the trailer park enough for them to know she’s cool.

It takes a good half hour for Cheryl to fully relax and stop being so keenly aware of just where she is, but once she does, Toni can tell she starts having a good time, too.

Toni’s mother had to head back to Centerville for a job tomorrow, but everyone else that matters is there - including Josie and Archie, who Sweet Pea apparently extended an invitation to earlier at Thistlehouse - and she’s the center of attention, so of course she’s having a good time.

And more than that, so is everyone else.

“Someone’s happy,” Toni remarks when Sweet Pea and Fangs find the couple sitting at the bar, and the taller of the two goons has a big grin on his face. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” he scoffs in protest, but that smile won’t let up.

“He talked to a pretty girl,” Fangs sells him out with a laugh, rudely pulling Toni’s glass out of her hand to take a sip, only to be disappointed to discover that it’s just Coke. “Lame, Topaz.”

Toni shrugs and snags her drink back, turning her attention to Sweet Pea, who’s still trying to control his face. “Oh?”

“Do tell,” Cheryl presses, sipping her own Cherry Coke with a straw.

“There’s nothing to tell,” he insists with a huff. “She’s just a girl I talked to a little bit, who just happens to be cute.”

Amused, Toni looks in the direction the boys had just come from and manages to spot a familiar girl looking in their direction. She’s not a Serpent herself, but her father is, and she lives in Sunnyside with them; Toni doesn’t think they’ve ever spoken, but she’s definitely seen her around.

And most importantly, Toni can tell she’s into Sweet Pea by the way she blushes and quickly looks away when she realizes she’s been caught staring.

“Way to go, bud,” she congratulates her friend with a light punch to the arm.

Even if nothing comes of it, it’s nice to see Sweet Pea truly moving on from Josie and getting over the Archie thing, too.

“Yeah, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it,” he grumbles, clearly knowing everyone is thinking along the same lines as Toni. But instead of calling more attention to it, he changes the subject by slinging an arm over Cheryl’s shoulders and pointing in the direction of the dart board across the bar. “So what do you say, Blossom? Ready for my rematch?”

Cheryl shares a look with Toni and they both bite back knowing smiles as she nods, feigning innocence. “Sure thing, Chewbacca,” she agrees, finishing off her drink before she slips off her stool and lets herself be led across the bar, but not before blowing a kiss to Toni.

“Did she just make an unprompted Star Wars reference?” Fangs checks as he watches them go. When Toni nods, he lets out a low whistle as she takes Cheryl’s newly vacated seat. “She’s a keeper, Tiny. Never let her go.”

And though Toni laughs at her friend’s dramatics, she spins around on her stool to watch her girl get a bullseye on her first throw and still promises, “I won’t.”

As the night winds down and Sweet Pea’s lost five rounds of darts to Cheryl and has moved onto challenging her in pool, Toni’s ready to leave.

“Are you tired, my love?” Cheryl wonders when Toni slips her arms around her waist from behind and leans into her back.

Toni shakes her head, tucking her chin on the redhead’s shoulder to see how close her current game is to being over. “Just ready to head out,” she explains, watching in amusement as Sweet Pea blows his shot.

“Shall we bounce?”

“No, you finish kicking his ass,” Toni insists, staying in position for a moment longer before letting Cheryl go and standing up straight. “We’ll leave when you’re done.”

But as she stands back to watch the rest of the game play out, Toni’s joined by someone else - someone she’s done a good job of avoiding all night.

“Your girl’s a badass,” F.P. comments as he leans against the wall beside Toni, and she immediately knows he’s talking about this afternoon, not how well she’s dominating Sweet Pea in a pool game.

Not taking her eyes off of Cheryl, Toni nods her agreement. “She most certainly is.”

There’s an awkward beat between them, neither of the teens playing pool noticing the recent arrival, and just when Toni’s about to just leave, F.P. finally says what he came over to say.

“Look, I get it,” he blurts suddenly, pulling Toni’s gaze over to him. “I know what I did and I know why you want nothing to do with me, but thank you; for letting me help her today, so I can at least start chipping away at the debt I owe.” Running a hand through his greasy hair, he sighs, suddenly looking incredibly old and tired to her. “I can never really make it right, but I can at least try. So you tell her that she’s welcome here anytime, and that I’ll keep my distance, from both of you.”

Toni can’t help but wonder if Jughead or Betty, or maybe both, had a talk with him, because the last couple of times she’d spoken to him, he gave the impression that he was oblivious to tension between them.

But whatever caused the change in attitude, Toni’s grateful, so she just nods and says, “Yeah, thanks.”

(She still isn’t sure if he or their relationship is a lost cause or not, but for now, co-existing is the best she can do.)

It seems that’s all F.P. has to say, because having said that, he sticks around just long enough to watch Cheryl sink the winning shot before he slinks off - gone before the redhead even realizes he was there.

Considering the day and night they've had, Toni half expects them both to crash the second they get in their room, but it seems their hormones have other ideas.

Despite the long, and very fun, night, their high from the events of that afternoon hasn’t quite worn off yet, and it seems they both think the best way to drain that energy is to makeout.

But as slow, languid kisses start getting hungrier and hands start following familiar paths as the last time they did this, Toni’s worried it might be having the opposite effect.

“We should stop,” she pants out against Cheryl’s mouth, as it searches for hers again.

“Why?” the redhead mumbles, moving her lips to Toni’s neck when the Serpent wants to keep talking.

That does not make it any easier for Toni to find the sense to control the trajectory of the night. “Because if we keep going, we’ll go too far and your first time should be special,” she manages to get out without moaning. “Not on some mattress on the floor of some trailer on the Southside. This can’t be how you imagined losing your virginity.”

Her words are enough to get Cheryl’s mouth away from her throat, and when the other girl looks down on her, her eyes are that same dark brown as they were the night before, but there’s something warm in them, too.

Cheryl shakes her head like she thinks Toni’s being silly.

“The only way I’ve ever imagined losing my virginity is with you,” she informs her sweetly, brushing wisps of stray pink hair off her forehead. “So, actually, this is _exactly_ it.” Toni looks up at her in awe, not sure how to argue with that, or if she even could. “And it’s not just some mattress in some trailer; this is your home, your room.”

“It’s yours now, too,” is all Toni can think to say, though her mind is replaying all the memories they’ve made here in just a few months.

But the gentle smile that finds its way onto Cheryl’s kiss swollen lips gives the impression it was exactly the right thing.

“I know it hasn’t always felt safe to you, but you’ve made sure it’s never felt anything but for me,” she continues earnestly, making it impossible for Toni to fight the desire to give in.

“Baby…”

“It’s perfect, because it’s with you,” Cheryl spells it out for her, voice and the hand on her collarbone warm. “So for once, please get out of that head of yours and just be with me.”

Toni holds back for just a moment before she does what her body always knew it was going to do, and rolls them over so that she’s on top when she kisses her again.

As tentative hands explore, it’s clear that neither Cheryl nor Toni know exactly what they’re doing, but they’re happy to learn together; the touches that feel good and the ones that feel _really_ good; which spots to lick and which ones to bite.

Things start off giggly and light, as they tread waters they’ve already dipped their toes into, but as they wade deeper into each other, breathy laughs become short gasps, and steady hands start to tremble.

It’s Cheryl that takes the plunge first, hot mouth finding Toni’s chest as soon as it’s bare, and an eager tongue pulling her closer, as Toni arches and her fingers get lost in red hair.

She rocks in Cheryl’s lap, clinging to shoulders that aren’t as naked as hers yet, her head thrown back enough that the ends of her pink hair brush the arms wrapped around the small of her back.

Toni feels warm and then hot, a feeling she’s never felt but can still name making her whole body shiver.

“_Cheryl_,” she whines just to say it, digging her nails into pale skin when the girl beneath her responds with her tongue but not with words.

Wet, open mouthed kisses move across her chest, from her collarbone to her heart, and as Toni’s head drops forward, her fingers toy with the thin strap of material getting in the way of her own mouth, until she has it pulled down and then undone, exposing an expanse of flushed, smooth skin for her to devour.

With a shift of her hips and just the right amount of pressure, Toni has Cheryl on her back without much thought or effort, and her hands never settling in one place for too long.

As things heat up and clothes are peeled off, the air becomes more charged, but the tension between them doesn’t grow too much to bear, at least not for Toni. The comfort of Cheryl’s touch is still there, even when it reaches between her thighs and rips a sound she’s never made from her throat.

The next noise she makes is smothered and swallowed, Cheryl’s kiss more sure than her exploring fingers are, but it all feels good to Toni.

It feels like the other girl is all over her all at once, and as her own hand ghosts over Cheryl’s ribcage and snakes between their straining bodies to follow the same path the other girl’s had, Toni worries it might be too much for her.

“Is this okay?” she pulls away just long enough to ask, her breathing labored and her voice shaky; she tries to blink the haze away to see Cheryl clearly, and when she does, she aches at the sight.

The other girl is always beautiful, but never quite like this.

“Y-Yeah,” Cheryl breathes outs, craning her neck to give Toni another kiss. “Just, just go slow?” she asks earnestly. “I-I have no clue what I’m doing.”

It’s sweet and endearing, not a trace of shame or embarrassment in her tone, and it strikes Toni then just how much Cheryl trusts her.

This is a girl that’s been burnt and burned back, and who doesn’t open up to many people, but here she is, laid bare beneath her in every way she can be, ready to give Toni parts of herself she’s never trusted anyone else with before.

And even though this isn’t her first time in the same way it is Cheryl’s, Toni knows from the way she throbs, that she’s giving pieces away, too.

“I don’t, either,” she reminds her with a reassuring smile, breath hitching with a laugh as Cheryl’s fingers settle into place again. “But I think we’re doing pretty damn good so far, don’t you?” That gets a giggle out of Cheryl, who bites her lip and nods, the answer getting stuck in her throat as Toni follows her lead. “We’ll teach each other, okay?”

The redhead nods again and chases her mouth for a kiss when Toni rolls them over so they’re laying together; facing one another as they move in tandem, following a feeling the other is giving them.

They build each other up and then make the climb together; fingers slipping, curling and grasping all the way to the peak, until they reach the very top, and then tumble down, free falling one after the other.

Cheryl goes first, body tight and tense as she gasps out Toni’s name and pulls her over the edge with her, holding her close until they both hit the ground.

It takes a while for the stars - or maybe they're hearts - behind Toni’s eyes to fade, but when they do and she can see Cheryl clearly, it feels like it’s for the first time.

The sun wakes them up later than Cheryl would usually sleep on a weekend, but they have nowhere to go and every reason to sleep in, so the redhead doesn’t make a fuss when she notices the time.

“G’morning,” Toni mumbles without even opening her eyes, the arm she has wrapped around Cheryl’s back instinctively pulling her closer.

Cheryl makes a satisfied sound, a lot softer than any of the ones she made last night, and cuddles closer herself, nuzzling the underside of Toni’s chin with her nose. “It’s a very good morning indeed.”

A lazy smile fights its way onto the Serpent’s face and as her eyes finally flutter open and find Cheryl, she’s bathed in sunlight.

“Corny,” she teases through a yawn, her mouth settling into a more neutral shape as she thinks about what they did last night, and even before that. “So, no regrets?”

“Not a single one,” the redhead answers, so firmly that there’s no room for doubt.

Toni presses a kiss to the top of Cheryl’s head, her grin returning. “Good,” she sighs. “Me neither.”

She’d thought about being with Cheryl like that for years, and dreamt of it too, and while it’s not often that real life lives up to a fantasy that good, this time it did.

It wasn’t perfect, just like the rest of their story, but it was perfect for them, and everything Toni wanted it to be. Judging by the wandering hands tickling her ribcage right now, Cheryl would say the same.

“So that’s where your Serpent tattoo is,” she says instead, though, voice scratchy and adorable with wonder, like she didn’t trace it with her tongue less than seven hours ago. “I’ve been curious.”

“All you had to do was ask, I would have happily shown you,” Toni replies back with a smirk, as if she wasn’t the one hesitant to go all the way less than seven hours and fifteen minutes ago.

But Cheryl doesn’t call her out on it, just hums and continues idly brushing the ink with her thumb. “What shall we do today?” she wonders. “On my first official day of independence?”

“Mhmm,” Toni purrs, her own fingers drawing shapes on the pale back beneath them. “Well, we have boxes full of your stuff to unpack out in the living room, homework we didn’t get done yesterday and a record player we have to find before my mom gets home next weekend,” she lists their options, eyes finding that first polaroid of them on her wall. She pauses to consider, and then decides, “So I say we make a fort in here and stay in bed all day.”

Cheryl’s body shakes against hers as she laughs in delight, memories of first kisses and second first kisses no doubt floating through her mind.

And as she abandons Toni’s tattoo to cradle her jaw and pull her in a kiss that’s closer to their three hundredth, she knows her answer is _yes_.

(Toni pulls out her old pink polaroid camera about midday, and after finding batteries to make it work, she snaps more than a few pictures of them together in bed - barely dressed, no makeup and hair a mess - and puts her favorite one on the wall beside the first one.

Cheryl’s sketch of them goes up there, too.)

After a crazy Saturday and a lazy Sunday, both girls are ready and rested for school on Monday.

Or, Toni was, until Sweet Pea opens his big mouth the second he gets her alone in Bio. “So you finally got laid, huh?” he somehow deduces bluntly, yet somehow not sounding pervy at all, just happy for her.

“None of your business, asshole,” she grumbles half-heartedly, fighting a smile as she opens her textbook to find the reading she definitely didn’t do that weekend.

(Good thing she’s a natural academic.)

Sweet Pea smirks, reading her face easily, but before he relents, he pesters her just a little bit more. “Okay, but I just gotta ask, does Red talk like that in bed, too?” he teases her in a whisper. “And if she does, does that really turn you on? Or is it like doing it with a thesaurus?”

Instead of answering, Toni turns around to slug him in the arm - which she’s finding herself doing a lot lately - but it’s her loud laugh that catches the teacher’s attention and earns her a warning.

The rest of the day is uneventful, except for the end of it, when Toni and Cheryl catch the conclusion of a conversation between Josie and Veronica when they approach Toni’s locker hand in hand, one that ends in a hug before Veronica continues on her way.

“That looked friendly,” Cheryl notes as they get closer, and though the volume of her voice would suggest she’s talking to Josie, it’s Toni that agrees.

“First Sweet Pea, now Veronica,” she adds on as they finally reach her locker. “Who will Josie make peace with next?”

Rolling her eyes, Josie closes her locker door just as Toni opens hers. “Unlike you troublemakers, I have no other beefs to settle.” Before either girl can respond, Josie’s eyes drift past them to someone behind them, and the smile she was already sporting spreads into something more like a grin. “But you ladies will have to excuse me, my man is waiting for me.”

With that, Josie skips off, leaving the couple to watch her as she greets Archie with a spinning hug and kiss, right in the middle of the crowded hallway.

Toni smiles at the sight, happy for them in a way she couldn’t allow herself to be when Sweet Pea was still bummed, but when she turns back to Cheryl, she finds a more sombre expression.

“You okay, babe?” she asks, replacing one final book before closing her locker and leaning against it to give the other girl her full attention.

Cheryl’s eyes aren’t sad when they meet hers, just a little wistful. “I just wish we could be like that,” she explains, gaze returning to the couple disappearing into the crowd of people around them. “I wish _I_ could be like that for you.”

Knitting her eyebrows together, Toni steps closer to Cheryl, but not too close. “Hey,” she calls, tugging on her hand and her eye line. She waits until the redhead is looking at her. “I don’t need that. And I certainly don’t want it, not until you’re ready.”

And Toni means that completely.

It was never about any kind of public displays for her, all she ever wanted was answers, and what she got was so much more.

If all Cheryl is ever comfortable doing in public is holding her hand and kissing her cheek, then Toni will consider herself lucky.

“I still have a lot to unpack,” Cheryl admits, like she has to explain or justify herself; as if Toni would expect a switch to be flipped just because she’s out from under her mother’s abusive and homophobic thumb. “But prom is next month, despite their refusal to consider my superior suggested themes,” she adds unexpectedly, taking a shaky, nervous breath. “And _perhaps_... I might be ready by then. That is, of course, if you’d want to go with me?”

She tries to play it down, but it’s a big deal and, more than that, it’s a promise - and they don’t break promises.

Toni laughs and she pulls Cheryl into a hug that she wouldn’t have allowed two months ago, but melts into now.

“I’d never go with anyone else,” Toni answers, pressing a quick kiss to the base of Cheryl’s neck before she pulls away.

But before she can go too far, the redhead keeps them connected at the fingers as they make their way out of the school and into the parking lot, where her bike is waiting to take them home.

And later that night, after they’ve finished making dinner together, doing homework together and looking over the house listings Toni’s mother forwards them together, they get ready for bed together.

They do everything together now, just like when they were kids.

But as Toni watches Cheryl brush her teeth and returns the foamy, toothpaste-y kiss she gives her, she realizes that she doesn’t love her best friend (most definitely girlfriend) like she did when they were kids.

The kind of love Toni has for Cheryl now - right now, in this moment, in this cramped trailer bathroom - it can only come from all that they’ve endured and overcome.

It’s not that little kid, Disney fairy-tale kind of love, where girl meets girl, they kiss and then live happily ever after; it’s not puppy love anymore.

Even though they’re still just teenagers, this is real, grown up love, where girl meets girl, they kiss and then lose each other; grow apart, go through trauma, find each other again, and then grow together.

It’s hard and painful and messy, but it’s stronger, too.

Toni wishes, so very badly, that she could erase some of that hard and painful middle for Cheryl, but she wouldn’t trade what they have now for what they had then for anything.

And in ten or twenty or fifty years from now, she’ll be able to look back on this night - right now, in this moment, in this cramped trailer bathroom - and feel the same; Toni knows it in her bones.

Because their love only matures and grows up with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all I wrote! When I'm finishing multi-chapter fics (which isn't often, granted), I like to wrap up and revisit all, or as many, threads that I've touched on throughout the fic, while also introducing some new things or leaving others open, as a way to kind of give readers an idea of what the next little bit of their lives look like. So that's why we didn't see them get a new house and move into it, or go to prom or see Cheryl fully come out, etc. All of that happened for them in the right time, but it's up to your imagination! That said, if there's any glaring omission on my end, feel free to ask in the comments and I'll answer you.
> 
> Anyways, this fic clearly got so far away from me, and for no reason other than I lack brevity, but thank you for reading and sticking with it, and especially the people that commented. I've been an avid reader/writer in my fair share of fandoms, and I've noticed that this one isn't that active in leaving feedback as others, but a lot of you guys have been so amazing with leaving comments on this fic, nice long ones that I so looked forward to getting, so thank you all so much for that, you really helped to keep me motivated. I encourage you to continue doing that for any fic you love; a little thought in feedback can go a long way!
> 
> I'm definitely not planning to ever write a multi-chapter fic again, but I do hope to write more for Choni, probably long one-shots, if people are interested, so look out for those some day. Until then, as always, you can find me on Tumblr (cherbombshells) or Twitter (mylittlefaith). As Cheryl would say, toodles!


End file.
